Just lonely and in a sexless marriage

[Bisexguy70]

As a female in the same position it is not good my husband would rather play golf any day - he looks after and provides no problem but in the bedroom unfortunately very little

He says hes out playing golf. Ive been with a few guys who said they used that excuse. He may be out getting bjs from other men/CDs or woman.

 

[ned63]

As a female in the same position it is not good my husband would rather play golf any day - he looks after and provides no problem but in the bedroom unfortunately very little

Same here no sex from the wife. I provide everything but no sex in reture.

 

[lacandy]

Same here no sex from the wife. I provide everything but no sex in reture.

I was coming here to say that I think a lot of men here I think probably believe it’s just the men in this situation…but it happens on the women’s side too. I’ve lost count of the years (yes, I said YEARS) since I’ve had someone physically touch me.
BUT, this comment kind of made my eye twitch…”no sex in return” - As a woman, I can give a small piece of advice, expected sex is never going to be good or enjoyable sex. I see men who post that they’ve tried talking, taking their wife out, wining and dining, etc…and nothing working and that I can respect, but the expectation of sex because you contribute to your life together? I think I may have found your problem. (Maybe I read that wrong? Maybe I’m jaded from being here for so long? I hope that’s the case…)

 

[pleasedoit4me]

I never expected sex from my wife. When we were younger we planned times to have sex. That was primarily due to busy schedules with kids, etc. However the planned sex has long gone and spontaneity has also been gone for a long time along with her interest in sex. I don’t think this is specifically a male issue as I think a lot of older couples have this issue.

Same here....I just miss it. Now it is a dead bedroom and a roommate life

 

[ShooterMcGavin001]

I was coming here to say that I think a lot of men here I think probably believe it’s just the men in this situation…but it happens on the women’s side too. I’ve lost count of the years (yes, I said YEARS) since I’ve had someone physically touch me.
BUT, this comment kind of made my eye twitch…”no sex in return” - As a woman, I can give a small piece of advice, expected sex is never going to be good or enjoyable sex. I see men who post that they’ve tried talking, taking their wife out, wining and dining, etc…and nothing working and that I can respect, but the expectation of sex because you contribute to your life together? I think I may have found your problem. (Maybe I read that wrong? Maybe I’m jaded from being here for so long? I hope that’s the case…)

Very true. Expectation is a sex killer. Just be your cool thoughtful self, have confidence, take care of yourself. Mutual respect is key. There’s more to it than that, of course but those are good places to start.

 

[Olderwiserstillhorny]

When your significant other is battling health issues, it becomes a long, boring, depressed day. Driving her to doctor appointments, doing the shopping, and other chores you kinda wonder why you hang on. She refuses to put any or very little into helping to do much.
Discussed this with my doctor, and was told the because of the depression and stress, sometimes the care giver is the first to go. Makes ya wonder, why I stick it out.

 

[KeenVoyeur]

I've been in a sexless marriage for over 17 years now ... mainly because I had a dalliance and got caught. The ultimatum was that I stayed and didn't lose everything but I wouldn't be allowed anywhere near her ... Joined Lit a few years ago now and it's been good for releasing some of the frustration but I do still want to meet someone to scratch my itch occasionally

 

[pleasedoit4me]

It sucks

 

[pleasedoit4me]

Very wonderful thank you!

 

[PMarky2]

I seriously hope you find some relief through me..

Those pics gave me a warm glow this cold morning. Thank you!

 

[And4778]

Wow. Could be worse guys... our hands could be broken !!!

 

[Friedfred]

I've been without for over twenty years. Been married for 49 years. I don't remember what its like and old enough now probably doesn't work.

 

[danboy2004]

I have been married a long time. I get that people can grow apart. It certainly has happened in my marriage. My wife has no interest in sex or intimacy. It has been over a year. I get that, in that I am certainly not the man I was in my 20's. In 30 or so years we all change.

But I have needs that shee seems to not care about. We talk about it, and she gets it, but she never wants to address it physically, or in any manner that would make me feel like her husband or even a man. I am not sure what to do.

My life now is all masturbation in terms of intimacy. I still have a strong libido. What I do not still have is my 30 year old self. I feel that if you are in love at 30 you can also be in love at 50 or older, but you cannot expect that 30 year old man and body you were into........we grow older, and our love should too.

So I am lonely and depressed. I have to get myself off, but it is getting harder to do as i am not only feeling bitter, but really abnormal and guilty. Online pictures, videos, and stories have become my intimate life. Maybe I need to give into that.....I don't know. But I am looking for anything that would help.

Thanks!

