Kicking something around, trying to work it out.

[Five_Inch_Heels]

Lady plays a game. Gets dressed to thrill and goes out into the world, driving, shopping, whatever. Teasing, enticing, being playful and flirty. She's having a blast showing off and getting attention. In the background, someone is watching. Always there, but at a distance, only a glance or two.

It isn't until the very end, that it's revealed to be her partner. The whole day was exh/voy for both of their benefit, but he was also her sense of security in case something went bad.

Trying to figure out how to do the background presence without it getting creepy and stalkerish.

 

[EmmAgain]

Ooh - I like the premise! But it’s going to hard bringing in the ‘watcher’ without getting Stephen King vibes.

Will she be in the first person?

 

[MelissaBaby]

Maybe if you let the reader know she’s aware that she’s being “stalked” but shows no concern, it could add another layer of mystery. In addition to “who is he?” And “why is he following her?” You also have “why isn’t she afraid?”

 

[TheLobster]

Will she be in the first person?

I don't think that'd work in first person. She'd have to notice the alleged stalker and yet remain unconcerned, which would seem crazy. You need an outside perspective to depict both and maintain the mystery, like Melissa above said.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

I think the stalker vibe would enhance the reveal, maybe bring tension to the story as he approaches her at the end, only then breaking the tension with the reveal.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

Yeah, she's telling. Similar to Red Shoes.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

Maybe if you let the reader know she’s aware that she’s being “stalked” but shows no concern, it could add another layer of mystery. In addition to “who is he?” And “why is he following her?” You also have “why isn’t she afraid?”

Think Mike Hammer and 'The Face'.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

I think the stalker vibe would enhance the reveal, maybe bring tension to the story as he approaches her at the end, only then breaking the tension with the reveal.

Brain is training towards ... she's back home, undressed and in bed for the night ...

Bedroom door opens, shadow enters. There is a presence in bed ....


'Hi Honey, did you enjoy my show?'

 

[KittyOfSteele]

First person, partner's POV. Throw it off slightly omniscient to make him a bit of a unreliable narrator (or channel Lemony Snicket if you're feeling adventurous), make the reveal a plot twist at the end. The pronoun "I" doesn't come from the narrator until that moment.

 

[MelissaBaby]

I'm of the opinion that you can make any story idea work if you put enough thought and work into it. Good luck with it.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Lady plays a game. Gets dressed to thrill and goes out into the world, driving, shopping, whatever. Teasing, enticing, being playful and flirty. She's having a blast showing off and getting attention. In the background, someone is watching. Always there, but at a distance, only a glance or two.

It isn't until the very end, that it's revealed to be her partner. The whole day was exh/voy for both of their benefit, but he was also her sense of security in case something went bad.

Trying to figure out how to do the background presence without it getting creepy and stalkerish.

I did something vaguely analogous to this in my April Fool’s story. People hated it, despite it being called April’s Cruel Days. The clue is in the title. I have no clue what people want in an April Fool’s story…

 

[TheWritingGroup]

I tend to put a twist on ideas, so sorry if this is too far from your original.

The PoV is an actual stalker. He keeps thinking that he'll approach her now, only to notice that mysterious person (the partner) in the blue jacket there watching his target.

Finally, the two kiss and go off arm-in-arm and the stalker, defeated and realizing what's up, drifts away.

--Annie

 

[joy_of_cooking]

I like @TheWritingGroup 's idea as a story but it doesn't feel very satisfying as erotica.

 

[TheWritingGroup]

I like @TheWritingGroup 's idea as a story but it doesn't feel very satisfying as erotica.

See, you have the stalker getting more and more excited, watching Target Lady deliberately spilling wine to have an excuse to take off her top, picking up a woman in a bar, dancing with people at a club and getting groped (and groping right back). The stalker can describe his (if it's a man) cock getting hard enough to hurt, having to control his breathing, how he can't look away ....

--Annie

 

[Actingup]

Maybe if you let the reader know she’s aware that she’s being “stalked” but shows no concern, it could add another layer of mystery. In addition to “who is he?” And “why is he following her?” You also have “why isn’t she afraid?”

Maybe if (as opposed to being neutral) every time she notices the watcher, she responds with a new provocation - raising the intensity of her behaviour, as if daring him to come out of the shadows?

 

[AlexBailey]

The husband is in sales and does a lot of traveling and entertaining of clients at conferences and trade shows. The wife typically gets into her ‘game’ while the husband is out of town.

He’s scheduled for a conference this week but since he’s going to be busy entertaining clients he stays at a local 5-star hotel and doesn’t tell his wife so she won’t insist on coming to dinners or running up room service or a poolside bar tab while he’s at the conference.

