Kissing and affection in scene

[MissTaken]

How do you use it?

Do you?

In what circumstances?

For subs:

When is it most necessary?

Do you enjoy it?



I love kissing, always.

 

[A Desert Rose]

~~~~~~I LOVE KISSING. Especially after I am totally "spent." Nothing nicer than being held and caressed and kissed, as a reward for a job well done.
Rose

 

[Ebonyfire]

Originally posted by MissTaken [/i]
How do you use it?

"Not a whole lot."

Do you?

"I do as part of some of my rituals."

In what circumstances?

"It depends on what is occurring and in some rituals it is standardized."

Eb

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Kissing and affection in scene

Originally posted by MissTaken [/i]
How do you use it?

"Not a whole lot."

Do you?

"I do as part of some of my rituals."

In what circumstances?

"It depends on what is occurring and in some rituals it is standardized."

"But I am not romantically involved with my subs."

Eb

 

[zipman]

How do you use it?

Do you?

In what circumstances?

For subs:

When is it most necessary?

Do you enjoy it?



I love kissing, always.

I always use kissing in my scenes! I often use them to start a scene when my sub is bound and helpless. She loves kissing and I will often lightly kiss her lips, but pull away as soon as she seeks to be kissed deeper and harder. I tease her like this for a while before I move on to other areas of her body.

I always kiss her when we are done with a scene and after she has submitted to an especially painful session/activity. I use it is a positive reward for her submission.

And of course, because I enjoy it.

 

[MissTaken]

I enjoy kissing as it is erotic.

However, if I am kneeling and a tear escapes due to the contents of the scene, a finger tip wiping the tear and a kiss to the forehead will go yards to motivate me to continue.

And certainly, the aftermath and all it's rewards are why we do this thing, no?

 

[A Desert Rose]

Yes MissT, the gentleness in the aftermath speaks volumes to the sub and about the Dom.
I love the feeling after I have been totally "stripped bare" both literally and figuratively and being kissed and held. Of course, I love kissing "in scene" too. But I feel complete when I am treated with this at the "end" as a reward for pleasing.
Rose

 

[Ebonyfire]

Aftercare

My two subs do hit subspace pretty hard, and although we are not in a romantic relationship, we do have affection for each other. I am a big believer in aftercare. Especially since sissy usually has to drive an hour to get home. I have to make sure he has come back to himself. So we do cuddle for a while.

Eb

 

[CarolineOh]

How do you use it?

Do you?

In what circumstances?

For subs:

When is it most necessary?

Do you enjoy it?



I love kissing, always.

I can only really get my head into a submissive state if I feel an emotional connection, and the perfect way to acheive that is with kisses and affectionate touchs mixed in with the play. Sometimes I sort of start to feel lost and a gentle caress or kiss will act as an emotional anchor, making me feel safe and secure no matter how hard we are playing.

 

[Persephone36]

I know I'm the newbie at this -- but I can't imagine kissing and affection as *not* being part of a scene. There's just no point to me otherwise...

...and once again, puts me back into that question of how I fit into to all of this...*sigh*


P.

 

[Quint]

Perse, almost everyone above agreed with you that kissing was crucial! Don't keep knocking yourself as the "newbie." There are always newbier, and you're quite intelligent enough to make up for whatever lack of experience you have.

I do delight in spoiling a unanimous thread, though...but I can't, this time. While there are LOTS of fantasies I have when kissing would be irrelevant or counterproductive, it does indeed play a large role in most of my needs and wants. Now, whether or not that's always smoochy-kissing as opposed to plundering-my-mouth-kissing is another matter....

I really don't see the lack of cuddles as a detriment to establishing an emotional connection. I guess I'm just comfortable knowing that it's there, regardless of how often that knowledge is reaffirmed. And then there is something cold but almost refreshing about feeling totally alone....but I'll give more feedback on that if/when it happens r/l.

 

[Persephone36]

Perse, almost everyone above agreed with you that kissing was crucial! Don't keep knocking yourself as the "newbie." There are always newbier, and you're quite intelligent enough to make up for whatever lack of experience you have.

Thanks sweetie -- kind of day I'm having. I'm just slamming myself a lot. I appreciate the support.


P.

 

[Desdemona]

I definitely need and crave the affection before, during and after a scene. It motivates me to continue and to push limits. I need an emotional bond in order to truly submit.

I'm not necessarily talking about being in love (although that would be wonderful some day). I have a play partner who is a good friend. He cares about me as a person and it shows whenever we interact. I don't love him, but I do like and respect him. The bond of friendship, respect and affection really does allow me to feel safe and to submit when we play.

 

[TantaLiza]

