Kissing Help

[2xb7nz]

Me again, asking for some help

I have always had trouble with kissing and have never really been able to get it going well. Because of this, I have missed quite a few opportunities with girls I like because I am so worried about what will happen when I royally screw up.

Basically what Im asking is, is if there is anyway to practice before trying on a girl I want to get alot closer to, or if anyone has any tips on what to do.

Thanks in advance.

 

[thirty]

Me again, asking for some help

I have always had trouble with kissing and have never really been able to get it going well. Because of this, I have missed quite a few opportunities with girls I like because I am so worried about what will happen when I royally screw up.

Basically what Im asking is, is if there is anyway to practice before trying on a girl I want to get alot closer to, or if anyone has any tips on what to do.

Thanks in advance.

I guess I'm not a good kisser either, but I don't worry about it too much. Kissing is just a part of the relationshlps.
If you really love a girl, she can feel it.

 

[Ravin the Poet]

No way you can really pratice unless you get like a doll or use your hand. It's just something that comes in time.

Andrew

 

[TBKahuna123]

Wow, I'm sitting here trying to think of some kind fo "technique" to use adn I can't really figure any out. It's wierd because I could give you three or four step by steps on how to perform oral sex, but I can't describe kissing!

I think the thing is that for me it's a very existential thing, it's less a technique than an approach and an expression. Kissing isn't as much sexual as it is affectionate and emotionally expressive. I think to be a good kisser you ahve to be able to translate that emotion through your kiss. Convey your passions and intensity without conveying urgency.

So how do you do that? Well I guess the number one thing is self control. Don't rush a kiss. If you are worried about "not being a good kisser", then just take it slow and easy. The number one mistake most young guys make is they are too eager and too rough and kissing to them is more of a tonsilectomy than anything else. Don't just jam your tongue down her throat, restrain yourself. Start slow and gentle and build up the intensity slowly. If you feel it getting clumsy because one or both of you are getting over anxious, slow it down a bit and regain control. Allow your passion to be conveyed through your lips to hers.

Of course, that said there is that time to lose control and just go wild, but that comes later and the kiss is then a part of a grander scheme of carnal delights. I think if you are talking about just kissing though, control is the key to conveying passion. It's the difference between saying "I want you" and "I'm horny".

I hope this helps a little bit. There really is no way to practice other than with a woman. My suggestion is find a girl who'd like to practice too and make it a regular thing.

 

[Mr. Mann]

1) Quit thinking so much. It's kissing, not rocket science.

2) Practice. With a person.

No, really. Give it a shot. That's what I did once many years ago.

Ask a girl, or a guy, (whatever you like) whom you are friends with. . Just be up front and come right out and ask them if they would be interested in practicng with you. It can be a fun learning experience for you both. To actually try new things and actually get (and give) a little critique.

Really! I know it is a little weird, but "what the hell?" right?

3) next time you are in a relationship, try just kissing for a long time. It is great foreplay. Say, "Hey, let's kiss each other for at least a half-hour." Try sucking on their tongue. That is hot sometimes. Or lip sucking. That can be cool. Just have a little make out session and try out your stuff. See what you like. See what they like. Maybe come right out and ask them, "What kind of kissing really curls your toes?"

 

[EJFan]

Ask a girl, or a guy, (whatever you like) whom you are friends with. . Just be up front and come right out and ask them if they would be interested in practicng with you. It can be a fun learning experience for you both. To actually try new things and actually get (and give) a little critique.

this is pretty much the best, most practical advice i can think of as well.

as far as expressing kissing techniques in words, i think there are a lot more "don'ts" than there are "do's"... and who can really get anything from a list of things you SHOULDN'T do?

 

[Programmer Cat]

Basically what Im asking is, is if there is anyway to practice before trying on a girl I want to get alot closer to, or if anyone has any tips on what to do.

Well, you could practice with another guy. Or you could just go slow, be extremely gentle, and let her lead. That's how I did things with my wife. Whatever you do, don't just ram your tongue down her throat.

 

[Norajane]

I have always had trouble with kissing and have never really been able to get it going well. Because of this, I have missed quite a few opportunities with girls I like because I am so worried about what will happen when I royally screw up.

Well, what kind of trouble are you having, exactly? Maybe if you tell us what you're experiencing, we can give you an idea of what might be the problem with your approach.

