Just lonely and in a sexless marriage

[And4778]

Well.... sometimes a guy has to do what a guy has to do

 

[Hawktalon]

I was married for 20 yrs. It got to where there was very little sex after yr 10. Last 5 yrs, there was no contact. 1 month after our 20th anny, she hit me with divorce. She had started talkin to other guys. After learnin a few things here and there, it was me that she didnt wanna have sex with, nothing with any other issue. Never cheated on her. Didnt want anyone else. So guys goin thru this, there may be other things at hand.

 

[gaindianguy4u]

Been there. Welcome to the club. Take action. YOLO

 

[boxman11]

It has been around 5 years now for me since my wife and I had sex. To be fair, I had open heart surgery back in 2020 and things did not work the same for a while. Fast forward to 2025 I have lost 25-pounds workout three days a week and things are working again, however, not in our bedroom. My sex life is masturbating to porn, I miss the intimacy in the physical touch of a women.

 

[LoveOlderLove]

Sorry to hear this from all of you. I hope you all get some pussy or dick sooner than later! (What ever you are into )

 

[Worzel550]

As a female in the same position it is not good my husband would rather play golf any day - he looks after and provides no problem but in the bedroom unfortunately very little

I'm same but she doesn't play golf, just uninterested in sex.

 

[Bianca66]

I wouldn't know even where to find that

talk to me PM

 

[ChicagoR85]

That would be nice but would mean you would have to come in the club also. I will be awhile in there

@JodyLynn can you share your favorite swinger club or clubs? You can PM me too.

 

[Greyhawk62]

Same boat…now I’m Bi curious and particularly turned on by very fem men, twinks and CDs.

 

[Tx_Sammy]

Sadly, it doesn’t always take 20 years. We have not even hit the 10 year mark, and due to mental health issues, I’m lucky if my wife feels in the mood two or three times a year. It’s not zero, but at this point if largely even stopped trying to initiate.

 

[BeepMahoney]

It can be lonely and painful and feel like there’s no solution. Let me know if you want to talk about it.

 

[stoxy]

Same here only been married 2 years and last time we had sex was our wedding night
Bi male 49

 

[JohnS3]

I'll throw my input here. Different from others but in some ways similar.

Married 4+ decades. Wife has never initiated sex but we would both enjoy it if I started the ball rolling. Then 6 years ago she had a hysterectomy and it no longer is pleasurable for me when I'm inside her. It isn't uncomfortable but the anatomy has changed and it doesn't give me anything now.
She will be able to climax a few times when she is on top but no position will get me there.

I did ask about trying anal but got shot down immediately.

So I just have some memories (she was the naked wife under a raincoat a few decades ago) and my right hand.

 

[PMarky2]

Then 6 years ago she had a hysterectomy and it no longer is pleasurable for me when I'm inside her. It isn't uncomfortable but the anatomy has changed and it doesn't give me anything now.

Yes, my wife's hysterectomy was a turning point in that it removed about half of what bit of desire she had left, and the anatomy changed. Until the autoimmune stuff started, she had no problem accommodating me, but now I stretch her too far, and am too long. So, it is back to occasional oral sex, which is worse than dating the not-so-nice little Evangelical girls at college because they at least wanted to get off every chance they got.

 

[And4778]

Damm. I just figured mine hates me

 

[MamaBitte]

Same here. To be honest it's my fault als well as hers.

 

[satanicbubblegum]

It was my wife's declining health is that put the kibosh on our sexual relationship. It has been about seven years since we were last able to have a normal sexual relationship, but up until about a year ago, there was the outside chance that she would try. The attempt ended in disappointment for both of us, so even that disappeared over time. I wish her health would improve, or she would give me permission for an FWB - which would difficult in itself as I am a bit fussy. I am stuck feeling that I have only so many good years left, and I am not going to have the pleasuring of satisfying a woman again. It sucks big time, especially when I have very little to keep my mind off it.

when you mean fussy? what are you fussy about?

 

[satanicbubblegum]

you guys!!! come on! Listen!! here's what you need to do! Reserve a dinner a their favorite restaurant. (They don't have one?? So what...pick one...you got this champ!) Start playing the cheesiest song you can think of (radar love-golden earring, I got you babe-Sonny & Cher, can't get no satisfaction- rolling stones etc) REALLY loud on your phone and start doing a silly dance to whereever they are, grab them and just start dancing with them, twirl them around, tickling them, blowing raspberries on their neck etc. (basically...anything silly....to make them laugh).

Then? Go in for the kill! That deep passionate kiss and say you missed that and them...take them by the hand and lead them into the bedroom. (If you are all ready IN the bedroom even better )

Tell them about the dinner reservation you made and that you are excited to spend time with them because (again) you miss them. (then kiss them again).

Maybe all you guys need is that little extra spark back....and its call...*whispers* romance.

p.s (ladies...guys like it too ever once in awhile).

 

[PMarky2]

when you mean fussy? what are you fussy about?

I am almost exclusively drawn to skinny geek/nerd girls, and the grown up versions thereof. I have never quite worked out why I am drawn to tall, slim clever women as the usual preferred female type in my family is practical, short and curvy women. Guess I am rebelling against dad and grandad's preferences.

 

[satanicbubblegum]

makes sense...opposite attract...or so says Paula Abdul

 

[Rocky_Balboa]

Me too.
Took care of her, pretty much her whole adult life. Bought her vehicles (that she kept destroying), etc. etc.

Then her aunt dies, leaves her money and a house, and she leaves and takes me kids (which she never took care of in life).

I quit trying with her forever ago, because she never did. I wasted a lifetime on her, and sex ONLY ever happened when I initiated. Even then, it was all me.
My hand became the better choice, easily.

 

[And4778]

Could be worse. Where are you

 

[Rocky_Balboa]

It could always be worse. Cleveland.

 

[And4778]

I wish you luck

 

[Rocky_Balboa]

Thank you.