Just a little Collarme rant

[DVS]

First, this is a lighthearted rant, in case you were getting out the tissues. No, I'm a big boy. I've suffered rejections before. This is just something I thought others would find some humor in. I did.

Some of you know I've been trying to get myself a date. I'm from the old school and not use to these text based meat market web sites. Oh, I see where they could work, but it's very difficult to put any of your style and charisma into one of these message things.

Just what do you put in a message and what do you leave out? Do you boast of your accomplishments or should you just be humble and ask a sub to reply? Do you specify what you like and what you expect of her, or do you just hope she will tell you what you can and can't do to her? That is, if she does send a message back, at all.

Oh, all of the above are just rhetorical questions and don't require an answer. They were just part of my rant. And, I said I'm from he old school? Well, for different reasons, my old school connections are no longer, so I really don't have much else to go on, these days. I use to have a group I could fall back on, but that group no longer exists.

Just what started this rant? Well, it's like this. I've sent out gobs and gobs of messages to women on Collarme. I've said different things, depending on whom the message was going to. I read all of their profiles, and try to reply in the way they want, in the hopes I will get a reply.

I've seen where they bitch about getting all of those "Kneel at my feet, bitch" messages and that type of thing, and so I make sure I don't to that. Well, I don't do that anyway, but I'm just trying to make a point. I try to respond to most of these women so I will get a reply.

Well, the replies are few and far between. Oh, I think I've received four replies out of over fifty messages I've sent. No, I'm not complaining and I’m not going to post my messages, and let you all critic them as the reason I'm not getting anywhere. I'm not looking for pointers.

And, that isn't the reason for this rant, anyway. I'm a 52 year old man and I've been around the block a few times. I think I know what I need to say to get what I want. Well, I have no problem when I finally get to meet someone, face to face. But, if that time never comes...well, you get the idea.

I was just browsing the collarme site the other day and saw a new profile. You see, where I live, there aren't that many that post a profile on collarme. So, when someone new comes along, it isn't difficult to spot. Actually, she wasn't new, as her profile said...


again...........I have decided to change my profile a bit.

I don't know why, few are reading it anyways.

KS/MO area only will get a response. Anyone that contacts me outside that area will be blocked.

nuff said

Anyway, I decided to send her a message. With a profile message like that, I guessed I wouldn't have much trouble with the posers and the fakers and the wannabes getting in my way. After all, she basically said she wasn't getting any messages. Right?

In my message, I told her what I was into and asked her to check out my profile and see if she thought we were compatible. I also told her I hadn’t seen her profile before so whatever she did to change it must have worked.

I did say more, but I don't care to let everybody on Lit know what I said, as I do have a private side to my personality. Now, if you're an available female sub, living my area, let me know. I'm not so private with potential play partners.

I got a reply from her, rather quickly. Yep, it was sent right after she read it, too. Actually, only one minute after she read it. All the message said was:

you are pretty pompous. i wonder why that is.

Well, I wonder why that is, too. Like I said, I'm a 52 year old man and I've never been called pompous in my life. So, I was pretty sure this woman was off her rocker...or at least about to fall off of it, soon.

I replied to her, doing my best to be as non-pompous as I could. I even said I was sorry my message sounded pompous, and I even thanked her for replying to my message. After all, if you think someone is pompous, why bother with them? Maybe I should have taken that as a hint?

Well, I thought I did a very good job at being non-pompous, but I guess I didn't do a very good job. In fact, that message was worse than the one before. At least it seemed to be, given the reaction I got from her.

I didn't want to go into specifics, but I think in this case, it might be necessary. Just so you get the tone of her um...style.

lolololololol................ you go on and on about not being pompous, then throw in some more accomplishments........ but to cap it off, you then say how you hate when folks spew about themselves...... DUDE!!!!!!!!!!! get a clue.......... what is so surprising, is, you are so arrogant and pompous......... and you are ugly as sin........... so......... i guess in your case....... you are ugly INSIDE and OUT. leave me alone..............

Do you think she likes me? Well, by now, it's finally sinking in that I might be on her shit list, so I decided to send her another message. I thought about suggesting she change her profile to say dominant instead of submissive, but I decided to just be nice and offer her my help. Right about then, I was thinking...I'll post her profile name on Lit's personals section, asking for pompous male Doms to reply. No, that wouldn't be nice.