Also, try reading through this thread - lots of good information and tips there.

The kissing thread

 

[bobsgirl]

>snip<
I think the thing is that for me it's a very existential thing, it's less a technique than an approach and an expression. Kissing isn't as much sexual as it is affectionate and emotionally expressive. I think to be a good kisser you ahve to be able to translate that emotion through your kiss. Convey your passions and intensity without conveying urgency.

So how do you do that? Well I guess the number one thing is self control. Don't rush a kiss. If you are worried about "not being a good kisser", then just take it slow and easy. The number one mistake most young guys make is they are too eager and too rough and kissing to them is more of a tonsilectomy than anything else. Don't just jam your tongue down her throat, restrain yourself. Start slow and gentle and build up the intensity slowly. If you feel it getting clumsy because one or both of you are getting over anxious, slow it down a bit and regain control. Allow your passion to be conveyed through your lips to hers.

As TBK said so well, take it slow. And maybe concentrate on other spots than her mouth. Mouth kissing is wonderful, but most women, at least I do, get really revved up by soft kisses on the neck, ears, and for me, my shoulders...

 

[jerseyman1963]

I always thought kissing was the most underrated of the physical and sexual acts. Aside from holding hands it's the first stop on the road to Mamboland, so everyone blows right by it in their haste to get naked. But really, if you learn how to do it well, it can be a real aphrodisiac. Not the physical release of sex, but an emotional high distinctly its own. Anyone who's had a great kiss remembers thinking, "Wow. And what comes next!?!?!"

Unfortunately, the only way to learn it is by doing it. But take some time, and think about it as you go. Seriously. Disect it and break it down into little parts. Think about it as you go, like, "What happens if I just give her little pecks for 5 minutes?" Or, "What happens if I give her little pecks but move from left to right across small little parts of her mouth?" Or, "What happens if I do that and then suck gently on her lower lip?" After a sufficient warm up a favorite of mine is the full open mouth kiss but holding my tongue back. Everyone expects the tongue, and it's erotic when it's not there.

Think SMALL. Don't go for the big French foreign movie kiss. That comes later when yo're both warmed up.

I think part of the problem is because kissing is generally the first form of erotic contact we have with a potential partner, we're curious about what it's going to be like, but we're nervous at the same time, so we rush into it nervously, when it's the exact moment to take a big deep breath and go slow.

I'm serious about thinking about breaking a kiss down into little motions. It really helps, and I bet you'll find your partner then wants to rush it more than you do. You can even say out loud, "Sssh. One step at a time." I bet you will be pleasantly surprised by the result. She'll think you're like some patient sex god. There's no need to tell her you're doing it because you feel awkward or scared. She'll think you're taking charge with great confidence.

And stop once in a while too. A few well placed kisses and then sit back and smile at her. Savor the moment and don't rush it. Buy yourself some time to think about how it just went, what worked, and what you might try next. But she'll think you're being a fun tease.

 

[magnoliasouth]

ivillage.com has some great articles on kissing.

http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sexkissing/topics/0,,4tgq,00.html

Basically just being gentle and taking it slow to begin with is the key.

Although I have to admit something here. The very MOST romantic kiss I ever had was in high school. I had a friend named John. We were like best friends and though he was quite the handsome guy (a lot of girls drooled over him) I just never paid much attention. He was a friend and I never even considered more. I was going with this guy named Chris at the time.

So the three of us, Chris, John and myself were all heading down the stairwell to our next class together. Chris was being silly and ran ahead of us. John said something and I still don't know what it was that he said. I swear to goodness I thought he said that I dropped a pen. Anyway, I turned around to ask him what was that he said and he just grabbed me by my arms, saying "come here" and pulled me to him. It was a hard tongue probing kiss, but WOW. My knees went weak and stunned is only slightly how I felt. He let go of me, then walked right past me smiling that adorable cocky smile. He needed to prove something to himself I think.

That kiss has been seared into my memory forever.

 

[TheIndigoSultan]

My first kiss was a girl in my freshman year of college. I told her I liked her as a girl, and she agreed. I looked confused, so she kissed me. She really suprised me with her tongue, but I caught on quickly enough. What made the difference was that we already had been caring about each other, but hadn't expressed it and then I was honest about being a virgin. She liked that and she taught me how to kiss.