Just lonely and in a sexless marriage

[blksoldier]

well I sometimes go through the same situation but one day we had discussion that lasted until the wee hours in the morning. we solved a few things but one thing i realized is to never stop pursuing and to communicate another thing that I realized is that men are physical and women are internal emotional things are getting better but we have a long way to go.

 

[kyno1975]

Hi guys and girls,

I always had a really healthy sex life and a few years ago it started to change. So, I was the one who didn't wanted to have sex. It was so bad that I told ny husband to go to a prostitute. It's legal here. But he said no. Because I was sick of not wanting and didn't get why I didn't want to. I went to the doctor. Got some tests and it turned out that I had a volleyball size tumor on my ovary. I had an operation and got extra treatment. I fuck his brains out now and it is him who says that he is tired

So make sure you that you get your body checked out.

 

[raceryz]

Hi guys and girls,

I always had a really healthy sex life and a few years ago it started to change. So, I was the one who didn't wanted to have sex. It was so bad that I told ny husband to go to a prostitute. It's legal here. But he said no. Because I was sick of not wanting and didn't get why I didn't want to. I went to the doctor. Got some tests and it turned out that I had a volleyball size tumor on my ovary. I had an operation and got extra treatment. I fuck his brains out now and it is him who says that he is tired

So make sure you that you get your body checked out.

Good thinking on your part. Hope all is well

 

[kyno1975]

Good thinking on your part. Hope all is well

Yeah, everything is great. Thanks for thinking about that. And i am getting a bit more action online now. My man is happy as well. He doesn't need to lay down when he gets from work to please me

 

[And4778]

Good for you. I'm assuming you are in Nevada?

 

[blksoldier]

Good thinking on your part. Hope all is well

I am glad that you went to the doctor and i hope everything is well. the difference a day makes huh? most men would love to have his problem. just keep on

 

[kyno1975]

There is a difference between a healthy appetite and just horny 24 hours. Maybe its my body s way of making up lost time
I must say that i never lost that intimacy. So just a cuddle and a kiss. I think people underestimate how important these little things are. Without it, its living with your sibling and thats not bad if its your kink

 

[Hmm72]

Hi guys and girls,

I always had a really healthy sex life and a few years ago it started to change. So, I was the one who didn't wanted to have sex. It was so bad that I told ny husband to go to a prostitute. It's legal here. But he said no. Because I was sick of not wanting and didn't get why I didn't want to. I went to the doctor. Got some tests and it turned out that I had a volleyball size tumor on my ovary. I had an operation and got extra treatment. I fuck his brains out now and it is him who says that he is tired

So make sure you that you get your body checked out.

Holy shit wow glad you are lucky enough to checked it out…could have been a lot worse…

 

[marriedandlonely46]

I have been married a long time. I get that people can grow apart. It certainly has happened in my marriage. My wife has no interest in sex or intimacy. It has been over a year. I get that, in that I am certainly not the man I was in my 20's. In 30 or so years we all change.

But I have needs that shee seems to not care about. We talk about it, and she gets it, but she never wants to address it physically, or in any manner that would make me feel like her husband or even a man. I am not sure what to do.

My life now is all masturbation in terms of intimacy. I still have a strong libido. What I do not still have is my 30 year old self. I feel that if you are in love at 30 you can also be in love at 50 or older, but you cannot expect that 30 year old man and body you were into........we grow older, and our love should too.

So I am lonely and depressed. I have to get myself off, but it is getting harder to do as i am not only feeling bitter, but really abnormal and guilty. Online pictures, videos, and stories have become my intimate life. Maybe I need to give into that.....I don't know. But I am looking for anything that would help.

Thanks!

I hear you! Same boat here!

 

[LovelyLadyBits]

As I read all of these posts, at least I know I am not alone. Been with my wife for 19 years this coming may. We have been married 14 years this September. Unfortunately over the past few years, actually since we had our second child almost 6 years ago, this have been slowly getting worse. Now it's been like 10 months since we have had sex. Intimacy really doesn't exist anymore. I do love her and we are not that old. I am 45 and she just hit 40. I feel like we should still have it, but we don't. If I am being honest some of it might be my fault, as I stopped sleeping in the same room, I moved into the guest room about 2 years ago, but only because I have sleeping problems, and she does snore loudly and I can't sleep. I have tried headphones, and ear plugs to try to help, but after about a week it really hurts my ears. I would love to be able to sleep with her again, but it's very difficult, unless I take a lot of sleeping meds about an hour or two before bed to just pass out, but that's not very healthy. I am starting to get to the point of really not giving a shit anymore but I want to stay together if not just for my kids sake. Sorry for the long post, but I needed to rant/

