Jumping back in time?

[Rob_Royale]

Not actual time travel, just shifting the narrative to something that happened in the recent past.

How do you feel about it using it to set the hook on a story, using a surprising or provocative scene? Then jumping back in time a week or so to explain how the character(s) got into this situation? To date I haven't tried it, preferring to use good dialog to catch the readers interest. But I've got a story idea that this might work with.

I see it used occasionally in movies and TV and I'm on the fence on how I feel about. It seems a little tricksy and when I read a story that uses it I'm just a touch disappointed.

Opinions?

 

[Dnthmn_19]

I find it annoying.

 

[ElectricBlue]

You've just got to keep it clear "when" you are.

Also, ask yourself why you want to step back and explain stuff. That runs the risk of irrelevant info-dump. Alternatively, start the story that week or so ago, if the circumstances are that important.

 

[Rob_Royale]

start the story that week or so ago, if the circumstances are that important.

That is my usual MO. But I feel this might work.

The story starts with a married man walking naked into his living room, surprised to find his wife and her best friend admiring him. He's suprised, they are not.

Then jump back in time to find out how this mature, monogamous couple got to this point. Because this feels more provocative than a husband and wife discussing swinging over coffee and bagels.

 

[CalBishForNow]

I've done it once, although I was only jumping back a few hours rather than a week. Link for reference. I think it turned out fine. Not fine ratings, but that's LW; no one complained about being confused by or feeling cheated about the in media res opening.

 

[TheWritingGroup]

That technique can work. You could also just start with the "Oh, God! Ella, why?!" and then evoke the past through dialog instead of "showing" it.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Not actual time travel, just shifting the narrative to something that happened in the recent past.

How do you feel about it using it to set the hook on a story, using a surprising or provocative scene? Then jumping back in time a week or so to explain how the character(s) got into this situation? To date I haven't tried it, preferring to use good dialog to catch the readers interest. But I've got a story idea that this might work with.

I see it used occasionally in movies and TV and I'm on the fence on how I feel about. It seems a little tricksy and when I read a story that uses it I'm just a touch disappointed.

Opinions?

I’ve started in the present and then shifted back decades. I’ve started in the present and then shifted back one year. I’ve started in the present and then shifted back a few weeks. I’ve started in the present and then shifted back a few hours. All have been well-received.

Again, as with any technique, you can write it well or write it badly.

 

[BobbyBrandt]

The literary technique known as exposition can take many forms and serve a valuable purpose in storytelling.

The exposition can occur through dialogue, the narration, and/or interchapters.

I tend to let my characters "flashback" in such a way as their thoughts of the past become the narrative and are written to be clearly distinguished from the present.

 

[StillStunned]

Again, as with any technique, you can write it well or write it badly.

I agree with this. It's a valid technique, but how well it succeeds depends on a few factors. It can feel cheap if the writer starts with an exciting/erotic scene to engage the reader before flashing back with an infodump. It can also feel clumsy if the opening scene is too long before jumping back in time to when the actual of the story starts, or if the flashback is so long that you lose track of where you started.

As a reader, I get annoyed if a story starts with a complete scene, and then essentially restarts at an earlier point. I'm invested in what's happening in that opening scene, but the writer wants me to reinvest in what's basically another narrative. We all have our readers' attention on credit: don't ask them to give you twice as much just as they begin to feel you're paying them back.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I agree with this. It's a valid technique, but how well it succeeds depends on a few factors. It can feel cheap if the writer starts with an exciting/erotic scene to engage the reader before flashing back with an infodump. It can also feel clumsy if the opening scene is too long before jumping back in time to when the actual of the story starts, or if the flashback is so long that you lose track of where you started.

As a reader, I get annoyed if a story starts with a complete scene, and then essentially restarts at an earlier point. I'm invested in what's happening in that opening scene, but the writer wants me to reinvest in what's basically another narrative. We all have our readers' attention on credit: don't ask them to give you twice as much just as they begin to feel you're paying them back.

As with everything, there has to be a reason. And the execution needs to be good.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

The phrase 'Roll it back' appears in a number of my tales, used for precisely that purpose. As an example, the beginning of my Zoe Thrice.

“Are you watching, Zoe?”

Gideon’s voice was clear, but I was confused by the question. How could I not be watching?

He hefted the flogger in his hand.

Claire’s blue eyes turned to mine, stared at me. I had no idea what she was feeling.

+

Roll it back.

I won’t say I had been friendless since arriving in Melbourne. Far from it – the people I’d met there were open and friendly, much more so than back home. I’d met some very agreeable people, had made some friends. I’d enjoyed myself here – no complaints. But...

It can easily be overdone, but as @Rob_Royale puts it so well, it can be good for setting the hook.