If you talk to any of the women who have been victims of mine, I like to think they would say they at least enjoyed our time together. I know I'm not a super Dom, but I think it's safe to say I'm above average. And, I don't think this is boasting. I think this is just because I'm 52 years old, and anybody is going to learn the ropes with that much trial and error. Repetition does pay off, eventually. There's proof of that.

So, I just offered her my help...this was my reply to the above message.

Hi there.

Say, you really do aim to please, don't you. Did you get up on the wrong side of bed this morning, or is this the real you? You seem just a little "bitchy" today. You know, I could help you with that condition, if you would only let me.

I'm quite serious. You would feel much better. Trust me. Of course, if you're really enjoying that state of mind, that's up to you.

Let me know, if you want me to help.

Bye.

See, just a simple little message, offering my services to her. It was the least I could do, especially if I was the cause of her ... condition. But, I'm sorry to say I think I only made things worse.

Here is her reply...
pathetic, dumb, stupid, ugly, now you are trying this????????? DUDE!!!!! you are old bald and ugly, prolly broke to boot.......... leave me alone!

Oh, I am sorry about that last message I sent her. She hit me below the belt. Sure, I'm going bald. I am 52 years old. Ugly? That's for someone else to judge. Inside and out? Let's not bring my doctor into this, OK? Pathetic, dumb and stupid? I don't think that was necessary, but maybe she was still having a bad day.

Oh, she was right about one thing. I am pretty broke. I'm wondering if I should send her another message. I fear she would block my messages and spoil my fun. So I'm torn. I'm figuring only one more good message will be possible. But, maybe she really likes me. Do you think so?

I hope you all enjoyed this.


EDITED for spelling errors.

 

[Xelebes]

Second response sounds something coming from a 17 year old.

 

[CutieMouse]

What a rude twit. (Her; not you.)

I don't have a profile/ad/what-have-you up anywhere, but I do get occasional IMs from complete strangers off Lit. There are ways to say one is not interested without showing one's heart to be as black as her's. Ew.

As an aside- DVS you've never struck me as pompous. Knowledgeable- yes. Experienced- yes. Kinky- yes. Pompous- no. (Then again I'm mature enough to know when to appreciate knowledge and experienced instead of behaving like a first grader and poking fun at things or people I don't understand...)

I do hope things look up soon.

 

[INSIDEYOURMIND]

I had some bad Collarme experiences as well, like any other site it is plagued with trolls, wannabes, couldn'tbes, and the like.

My first poor experience was with a woman that contacted me from Atlanta, I had no issue with the distance, and she was looking to relocate. We chatted for about 2 months and graduated to the phone, (no cyber, no phone sex, not my cup of tea). We had many things in common, and even a few that we really had in common that I wasn't aware of yet. She was very respectful, and seemed to be someone I could certainly enjoy spending time with. We made plans for her to fly up here, I was willing to share the costs, but she said that was not an issue. The day before she was to arrive she told me that she needed to tell me something important, it was then I found out the other things we had in common were that "she" had a penis just like I did! I was pissed, more because she basically wasted 3 months of my time, and in my case, the only penis in my bed is attached to me! "Her" reason for not telling me was that "she" felt that if I was in love with "her" that little detail wouldn't matter! IT MATTERED!

OK, it can happen, I adjusted my profile to mention my preference to women that are penis free, and I muddled on. I didn't send out a bunch of emails, I sent out a couple to local women, I received respectful replies, and for one reason or another, there was no match.

I received a note from a woman in California who had very similar interests to mine. I told her upfront about the issues with the last "woman", and she assured me that she was 100% woman, a fact she proved to me shortly thereafter via webcam. The issue with the distance was workable, she too was looking to relocate. We chatted online a great deal, and talked on the phone all the time. After about 3 months, (something about that period of time), she confessed that she was very interested in me, but she wasn't in California, she was in Israel, and needed to get married to get out of the country. Another complete waste of time.

June 25th of 2004, I went on Collarme to close my account, a profile popped up on the welcome screen that seemed too good to be true. Local, similar interests, I decided to send her a quick note, and see what this might bring. Later that afternoon I get a message from her, it is clear, well written, and touches on each of my points in my profile. I reply, and ask her if she is responding to my message to her, only to find out that she was bombarded with messages, and deleted all of them, including mine, her original message to me was based on her seeing my profile and replying (talk about fate!).

