Kirby salesmen.

[VaticanAssassin]

I was in the backyard grilling a pork loin, watching some Sports Center and drinking a beer last night. I heard the door bell ring and left it for my wife. Next thing I know dude is in my house vacuuming the carpet.

Fuck!!

Those mother fucker are persistent. They are trained to ask 12 fucking times. Between their Porsche transmission, Nasa composite deck, and attachments made from the same material as NFL helmets I swear I wanted to kill the fucker.... By the end I was just having fun with him and he eventually picked up on it.

"So you had Porsche designed the transmission for this? Vacuums have transmissions?"

I thought a $500 Kirby was insane. Who the fuck in their right mind would spend $2,900 on a vacuum.

 

[Lancecastor]

my wife.

Kirby.

Which has better suction?

 

[HAL_9000]

I have an old kirby that still works, vintage early '80s.

Fucker weighs 8 tons, but it is good on carpeting, I'll give it credit.

 

[sweepthefloor]

Carpets are disgusting.

 

[HAL_9000]

Carpets are disgusting.

It's true. Heated ceramic tile flooring is the way.

 

[sweepthefloor]

It's true. Heated ceramic tile flooring is the way.

I am happy with hard wood, and all sweepable surfaces.

 

[Sean Renaud]

Why are we selling Kirby?

 

[HAL_9000]

I am happy with hard wood, and all sweepable surfaces.

Wood flooring isnice, but doesn't accommodate underfloor radiant heating as well.

 

[Spence99]

Years and years ago a few days after finishing college I answered a newspaper ad looking for people to fill various positions with a company. The positions included: sales, marketing, communications, management and a couple of others.

I was given an interview and everything went well. I was invited back for a training seminar. About five minutes into the seminar it was clear all the available positions were just bullshit. They were hiring Kirby sales people. It was a very interesting experience. The guy leading the seminar was a good looking young man driving a beautiful red Corvette. According to his story he was a leading sales person that had been given his own unit to start up.

The seminar took all day, but he went out of his way to avoid saying the job was going door-to-door selling vacuum cleaners. We were told about how much money we would make. We were told how successful the company was. We were told about the celebrities that did commercials for them. We were told we would be independent contractors and would get paid a straight commission on every unit we sold. When one of the girls in the group asked: "What happens if we don't sell any?" The guy just blew her off and said: "We won't let that happen."

By the afternoon I couldn't wait to get out of there. As the training session slowly moved more and more into the sales aspect it was explained to us that it was not a door-to-door job, but rather all the sales appointments were scheduled. I never went back for the second day of training. I wonder if that's where they introduced the high pressure tactics?

Weeks later I was working somewhere else and one of the people working with me said he actually went through the whole course and went out on sales calls. He said in almost a month he never sold a single unit and didn't make a dime at that job.

 

[neci]

the door to door electricity salesman came by last week. i could hear him making his rounds, as his breaks were unbearably squeaky. i told him i needed to contact my company to see if i could get a lower rate. he said he would be back. i decided that if he returned, i would switch over, never calling my company. he called back and said he couldn't return due to car problems. i declined his offer.

 

[about_average]

My dad sold Kirby for a while in the 60's. They were damn good vacuum cleaners. No idea if they still are.

 

[Recidiva]

*raises hand* I did go to a Kirby seminar myself. But I never sold one, so I'm innocent of such atrocities.

 

[Adre]

Just bought a Shark Navigator for my new house. Best vac eva! (160 with coupon at BBY)

 

[blobfish]

Carpets are disgusting.

I agree on this and your other count. I only like hardwood floors.

 

[fuckwaffle]

My dirt devil works just fine, thank you.

 

[VaticanAssassin]

My dirt devil works just fine, thank you.

Nah... Maybe of you do not have pets. With pets every 100 vacuum I ever owned died in a year or less. The Kirby has lasted for awhile.

 

[Recidiva]

Nah... Maybe of you do not have pets. With pets every 100 vacuum I ever owned died in a year or less. The Kirby has lasted for awhile.

I've had two Bissells intended for pets in maybe 10 years. Fortunately I can buy them anonymously and not get on a mailing list.

 

[KRCummings]

I had a friend who sold those Pig vacuums. He made some good money back in the day. I think those went for over a grand back when a grand was a lot of money.