Jokes

[wally2450]

The New Element

Recent hurricanes and climatic issues are proof of the existence of a new chemical element.

Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction (that would normally take less than a second) any time from four days to four years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of two to six years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which some of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

Any questions?

 

[mayqsweat]

Wally, you kill me brotha....I don't have any jokes, but always like to stop by here to get a laugh. You need a stage brotha. LOL...THANKS!

 

[wally2450]

I have some neighbors that are lesbians and they have a child. It
occurred to me that in this day of age of increasing lesbian couples
that have children, it brings a whole new meaning to one kid taunting
another when he says "My mom can lick your mom any time."

The jury in the Phil Spector murder trial is hung, judge says. Maybe
I am a bit sensitive but is CNN trying to sneak in a little porn?
(Marsha Coleman)

To truly love another, you must first love yourself...And it wouldn't
hurt to wash your hands in between.

 

[SecretLove69]

Subject: The Problem with Outsourcing

Was depressed last night so I called Lifeline.
Got a call center in Pakistan.
Told them I was suicidal.
They got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane.

 

[wally2450]

http://www.pixcastle.com/pic/7320VMGVv/204379.jpg

 

[wally2450]

Route 66

Two good friends are out driving on Route 66 and one
guy has to take a leak. Being in the middle of nowhere
they pull over by some shrubbery and the guy goes to
relieve himself.

Suddenly, he screams "Aaagh! A rattler bit my cock!"

"Relax!" says his friend, "I'll go find a pay phone
and call a doctor." So his friend drives off and finds
a pay phone, call a doctor and asks what he should do.

"Well," said the doc," you must cut crosses in the wound
and suck out the poison."

"Is that the only way Doc?" asked the man.

"Yes, you must do that or he'll die."

He finally gets back to friend and his friend asked "So,
what did the doctor say?"

"You're gonna die, buddy. You're gonna die."

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-



Ice-cream

A husband, wife and a son walk into an ice-cream shop.
The dad says, "I'll have a chocolate." The wife says,
"I'll have a vanilla."

Then the dad slaps his son in the back of the head and
says, "What do you want, fat head?"

The lady helping them says, "Why did you hit him in the
back of the head and call him fat head?"

The husband says, "There are three things in life a man
wants:

The first thing is a nice big truck. And you see that
nice big truck sitting out there??? That's my nice
truck!!!

The second thing in life a man wants is a nice big house.
You seen that nice big house on top of the hill on the
edge of town? That's my big house!!!

The third thing in life a man wants is a nice tight
pussy, and I had that until fat head came along!!!"

 

[Succulent-one]

CHICAGO SLANG

1. Grachki (grach'-key): Chicagoese for "garage key" as in, "Yo, Theresa, waja do wit da grachki? Howmy supposta cut da grass if I don't git intada grach?"

2. Sammich: Chicagoese for sandwich. When made with sausage, it's a sassage sammich; when made with shredded beef, it's an Italian Beef sammich, a local delicacy consisting of piles of spicy meat in a perilously soggy bun.

3. Da: This article is a key part of Chicago speech, as in "Da Bears" or "Da Mare" -- the latter denoting Richard M. Daley, or Richie, as he's often called.

4. Jewels: Not family heirlooms or a tender body region, but a popular name for one of the region's dominant grocery store chains. "I'm goin' to the Jewels to pick up some sassage."

5. Field's: Marshall Field, a prominent Chicago department store. Also Carson Pirie Scott, another major department store chain, is simply called " Carson 's."

6. Tree: The number between two and four. "We were lucky dat we only got tree inches of snow da udder night."

7. Over by dere: Translates to "over by there," a way of emphasizing a site presumed familiar to the listener. As in, "I got the sassage at the Jewels down on Kedzie, over by dere."

8. Kaminski Park : The mispronounced name of the ballpark where the Chicago White Sox (da Sox) play baseball. Comiskey Park was renamed U.S. Cellular Field (da Cell)

9. Frunchroom: As in, "Get outta da frunchroom wit dose muddy shoes." It's not the "parlor." It's not the "living room." In the land of the bungalow, it's the "frunchroom," a named derived, linguists believe, from "front room."