I now your situation

 

[66dart]

As I read all of these posts, at least I know I am not alone. Been with my wife for 19 years this coming may. We have been married 14 years this September. Unfortunately over the past few years, actually since we had our second child almost 6 years ago, this have been slowly getting worse. Now it's been like 10 months since we have had sex. Intimacy really doesn't exist anymore. I do love her and we are not that old. I am 45 and she just hit 40. I feel like we should still have it, but we don't. If I am being honest some of it might be my fault, as I stopped sleeping in the same room, I moved into the guest room about 2 years ago, but only because I have sleeping problems, and she does snore loudly and I can't sleep. I have tried headphones, and ear plugs to try to help, but after about a week it really hurts my ears. I would love to be able to sleep with her again, but it's very difficult, unless I take a lot of sleeping meds about an hour or two before bed to just pass out, but that's not very healthy. I am starting to get to the point of really not giving a shit anymore but I want to stay together if not just for my kids sake. Sorry for the long post, but I needed to rant/vent.

 

[Polranny]

I've been in a sexless marriage for over 17 years now ... mainly because I had a dalliance and got caught. The ultimatum was that I stayed and didn't lose everything but I wouldn't be allowed anywhere near her ... Joined Lit a few years ago now and it's been good for releasing some of the frustration but I do still want to meet someone to scratch my itch occasionally

I am in a very similar boat. Initially due to a momentous family row but it then it escalated, I started to go elsewhere and she got suspicious. Lit has been a blessed relief

 

[PMarky2]

It was my wife's declining health is that put the kibosh on our sexual relationship. It has been about seven years since we were last able to have a normal sexual relationship, but up until about a year ago, there was the outside chance that she would try. The attempt ended in disappointment for both of us, so even that disappeared over time. I wish her health would improve, or she would give me permission for an FWB - which would difficult in itself as I am a bit fussy. I am stuck feeling that I have only so many good years left, and I am not going to have the pleasuring of satisfying a woman again. It sucks big time, especially when I have very little to keep my mind off it.

 

[Oralexplorer]

I seriously hope you find some relief through me..

That is some serious community service spirit.

 

[trv185]

I have been married a long time. I get that people can grow apart. It certainly has happened in my marriage. My wife has no interest in sex or intimacy. It has been over a year. I get that, in that I am certainly not the man I was in my 20's. In 30 or so years we all change.

But I have needs that shee seems to not care about. We talk about it, and she gets it, but she never wants to address it physically, or in any manner that would make me feel like her husband or even a man. I am not sure what to do.

My life now is all masturbation in terms of intimacy. I still have a strong libido. What I do not still have is my 30 year old self. I feel that if you are in love at 30 you can also be in love at 50 or older, but you cannot expect that 30 year old man and body you were into........we grow older, and our love should too.

So I am lonely and depressed. I have to get myself off, but it is getting harder to do as i am not only feeling bitter, but really abnormal and guilty. Online pictures, videos, and stories have become my intimate life. Maybe I need to give into that.....I don't know. But I am looking for anything that would help.

Thanks!

We are all different. Similar situation, only I actually like to masturbate. I watch porn, masturbate, and the wife is happy. She knows I won't leave her. I don't feel empty or abandoned. Sometimes it's just necessary to make mental and emotional adjustments. Women have their emotional ups and downs in the bedroom, and sometimes that can make a man feel worse than no sex. It gets tiring. Get yourself off and stop worrying about it.

 

[pleasedoit4me]

I do all the time

 

[Milo9012]

.....

 

[naughtyishaan]

I'm not married.....but still would love to know how you guys ended up like this.

If you sre missing the flair just book a flight eith your wife come out of your child countries and spend some time in South Asian countries. Cheap snd relaxing experience.

Still would like to know your stories!!

 

[JodyLynn]

I was in the same position for well over 12 years in my marriage for many different reason all because of my husband. I chose to stay loyal to the marriage which meant pleasuring myself alone. He is now passed and released me from that commitment. For myself, I believe the safest way of creating a safe place for my physical needs is going to a swinger club. No games, just sex.

 

[And4778]

Might you need a designated driver ?

 

[JodyLynn]

Might you need a designated driver ?

That would be nice but would mean you would have to come in the club also. I will be awhile in there

 

[Oscarmeyer50]

My wife lost interest after menopause a few years ago. Of course I jack-off frequently and it is a physical relief but very hollow. We make decent room mates but I miss the intimacy. I want to stay in bed naked on Saturday morning and even just hold her and kiss her but there is no interest on her part. A few years ago she asked what I wanted for my birthday and I asked for a blowjob. She did it but there was no enthusiasm or joy or playfulness. I am seriously considering ending it and living alone. At least then there is a chance to date or not date. FWB one night a week? I am 62. I will not cheat on her.