Just joined and getting a lot of attention

[EmilyMiller]

Hi all,

This is the first thing I have posted, but I already had a bunch of guys messaging me beforehand Is this just how it goes round her?

Em

 

[LupineOne]

From what I can tell, there’s a LOT of that…however, there are plenty of decent people here too!

 

[EmilyMiller]

Some people have been nice in messages. Some not so much.

 

[LupineOne]

If you ever need someone to listen or talk to, feel free to message me.

 

[KatieDoes]

Hi all,

This is the first thing I have posted, but I already had a bunch of guys messaging me beforehand Is this just how it goes round her?

Em

Hello, and welcome!


There’s a rush of it at the the beginning… they see a new woman arrive and try to be the one that gets to you first.

You’re not at all obligated to respond to any message you receive here. You don’t have to out of politeness or for any other reason. Feel free to ignore them. You have the option to leave the conversation, and if you choose, you choose the setting that keeps you from seeing any more messages from that user (that part is good for particularly gross, rude, or pushy people)

There are genuinely good people here. Don’t let the creepers run you off. They’ll move on to the next new woman soon enough.

 

[La_Fina]

Oh, you sweet sweet summer child. It's a porn message board on the internet, of course there's gonna be randos sending you all kinds of shit.

Feel free to vent or ask for advide. I'll give it to you straight and honest, but not mean, I promise!

 

[LustyScribe]

Welcome to Lit! We do have our creepers, but like KatieDoes said, there are some good, good people here. Just be patient; the weirdo wave will pass and you'll be able to navigate. And you can always use the Ignore option to make them go away. Have fun!

 

[Bbl87]

I apologize for the weirdos.

Being female on here, you will get alot of messages I'm sure. I've messaged several people on here, male and female (though I'm purely straight) because I find them interesting and have had the same. If such messages lead to some fun talk, cool, but I try to avoid the thirsty messaging that you're probably getting.

 

[iso36]

Watch out for the people who fall over themselves to post about who to watch out for, I say.

 

[Diosax]

Probably helps if you go invisible mode.

The username is catchy too (for men) but too late to change that.

You don't even have to read msgs if you don't want to!

 

[IrisAlthea]

Probably helps if you go invisible mode

Yes, this makes a huge difference. You’ll get rid of the messages from people who message any female sounding user name online at the time.

Watch out for the people who fall over themselves to post about who to watch out for, I say.

Agreed.
I’d also like to add that when it comes to advice about things, you’ll find those who do this openly on the boards where others can see and offer other opinions and perspectives and others who only do so privately.
Sometimes there are reasons, like wanting to tell you about an experience they don’t want to announce to the world, but when it is combined with the badmouthing iso36 mentioned, it’s worth it to consider possible reasons for that behaviour.

 

[IrisAlthea]

The best advice is to not listen to advice on an anonymous internet forum.

Better to laugh at the dummies and learn from their stupidity.

Schrödinger’s advice.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

It's almost a rite of initiation for anyone with a female-sounding name. Just ignore them, block if they're upsetting. It'll soon stop.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Probably helps if you go invisible mode.

The username is catchy too (for men) but too late to change that.

You don't even have to read msgs if you don't want to!

I was going to give this same advice. Using invisible mode keeps you off the “currently online” list and keeps away the mouth breathers who just spam PM users who have female sounding usernames.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

It's almost a rite of initiation for anyone with a female-sounding name. Just ignore them, block if they're upsetting. It'll soon stop.

I don’t think it stops until invisible mode is engaged, sadly.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

I don’t think it stops until invisible mode is engaged, sadly.

YMMV, of course. I got a flood of them in the first few days. Those which were polite, I replied saying (politely) no thanks and never answered a second one. Those which were not polite I ignored or, in some cases, blocked. It stopped within a few weeks. Oh, I still get the odd one from time to time, but it's essentially history now.

As to the invisibility mode, I'm not so sure. I thought it was supposed to make it so that people cannot tell if you are online or not. That's fine, but I think that many of the comments come from posts and stories and - correct me if I'm wrong - the invisibility mode doesn't help there. One can always turn off conversations and refuse comments on one's stories, I guess.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

There’s a number of members who have zero posts who send these PMs to any female sounding username who appears to be online. I think just sending those messages is some kind of kink or fetish for them. I wouldn’t recommend appearing in that list.

