Keep using the same words, damn it...

[evanslily]

I'm pretty sure I can't be the only person this happens to. So has anyone got advice on how to fix it?

It seems that while I'm writing, I get fixated on using the same words, or same expressions. 'He rolled his eyes' seemed to be a particular favourite of mine for a while. I had to go back and fix a whole load of those. And now I've noticed that I seem to favour the word 'sweep'. Or 'swept', 'sweeping', etc. And I've got a horrible feeling that there'll be others that suddenly start shouting at me from the page.

I know that getting someone else to read my work before I post might help but is there anything I can do first? For example, is there any software that can spot repetition of words? Help me sweep them up so I can substitute something else?

Any help gratefully appreciated! It's driving me crazy!

Lily

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Depending upon the frequency, it's usually not a problem. The thing you really need to watch out for is: he, she, him and her. Those are just maddening.

After a while you get the hang of it, Lily. It really helps to read the story after it's written, set it asside for a few days then go back and reread with a red pencil. You'll find you've written these duplication, indefinate pronoun references and all kinds of things you didn't realize the first time through.

 

[palisa]

If you google on <word frequency software> you'll get some hits for free and trial versions of software that gives you a list of the most frequently used words in a document.

I've not tried them, and I don't know how sophisticated they (especially the free versions) are about letting you omit words like and, the, etc. You may have to do a bit of digging in the output to find the words that you think you repeat too often.

 

[evanslily]

Oooh...

Thanks Palisa and Jenny. I've found a free site that counts word frequency--not sure if I'm allowed to put a link so I won't--let me know if I can. I got it to look for my top 50 most frequently used words. You can stop the software from counting 'the' and 'it', etc. And here's some of what I got for my latest chapter, submitted yesterday. It's a first person story with lots of dialogue so some of it's forgiveable, though 32 uses of 'back' and 28 instances of 'just' seem a bit excessive for a 7000 word chapter. Hmm...

I 37
back 32
don’t 29
luke 28
just 28
said 27
get 25
i’d 24
know 24
gave 23
look 23
want 22
arm 21
hand 21
over 20
you 20
think 20

 

[sr71plt]

You don't have to install a fancy program for phrases you know you are prone to use too often. Just do a "find" on the those phrases (or a word) in your wordprocessing system.

 

[tickledkitty]

I use the word slid and slide and sliding much too frequently. I will go through and change one or two to slipped or swept or dragged or whatever, but I still feel like slid is the most accurate word.

 

[mjl2010]

I seem to use "He nodded" or "she nodded" a lot. I go back and find them, change most of them to something else.

If I didn't, my dialog would sound like some valley girl from the eighties.

"Oooh My God!" she nodded, "Your cock's 12 inches long!"

Uh huh. I go back and look for stuff like that.

What did writers do when they used typewriters instead of word processors?

MJL

 

[mejau71]

Evanslily,

Honey, I know exactly what you mean… I’ve been there, and am currently there right now. What I do (as what Jenny wrote) is set it aside for a few days, then go back in and ravage it with my red pen…

But what I also do is give a lot of thought to what the word is trying to accomplish, meaning that, for example, “Her tongue lovingly swabbed Beth’s face with long, generous strokes.” So say I don’t like the word ‘swab’, and want something more illustrative and thought provoking… I first use the online thesaurus (Word’s is okay, but the online one is far better IMHO) and see what their suggested words are… sometimes, I see other words used and that can spark another idea or concept altogether.

Just an idea. Good luck, sweetie…

Peace and Love,

~Mimi

 

[evanslily]

You don't have to install a fancy program for phrases you know you are prone to use too often. Just do a "find" on the those phrases (or a word) in your wordprocessing system.

The trouble is, sr, I don't always notice I'm doing it. It's only when I'm re-reading, sometimes weeks later, that those pesky repeated phrases start slapping me in the face. Guess I'm just not patient enough to wait, LOL.

 

[MarshAlien]

I think that what you really need is an editor or even a second reader. If they're really that annoying, a reader who approaches the story fresh will be able to tell you. It may be that what you see as annoying, others see as part of your character's makeup, and aren't bothered by the seeming repetition the way you are.

 

[evanslily]

I use the word slid and slide and sliding much too frequently. I will go through and change one or two to slipped or swept or dragged or whatever, but I still feel like slid is the most accurate word.

Oh yeah!

Slid is such a good word. And slide, etc. That's one of my trouble-makers, for sure. And you're right, substituting 'slip', etc just isn't quite the same. Still, I s'pose we should be grateful that English has lots of different words for the same thing. I'd hate it if I had to write in a language where there was only one way of saying something.

Yep, I agree, MJL, 'nodded' is another one... She 'inclined her head' doesn't quite cut it, does it?

And of course, you're right Mimi. I loved my thesaurus when I first started out in writing, and I do still take a look from time to time. But generally I find that the first word I think of usually the one that fits best--even if that means I have to go back and change that word in the previous paragraph. Grrr...

All part of the fun, I guess.

