"Jumping ship"

[MissTaken]

Well, sometimes, I feel like a hypocrite.

I dont' do this at lit, but in terms of random chatting, there are nights where I am feeling very lonely and just want company.

Then, I may talk to people I dont' know and they may think I am seriously considering something with them.

Sometimes, it is just for chat and conversation for a night or two.

Othertimes, I am sincere.


God! I feel like that was a confession!

*saying ten Hail Mary's*

 

[Artemesia]

Yes, a forum such as Lit allows for people to let go of their inhibitions, let down their walls, and explore more. And this can be what initially attracts you to an individual....but doesnt this in itself give you some insight into what some people are about deep down inside? -- although they might not feel free to express it outwardly in everyday interactions for whatever reasons, whether it be their own insecurity, lack of certain freedoms, etc?

You make a very good point about where people post.

 

[Batch]

I think that the ideas presented here are quite valuable. I had been thinking lately about...the lack of ease I have in entering any realtionship..been here months.....and just wasn't wanting anything serious...just talkingand getting to know people..I gues I was just trying to see if this was a safe place...and I lucked onto the True Confessions thread...a great place to start out if you are new to this world of the internet....
When the two who enter into a relationship on line go over what their limits are.in clear terms..that makes it a solid base to go from...I myself...am not able to actually meet him face to face...our lives only have room for this on-line communication.
I do not personally beleive that just disappearing on someone you have been building a relationship with is okay...
getting to know someone on-line, talking, finding things in common.are importeant elements of this courting we do of each other..
this is real to me.........it is rarely fun or games.I will not toy with someone just to score points.or posts.....
Although I know some probably just IM people just to fuck them..and that has a place to I guess...
these are real people we talk to. with feelings behind those
avs and wants and desires and expectations....as with all relationships.....go gentle...be clear about what you want...what are your limits? what do they want? what are their limits....talk and work it out.be kind when saying good bye, if and when it comes to that....
and stick to them
my 50 cents worth of rambling...

 

[redelicious]

For whatever reason I am finding that jumping ship is very, very hard. I swore up and down that I was not going to get attached and then I did anyway . . .

 

[Arden]

Listen to this lady, she knows what she is talking about., lomg time no see Arden, hugs, be well love,BD

My most sincere apologies, BD.

More poetry, please! The last was lovely...

 

[Batch]

For whatever reason I am finding that jumping ship is very, very hard. I swore up and down that I was not going to get attached and then I did anyway . . .

how could one not get attached? we are in need of .compainionship and when we find someone that almost meets that need we are so drawn to them...
and to think that we won't get attached is...well kinda unrealistic.we humans get atatched.we bond. it is what we do so naturally...

 

[Arden]

Well, sometimes, I feel like a hypocrite.

I dont' do this at lit, but in terms of random chatting, there are nights where I am feeling very lonely and just want company.

Then, I may talk to people I dont' know and they may think I am seriously considering something with them.

Sometimes, it is just for chat and conversation for a night or two.

Othertimes, I am sincere.


God! I feel like that was a confession!

*saying ten Hail Mary's*

Hey, MissT...

I don't think you're any different from the rest of us. The friends that we make here are what keep us coming back for more...

Random chatting... there are nights when it's nice to talk to someone... and sometimes the random chatting can lead to a good friendship somewhere down the road... so never feel bad about finding someone to talk to. That's what keeps some of us sane.

If you talk with someone new, you can tell them you're not interested in taking the friendship further in the beginning. Just be careful to not go overboard, because you might chase off someone who could turn into a more serious friend later on.

I'm a single parent like you, and I have to tell you, sometimes it's great just to have another adult to talk to. Face it, it's hard to get out and meet people when you're a custodial parent. I've been this way for seven years... and my life still consists mostly of work, kids, and doing things with or for the kids. It leaves very little time for me... It's easy to lose a sense of self... who you are, defined not only as being a mother... but as a person with real needs of your own beyond life with the kids.

We miss you on the Older Men thread... be sure to come by from time to time... Ok?

So I'm not the only Catholic at Lit? If I went to confession today, I'd be excommunicated for sure!

Take Care...