We chat via Yahoo for a few minutes, and I tell her I want to talk by phone, she agrees, and we have a nice short conversation, we agree to meet the very next day. I wanted to meet her because there had to be something wrong with her, or something she forgot to tell me (like an extra body part or something)

She shows up at the appointed time, and ...............................SHE'S PERFECT! and she doesn't have a penis!

The rest as they say is Collarme history, we married this past April, and she is perfect, as if she was built at the subbie factory to my specs.

I guess the point of this long winded reply is to not give up, take a look at your profile, maybe have a sub that you trust read it, and get their feedback, and keep plugging at it. I am 49, have a serious heart condition, don't have alot of money, and am not the perfect package, but I found my little girl on Collarme, and I will always be a champion of the site because of it.

 

[DVS]

Second response sounds something coming from a 17 year old.

The profile says she's 34. And if the pic is her's, she looks 34, too. But, pictures do mostly mask one's mental status.

 

[CutieMouse]

The profile says she's 34. And if the pic is her's, she looks 34, too. But, pictures do mostly mask one's mental status.

*Sitting here horrified women my age act like that.*

 

[FurryFury]

She is horribly rude. I would never act that way to anyone. Sorry to hear all this. I'm going to see if I can find you at collarme.

Fury

 

[JupitersGirl]

...I found my girl on Collarme, and I will always be a champion of the site because of it.

I am a champion too!

Once you weed out the crazies, who can be fun, as evidenced by DVS' rant, you can meet some wonderful friends and more on collarme.

And I could read the profiles for hours ... talk about a window to the soul. Often, though, the window shows another panorama than the one the writer intended. Jeez! I'm such a voyeur.

 

[DVS]

I had some bad Collarme experiences as well, like any other site it is plagued with trolls, wannabes, couldn'tbes, and the like. The day before she was to arrive she told me that she needed to tell me something important, it was then I found out the other things we had in common were that "she" had a penis just like I did! I was pissed, more because she basically wasted 3 months of my time, and in my case, the only penis in my bed is attached to me! "Her" reason for not telling me was that "she" felt that if I was in love with "her" that little detail wouldn't matter!
IT MATTERED!

I had a similar experience several years ago, when I was posint on Alt. That place was too much money. Anyway, there was a pic and all, and this woman was a tennis player from Italy, going to school at KU (Kansas University...for those not into sports). We chatted for a long, long time and it seemed she was just my type, too. The only problem was, she was almost 20 years younger than I was. Still, that didn't seem to bother her.

Finally, it wasn't her, but her college room mate who sent me an email saying she was a he. Well, I wanted to be sure, so I sent her an email asking if her room mate was correct or was this some sort of college prank. I never heard from either of them again, so I guess I'll never know.

Either she really was a he, and
(1) he killed his room mate for telling his secret,
(2) it was a prank and she was just to embarassed to write back or didn't care to, or
(3) maybe the room mate just found out she was a he and they ran off together.

I guess the point of this long winded reply is to not give up, take a look at your profile, maybe have a sub that you trust read it, and get their feedback, and keep plugging at it. I am 49, have a serious heart condition, don't have alot of money, and am not the perfect package, but I found my little girl on Collarme, and I will always be a champion of the site because of it.

Thanks for the pep talk. I understand what you're saying. I've met three very lovely, intelligent and kinky women on web sites. The problem is, I had ads out, and that web site is no longer there to put another ad up. All three of these women answered the same ad. That site was a GOLD MINE!

I know she's a whacko and I know she isn't the norm, when it comes to women subs. I've already had sub friends check my profile and give it the OK.

It just seems I do better face to face than with this message thing. Trust me...I"ve sent out a bunch of messages to women in my area and women who said they were willing to relocate. I'm quite sure some are fake, but they can't all be.

And, I'm not looking for sympathy, either. This is a light hearted thread to make people laugh and they can also post their own silly messages, if they want. I know there have been other threads just like this, but I couldnl't find one to use.

So, I decided to create my own. Call me pompous if you want.

 

[nusubgurl]

But, maybe she really likes me. Do you think so?

She's a psycho bitch..let it go...