10. Use: Not the verb, but the plural pronoun 'you!' "Where use goin'?"

11. Downtown: Anywhere near The Lake, south of The Zoo (Lincoln Park Zoo)
and north of Soldier Field.

12. The Lake: Lake Michigan (What other lake is there?) It's often used by local weathermen, "cooler by The Lake."

14. Braht: Short for Bratwurst. "Gimme a braht wit kraut."

15. Goes: Past or present tense of the verb "say." For example, "Den he goes, 'I like this place'!"

16. Guys: Used when addressing two or more people, regardless of each individual's gender.

17. Pop: A soft drink. Don't say "soda" in this town. "Do ya wanna canna pop?"

18. Sliders: Nickname for hamburgers from White Castle , a popular Midwestern burger chain. "Dose sliders I had last night gave me da runs."

19.. The Taste: The Taste of Chicago Festival, a huge extravaganza in Grant Park featuring samples of Chicagoland cuisine which takes place each year around the Fourth of July holiday.

20. "Jeetyet?": Translates to, "Did you eat yet?"

21. Winter and Construction: Punch line to the joke, "What are the two seasons in Chicago ?"

22. Cuppa Too-Tree: is Chicagoese for "a couple, two, three" which really means "a few." For example, "Hey Mike, dere any beerz left in da cooler over by dere?"
"Yeh, a cuppa too-tree."

23. 588-2300: Everyone in Chicago knows this commercial jingle and the carpet company you'll get if you call that number -- Empire!

24. Junk Dror: You will usually find the 'junk drawer' in the kitchen filled to the brim with miscellaneous, but very important, junk.

25. Southern Illinois : Anything south of I-80. This is where Smothers' is from....

26. Expressways: The Interstates in the immediate Chicagoland area are usually known just by their 'name' and not their Interstate number: the Dan Ryan ("da Ryan"), the Stevenson, the Kennedy (da "Kennedy"), the Eisenhower (da "Ike"), and the Edens (just "Edens" but Da Edens" is acceptable).

27. Gym Shoes: The rest of the country may refer to them as sneakers or running shoes but Chicagoans will always call them gym shoes! =============

 

[mac616n]

"A Redneck Wedding Night"

Billy Joe and Mary Sue, newly joined in holy matrimony, are spending their wedding night at the Motel 6 Honeymoon Suite in Sacramento, California.

They've abstained from the dirty deed until this very night.

Just as Billy Joe is about to make love to his new wife for the first time, she stops him. "Wait, Billy Joe. I just thought you should know... this ain't just our first time... this here is my first time, ever. I'm a virgin. I been savin' myself just for you."

"Whut you say, Mary Sue?"

"I said, I'm a virgin. One hunnert percent cherry. Just for you on our weddin' night."

"Yore a VIRGIN??"

"That's right. Please be gentle."

"Gentle? Gentle my ass. I'm outta here!"

With that, Billy Joe pulls up his pants, erection and all, and leaves his virgin bride lying alone and naked. He slams the door, jumps in his pickup, and drives back home across the tracks.

"Paw! Paw! Wake up! Yore not gonna believe this!"

"Huh? Billy Joe, whut the hell you doin' here? It's 3am on yore weddin' night! Why the hell ain't you and that purty new wife of yours in a haystack somewhere fuckin' like rabbits?"

"Paw, I wuz all set to do just that, when Mary Sue up and tells me that she's a virgin!"

"A VIRGIN?"

"That's right, Paw. One hunnert percent cherry. As soon as she told me, I got the hell outta there as fast as I could!"

"Well, son, lemme tell you, you did the right thing...Cuz if she ain't good enough fer her own fam'ly, she certainly ain't good enough for ours!"

 

[mac616n]

A cowboy is driving down a back road near Cotulla, Texas.

A sign in front of a restaurant reads:

Happy Hour Special...
Lobster Tail and Beer

"Lord almighty" he says to himself, "my three favorite things!"

 

[mac616n]

Surgery

The night before my bypass surgery, the doctor wanted me to take a shower; which was fine with me, after three days of using a basin and washcloth.