As I read all of these posts, at least I know I am not alone. Been with my wife for 19 years this coming may. We have been married 14 years this September. Unfortunately over the past few years, actually since we had our second child almost 6 years ago, this have been slowly getting worse. Now it's been like 10 months since we have had sex. Intimacy really doesn't exist anymore. I do love her and we are not that old. I am 45 and she just hit 40. I feel like we should still have it, but we don't. If I am being honest some of it might be my fault, as I stopped sleeping in the same room, I moved into the guest room about 2 years ago, but only because I have sleeping problems, and she does snore loudly and I can't sleep. I have tried headphones, and ear plugs to try to help, but after about a week it really hurts my ears. I would love to be able to sleep with her again, but it's very difficult, unless I take a lot of sleeping meds about an hour or two before bed to just pass out, but that's not very healthy. I am starting to get to the point of really not giving a shit anymore but I want to stay together if not just for my kids sake. Sorry for the long post, but I needed to rant/vent.

Well now I feel sad

 

[TantiPanti]

I am in the same boat. Both in our 40s. He will not initiate anything at all. He will only lie there like a dead fish. He says he wants to but shows no excitement. So I find myself solo more often then not. I feel unattractive, boring and im just a mom now. But I am so much more. I am fun and playful. He just isn't into it anymore.

 

[cadman7777]

I am in the same boat. Both in our 40s. He will not initiate anything at all. He will only lie there like a dead fish. He says he wants to but shows no excitement. So I find myself solo more often then not. I feel unattractive, boring and im just a mom now. But I am so much more. I am fun and playful. He just isn't into it anymore.

I feel that....it's all pretty predictable when it happens and not very exciting now at all

 

[Abeona1]

Was reading this, this morning. In same situation. Why do we stay. Tried to talking to him at weekend. Like you say it's flatmates or homelessness. I care about him, he smells amazing, best kisser, amazing hands likes going down on me sporadically. Otherwise nothing. Do you think there is a site somewhere where all our partners say how lucky they feel not to be pressured into sex but guilty at the same time. What are we doing we need our heads knocking together. I'm missing out on caresses, affection kissing before we even start on sex. I am absolutely fuming

 

[And4778]

I wish I could help

 

[boxman11]

Was reading this, this morning. In same situation. Why do we stay. Tried to talking to him at weekend. Like you say it's flatmates or homelessness. I care about him, he smells amazing, best kisser, amazing hands likes going down on me sporadically. Otherwise nothing. Do you think there is a site somewhere where all our partners say how lucky they feel not to be pressured into sex but guilty at the same time. What are we doing we need our heads knocking together. I'm missing out on caresses, affection kissing before we even start on sex. I am absolutely fuming

I believe the longer it goes on the more distance I'm beginning to feel about my wife. Like you I'm missing the affection and I'm thinking about find a FWB to help me out.

 

[Abeona1]

I'm thinking of moving to usa

 

[KeenVoyeur]

I am in the same boat. Both in our 40s. He will not initiate anything at all. He will only lie there like a dead fish. He says he wants to but shows no excitement. So I find myself solo more often then not. I feel unattractive, boring and im just a mom now. But I am so much more. I am fun and playful. He just isn't into it anymore.

Was reading this, this morning. In same situation. Why do we stay. Tried to talking to him at weekend. Like you say it's flatmates or homelessness. I care about him, he smells amazing, best kisser, amazing hands likes going down on me sporadically. Otherwise nothing. Do you think there is a site somewhere where all our partners say how lucky they feel not to be pressured into sex but guilty at the same time. What are we doing we need our heads knocking together. I'm missing out on caresses, affection kissing before we even start on sex. I am absolutely fuming

As a man in a sexless marriage of his own making (I had a fling with a woman my wife doesn't like and when she found out, I was given the "You can stay but don't expect anything from me" ultimatum) I'm obviously not loving life but there has to be some blame laid at my wife's feet in that she wasn't particularly active in the "bedroom department" - yeah, blame the menopause, maybe her health and body issues, and definitely blame me for not actually talking about it ...

I would still like to think I could find a FWB - I'm past caring if my wife finds out and chucks me out this time - but there isn't a local directory or a Facebook page where people can go to find someone ... and to read about women whose husbands have lost interest makes me wish there was such a place. Somewhere like-minded people could hook up for some mutual pleasure occasionally - did anything ever replace Craigslist?

 

[Southernscot21]

I am in the same boat. Both in our 40s. He will not initiate anything at all. He will only lie there like a dead fish. He says he wants to but shows no excitement. So I find myself solo more often then not. I feel unattractive, boring and im just a mom now. But I am so much more. I am fun and playful. He just isn't into it anymore.