Thanks for all your replies

Lily

 

[evanslily]

I think that what you really need is an editor or even a second reader. If they're really that annoying, a reader who approaches the story fresh will be able to tell you. It may be that what you see as annoying, others see as part of your character's makeup, and aren't bothered by the seeming repetition the way you are.

That did occur to me. I must admit I was kind of reassured after I did the word counter thing. Must get me an editor, though. Just another thing to stick on the to do list!

Thanks Marsh

 

[MarshAlien]

That did occur to me. I must admit I was kind of reassured after I did the word counter thing. Must get me an editor, though. Just another thing to stick on the to do list!

Thanks Marsh

So, all the chicks in your stories still walking around knickerless?

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

I do too much of "then" and "and".

 

[elfin_odalisque]

BTW I think slither and slippery can go with slip and slide.

I think you are worrying too much. Your list is packed full of simple, workaday words that you would expect to appear a lot. If you write in first person, 'I' is naturally going to have a pretty high count, but similarly 'give','and', 'then', 'also' etc.

A lot of readers object to changing words. If a pussy becomes 'a sex' or 'a cunt', this can jar and put people off. Also, I really don't like your example of 'nodded'. As far as possible try and avoid adding tags to dialogue. If you need to give guidance as to who is talking - bit like stage directions;

Jack walked behind the sofa and glared at Jill. 'I will never forgive you for what you've done to me.'

Otherwise the good soldier 'said' is always at hand and ready to serve. 'Nodded' is not an appropriate tag for dialogue.

The bit to avoid is using adjectives, adverbs, adjectival and adverbial clauses too close together. As someone said, this is usually best spotted by a later review or a 'beta' reader.

What I mean, as a poor example, is : 'His slippery cock slid into her slippery sheath' -bad. 'His glistening cock slid into her sex slicked pussy' better.

 

[MarshAlien]

As someone said, this is usually best spotted by a later review or a 'beta' reader.

yeah, someone might have said that.

 

[sr71plt]

I do too much of "then" and "and".

I do too much "now."

 

[evanslily]

So, all the chicks in your stories still walking around knickerless?

Well... no. That proved a stretch too far. My latest heroine had to put some on eventually, poor thing. She was getting cold

 

[evanslily]

I really don't like your example of 'nodded'. As far as possible try and avoid adding tags to dialogue. If you need to give guidance as to who is talking - bit like stage directions;

I agree. You can't nod a sentence. (Well, maybe in morse code, p'raps. Or if you're Steven Hawkins...)

 

[MarshAlien]

Well... no. That proved a stretch too far. My latest heroine had to put some on eventually, poor thing. She was getting cold

Oh. See, I was going to volunteer to read your stories, but...

 

[sr71plt]

'His glistening cock slid into her sex slicked pussy' better.

And "His glistening cock slid into her sex-slicked pussy" is bestest.

Although even here, I'd probably go with a word like "channel" that went better with the image--completing the image of a vessel sliding down the ways. "Pussy" is jarring to me with the rest of the image here.

 

[evanslily]

Oh. See, I was going to volunteer to read your stories, but...

Damn...

 

[mjl2010]

Otherwise the good soldier 'said' is always at hand and ready to serve. 'Nodded' is not an appropriate tag for dialogue.

I agree for the most part. I tend to do it though and have to go back and clean them up. Mostly because I can't type as fast I can think. So I get it all down, conveying the basic thoughts and actions first. Then I fix it all once it's down.

I'd change

Mark nodded, "Nice nipples Peggy."

To

Mark nodded thoughtfully as he said, "You have lovely green nipples my sexy Irish lass. Are those your natural color or did you dye them that way for St. Patrick's day?"

Peggy giggled and covered her mouth with her hand to hide her mirth. "Silly man. Of course those are their natural color. They taste like mint too. Want to taste them?"

As far as correct or not, I was taught and of course could be wrong, but any action that occurs at the same time as dialog may be used as a tag or to describe the mood, action or emotion of the speaker.

Leaving out dialog tags may be fine for a two person conversation, but unless each person addresses each other formally and uses their name, it becomes confusing if you have more than two or three people talking. The good soldier "said" as in ("Nice nipples," Mark said.) does make things clearer. Readers tend to skip the actual words, noting only the character speaking.

MJL

 

[evanslily]

And "His glistening cock slid into her sex-slicked pussy" is bestest.

Although even here, I'd probably go with a word like "channel" that went better with the image--completing the image of a vessel sliding down the ways. "Pussy" is jarring to me with the rest of the image here.

Now you see, the word 'channel' is really jarring to me. I don't have a channel! But I guess to me that's because I'm thinking English Channel. So you tell me I've got a channel and I'm thinking childbirth...

Yeah, I get the vessel analogy, but is your cock a vessel?

I quite understand if you choose not to answer that

 

[elfin_odalisque]

yeah, someone might have said that.

I keep forgetting you're omniscient, omnipotent - or is it just potent.


A thousand lashes for Elle and I promise to say 'Thank you Master Marsh as I count each one.