DVS, honey, *i* like you...and your twisted, sick, perverted mind...you make me want to move back to St. Louis. or KC, or even stupid old Warrensburg...And it's well known that i have a serious thing for older men...just ask the Geology department at CMSU

 

[graceanne]

Well, now we know why she's still single.

I have a cousin in St. Louis who could use a spanking . . . problem is she'd probably call the police if you did. *sigh*

 

[brioche]

Since you probably only have one more message before she blocks you, maybe we should all write it together

 

[DVS]

*Sitting here horrified women my age act like that.*

Well she could have been between medications, you know. That happens.

And, some medications have side effects...adverse side effects, too.

And, if you mix some medications with booze, you get REALLY loopy.

And, it could have just been her time of the month. YUCK.

 

[DVS]

What a rude twit. (Her; not you.)

I don't have a profile/ad/what-have-you up anywhere, but I do get occasional IMs from complete strangers off Lit. There are ways to say one is not interested without showing one's heart to be as black as her's. Ew.

As an aside- DVS you've never struck me as pompous. Knowledgeable- yes. Experienced- yes. Kinky- yes. Pompous- no. (Then again I'm mature enough to know when to appreciate knowledge and experienced instead of behaving like a first grader and poking fun at things or people I don't understand...)

I do hope things look up soon.

I never asked her, but maybe I should have asked if she knows what pompous means. She could have it mixed up with stud muffin or something, ya' know?

 

[DVS]

She's a psycho bitch..let it go...

DVS, honey, *i* like you...and your twisted, sick, perverted mind...you make me want to move back to St. Louis. or KC, or even stupid old Warrensburg...And it's well known that i have a serious thing for older men...just ask the Geology department at CMSU

OOh, I lived in Warrensburg for a bit. I went to college there. But, that was when it was CMSC.

Geology? Is that the study of rocks?

 

[FurryFury]

I never asked her, but maybe I should have asked if she knows what pompous means. She could have it mixed up with stud muffin or something, ya' know?

LMAO!

You are a funny guy DVS!

Fury

 

[DVS]

Well, now we know why she's still single.

I was kind of wondering that, too. When she said she changed her profile, but not many were reading it. She surely meant nobody was sending her messages. Too bad. She isn't bad looking...if that is really her in the pic.

I have a cousin in St. Louis who could use a spanking . . . problem is she'd probably call the police if you did. *sigh*

So, I'd be spanking her against her will? Oh, I like that kind of spanking. I'm game. I could be gone before theh police get there. They'd never find me.

Go ahead...set it up.

 

[DVS]

She is horribly rude. I would never act that way to anyone. Sorry to hear all this. I'm going to see if I can find you at collarme.

Fury

I'll wave at you, if I see you. This'll be me ==>

 

[DVS]

Since you probably only have one more message before she blocks you, maybe we should all write it together

Actually, I'd rather we find out where she lives and go knock on the door and give her a group hug. Well, not REALLY a hug.

 

[hazel43]

CVS, you are a dear. I have been reading your posts for about a year now. You clearly have plenty of common sense.
As for me, all that I know is that I am a masochist. I am unsure of much more than that. I can't promise anything, but maybe we should talk to learn more about each other.
And I would never be one to hurt your feelings. I truely cherish other peoples feelings.
Fuel prices are down...

 

[FurryFury]

I'll wave at you, if I see you. This'll be me ==>

You won't see me, I closed my account and didn't have a picture on it anyway.

I didn't find you either. I ended up staring at a shot of someone who isn't in my life anymore. Sad isn't it?

So I'll just wave at you here!

Fury

 

[DVS]

You won't see me, I closed my account and didn't have a picture on it anyway.

I didn't find you either. I ended up staring at a shot of someone who isn't in my life anymore. Sad isn't it?

So I'll just wave at you here!

Fury

Well, shit...I'm there. Trust me. I saw you walking by. I could have pinched you.

 

[FurryFury]

Well, shit...I'm there. Trust me. I saw you walking by. I could have pinched you.

And you didn't because...?

Fury

 

[graceanne]

http://www.collarme.com/bdsm/v/33486/q/dvs/default.htm

 

[hazel43]

Another thought: I received a reply from a guy up your way. His idea of a date included having me suck on a door knob, while he took a shower.