dr_mabeuse
seduce the mind
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2002
- Posts
- 11,528
It had never occurred to me that Maria might have a totally different conception of marriage than I had. My folks had had their troubles too, and I know I'd been a real pain in the ass to them, but there had never been any doubt that they would stay together. And when the going got rough, there was always someone around, an uncle, a cousin, an aunt. It was a big, loud family, poorer than dirt, and I'd always been ashamed of them at the time, but they never made my life into the kind of horror Maria had endured.
I held her in my arms and tried to calm her down. I hated to see her like this, in pain, and I tried to find some words to make it better. But what could I say.
"Maria, baby?" I said. She wouldn't look at me, just kept her face buried against my chest. "I could promise you that we would never be like that. But really, what would that mean? No one means to end up like that. No one wants it. But it happens, doesn't it?"
"Maria, if you don't want to get married, or if you want to wait, that's okay with me, baby. Really it is. All I want, all I really want is you, and to know that I'll have you no matter what. I just love you so much, and I'm so scared you'll disappear. That's all it's about baby. That's all if means."
I rolled over and pulled her face up to look at me. She hates me to see her cry, and she fought me, but I wouldn't let her get away. I kissed her lips, I kissed her eyes. I kissed the tears off her cheeks.
"I want you forever, Maria. I want you to be just mine, my own woman, my own lover, If that means getting married, then I want to marry you. If that means not getting married, then I don't want to marry you. But I have to have you, Maria. I have to know you'll always be with me. That if we have an argument or a fight--and I know we will because everyone does--that you won't just pick up and leave."
"Look," I said, and I picked at the chain that she still wore around her wrist. "Remember how you felt when I put this on you, and what it meant? Well that's all this ring is, except when other people see it, they'll know. They'll know it means that you belong to me. You're mine; you're Danny's girl, and they'd better not fuck with you."
"Give me your hand." I said, and she put out her left hand. "This means you're mine, like I just said. That's all it means for now. It means I love you and I want everyone to know." I slipped the ring on her finger, and immediately I saw her feel it with her thumb.
"I'm giving it to you. It's yours, and you can wear it or you can take it off. You can do what you want with it, Maria. It's yours."
I held her in my arms and tried to calm her down. I hated to see her like this, in pain, and I tried to find some words to make it better. But what could I say.
"Maria, baby?" I said. She wouldn't look at me, just kept her face buried against my chest. "I could promise you that we would never be like that. But really, what would that mean? No one means to end up like that. No one wants it. But it happens, doesn't it?"
"Maria, if you don't want to get married, or if you want to wait, that's okay with me, baby. Really it is. All I want, all I really want is you, and to know that I'll have you no matter what. I just love you so much, and I'm so scared you'll disappear. That's all it's about baby. That's all if means."
I rolled over and pulled her face up to look at me. She hates me to see her cry, and she fought me, but I wouldn't let her get away. I kissed her lips, I kissed her eyes. I kissed the tears off her cheeks.
"I want you forever, Maria. I want you to be just mine, my own woman, my own lover, If that means getting married, then I want to marry you. If that means not getting married, then I don't want to marry you. But I have to have you, Maria. I have to know you'll always be with me. That if we have an argument or a fight--and I know we will because everyone does--that you won't just pick up and leave."
"Look," I said, and I picked at the chain that she still wore around her wrist. "Remember how you felt when I put this on you, and what it meant? Well that's all this ring is, except when other people see it, they'll know. They'll know it means that you belong to me. You're mine; you're Danny's girl, and they'd better not fuck with you."
"Give me your hand." I said, and she put out her left hand. "This means you're mine, like I just said. That's all it means for now. It means I love you and I want everyone to know." I slipped the ring on her finger, and immediately I saw her feel it with her thumb.
"I'm giving it to you. It's yours, and you can wear it or you can take it off. You can do what you want with it, Maria. It's yours."