 

[tn_8tiv]

So I'm not the only Catholic at Lit? If I went to confession today, I'd be excommunicated for sure!

Take Care...

Let me see what the pentinance should be for spanking my butt

 

[Batch]

Hey, MissT...

I don't think you're any different from the rest of us. The friends that we make here are what keep us coming back for more...

Random chatting... there are nights when it's nice to talk to someone... and sometimes the random chatting can lead to a good friendship somewhere down the road... so never feel bad about finding someone to talk to. That's what keeps some of us sane.

If you talk with someone new, you can tell them you're not interested in taking the friendship further in the beginning. Just be careful to not go overboard, because you might chase off someone who could turn into a more serious friend later on.

I'm a single parent like you, and I have to tell you, sometimes it's great just to have another adult to talk to. Face it, it's hard to get out and meet people when you're a custodial parent. I've been this way for seven years... and my life still consists mostly of work, kids, and doing things with or for the kids. It leaves very little time for me... It's easy to lose a sense of self... who you are, defined not only as being a mother... but as a person with real needs of your own beyond life with the kids.

We miss you on the Older Men thread... be sure to come by from time to time... Ok?

So I'm not the only Catholic at Lit? If I went to confession today, I'd be excommunicated for sure!

Take Care...

Nope you are not the only
Catholic here.

 

[MissTaken]

Arden?

You just said it so much more eloquently than I did.



Thanks and if you are to be excommunicated, I will be on the bus right behind you!



Oddly enough, the one person that I most strigently and frequently stated, "I don't believe in on line relationships. Don't fall in love," is perhaps the most real and profound LDR relationship I have. Even though our being together is not likely to ever occur, we do enjoy one another.

many hugs to that special guy!

 

[Arden]

Let me see what the pentinance should be for spanking my butt

Frankly, I'd rather spank your butt again then confess!

 

[tn_8tiv]

Frankly, I'd rather spank your butt again then confess!

LMAO...well, that can be arranged...darn it, you have to change your AV honey. I'm sure as hell going to burn in hell if you don't.

 

[Naughty n Nice]

BEWARE

I met a guy online, we were "together" 12 hours a day every day. After 4 months of this, he came here (MA) from Michigan to visit me. It was bliss. I never knew it coud be so good. So when it came time for him to leave, we decided that I'd go back with him and we'd pack him up, rent a uhaul, and move him in. So, this is what we did. The first month was unbelievably wonderful. However, after 3 weeks of work, he got laid off. Then he did nothing but sit on his ass complaining he couldn't find a job. Well, last I heard, one has to actually LOOK for a job in order to find one. I paid for EVERYTHING for 2 months. I went thru the last $3000 from my retroactive money from disability. Then he began acting like an ass. Every day was worse then the previous. It came to where I felt unsafe, so I called my bro-in-law, he came over, we told him to pack what he could because he had to be at Greyhound in 2 hours. We dropped him off, I, of course, paid the faire, and my bro-in-law and I left him standing there. So, it's been a couple of months now and we haven't spoken. I sent 2 certified, return receipt letters asking him to pick up his things. I never heard from him. I called his friend and left a message for him--nothing. I have everything he owns, including his motorcycle. He seems to hate me more then he wants his things. So now I have to figure out what the hell to do with it all. Anyway, would I do that again? Hell no!! I will not fall for someone online if he lives far away. It would be different if he lived nearby and we could actualy 'date'. You have to be so careful, and there are too many emotions that you can't sense online. No tone of voice, no facial expressions, etc. BEWARE!!

Phew, I thought this was just going to be a blurb..............

 

[Arden]

Arden?

You just said it so much more eloquently than I did.



Thanks and if you are to be excommunicated, I will be on the bus right behind you!



Oddly enough, the one person that I most strigently and frequently stated, "I don't believe in on line relationships. Don't fall in love," is perhaps the most real and profound LDR relationship I have. Even though our being together is not likely to ever occur, we do enjoy one another.

many hugs to that special guy!

*Siitting on that bus, looking over my shoulder for Miss T*

Some online relationships can become very profound if you happen upon the right type of person... Ever have one of those eerie encounters that leaves you in awe of how deeply you can connect with a faceless person whose voice you have never heard? <laughing> It can and does happen... I think anyone who has been here a while will run across that circumstance sooner or later.

