Keeping it from your partner.

[Tangledskein]

How much do you keep from your partner, sexually? Do you let them know you post on this site, for example? Do they know you masturbate or that you are regularly on chat sites? Do you chat with AI sex bots, or take pictures of yourself for posting on a media site somewhere? Are there any kinks that you have that you feel your partner may not be receptive to?

In other words, I suppose, I am asking how free and open your conversations about sex are with your partner? Do they know, or want to know everything?

 

[Not Normal]

She knows everything she wants to know. I volunteer things, and will always answer her questions.

 

[LittleGreene]

He knows 95% of everything. There’s that 5% of internal thoughts, fantasies that I don’t vocalise with him immediately. But usually over time I share those once I’ve processed them. I’m very lucky we have an open and trust in marriage.

 

[Britva415]

I don't hide anything, but I don't throw it in her face either.

She's not interested in everything I'm into, but I have a pass to see other people. So she isn't my outlet.

Honestly, she probably thinks I do more than I really do.

 

[ClockworkCourtesan]

All of it. She is ace, no interest in intimacy of any kind. I'm hypersexual, and she despises even hints of it from like TV shows. Depressing, I know, we are in the midst of a divorce because of it.

 

[Britva415]

All of it. She is ace, no interest in intimacy of any kind. I'm hypersexual, and she despises even hints of it from like TV shows. Depressing, I know, we are in the midst of a divorce because of it.

I'm sorry to hear it. My marriage is similar, except that we have worked it out as described above.

Asexuality is real and mismatches seem common. My wife didn't know about it until years after marrying.

 

[gtnlynn]

I think my wife knows everything about my sex life, including online chats since she participates. She is the only sex partner I have ever had, so no secrets there. She does have a few sex secrets, and that's fine. I don't need to know everything or know about all the men she has been with.

 

[MH2024hot]

More open than it used to be. Revealed my masturbating to porn, phone sex, going to sex stores, got explicit about what I like and how I wanted her to watch me while I jerk off to porn models. We had some fun with it, but she's very Catholic though it's been a lot of discussing pleasure in the context of our faith. Now I'm working on revealing three way sex fantasies and for her to join in watching erotica and such. But she doesn't share on her end. So I'd like to see more of that.

 

[aliencardigan]

I don't share online or RL activities. She knows I wear panties daily and have other intimate items that are open plainly in my dresser. She has no interest and even when I tried to talk about anything sexual, it isn't welcomed so it's easier to stay shut up. Needless to say there is no sex between us sadly. We're very close and compatible on everything else so after 35 plus years not gonna throw the baby out with the bath water! I'm learning to cope without guilt.

 

[Shaglus_Ziegler]

How much do you keep from your partner, sexually? Do you let them know you post on this site, for example? Do they know you masturbate or that you are regularly on chat sites? Do you chat with AI sex bots, or take pictures of yourself for posting on a media site somewhere? Are there any kinks that you have that you feel your partner may not be receptive to?

In other words, I suppose, I am asking how free and open your conversations about sex are with your partner? Do they know, or want to know everything?

I’ve told everything.

 

[Erosfan]

My partner knows just about everything about me, sexually. She has read most of the stories I have posted here. She even shares my interests and we have had some fun times playing to our fantasies.
Life is so much fun when you can share these things with the one you love.

 

[cadman7777]

She doesn't know much at all. I have hinted at things in the bedroom just to get a reaction but it doesn't go anywhere so I keep it all to myself

 

[Erosfan]

She doesn't know much at all. I have hinted at things in the bedroom just to get a reaction but it doesn't go anywhere so I keep it all to myself

I used to be like you. I hinted, a lot and for the most part, no reaction. Now that I am older, I don't hint, I just lay it out there. It seems to be working pretty well.

 

[LMWM321]

I keep nothing from my wife. She knows that I post on Lit quite often and even has my login/ pw to track my postings, plus the occasional PM's I receive. She didn't insist on this, I did. I don't want to ever feel guilty about my postings. She's not only ok with it, she has helped me with quite a few posts, esp. those about her challenges with menopause. And she has read all of my stories before I submitted them to be published. That said, she has zero interest in coming here on her own, or creating her own content.

As for porn, she knows that I view it and she trusts that I keep my promise to never seek out porn that is misogynist, violent, or embraces any sort of non-consent. This doesn't mean that I don't occasionally happen upon it unintentionally - but when I do, I immediately move on to something else. That sort of porn holds no interest for me. My wife has zero interest in porn, but will occasionally view a clip I show her because I tell her it depicts something I'd like for us to try. Sometimes she says, yes, other times she says "sorry, that's not for me."

 

[cadman7777]

I used to be like you. I hinted, a lot and for the most part, no reaction. Now that I am older, I don't hint, I just lay it out there. It seems to be working pretty well.

I'm already older......I just don't see it happening....that's awesome for you though

 

[Man4mystery]

I kee everything from her. Porn, sites like this, how I check women out, my affair… what she doesn’t know isn’t gonna hurt her

 

[live4thebj]

She knows I was a male slut. She knows I shared a mother with friends. Actually more than one mother. But she doesn’t know I look at porn nor my incest fetish. We are completely different people.

 

[JenniferSmithJones]

When a dear friend found Literotica, and told me about it, I did two things: told the hubby, then signed up. Hubby pre-reads all my stories. I would never have considered not telling him about my involvement here. And he did not approve, at first! But at least he knew, and knew I wasn't hiding anything from him. (He had assumed this was a dating site. I showed him it has that, yes, but it's so much more! Once he was assured I wasn't looking for some rich oil millionaire to leave him for ((as if that was even remotely an option!!!)), he was ok with it. He read a few stories, and now he's hooked!)

In general, anything you don't tell your partner because they would be angry, hurt, or disappointed in you is cheating. This includes screwing your secretary or getting lunch somewhere without telling your partner because you know they wouldn't want you to be there. Different levels of betrayal between the two examples, but cheating nonetheless.

The thing about cheating is that when it is discovered, it hurts so much more than if you had just talked to your spouse first about what you need and want. That won't be an easy discussion, most likely. But a Hell of a lot better than being caught, causing all that harm, losing your partner's trust, seeing a therapist, and reconciling or divorcing.

 

[MamaBitte]

How much do you keep from your partner, sexually? (...)

almost everything now
I used to tell her a lot. Actually, everything. My fantasies and also my very specific desires. Especially my greatest desire, that she would “cheat” on me, make love to someone else. That she would at least flirt with someone else in front of me...
Of course, I have to accept that she doesn't want any of that. But she doesn't understand sexual fantasies at all. She says she's never had any. It's like talking to a blind person about colors ...
So now I've become completely silent

 

[EmmAgain]

I’m free and open with my husband about stuff that’s happened since we’ve been together - obv including other men and women, since I only do that with his approval.

I don’t really talk about stuff before we got together as he’s asked me not to. I haven’t told him that I’m trying to write a memoir and post here, as it often involves people and situations from way before we met.

 

[leftwantingmore]

In general, anything you don't tell your partner because they would be angry, hurt, or disappointed in you is cheating.

No truer statement has ever been spoken. I had two wives who did not understand this. My third lived by it. As I always did. Why would you even thinking about doing something you know would hurt the one you love? It hurts deep and for a long time. Thank You for saying that.