Killing your SO

[freescorfr]

I read somehwere that in most long-term relationships the idea of killing off their partners passes through the mind of most people at some point. This seemed to me wholly possible since it had crossed my mind as one of life's many possibilities.

When I mentioned it to my wife she thought it beyond the bounds of admissibility. That, however, was too late. I'd already declared, "Darling, you know there was a stage in our marriage when I really considered knocking you off......."


Who's even had a little thought like that?

 

[lavender]

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[freescorfr]

Re: Re: Killing your SO

LMFAO!

I'm writing that down in my quote book of things I head that seem odd or highly amusing.

Thank you.

Thanks Lavy - I don't want you to use it in court though.

 

[bluemuse]

When I get a certain look in my eye....

.....he makes sure that I fall asleep FIRST.



bluemuse

 

[Guest]

 

[freescorfr]

Isn't that the norm? Me and my best friend set around talking on how we would do'em in all the time. But we would never go through with it!

I've even told him that when I knock you off, I'm going to take the money from insurance and go see freescorfr.

I've just come back from checking out The Champs Elysee for you, Luscious, and a great little armenian restaurant near St. Michel - the latin quarter. Twangy music candles and serenades. Just waiting for you.

 

[Guest]

 

[Allexus_TN]

A friend of mine and I had a joke when ever my husband pissed me off to no end. All I had to do was look at her a certain way and she'd would know what I was thinking. Then we'd say in unison, "I'M GONNA KILL HIM!" and laugh hysterically. I wouldn't actually kill him. Just toss him over our balcony and break a few bones.

 

[kotori]

two words

Black Walnuts.

English are no trouble. Next time she's exposed to black walnuts, I'm a free man (save for the two minor children).


And what's with the Heavy Metal, freescorfr? Tour Eiffle, and now the Forth Bridge?

 

[freescorfr]

Re: two words

Black Walnuts.

English are no trouble. Next time she's exposed to black walnuts, I'm a free man (save for the two minor children).


And what's with the Heavy Metal, freescorfr? Tour Eiffle, and now the Forth Bridge?

I'll store the black walnuts like a squirrel. Thanks for the tip.

Yes, the heavy metal is certainly not me. I thought that was ok with av's.

No the Forth Bridge was my dad's recurring dream of a bridge to freedom - a dream he had all his life. He was exiled , as a child, in the Kingdom of Fife, and ran away several times, always being caught because the only money he had on him - at the age of 6 and 7 - was gold sovereigns, given to him by his father who had dumped him with a cruel uncle while he went off to Africa. Whenever he tried to by a penny caramel he was caught.

 

[kotori]

I think the black walnuts will only work on my SO--it's her allergy; no need for you to store them, chances are against finding her in Normandy. (She does have a cousine in Haut Savoie, however.)

That is the most complicated reason I've yet heard for selecting an avatar. You are most absolutely mad---and I think I'm in love.

 

[seXieleXie]

i don't think i've ever been with the same person long enough to get that stage, but a girl can dream can't she?

 

[freescorfr]

I think the black walnuts will only work on my SO--it's her allergy; no need for you to store them, chances are against finding her in Normandy. (She does have a cousine in Haut Savoie, however.)

That is the most complicated reason I've yet heard for selecting an avatar. You are most absolutely mad---and I think I'm in love.

Bugger it, I've just ordered a ton of black-walnuts from Auchan.fr.
I though they worked on anyone and would be indetectable.

I'll feed them to the squirrels and have then invite ecologists from all over the globe to come and see The Great Fat Red Normandy Squirrel, and sell them scottish afternoon teas and make a fortune so I can fly out and meet Luscious Lioness unexpectedly in the street.

Who are you in love with Kotori?

 

[kotori]

i don't think i've ever been with the same person long enough to get that stage, but a girl can dream can't she?

I would hardly say it was something to aspire to. But such is the stuff that dreams are made upon.

 

[kotori]

Who are you in love with Kotori?

You, you madman. (Among others. What can I say? Le sacre du printempts.)

 

[freescorfr]

You, you madman. (Among others. What can I say? Le sacre du printempts.)

That's great the Scottish afternoon teas are on me and the Glenmorangie.

 

[Hamletmaschine]

When my ex-wife confessed to me one morning that she had spent the night standing over my sleeping form with a butcher knife, I knew that it was time for me to move out.

 

[April]

Killing your SO? Oh, yesssss, I've thought of it many times.

 

[kotori]

When my ex-wife confessed to me one morning that she had spent the night standing over my sleeping form with a butcher knife, I knew that it was time for me to move out.

Now did you actually do something to encourage this behavior, and how did you know when to stop? That is to drive her just to standing there, but not actually falling on top of you?

(I'm taking notes)

 

[Hamletmaschine]

We were on the verge of splitting up. She was not handling it well. I don't recall any specific details of the events leading up to that night. Her confession that morning kind of sticks out in the figure/ground relationship of my memory.

 

[talk2024]

Re: When I get a certain look in my eye....

.....he makes sure that I fall asleep FIRST.



bluemuse

If ever you wanted to, there's an excuse all ready for you. Saw this at the beginning of the week -

Condition causes violent 'sleep sex'

STANFORD, CALIF. - Sleep researchers have identified a condition which causes people to commit violent sexual acts in their sleep. They called the condition "sleep sex" and were able to treat it with medication, in much the same way as sleepwalking is treated. (…) In the first group were two women who made sexual sounds in their sleep. While embarrassing, their symptoms were considered relatively harmless.

The second group, consisting of a man and a woman, experience periods of violent masturbation in their sleep, which left them bruised and sore.

The third group was made up of six men and one woman who made unwanted, and sometimes violent, sexual advances on their partners.

In one case, a patient tried to strangle his wife.


Wonders of science! What they discover next?

 

[GreenEyedGirl]

Killing your SO is too permanent, there are such better ways to engage your anger.
When I was young and stupid, I lived with my boyfriend who apparently decided that I was not enough woman for him and instead of talking to me about it, he started fucking another girl, much much younger than he or I. We're talking illegal here. I confronted him about his ill hidden evidence, and he lied to my face. I confronted her, and she blithely told me that she was in love with him and he had promised to marry her. In a very controlled rage, I went home, made a batch of my famous super hot salsa. Right before he was to come home from work, I turned off the hot water, removed the soap, towels, toilet paper, and any paper product from the bathroom. Then I ate most of the salsa, when the fucknut came home, I greeted him and treated him to an "impromtou" blow job. Needless to say, I burnt his dick and when he went running into the bathroom, all he found was cold water, which beads off of oil.
Am I proud of this, yes and no. But hell, I didn't kill him did I?