 

[AlinaX]

As I’ve said multiple times, I really hate when a story starts with 3-4 paragraphs of teaser followed by the narrator explicitly saying, “But let me explain how I got here.”

If it’s transparently a narrative device, then it’s lazy. You need some investment in the now before retracing to the then. It is often used in TV series, but there we are already invested in the characters. An opening scene where familiar character is seemingly in fatal jeopardy arouses curiosity.

In contrast, a story where unknown character is in the throes of wild, explicit, improbable sex is like slapping the reader with a salmon and expecting them to follow you into a dark alley three paragraphs later.

So, invest in characters and/or scene before transitioning to another time and place.

 

[Dodola]

I think what's accepted in cinema is also accepted in writing. It's all dependent on the quality of the writing. Forest Gump, The Notebook, etc.
If the story is compelling, there's no mold or formula you have to use to hook me.

 

[WittyUserName]

Not actual time travel, just shifting the narrative to something that happened in the recent past.

How do you feel about it using it to set the hook on a story, using a surprising or provocative scene? Then jumping back in time a week or so to explain how the character(s) got into this situation? To date I haven't tried it, preferring to use good dialog to catch the readers interest. But I've got a story idea that this might work with.

I see it used occasionally in movies and TV and I'm on the fence on how I feel about. It seems a little tricksy and when I read a story that uses it I'm just a touch disappointed.

Opinions?

It's a tough one. You need to be very, very clear about what time you're writing in. My last story was of a couple lying in bed and one of them was telling a story. I jumped to the past to write the story she was telling. It can be tricky to do well, but it was a lot of fun to write. Not sure how well I did, but if you have a fun idea; go for it! Nothing wrong with experimenting. What's the worst that could happen?

 

[SimonDoom]

Sure, the technique can work. I suggest not doing it too often, and making sure you have a good reason to do it. Also, it's generally better to present the earlier scene as a "scene" rather than as exposition, which, as EB says, becomes an info dump.

 

[EmilyMiller]

This thread seems to be devolving into a lot of opinions (mine included). The construct that @Rob_Royale mentions is entirely valid, it’s not uncommon in literature.

I often get story comments like - this is so not my kink, but you reeled me in, and I couldn’t stop reading. The same story might have others icking out. It’s the same thing.

If you write to avoid the pet peeves of others, you will never write anything of worth. Write you story, frame it how you see best, and do everything you can to tell the tale well.

Orthodoxy is overrated.

Don’t be afraid to try things.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

What everyone else said - it can be done well or badly, but the important thing is to keep track of your tenses and what time period you're in, referring to and speaking from. And have a reason for it - especially if it's more than once per story.

I'm writing a story at the moment where action builds up to an event. The narrator is telling the story from his perspective shortly after the event. A fair bit of the dialogue is in present tense, but I decided the protagonist didn't have a cool enough voice to carry off present tense narration, so that all had to be switched to past tense. Fine, until he starts thinking about the future which is actually the past from when he's telling the story...

 

[THBGato]

I've done it in Clara and the solar system. I can't remember why - was it a conscious choice or just the way it came to me?

Anyway, it's one of my least read stories, though I doubt that's the reason.

 

[Rob_Royale]

Opinions?

This thread seems to be devolving into a lot of opinions (mine included). The construct that @Rob_Royale mentions is entirely valid, it’s not uncommon in literature.

Orthodoxy is overrated.

Don’t be afraid to try things.

Well, that is what I asked for and I really appreciate the input. I've a beginning fleshed out both using the flashback scene and not. When I finally start typing I guess I'll find out which one grabs me harder.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I've done it in Clara and the solar system. I can't remember why - was it a conscious choice or just the way it came to me?

Anyway, it's one of my least read stories, though I doubt that's the reason.

It’s a beautiful story well told and the framing was perfect. It actually complemented the events and how you unwound the ‘puzzle’ really well. Prima facie example of a good author using all the available tools.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Well, that is what I asked for and I really appreciate the input. I've a beginning fleshed out both using the flashback scene and not. When I finally start typing I guess I'll find out which one grabs me harder.

Opinions are great, so long as the context is just opinions, and not opinions presented as eternal verities.

 

[Dearelliot]

I like it...

 

[Rob_Royale]

Opinions are great, so long as the context is just opinions, and not opinions presented as eternal verities.

You scientists and your fancy words. I had to look up eternal verities. Even my spell checker doesn't like the word.
I can handle whatever the AH throws at me.

 

[alohadave]

Then jumping back in time a week or so to explain how the character(s) got into this situation?

Do you need a full TV/movie style flashback, or can you cover it with dialog or a couple lines of narration/exposition?

 

[EmilyMiller]

You scientists and your fancy words. I had to look up eternal verities. Even my spell checker doesn't like the word.
I can handle whatever the AH throws at me.

Scientists are so grandiloquent…