The wife’s ‘game’ has her going out to the local fancy hotels and nightclubs, and yep. He spots her. He skulks around and watches her, even calling her to ‘check in’ from time to time, watching from across the lobby or wherever as she either takes or ignores his calls….

Maybe he could have a bottle of wine delivered to her table from “An interested party” or some such thing….

There could be lots of near misses, cab chases, trails of clues…

 

[SimonDoom]

This is the way I'd do it. Tell it in the first person from the voyeur's POV. Don't worry about being creepy and stalkerish. Let it be creepy. The narrator will go into exquisite detail about how he is viewing her and capturing her showing off, but the narrator doesn't reveal that he has a relationship with her until the end. Maybe she's an exhibitionist OnlyFans type model, and for most of the story you get the feeling that the narrator is a creepy subscriber and stalker, but in the end it's revealed that she knew he was there all along.

 

[Rob_Royale]

I think the stalker vibe would enhance the reveal, maybe bring tension to the story as he approaches her at the end, only then breaking the tension with the reveal.

I agree here.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

The plan is to start it when she gets out of bed that morning. The whole waking up, coffee, self-grooming and getting dressed bit. That's what gets her in the mood.

I can't do that from somebody else's point of view. If I had the partner telling that part of the tale, he would have to be in the house which takes away the mystery of The Eyes, the watcher.

He may be there watching that too, but I don't want to give that away so early.

 

[MelissaBaby]

The plan is to start it when she gets out of bed that morning. The whole waking up, coffee, self-grooming and getting dressed bit. That's what gets her in the mood.

I can't do that from somebody else's point of view. If I had the partner telling that part of the tale, he would have to be in the house which takes away the mystery of The Eyes, the watcher.

He may be there watching that too, but I don't want to give that away so early.

You can alternate POVs.

 

[KittyOfSteele]

The plan is to start it when she gets out of bed that morning. The whole waking up, coffee, self-grooming and getting dressed bit. That's what gets her in the mood.

I can't do that from somebody else's point of view. If I had the partner telling that part of the tale, he would have to be in the house which takes away the mystery of The Eyes, the watcher.

He may be there watching that too, but I don't want to give that away so early.

If you want to go for the creepy vibe that can easily be solved by having the narrator "hiding" someplace inside the house. You have no idea how many people didn't know they had squatters in their homes for the longest living with them in hiding.

Or you could use technology. Some streamers have gone online for days on Twitch, and in the adult streaming space people are getting creative. There was a cam girl whose streams happened sometimes from under the bed, which was an interesting idea. FMC could have some webcams constantly streaming so that her partner can watch from any device. These streams can be private. I won't get into the technical details, but it is not just possible, but a piece of cake.

Or switch POVs.

 

[Jorunn]

How about, the FMC goes out and puts on her voyeur show for her partner. She is horny but feels safe. She texts her partner during the evening. She sends a few texts but gets no response. “ I saw you in the shadows”. “ I saw you in the pub”. She calls him. He ran into and old friend and hasn’t seen her for 90 minutes. She wonders who was watching. And puts on a sexy show to draw him out. It turns out to be..,

 

[StillStunned]

Voyeur/stalker stories told from the POV of the voyeur or stalker work best, I think, if in their mind there's a connection. They need to feel possessive. They watch, and because of their focus they become obsessive, and they start to believe that they have a special bond with the person they're watching.

If they *do* actually have that special bond, it diminishes the effect. It's effectively the same as ending the story with, "And then they woke up and it was all a dream."

(Here's my own "disturbing as fuck" attempt at the creepy voyeur: Love at First Sight.)

 

[AG31]

Lady plays a game. Gets dressed to thrill and goes out into the world, driving, shopping, whatever. Teasing, enticing, being playful and flirty. She's having a blast showing off and getting attention. In the background, someone is watching. Always there, but at a distance, only a glance or two.

It isn't until the very end, that it's revealed to be her partner. The whole day was exh/voy for both of their benefit, but he was also her sense of security in case something went bad.

Trying to figure out how to do the background presence without it getting creepy and stalkerish.

What's wrong with it getting creepy and stalkerish? I'd think that would heighten the tension in the plot and make the reveal more revealing.

 

[Paul_Chance]

Remember, when it comes to timing, the observer does not have to be stalking (following) the FMC. Because it will be revealed that they've coordinated events at the end of the day, she (first person POV) can notice him - already in the destination, following her into the destination, leading her into the destination, exiting the destination as she arrives, and/or her seemingly selecting him at random to follow and tease.