I, too, must admit that I can't be involved physically without kissing...it's just the basic to begin anything. My juices don't start really flowing until I get one of those deep penetrating kisses that end with the biting of my bottom lip and a light tugging... it goes for any D/s play too...

 

[SierraMoon]

I definitely need and crave the affection before, during and after a scene. It motivates me to continue and to push limits. I need an emotional bond in order to truly submit.

I'm not necessarily talking about being in love (although that would be wonderful some day). I have a play partner who is a good friend. He cares about me as a person and it shows whenever we interact. I don't love him, but I do like and respect him. The bond of friendship, respect and affection really does allow me to feel safe and to submit when we play.

i am in the same predicament, Des... my Dom is a very good friend, we trust each other, and play well together. There is a fondness between us, but it is not love, and probably never will be. Unfortunately, i have very strong feelings for someone else, so we will see how that plays out....

 

[Desdemona]

i am in the same predicament, Des... my Dom is a very good friend, we trust each other, and play well together. There is a fondness between us, but it is not love, and probably never will be. Unfortunately, i have very strong feelings for someone else, so we will see how that plays out....

I'll have to consider this more fully. I never think about this friend of mine as *my Dom*. That is probably because I always hold something in reserve from him. But for now, having him as a friend and play partner meets some of my needs. When I'm ready to wholeheartedly submit and allow myself to be vulnerable again, I will. For me, that level of trust requires a much deeper emotional connection than I have or expect with this friend.

I hope you will find happiness with this other person, Sierra.

 

[Daddyslilpet]

Kissing and affection are very much a part of our scenes. Master really enjoys kissing, and so do I. I can't imagine as others have already said leaving that out.


dixi

 

[Persephone36]

I'll have to consider this more fully. I never think about this friend of mine as *my Dom*. That is probably because I always hold something in reserve from him. But for now, having him as a friend and play partner meets some of my needs. When I'm ready to wholeheartedly submit and allow myself to be vulnerable again, I will. For me, that level of trust requires a much deeper emotional connection than I have or expect with this friend.

I hope you will find happiness with this other person, Sierra.

I understand where you and Sierra are at Des. I haven't had bdsm play partners -- but I've had lovers who were friends, who I trusted and respected. It just wasn't love. Didn't stop me from having great experiences with them -- and not just 'nilla ones, lol.

But I also know what you mean about allowing yourself to be vulnerable again with the right person. It has to be the right person -- the one you can fall in love with. I do understand that. I'm right there with you, babe.

In the meantime -- it's wonderful to have a friend you trust enough and whose company you enjoy enough to play with. I know sometimes there comes a little sadness that you don't "love" them -- but still, there's a real bond there. And that's something to be cherished -- even if it's not everything your heart desires.

*Big hug* Des

P.

 

[MsWorthy]

I am not "into" kissing very much. It is, simply, something I have never liked much.

As for affection in my "scenes", since most, of not all, of my scenes are about "force", mental/emotional coercion, erotic humiliation, and naughtiness, affection would be inappropriate for my playstyle.

~which came first, my lack of desire for physical affection or my desire for "harsh" play...*smiles*~

btw, aftercare or enjoying the afterglow (more appropriate for me) is about snuggling.

 

[Desdemona]

I understand where you and Sierra are at Des. I haven't had bdsm play partners -- but I've had lovers who were friends, who I trusted and respected. It just wasn't love. Didn't stop me from having great experiences with them -- and not just 'nilla ones, lol.

But I also know what you mean about allowing yourself to be vulnerable again with the right person. It has to be the right person -- the one you can fall in love with. I do understand that. I'm right there with you, babe.

In the meantime -- it's wonderful to have a friend you trust enough and whose company you enjoy enough to play with. I know sometimes there comes a little sadness that you don't "love" them -- but still, there's a real bond there. And that's something to be cherished -- even if it's not everything your heart desires.

*Big hug* Des
P.

Thanks Perse. I am very pleased to have a friend I can play with and I actually don't want to fall in love him. He has other attachments; we provide each other with a safe outlet for meeting needs that aren't being met elsewhere. We have a fabulous time together and always part feeling satisfied. We both enjoy the afterglow and the affection within our friendship. We also both understand that there is no possibility for more and have talked about remaining friends when I do eventually meet *the one*.
I am not at all unhappy with the current arrangement and I'm sorry if I gave the wrong impression. Perhaps the sadness over my recent loss came through. I'm working on it though. This will pass with time. It's only been a few weeks and I am optimistic about my future. I'm even thinking about placing a personal ad or two.

 