As I walked down the hall, I had a Nurse on either side. The one asked, "Are you going to me able to manage OK?"

I said, "I feel weak and dizzy. Perhaps both of you would be kind enough to get in the shower with me."

The little blonde nurse looked up and said, "Nice try."

 

[mac616n]

Sensations and Stimulations

A man was visiting his wife in hospital where she had been in a coma for several years. On this visit he decides to rub her left breast instead of just talking to her. On doing this, she lets out a sigh.

The man runs out and tells the doctor, who says this is a good sign and suggests he should try rubbing her right breast to see if there is any reaction. The man goes in and rubs her right breast and this brings a moan.

From this, the doctor suggests that the man should go in and try oral sex, saying he will wait outside as it is a personal act and he doesn't want the man to be embarrassed.

The man goes in and then comes out about five minutes later, white as a sheet and tells the doctor his wife is dead. The doctor asked what happened.

The man replied, "She choked."

 

[Succulent-one]

BUSH BUMPER STICKERS

1.Already Smarter Than Bush (on an infant's t-shirt)

2 1/20/09: End of an Error

3 That's OK, I Wasn't Using My Civil Liberties Anyway

4 Let's Fix Democracy in THIS COUNTRY First

5 If You Want a Nation Ruled By Religion, Move to Iran

6 Bush: Like a Rock. Only Dumber.

7 You Can't Be Pro-War And Pro-Life At The Same Time

8 If You Can Read This, You're Not the President

9 Of Course It Hurts: You're Getting Screwed by an Elephant

10 Hey, Bush Supporters: Embarrassed Yet?

11 George Bush: Creating the Terrorists Our Kids Will Have to Fight

12 Impeachment: It's Not Just for Sex Anymore

13 2004: Embarrassed; 2005: Horrified; 2006: Terrified

14 America : One Nation, Under Surveillance

15 They Call Him "W"! (So He Can Spell It)

16 Cheney/Satan '08

17 Jail to the Chief

18 No, Seriously, Why Did We Invade?

19 Bush: God's Way of Proving Intelligent Design is Full Of Crap

20 Bad president! No Banana.

21 We Need a President Who's Fluent In At Least One Language

22 We're Making Enemies Faster Than We Can Kill Them

23 Is It Vietnam Yet?

24 Bush Doesn't Care About White People, Either

25 Where Are We Going? And Why Are We In This Handbasket?

26 You Elected Him. You Deserve Him.

27 When Bush Took Office, Gas Was $1.46 (can you believe this?)

28 The Republican Party: Our Bridge to the 11th Century

 

[Succulent-one]

Ptarmigan Subject: FW: charting considerations to avoid


I came across this memo and thought you'd like the terms... Radiology Memorandum

To:??All Radiologic Technologists


From:? Chief of Radiology


Subject: Proper Narrative Descriptions


I believe some techs have been hanging out with the fire department and other EMT's and picked up on some unacceptable abbreviations. It has come to our attention from several emergency rooms that many techs narratives have taken a decidedly creative direction lately. Effective immediately, all members are to refrain from using slang and abbreviations to describe patients, such as the following.


1) Cardiac patients should not be referred to with MUH (messed up heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or HIBGIA (had it before, got it again).


2) Stroke patients are NOT "Charlie Carrots." Nor are rescuers to use CCFCCP (Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to describe their mental state.


3) Trauma patients are not CATS (cut all to sh*t), FDGB (fall down, go boom), TBC (total body crunch) or "hamburger helper." Similarly, descriptions of a car crash do not have to include phrases like "negative vehicle to vehicle interface" or "terminal deceleration syndrome."


4) HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals, not "glow worms."


5) Persons with altered mental states as a result of drug use are not considered "pharmaceutically gifted."


6) Gunshot wounds to the head are not "Trans-occipital implants."


7) The homeless are not "urban outdoorsmen", nor is endotracheal intubation referred to as a "PVC Challenge".


8) And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as being "paws up," ART (assuming room temperature), CC (Cancel Christmas), CTD (circling the drain), or NLPR (no long playing records).


