King of the Hill

[shereads]

The best of television.

Like the Simpsons, but without the wholesome qualities.

Watching it. Smiling.

 

[Clare Quilty]

Hank Hill on the subject of carving the Hill family Thanksgiving turkey:

Of course, you'll hardly need a knife 'cause that bad boy is so gosh darn succulent

This line slays me every time I hear it.

 

[Guest]

I love those weird Tejanos. Bobby is just so cute, I love his voice and funny legs. The beer pal guys are too much. Peggy is near tragic at times, but her Ess-pah-nole makes me larf.

Perdita

 

[shereads]

I lived next door to these people in Houston. There was even a nutcase with mirrored sunglasses and a brush-cut. His daughter was named LouAnn.

 

[starczar]

I grew up in this town. The name Luanne Platter just kills me. Have ya'll ever been to a Luby's Cafeteria?

 

[Guest]

I looked these up, don't want you thinking I memorize TV show dialogue. P.

Hank to Bobby (who had a career taking off modeling husky-boy clothes):
Bobby, I know you're probably pretty upset with me right now, but one day you'll understand how much love it takes to crush a little boy's dream.
. . .
PEGGY: Quien esta terrando los darts de Nerf?
. . .
Peggy on spanking:
PEGGY: I am going to scare my students, exactly the way President Reagan scared hundreds of millions of Russians with his Star Wars death beam.
HANK: I miss voting for that man.
. . .
Context doesn't matter here:
PEGGY: Caring for Bobby is nothing to be embarrassed about.
CONNIE: Oh, yeah? He named his swollen toe "Madame" and she talks with a French accent.
PEGGY: I did not know that. Well, it's still better than seeing your husband's colon on the wall.

KotH Quotes

 

[SlickTony]

I came up in Texas. First thing I thought when I started watching KotH was, Gosh, this show is so real. And there really are people who talk like Boomhauer.

 

[gauchecritic]

Probably the best quote (as close as I remember) I've ever heard on an American TV show. (apart from Bender dreaming "Hey honey you want to kill all humans?")

Hank: (on Political Correctness) Does this mean I can only hate middle class white Americans?

Gauche

 

[shereads]

Former Texas gov. Ann Richards was on "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me" this morning, and I was reminded of the King of the Hill episode where she played herself, in love with Hank's loser neighbor who was using her because she had season tickets to the Dallas Cowboys.

How on God's earth did that incredibly cool woman end up as governor of the Lone Star State?

She explained the concept of big hair this morning on NPR: "The hair is to balance out a large butt. As you lose weight, it's okay to lower the hair somewhat."

She admits that the current governor has spectacular hair: "It's not just big, it's also wavy."

She was asked whether Dick Cheney's lackluster hair would make him a drag on the ticket.

"No. It won't be his hair that does that."

Edited to add Richards' farewell comment to the cast of "Wait Wait":

"I haven't had this much fun since pigs ate my brother."

 

[Clare Quilty]

She explained the concept of big hair this morning on NPR: "The hair is to balance out a large butt. As you lose weight, it's okay to lower the hair somewhat."

Peggy Hill, on the other hand, is proud of the junk in her trunk. In the episode where Hank had to wear a glutteal prosthestic, Peggy commiserates with Hank over his lack of a butt but comments that she, of course, has "got it going on back there."

 

[shereads]

I admire Hank's dedication to propane.

 

[shereads]

http://www.fox.com/kingofthehill/bios/index.htm

My two personal heros, from the Cast Biographies:

Cotton Hill (Hank's dad)

OCCUPATION: Retired war hero ("The Big One")

PROUDEST ACHIEVEMENT: Received Purple Heart for having his shins blown off

GREATEST DISAPPOINTMENT: Hank Hill

FAVORITE PASTIME: Stopping by the wax museum to give FDR the finger

QUOTE: "I don't take no anesthetic. Did Lincoln ask for any girlie gas when they blowed his head off?"


BOOMHAUER

NAME: Dang ol' Boomhauer, man, tell you 'bout myself woowee turn ons ladies and back seats man sunsets fast cars man, yup love that CK1 like catnip, turn-offs uhuh women golfers man love that Bob Dylan like a rolling stone what'd he say, brief man myself yup dang ol' internet man. Go www.click click click naked chicks yup that's all me uhuh on the next biography man.

 

[shereads]

Name of the local Walmart-like superstore: Megalomart

Megalomart's celebrity spokesman: Chuck Mangione

 

[Guest]

Ooh, Sher, I can't bear Cotton Hill. He is just too creepy. P.

 

[SlickTony]

I dare say there are really people like him, too; fortunately I've avoided meeting with any of them.

 

[shereads]

I grew up in this town. The name Luanne Platter just kills me. Have ya'll ever been to a Luby's Cafeteria?

Now that you mention it, I believe I have dined at a Luby's Cafeteria. I can't recall whether it was comparable to Morrison's Cafeteria or not, but I know the trays were similar.

I'd like to shop at Megalomart, if for no other reason than to let Chuck Mangione know that I liked "Feels So Good" and am not ashamed to admit it.

 

[shereads]

If you people had lost your shins while fighting for your country, you might be a little more admiring of Cotton Hill's complexity. The man has no knees, for God's sake. Cut him some slack.

 

[Guest]

Cut him some slack.

Can't do, not the way he treats Peggy, Hank and his 'bride'.

stubbornly, Perdita

 

[marshalt]

Ooh, Sher, I can't bear Cotton Hill. He is just too creepy. P.

Cotton is the best character on the show!

 

[snooper]

Cotton is the best character on the show!

Especially when he is in Japan.

 

[marshalt]

Especially when he is in Japan.

I killed diffy men!

 

[shereads]

Diffy? That's a lot.