Help please, my boyfriend and I love sex but about 70% of the time he loses his erection before we can have sex. Any advice on what to do. He has seen a doctor and the doctor said he was just nervous about pleasuring his partner and pregancy. Help, we are tired of being hot and horny and soft!
Keeping an Erection
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I sympathize
I sometimes have the same problem. It can become a visous cycle-- nervous (or something) so lose erection --> performance anxiety --> nervous --> lose erection, etc
I'm good to go for foreplay, mutual masturbation, everything else, but when it comes time to do the deed, it sometimes gets a bit flaccid.
VERY frustrating!!! (For both of us!)
I sometimes have the same problem. It can become a visous cycle-- nervous (or something) so lose erection --> performance anxiety --> nervous --> lose erection, etc
I'm good to go for foreplay, mutual masturbation, everything else, but when it comes time to do the deed, it sometimes gets a bit flaccid.
VERY frustrating!!! (For both of us!)
Ram Unreal
Really Experienced
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- May 12, 2002
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- 162
Tell him, or assure him:
It is common, but it is defeatable. It's merely a different way of thinking. You have to let go your performance concerns and just enjoy the love.
There's no hurry to prove yourself, don't ever think that. You're a fantastic person with a fantastic girlfriend that isn't waiting for you to prove youself.
There is no pressure, there is just the wonderful bond we have together.
Once he's thinking more about loving you and less about how you perceive him then things could very well improve.
It is common, but it is defeatable. It's merely a different way of thinking. You have to let go your performance concerns and just enjoy the love.
There's no hurry to prove yourself, don't ever think that. You're a fantastic person with a fantastic girlfriend that isn't waiting for you to prove youself.
There is no pressure, there is just the wonderful bond we have together.
Once he's thinking more about loving you and less about how you perceive him then things could very well improve.
Titania1616
Literotica Guru
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- Jun 27, 2002
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- 593
you could try a cock ring, ive heard those work great!
Titania1616
Literotica Guru
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- Jun 27, 2002
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sorry amfig, must have missed your post, oops!
StevenWill
Really Really Experienced
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- Jan 21, 2001
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common problem
Yours is a common problem. First, realize that erections come and go and that is natural. The problem people have is that they start to worry when they lose an erection and the worry makes it hard to get it back. Try this. Have her give your oral sex until you are very hard. Then have her get on top of you while you are hard. If you lose the erection, have her stimulate you with her hand until you are hard again. You will learn to get and lose an erection and that will take some of the worry out of it. When you do this, realize that it is not a test of your worth. You are not your erection. Make the situation non demand and just play with getting the erection, inserting it in the vagina and, if you lose it, get it back and repeat. In a comfortable situation where you are not worrying and she is there to support you, you may solve this problem easily. In some cases there are more deep seated problems to resolve, but I don't know exactly what your situation is.
The most important thing is to talk about it with her and have her help you.
Good luck.
Steve
Yours is a common problem. First, realize that erections come and go and that is natural. The problem people have is that they start to worry when they lose an erection and the worry makes it hard to get it back. Try this. Have her give your oral sex until you are very hard. Then have her get on top of you while you are hard. If you lose the erection, have her stimulate you with her hand until you are hard again. You will learn to get and lose an erection and that will take some of the worry out of it. When you do this, realize that it is not a test of your worth. You are not your erection. Make the situation non demand and just play with getting the erection, inserting it in the vagina and, if you lose it, get it back and repeat. In a comfortable situation where you are not worrying and she is there to support you, you may solve this problem easily. In some cases there are more deep seated problems to resolve, but I don't know exactly what your situation is.
The most important thing is to talk about it with her and have her help you.
Good luck.
Steve
alwayswanted
Experienced
- Joined
- May 24, 2002
- Posts
- 61
funny because i have sex once and i brought her to orgasim twice, once while fingering her second by fucking her, but...........this thing is i never came, so if anyone knows why please tell me