I know you will all join me in respecting the cultural diversity of our patients to include their medical orientations in creating proper narratives and log entries.

 

[Succulent-one]

Eight Words with two Meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male..... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

 

[mac616n]

Seconds?

Seconds?

The recently married couple split up shortly after the wedding...

The trouble started when the husband arrived home from work and found his new wife lying naked on the couch.

"What's for dinner?" he asked.

"Pussy," she replied.

"Damn," the husband spat. "I already had that for lunch."

 

[mac616n]

"Gravely Gift"

"Gravely Gift"

One year, a particular harried husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.

The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

 

[Succulent-one]

Little Carol came into the kitchen where her mother was making dinner.
Christmas was coming up and she thought this was a good time to tell
her mother what she wanted. "Mom, I want a bike for Christmas."
Now, Little Carol was a bit of a troublemaker. She had gotten into
trouble at school and at home. Carol's mother asked her if she thought
she deserved to get a bike for Christmas. Little Carol, of course,
thought she did.

Carol's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted her to reflect on her
behavior over the last year, and write a letter to God and tell him why
she deserved a bike for Christmas. Little Carol stomped up th e steps
to her room and sat down to write God a letter.

LETTER 1:
Dear God:
I have been a very good girl this year and I would like a bike for Christmas. I want a red one.

Your friend,
Carol

Carol knew this wasn't true. She had not been a very good girl this year, so
she tore up the letter and started over.

LETTER 2:
Dear God:
This is your friend Carol. I have been a pretty good girl this year, and I
would like a red bike for Christmas.
Thank you,
Carol

Carol knew this wasn't true either. She tore up the letter and started
again.

LETTER 3:
Dear God:

I know I haven't been a good girl this year. I am very sorry. I will be
a good girl if you just send me a red bike for Christmas.
Thank you,
Carol

Carol knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get her a
bike. By now, she was very upset. She went downstairs and told her
mother she wanted to go to church. Carol's mother thought her plan had
worked because Carol looked very sad.

"Just be home in time for dinner," her mother said.

Carol walked down the street to the church and up to the altar. She
looked around to see if anyone was there. She picked up a statue of the Virgin
Mary, slipped it under her jacket and ran out of the church, down the
street, into her house, and up to her room. She shut the door and sat
down and wrote her letter to God.

LETTER 4:
I GOT YOUR MAMA.
IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE.
Signed,
YOU KNOW WHO

 

[Succulent-one]

By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND "TENJOOBERRYMUDS"...

In order to continue getting-by in America (our home land), we all need to learn
the NEW English language! Practice by reading the following conversation until
you are able to understand the term "TENJOOBERRYMUDS".

With a little patience, you'll be able to fit right in.

Now, here goes...

The following is a telephone exchange between maybe you as a hotel guest and
call room-service somewhere in the good old U S A today......

Room Service : "Morrin. Roon sirbees."

Guest : "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

Room Service: " Rye. Roon sirbees...morrin! Joowish to o ddor sunteen???"

Guest: "Uh..... Yes, I'd like to order b acon and eggs."

Room Service: "Ow July den?"

Guest: ".....What??"

Room Service: "Ow July den?!?... pryed, boyud, poochd?"

Guest: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry.. scrambled, please."

Room Service: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"

Guest: "Crisp will be fine."

Room Service: "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"

Guest: "What?"

Room Service: "An toes. July Sahn toes?"

Guest: "I... don't think so."

Room Service: "No? Judo wan sahn toes???"

Guest: "I feel really bad about th is, but I don't know w hat 'judo wan sahn toes'
means."

Room Service: "Toes! Toes!...Why Joo don Juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin e bodder?"

Guest: "Oh, English muffin!!! I've got it! You were sayin g 'toast'...
Fine...Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

Room Service: "We bodder?"
< BR>Guest: "No, just put the bodder on the side."

Room Service: "Wad?!?"

Guest: "I mean butter... just put the butter on the side."

Room Service: "Copy?"

Guest: "Excuse me?"

Room Service: "Copy...tea..meel?"

Guest: "Yes. Coffee, please... and that's everything."

