Jumping back in time?

[Rob_Royale]

Do you need a full TV/movie style flashback, or can you cover it with dialog or a couple lines of narration/exposition?

I was thinking about a full scene with sex and everything but I'm leaning away from it now as a new idea for the beginning is quite the brain worm.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Not actual time travel, just shifting the narrative to something that happened in the recent past.

How do you feel about it using it to set the hook on a story, using a surprising or provocative scene? Then jumping back in time a week or so to explain how the character(s) got into this situation? To date I haven't tried it, preferring to use good dialog to catch the readers interest. But I've got a story idea that this might work with.

I see it used occasionally in movies and TV and I'm on the fence on how I feel about. It seems a little tricksy and when I read a story that uses it I'm just a touch disappointed.

Opinions?

By The Horns was my Memento tribute (as well as my Indiana Jones and Tomb Raider tribute ).

The story of Juliana Jones and Cara Loft meeting was told backwards in flashbacks interspersed with the actual narrative. But done so in such as way that each bit of information from the past slotted into the present exactly when relevant.

Then the story also features time manipulation. Apparently at least some readers here appreciate complexity.

Chris Nolan eat your heart out .

 

[TheWritingGroup]

Scientists are so grandiloquent…

Indubitably.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Indubitably.

One might go as far as euphuistic…

 

[TheWritingGroup]

One might go as far as euphuistic…

Of course, it's possible that your bias against scientists and their habitual style is merely tendentious.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Of course, it's possible that your bias against scientists and their habitual style is merely tendentious.

Or even ouroboric…

 

[EmilyMiller]

Sorry @Rob_Royale

 

[TheWritingGroup]

Or even ouroboric…

That usage is either oxymoronic, or facetious.

 

[EmilyMiller]

That usage is either oxymoronic, or facetious.

Or both

 

[MrPixel]

Scientists are so grandiloquent…

With some given to annoying hyperpolysyllabicsesquipedalianism, too.

 

[EmilyMiller]

With some given to annoying hyperpolysyllabicsesquipedalianism, too.

I take pills. But they don’t help

 

[TheWritingGroup]

I take pills. But they don’t help

Surely you mean that the medicament does not ameliorate?

 

[PapaRomantic]

I've done this before - in fact, I have a story where I've done this repeatedly throughout the first half of it. It was well received, though I did have one comment from a man who said he was a literature instructor at a small private college, and he didn't like that technique. More than likely the story was well received because of the topic and not because of the writing style.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Surely you mean that the medicament does not ameliorate?

The nostrum is habitually otiose…

 

[THBGato]

If you aren't familiar with it, you should check out "I know where you tongue has been" by @bi_cathy - she tells the story backwards from buying flowers for the lover to their first meeting. It's awesome and in many ways excruciating, demanding you go back to re-read it once you're done.

 

[anthrodisiac]

If its only purpose is as a hook, then I think it's unnecessary. Then again, most things in writing are unnecessary, so...

Question to ask yourself: What's its purpose? If I'm using a tool, I like to have a good reason why beyond "I want to." Does it serve the story, and is it more than just a plot device for the benefit of the writer?

I guess that was two questions...

Usually, when I see in media res, it's because the writer has thought to themself, "I think my story was going to be boring to start, so I'll give them something interesting, then do the boring stuff almost immediately after."

Problem is: Now you have this scene, totally unresolved, taking up attention and space from the rest of the story as you continue. It runs the risk of devaluing the event itself, because it's hung over everything for large chunks of the story before you get to it, which means the reader has built it up in their head, and if you don't absolutely nail it, it's a pretty big let-down.

So, if you're going to do it, do it with intention, and as more than a hook. Have the fact you started there tie into the story somehow.

And if you absolutely have to do it, don't make it more than a few paragraphs. You don't want to give too much away or get them too invested in the scene right out of the gate. It's an appetizer, not a full meal.

Hope that helps!

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

I've done it, though I can't recall exactly which story right now.

I think I even added a comment from one the characters along the lines of ... 'how did we get here?, well ....'

