Joyrides

[Artina Heartflash]

What is this obsession guys have (especially Doms) with how many times they can *make* a woman cum? I realize some guys have been programmed to believe orgasms are necessary to enjoy sexual contact, but it's never been necessary for me to cum to enjoy erotic favors.

Think of this, guys: If your body enjoys whatever erotic touches it is given, but your energy level or blood flow or something inhibits orgasm, would you want to be denied all pleasurable touches from your partner because you can't cum?


I am able to cum by my own hand...but because I don't have a hair trigger on my clit that fires off every couple minutes when a guy touches me, guys get to feeling like they're inadequate.
The main way I rate a guy inadequate is if he is not a *giver* enough to continue to pleasure me when my hips are grinding away... because heaven knows that's a sure sign I'm enjoying it, with or without orgasm

I need someone who enjoys the ride, rather than concentrating on the destiny. Sex should be a sensual sharing of pleasure, a joyride, not an ego trip.

Aren't there any men who realize this?! Speak up, smart darlins!

 

[ckb1978]

I agree. I think that is one reason sex with my fiancee is so great. I know that she has never cum during sex and it is a feat in it self to get her off during oral. But I KNOW that she loves it and that in it self gets me off.

 

[midwestyankee]

The journey with a thousand endings begins with a single kiss.

 

[BoredinCA]

I completely agree with you. Believe it or not as a guy I usually cum when I have sex but I don’t necessarily get a pleasurable orgasm so I am with you in the respect that I can understand just wanting the pleasure of touching and being touched with such a goal orientated sexuality. I found a long time ago that if I removed all the goals from sex such as giving or receiving an orgasm than sex is way better. However I have found that woman actually think the same way men do. For some reason it can sometimes take me a very long time to cum and sometimes with oral it can take 45 minutes or longer. If I am with a woman I have never been with before then I actually wont cum at all no matter how good or how long she stays at it. Believe it or not I tell woman not to worry about it and that it feels really wonderful keeping me on that edge however they really do get upset over it.

Before my wife and I were married and we were just seeing each other she would try like hell to make me cum and couldn’t but I can still remember the day I finally let loose with an orgasm that just completely overcame me. I made so much noise….LOL anyways to my amazement she got so excited she became almost obsessed with my cock sucking down every drop which really shocked the hell out of me. Believe it or not she had an orgasm too right there on her knees. Needless to say we are happily married and seven years later she gives the most fantastic blow job I have ever felt or seen to the point where I keep egging her on to write something about it.

Anyways, I am a multi-orgasmic male and when other men ask me about how I do it I basically tell them to remove the goals, relax, slow things down and savor your partner allowing all the sensations and feelings to flow through your body. I have found that by removing all the goals from sex and becoming more expressive during sex the woman I have been with enjoyed it much more. Although I use to have to be very careful which woman I went to bed with because some woman are not use to a guy that’s a screamer, talker ect.

Orgasms find there way all by themselves without having to egg them on any and all the woman I have been with since I have developed this attitude had no problem at all having orgasms in fact my wife tells me that it is very rare for her not to have one.

I however always ask if it was a good orgasm not because I expect a woman to have one or consider it my goal but because I hate being lied to. A long time ago someone lied to me and for some stupid reason it has become a habit to ask. I really hate it when woman are not honest with there partners.

I have had a couple of girlfriends in the past that had never had a orgasm with a guy and had just learned how to fake it. Once I got them to be honest with me in bed so that I could ‘read’ what was going on I was able to teach them to Orgasm more easily and they had both orgasms with me and sex partners that they had after me. For the most part I think they couldn’t orgasm to begin with because of stress and pressure placed on them by previous partners. I think once all is said and done a lot people just don’t get the point when it comes to human sexuality and use it more to provide proof of adequacy and ego rather than celebrating our human existence and exposing our innermost selves with the ones we love.

 

[Artina Heartflash]

AHHH---*breathing sigh of relief* There ARE enlightened fellows still in the world.*** ***



Thank you!.

 

[sexyramlo]

Agree with you too. Pleasure is not the orgasm but the entire session before. The orgasm is the end of the pleasure. Of course guys come easy and sometimes very easy. But they can continue to pleasure the woman till her end.

I always love pleasing a woman and making her feel how good she makes me feel. Respect your partner and know him is the best formula! Not know what he likes in bed but know him inside. And for the man know the woman inside before you go to bed. The pleasure is unlimited! I know! And I think you know also.

 

[zhukov1943]

With my last partner, I used to have trouble reaching orgasm. She got REALLY wet, so maybe I just wasn't getting enough rough "stimulation", but I was really having a great time, anyway!

I think it used to bother her, though, that I didn't come every time...

 

[Saint inda City]

i'm a guy and i'm with you on this, Artina. it took some enlightening of course.....

but we've had lots of fun that wasn't measured in orgasms.