Kids and recess

[starrkers]

Late into this one.
I also have a 9 year old son who was on the receiving end of playground bullying last year. He's short for his age and too smart for his own good. His school work suffered, his home attitude suffered, his self esteem suffered. His teacher was oblivious. I spoke to the teacher several times and eventually went to the principal - my husband and I had a formal appointment with him.
This year things are much better. He has a better teacher (much better), is in a different class from the main bully. It's a composite class of the bright sparks from his year and the year above. He's happier and is beginning to show his intelligence in class again and so far the bully's leaving him alone. And the school is watching.
Last year he wasn't handing in homework. His teacher finally asked me about it 4 weeks from the end of the year. He was doing it. I'd check it. He just didn't hand it in. Then he had to stay in at lunchtime on Friday and redo it. And his teacher couldn't see this was a school problem. But the principal did.

I guess I'm saying, keep working with the principal. Don't give up, and don't feel like a nervous ninny mum about it.

 

[SensualCealy]

First off, Im glad to hear SJ's results with the Principal. No form of bullying should be tolerated what so ever.

Starrkers, did you think maybe he isnt handing it in so that he has an excuse to stay in at recess? My friends son did this, until they found out he would throw his homework in the garbage so that he would get into trouble and have to sit in the principals office to do his work at lunch, the longest time out on the school yard.

Ive spent allot of time on school council and heard allot of scarey stories. The best thing you can do for your kids is be in the faces of the teachers that are responsible for your kids and let the principal know you will not take it lying down.
If you are proactive, the principal usually will back you.

C

 

[starrkers]

Starrkers, did you think maybe he isnt handing it in so that he has an excuse to stay in at recess? My friends son did this, until they found out he would throw his homework in the garbage so that he would get into trouble and have to sit in the principals office to do his work at lunch, the longest time out on the school yard.

Yes, that's exactly what I thought. I was right.
Over the summer school break my son opened up to his uncle - one of the other kids was leading a pack that was giving him a seriously hard time in the playground and, to a lesser extent, in class.
To say my degree of respect for his teacher, who never noticed this, fell is putting it mildly.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

I have three kids and two of them have had to deal with bullying.

When your child doesn't feel safe at school. . . it is time for you as a parent to step in. It is our job to go to the mat for them. If that means we have to talk to the school, or if we know the children's parents, and we talk to them, we do it. It is our job.

Yes, our kids may hate the fact that we are doing it, but we have to ask them. . .If they want it to stop then we have to do our jobs. Protect them.

My son was punched by a boy. I called the school as soon as I saw the black eye. He got this during the last recess of the day, so the teacher didn't see it. The boy who did it was dealt with the next day and I learned he had issues with other kids too and was a repeat problem. . .he was later suspended for his behavior. I don't feel bad about it. It was my job to protect my son and it was the school's job to see it done.

A few weeks ago my daughter, age 12, came home upset because a boy made a comment about her breasts. . .loud enough that most of the class heard it. She told me and I explained to her that if she was not willing to stop this now, then it would continue. She had to want the pain to stop and though it was going to be embarrassing to speak about the incident to the school councilor it was going to have to be done. So again, I went to bat for my kid, because it is my job. . . This time I learned that the boy had been in the office 4 times that day for other reasons. He received three days in school suspension and then he harassed another student and was expelled.

Same daughter and a former girl scout sister were having issues. This time I went to the parent, because I was that girl's former scout leader. I felt safe in speaking with this mom. Things turned out very well and the two girls now get a long again.

Good luck SJ.

 

[sophia jane]

Today, the principal had the counselor come into my son's classroom to do a program called "Circle of Friends." She talked to them about friendships and about how hard it is for new kids to adapt, but she also talked to them about bullying. What it means to bully and how to handle it, when to tell and when to blow it off, that knd of thing. The principal got alot of good feedback from the class after the program and he also met with my son and the other kids involved to give them a final talking to. After that he called me to let me know what was happening. All in all, I'm very pleased with the principal and I know he'll be watching the situation, and my son feels alot better. So...we'll see.

 

[Guest]

I'm glad you're dealing with this Sophia. Bullying is tough. I grew up in the age when it was considered part of the environment--enriching even (gave you strength--prepared you for the real world yada yada).

I know I'm marred by it still. There are things I feel I don't deserve, or cannot achieve and I can trace some of those feelings back to how I was treated when young.

 

[SensualCealy]

Today, the principal had the counselor come into my son's classroom to do a program called "Circle of Friends." She talked to them about friendships and about how hard it is for new kids to adapt, but she also talked to them about bullying. What it means to bully and how to handle it, when to tell and when to blow it off, that knd of thing. The principal got alot of good feedback from the class after the program and he also met with my son and the other kids involved to give them a final talking to. After that he called me to let me know what was happening. All in all, I'm very pleased with the principal and I know he'll be watching the situation, and my son feels alot better. So...we'll see.

Fantastic news! Keep me up to date please.
c

 

[Goldie Munro]

Today, the principal had the counselor come into my son's classroom to do a program called "Circle of Friends." She talked to them about friendships and about how hard it is for new kids to adapt, but she also talked to them about bullying. What it means to bully and how to handle it, when to tell and when to blow it off, that knd of thing. The principal got alot of good feedback from the class after the program and he also met with my son and the other kids involved to give them a final talking to. After that he called me to let me know what was happening. All in all, I'm very pleased with the principal and I know he'll be watching the situation, and my son feels alot better. So...we'll see.

Great to hear this!