 

[Djmac1031]

I've done it a couple times i suppose, the one that jumps out at me is Mommy For Hire.

Its starts in the "present" with the two main characters in the opening scene, introducing who they are and their relationship.

The male character later goes to a bar and while trying to reach out to her again, reflects on how they first met.

The story then jumps to "Four Years Ago" and tells that story. Then cuts back to "Present Day" to finish.

To me it worked better for the story because I wanted to start with the particular kink of the story already formed then go back and explain how he discovered he was into this particular fetish.

 

[TheWritingGroup]

I've done it a couple times i suppose, the one that jumps out at me is Mommy For Hire.\

I did it once, in "Deciding". I didn't make people wait all that long for the scene to be resolved. I had an in-story reason. The story was being told in first person by the heroine to a defined audience, and she isn't that organized a storyteller. It took her a few seconds to figure out where to start.

 

[designatedvictim]

As a reader, I get annoyed if a story starts with a complete scene, and then essentially restarts at an earlier point. I'm invested in what's happening in that opening scene, but the writer wants me to reinvest in what's basically another narrative. We all have our readers' attention on credit: don't ask them to give you twice as much just as they begin to feel you're paying them back.

My one experience doing a 'flashback' didn't do a set-up scene, then roll-back, but was well into my story when the two characters are sharing stories.

The MMC, first-person POV, was straightforward. 'Yeah, I did this. She did/said that...'-type of thing.

I kind of painted myself into a corner when the FMC took her turn to describe a scene from over two years in the past.

Having a non-viewpoint character trying to describe ongoing first-person exchange was awkward for me. 'She said, "I want you to do that." Then I said "something else' in reply.' that indirection felt like it would be untenable over any significant stretch of scene.

I broke down and had her say 'Set the Wayback Machine to two years ago...' a scene change marker, then for the only time in the story, she became the viewpoint character, then another scene change marker and back to MMC as the POV.

It's the only place in the story where the MMC wasn't the viewpoint.

I wasn't totally happy with the result.

 

[anthrodisiac]

My one experience doing a 'flashback' didn't do a set-up scene, then roll-back, but was well into my story when the two characters are sharing stories.

The MMC, first-person POV, was straightforward. 'Yeah, I did this. She did/said that...'-type of thing.

I kind of painted myself into a corner when the FMC took her turn to describe a scene from over two years in the past.

Having a non-viewpoint character trying to describe ongoing first-person exchange was awkward for me. 'She said, "I want you to do that." Then I said "something else' in reply.' that indirection felt like it would be untenable over any significant stretch of scene.

I broke down and had her say 'Set the Wayback Machine to two years ago...' a scene change marker, then for the only time in the story, she became the viewpoint character, then another scene change marker and back to MMC as the POV.

It's the only place in the story where the MMC wasn't the viewpoint.

I wasn't totally happy with the result.

For scenes like that, you want to think about what details are most pertinent and foremost in the teller's mind. Usually, you wouldn't have direct quotes when saying something.

So, for example: "She told me she wanted me to do that." rather than "She said, 'I want you to do that.'"

It's a more natural way of speaking. For something like that, it's almost exclusively tell, since most people when talking don't bog others down with extraneous details like what color the walls of the restaurant were, or the smell of the spice in the air, as they propose or break up with someone at the restaurant. It's primarily emotional beats, and you'd only one direct attribution when the words themselves are very important and specific, something that really stuck out in the teller's mind. Ex: "She said, 'Bob, I think we should talk.'" instead of "She said she thought we should talk." Because those words are a key emotional beat, and pivotal, with a greater impact when directly stated vs. paraphrased.

What's more important for a non-POV character when they tell a story like that is how it emotionally impacted them, what they took away from it. It may or may not be accurate, which to me is always delicious, because does the other person believe them, or suspect that they're covering up or viewing it from a different perspective? That disblief or uncertainty might not be what you want to do, or even fit the scene, but it's a fun angle when it pops up, and whether someone believes the other person without reservation or has a slight bit of doubt or doesn't believe a word says a lot about their relationship.