[Persephone36]

Thanks Perse. I am very pleased to have a friend I can play with and I actually don't want to fall in love him. He has other attachments; we provide each other with a safe outlet for meeting needs that aren't being met elsewhere. We have a fabulous time together and always part feeling satisfied. We both enjoy the afterglow and the affection within our friendship. We also both understand that there is no possibility for more and have talked about remaining friends when I do eventually meet *the one*.
I am not at all unhappy with the current arrangement and I'm sorry if I gave the wrong impression. Perhaps the sadness over my recent loss came through. I'm working on it though. This will pass with time. It's only been a few weeks and I am optimistic about my future. I'm even thinking about placing a personal ad or two.

No, I didn't think you sounded sad...maybe I could sense what you were saying about your more recent loss. But actually -- I'd say that was me projecting how I felt in my last relationship. We had the same situation in a way -- he had other attachments, so the boundaries were clear and that was great. It was the right person, right time, no regrets. I just meant occasionally -- because the sex was so great, lol, I would just think -- wow, how much more amazing would this be if I was in love, rather than with a friend. Just a momentary thing -- not something I ever fixated on. But probably natural.

But like you -- never for a minute did I part from him ever feeling less. He made me feel great and appreciated -- and we're still friends even if the sexual relationship is over. He's still supportive and fun to talk to -- and for that I think I'm genuinely lucky.

Being optimistic about the future is wonderful Des. You'll get there, so will I -- just takes time. And faith in yourself.

P.

 

[zipman]

Just a matter of time!

No, I didn't think you sounded sad...maybe I could sense what you were saying about your more recent loss. But actually -- I'd say that was me projecting how I felt in my last relationship. We had the same situation in a way -- he had other attachments, so the boundaries were clear and that was great. It was the right person, right time, no regrets. I just meant occasionally -- because the sex was so great, lol, I would just think -- wow, how much more amazing would this be if I was in love, rather than with a friend. Just a momentary thing -- not something I ever fixated on. But probably natural.

But like you -- never for a minute did I part from him ever feeling less. He made me feel great and appreciated -- and we're still friends even if the sexual relationship is over. He's still supportive and fun to talk to -- and for that I think I'm genuinely lucky.

Being optimistic about the future is wonderful Des. You'll get there, so will I -- just takes time. And faith in yourself.

P.

After reading your posts and getting to know how you think, I really believe it is just a matter of time before you do find that person who can fulfill all of your dreams!!

And although I have only "chatted" with the infamous Duchess of Decadence on a few occasions, her posts lead me to believe the same will be true for her!

 

[Persephone36]

Re: Just a matter of time!

After reading your posts and getting to know how you think, I really believe it is just a matter of time before you do find that person who can fulfill all of your dreams!!

And although I have only "chatted" with the infamous Duchess of Decadence on a few occasions, her posts lead me to believe the same will be true for her!

Thank you Zip. You're turning out to be a good friend -- I'm so glad you joined up here. *hug*

I believe Des the Duchess has good things in store for her just around the corner too.


P.

 

[Desdemona]

Re: Just a matter of time!

And although I have only "chatted" with the infamous Duchess of Decadence on a few occasions, her posts lead me to believe the same will be true for her!

hmmmm...I think I like being referred to as "infamous". Thanks for the vote of confidence Zip. I hope we get to know each other better.

 

[Desdemona]

No, I didn't think you sounded sad...maybe I could sense what you were saying about your more recent loss. But actually -- I'd say that was me projecting how I felt in my last relationship. We had the same situation in a way -- he had other attachments, so the boundaries were clear and that was great. It was the right person, right time, no regrets. I just meant occasionally -- because the sex was so great, lol, I would just think -- wow, how much more amazing would this be if I was in love, rather than with a friend. Just a momentary thing -- not something I ever fixated on. But probably natural.

But like you -- never for a minute did I part from him ever feeling less. He made me feel great and appreciated -- and we're still friends even if the sexual relationship is over. He's still supportive and fun to talk to -- and for that I think I'm genuinely lucky.

Being optimistic about the future is wonderful Des. You'll get there, so will I -- just takes time. And faith in yourself.

P.

OK Perse, I get it now. Your projection is pretty much on target with how I feel these days. And you are right, we will both get there in time.