Room Service: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we bodder on sigh and copy ... rye??"

Guest: "Whatever you say."

Room Service: "Tenjooberrymuds."

Guest: "You're welcome"

Remember I said "By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND 'TENJOOBERRYMUDS' ".....and you do, don't you!

 

[Succulent-one]

WHAT TEACHERS WOULD REALLY LIKE TO PUT ON REPORT CARDS

#1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

#2. I would not allow this student to breed.

#3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.

#4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

#5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

#6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

#7. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.

#8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

#9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

#10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

#11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000
others.

#12. This child has been working with glue too much.

 

[Succulent-one]

Power of Prayer?

A new bar/tavern was under construction in a small mid-western, conservative town . With petitions and prayers, the local Baptist church started a campaign to block the bar from opening .

Work progressed, however, righ t up until the week before opening, when a lightning strike hit the bar, and it burned to the ground. The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, until the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church was ultimately responsible for the destruction of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means.

The church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise in its reply to the court. As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork at the hearing and commented, "I don't know how I'm going to decide this, but as it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner that believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that doesn't."

 

[Succulent-one]

Two 90-year-old women, Rose and Barb,

had been friends all of their lives.
When it was clear that Rose was dying,

Barb visited her every day. One day Barb

said, 'Rose, we both loved playing women's

softball all our lives, and we played all

through High School. Please do me one favor:
when you get to Heaven, somehow you must

let me know if there's women's soft-ball there.'

Rose looked up at Barb from her deathbed

and said, 'Barb, you've been my best friend for

many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favor
for you.' Shortly after that, Rose passed on.

At midnight a few nights later, Barb was awakened

from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light

and a voice calling out to her, 'Barb, Barb.'

'Who is it?' asked Barb, sitting up suddenly.

'Who is it?'

'Barb -- it's me, Rose.'

'You're not Rose. Rose just died.'

'I'm telling you, it's me, Rose,' insisted the voice.

'Rose! Where are you?'

'In Heaven,' replied Rose. 'I have some really

good news and a little bad news.'

'Tell me the good news first,' said Barb.

'The good news,' Rose said, 'is that there's Softball

in Heaven. Better yet, all of our old buddies who died

before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young

again. Better still, it's always springtime, and it never

rains or snows. And best of all, we can play softball all

we want, and we never get tired.'

'That's fantastic,' said Barb. 'It's beyond my wildest

dreams! So what's the bad news?'

'You're pitching Tuesday.'

 

[Succulent-one]

A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" ... The man says, "Methodist." ... St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."

Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. "Religion?" ... "Baptist." ... "Go to room 18, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."

A third man arrives at the gates. "Religion?" ... "Jewish." ... "Go to room 11, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."

The man says, "I can understand there being different rooms for different religions, but why must I be quiet when I pass room 8?"

St. Peter tells him, "Well, the Catholics are in room 8, and they think they're the only ones here."

 

[Succulent-one]

THE LAWS OF LIFE

& Law of Mechanical Repair- After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

& Law of the Workshop - Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

& Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

& Law of the Telephone - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

& Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

& Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

& Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

& Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

& Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

& Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

& Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

& Law of Coffee - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

& Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

& Law of Rugs/Carpets - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

& Law of Location - No matter where you go, there you are.

& Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

& Brown's Law - If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

& Oliver's Law - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

& Wilson's Law - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. (this one is true every time!)

& Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

 

[Succulent-one]

At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle on the meaning of the word "service". The act of doing things for other people.


Then I heard these service terms:

Internal Revenue Service,



Postal Service,



Civil Service,



Telephone Service,



Service Stations,



A O L Service Desk,



Yahoo Customer Service,



City/County Public Service.



And I became confused about the word "service.

This is not what I thought "service" meant.



Then one day, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them mentioned that he was having a bull service a few of his cows.

SHAZAM!! It all came into perspective. Now I understand what all those "service" agencies are doing to us...

 

[mac616n]

A new study says that having sex decreases your chances of getting a cold. The more sex you have, the less you'll have a cold. Just wait until guys get hold of this. A woman sneezes and he'll be saying, "Hey, I've got something for that."