 

[EmilyMiller]

February 14 2024​

I sat on a tall stool, one of two next to a small, circular table. The other was empty. I was in the bar section of a restaurant that I loved, but I had no plans to eat. Indeed, I had no plans at all. I'd chosen a nice dress, one suitable for the venue. All the better to blend in, I guess. People would probably assume I was awaiting a tardy significant other.

And I was, At least supposedly. But my Ex was very late, and I strongly suspected that she wouldn't be coming. Why had she said that she would? Had her boyfriend been indiscreet? Was it some kind of payback? Just one more knife twisted in my already shredded flesh?

I poured myself another glass of Champagne and put the bottle back in its ice bucket. I thought, a little ruefully, that its contents were rather depleted. I'd been drinking too much, I knew. I needed to get a grip on that. Not least as I knew Mom and Dad were relying on me.

But I had shadows. I had clearly failed to leave the darkest umbra behind me when returning from San Francisco. The nightmarish shadow of... it. And I had shadows from this, my home town, too. Old shadows related to this evening's missing companion. And also brand new ones to do with another woman. I reflected that it was complicated enough having one unrequited love; two seemed like carelessness.

Just thinking about it, I felt my heart rate quicken, my breathing deepen, and a familiar pit open in my stomach. Raising my hand a little off the table, I could see it quivering. I wanted to run, to run away from it, to be safe. Instead, I drained my glass, and poured yet another one.

As I became increasingly buzzed, the noise of the room seemed to dim. The colors and shapes of my surroundings blurred and faded to gray. And my mind took me back to precisely twelve months ago.

-- -- --

February 14 2023​

The club was loud. That was kinda the point: A Valentine's Night party for gay singletons.

Was I really that desperate? This was Hook-up City, and I guess that's just what I was looking for. Something to fill my over-active brain for just a while. The sound system was blaring out community standards. When Party in the USAcame on, there was really no alternative to getting out there and dancing.

 

[SkyBubble]

Not actual time travel, just shifting the narrative to something that happened in the recent past.

How do you feel about it using it to set the hook on a story, using a surprising or provocative scene? Then jumping back in time a week or so to explain how the character(s) got into this situation? To date I haven't tried it, preferring to use good dialog to catch the readers interest. But I've got a story idea that this might work with.

I see it used occasionally in movies and TV and I'm on the fence on how I feel about. It seems a little tricksy and when I read a story that uses it I'm just a touch disappointed.

Opinions?

One of my characters' defining trauma happened in high school (nothing sexual) and she built walls as a result, which are now eroding thanks to her friends and especially her boyfriend. Occasionally, that night sneaks up on her and we get a sentence or two of how it's affecting her in the moment.

 

[big_cane_sugar]

Maybe the oldest surviving story in Western literature is the Odyssey, and if Homer's muse could begin a story wherever she liked then so can ours.

IMO the question is much deeper, and the Odyssey is actually the perfect example to consider. The question is not merely which scene should cum first, but which should cum second, which should cum third, and so on. (Sorry. Sometimes I have fun.) Every scene in every story has to appear where it appears for a reason. "It happened next" can be a legitimate reason but "it's most interesting here" and "it's most relevant here" and "fuck it this is where I want it and everyone who doesn't like it can one-star this bitch and kiss my literary arse" are all even better reasons.

 

[StrentWriter]

Not actual time travel, just shifting the narrative to something that happened in the recent past.

How do you feel about it using it to set the hook on a story, using a surprising or provocative scene? Then jumping back in time a week or so to explain how the character(s) got into this situation? To date I haven't tried it, preferring to use good dialog to catch the readers interest. But I've got a story idea that this might work with.

I see it used occasionally in movies and TV and I'm on the fence on how I feel about. It seems a little tricksy and when I read a story that uses it I'm just a touch disappointed.

Opinions?

Literally how my first novel here is written: deliberately out of sequence, every act and chapter.