Would love to hear more about you if you don’t mind

 

[Abeona1]

As a man in a sexless marriage of his own making (I had a fling with a woman my wife doesn't like and when she found out, I was given the "You can stay but don't expect anything from me" ultimatum) I'm obviously not loving life but there has to be some blame laid at my wife's feet in that she wasn't particularly active in the "bedroom department" - yeah, blame the menopause, maybe her health and body issues, and definitely blame me for not actually talking about it ...

I would still like to think I could find a FWB - I'm past caring if my wife finds out and chucks me out this time - but there isn't a local directory or a Facebook page where people can go to find someone ... and to read about women whose husbands have lost interest makes me wish there was such a place. Somewhere like-minded people could hook up for some mutual pleasure occasionally - did anything ever replace Craigslist?

What part of the east coast. I have an itch that you might be able to scratch

 

[Southernscot21]

What part of the east coast. I have an itch that you might be able to scratch

I’d gladly scratch it for you as well. I’m in GA

 

[Abeona1]

As a man in a sexless marriage of his own making (I had a fling with a woman my wife doesn't like and when she found out, I was given the "You can stay but don't expect anything from me" ultimatum) I'm obviously not loving life but there has to be some blame laid at my wife's feet in that she wasn't particularly active in the "bedroom department" - yeah, blame the menopause, maybe her health and body issues, and definitely blame me for not actually talking about it ...

I would still like to think I could find a FWB - I'm past caring if my wife finds out and chucks me out this time - but there isn't a local directory or a Facebook page where people can go to find someone ... and to read about women whose husbands have lost interest makes me wish there was such a place. Somewhere like-minded people could hook up for some mutual pleasure occasionally - did anything ever replace Craigslist?

Must of been something wrong for you to go looking

 

[Scorch_1990]

I have been married a long time. I get that people can grow apart. It certainly has happened in my marriage. My wife has no interest in sex or intimacy. It has been over a year. I get that, in that I am certainly not the man I was in my 20's. In 30 or so years we all change.

But I have needs that shee seems to not care about. We talk about it, and she gets it, but she never wants to address it physically, or in any manner that would make me feel like her husband or even a man. I am not sure what to do.

My life now is all masturbation in terms of intimacy. I still have a strong libido. What I do not still have is my 30 year old self. I feel that if you are in love at 30 you can also be in love at 50 or older, but you cannot expect that 30 year old man and body you were into........we grow older, and our love should too.

So I am lonely and depressed. I have to get myself off, but it is getting harder to do as i am not only feeling bitter, but really abnormal and guilty. Online pictures, videos, and stories have become my intimate life. Maybe I need to give into that.....I don't know. But I am looking for anything that would help.

Thanks!

Same here. Been together 15 years, it was a lot of sex at first. Then after our daughter was born 8 years ago, all sex completely stopped. She started wearing pj’s to bed and always tells me to take care of my needs myself or go find someone else to do it.

 

[KeenVoyeur]

Must of been something wrong for you to go looking

I think Mrs KV would blame the menopause and me for not talking to her about everything rather than expecting her to turn it on like a tap ... I guess I took the easy route and the "other woman" had no qualms about us meeting for sex - she was divorced and probably wanted cock as much as I wanted pussy

What part of the east coast. I have an itch that you might be able to scratch

Without being too specific, I'm on the south of a big river with a rather long suspension bridge across it

 

[And4778]

Jersey girl ?

 

[JesseWallace]

I’m in the same boat as many people here, but for us it was almost from the beginning as we were good Christian kids who were waiting until we got married …

You see, my wife had been abused by her uncle when she was younger. I didn’t know this at first, and everything seemed to be fine in terms of making out and more. We did practically everything shy of having sex, but then her uncle reappeared on the scene (apparently a changed man) and we were pressured to invite him to the wedding.

That night when the moment finally arrived, we couldn’t do it. She said I was too big (and that’s a lovely compliment in theory) but the truth is she was so nervous and clenched up that I never stood a chance. We tried a few times without luck, so we’d make out and she’d finish me off. Eventually that started to fade away as she didn’t like the transactional nature of it (and didn’t want me returning the favour) so our intimacy trailed off until even passionate kissing was off the cards in case it led somewhere.

25 years on, my libido remains as strong as ever (it’s amazing what deprivation can do to you) but we’re still married and otherwise happy. Admittedly it’s a huge thing to be lacking - and intimacy is so much more than just sex - but we align so much in other key ways that I would never leave.

Instead, I wish I could find a friend who I could enjoy that with … almost like someone you go to the movies with or share another hobby in common. Someone with equal needs who would like some added intimacy in their lives and to share that with someone else who cares. I’m happy for it to be virtual as well since that’s a safer and easier option for many of us … I just want to share the experience with someone, rather than it just being me (or them) completely alone in our lack.

I hope I haven’t over shared too much.