I think being realistic about the end result is important. You may never have a chance to meet some of your closest online friends. But there's nothing wrong with your being very close to that friend, as long as you both get something out of the relationship.
(Does this make any sense?)

*Waving to the other Catholic up the thread*

 

[Arden]

LMAO...well, that can be arranged...darn it, you have to change your AV honey. I'm sure as hell going to burn in hell if you don't.

Grabs tn by the hand and heads off to hell with him...

 

[Arden]

But there's nothing wrong with your being very close to that friend, as long as you both get something out of the relationship.
(Does this make any sense?)

It didn't come out right... try again, Arden...

But there's nothing wrong with your being very close to that friend, as long as you both "contribute something positive" to the relationship, and to each others lives as friends.

That feels better.

 

[mbb308]

Having been to Hell, and gotten back, I wonder about Hell jokes.

There is recovery for Catholicism, you know!

 

[Arden]

Having been to Hell, and gotten back, I wonder about Hell jokes.

There is recovery for Catholicism, you know!

Catholics Anonymous?

 

[Batch]

Having been to Hell, and gotten back, I wonder about Hell jokes.

There is recovery for Catholicism, you know!

and what is that dear?

 

[mbb308]

Catholics Anonymous?

I think that CA is actually Cocaine Anonymous.

I just happen to know several friends who clain to be "recovering Catholics".

I just walked out of the Episcopal churc 25 years ago and found a concept of God with whom I could do business. My spiritual growth has been much steadier and simpler since then, too.

 

[Batch]

I think that CA is actually Cocaine Anonymous.

I just happen to know several friends who clain to be "recovering Catholics".

I just walked out of the Episcopal churc 25 years ago and found a concept of God with whom I could do business. My spiritual growth has been much steadier and simpler since then, too.

the road to recovery is a long one...


so how does one do business with God?

 

[CatEyes]

Interesting topic.

I think the people that disappear online are probably the same people who would do that in real life. I think it also depends on how deep the relationship becomes. I mean if you've only talked a few times superficially that's no different than maybe going to a bar a few times, each time you're there talking to a particular person just to shoot the breeze and then never seeing them again.

Maybe I've been lucky but most of the people that I've gotten close to online are people that I still talk to 3, 4, 5 years later. And the few people that I have had the privilage of meeting in person were exactly how they came across online.

I think when you talk to someone one on one in an instant messaging situation instead of on a board like this their personality and who they really are really do come across. I think in that kind of situation it's much harder for someone to pretend to be something their not and to actually get away with it. Of course I've never understood the point of that to begin with. If someone likes me I want them to like me for me not for who I'm pretending to be.

CatEyes

 

[CatEyes]

Interesting topic.

I think the people that disappear online are probably the same people who would do that in real life. I think it also depends on how deep the relationship becomes. I mean if you've only talked a few times superficially that's no different than maybe going to a bar a few times, each time you're there talking to a particular person just to shoot the breeze and then never seeing them again.

Maybe I've been lucky but most of the people that I've gotten close to online are people that I still talk to 3, 4, 5 years later. And the few people that I have had the privilage of meeting in person were exactly how they came across online.

I think when you talk to someone one on one in an instant messaging situation instead of on a board like this their personality and who they really are really do come across. I think in that kind of situation it's much harder for someone to pretend to be something their not and to actually get away with it. Of course I've never understood the point of that to begin with. If someone likes me I want them to like me for me not for who I'm pretending to be.

CatEyes

 

[CatEyes]

Oops, sorry about the double post. It looked like it wasn't going through and I just kept hitting submit.

CatEyes

 

[mbb308]

the road to recovery is a long one...


so how does one do business with God?

I had to start with learning to do business with me. I had to accept the parts of me and my life which I can't change, and grow some cojones to change the parts that I could. The trick was know which were which.

My concept of God begins and ends with the first two words of the Lord's Prayer. If they are true, and my life seems simpler believing that they are than it did before I believed that, then how could God want anything bad for me? He could not, just as I don't for my son.