Rude PMs from clueless men still happen, from folks similar to these but they lurk in the forums instead of spamming the currently online list.

IMO none of these are worthy of a reply. I’d rather never confirm for them that I’ve even read their PM as I think it’s wank fodder for them.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

You may be right about invisibility if all one wants to do is read. The instant one posts or comments or has a story published however, your name goes up.

You're right about most of the basement-dwellers. There were a couple who actually sounded kind of nice, as it this might be a place to meet people and it was those to whom I sent the thanks-but-no-thanks replies. But most of them, yes, creepy and ick and why on Earth they thought a real human being would be interested is beyond me.

 

[drobert44]

There’s a number of members who have zero posts who send these PMs to any female sounding username who appears to be online. I think just sending those messages is some kind of kink or fetish for them. I wouldn’t recommend appearing in that list.

Rude PMs from clueless men still happen, from folks similar to these but they lurk in the forums instead of spamming the currently online list.

IMO none of these are worthy of a reply. I’d rather never confirm for them that I’ve even read their PM as I think it’s wank fodder for them.

I look at the response, and if all they do is like, rather than make a comment.

 

[frappingwilly]

Sorry to hear that. Guys sort yourselves out.

 

[seela]

YMMV, of course. I got a flood of them in the first few days. Those which were polite, I replied saying (politely) no thanks and never answered a second one. Those which were not polite I ignored or, in some cases, blocked. It stopped within a few weeks. Oh, I still get the odd one from time to time, but it's essentially history now.

As to the invisibility mode, I'm not so sure. I thought it was supposed to make it so that people cannot tell if you are online or not. That's fine, but I think that many of the comments come from posts and stories and - correct me if I'm wrong - the invisibility mode doesn't help there. One can always turn off conversations and refuse comments on one's stories, I guess.

I think what your username is plays a big role here. Anything obviously female that reads even in the slightest way sexual gets a lot of attention even with no posts under their belts.

I’ve never been barraged with PMs myself. Boring username, boring avatar and boring content, it’s been a good random PM deterrent from the beginning. I still get some random PMs every now and again, some as reactions to what I post, but very few compared to what I know many other women get.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Thanks for the replies / advice .

Didn’t get to bed until about 4 am and only just surfacing. At least I seem to have slept off the alocohol!

Em

 

[Hipshot1554]

Hi all,

This is the first thing I have posted, but I already had a bunch of guys messaging me beforehand Is this just how it goes round her?

Em

You'll find your groove soon enough. OBTW... welcome!

 

[IrisAlthea]

You may be right about invisibility if all one wants to do is read. The instant one posts or comments or has a story published however, your name goes up.

You're right about most of the basement-dwellers. There were a couple who actually sounded kind of nice, as it this might be a place to meet people and it was those to whom I sent the thanks-but-no-thanks replies. But most of them, yes, creepy and ick and why on Earth they thought a real human being would be interested is beyond me.

Those who reacted to something you’ve written will happen anyway. It is more about at least getting rid of the messages from those who don’t read anything beyond the currently online list.

I usually answer with a polite ”No thanks, but hope you find someone to chat with.” because politely asking to talk to someone is hardly a crime, but like seela I’m thankfully rarely drowning in messages.
Without invisible mode it was crazy though.

 

[surferjake]

Most everyone has pretty much nailed it.

There are those that just scan the logins and pounce, like getting to you first is going to make all the difference. Plus, the "sub" in your handle will attract a certain type more often than not that think it just means that you want to be harassed and told what to do, and serve them sexually continuously.

The invisible mode stops a lot of that.

Now, private message, you'll get a lot of that too. Not from my experience, but ladies I know on the site who I have discussed with, your inbox can be so flooded, you can't wade through it.

So, you can Ignore certain profiles if they're spamming you or just harassing in general. If worse, definitely report the profile.

As IrisAltheo says, though - there are people who reach out politely. May be hard to wade through to find them, but they are there.

As with any place new, it's might take a little bit to get acquainted.. but don't run away, the regulars mostly don't bite (unless asked) and are helpful and friendly and fun and sexy.

I come and go, but many have been here forever and take care to make sure new folks and old folks alike get out of it what they are seeking. There is also the live chat which pretty much follows the same advice as above.