Jokes

OK SO HERE A TEST FOR EVERYONE LOL


The Shower Test/Quiz

When you step into a shower, which part of the body do you wash first?

a) chest
b) face
c) armpits
d) hair
e) privates
f) shoulders
g) others








The following describes your character:

a) Chest - You are practical person. Straightforward and do not beat around the bush. To you, convenience is of paramount importance. You hate to be distracted when concentrating and are impatient with people who do not see things your way. You are a good sex partner and are willing to try new things. Your best partner in life will be those who chose d) hair.

b) Face - Money is important to you and you will do anything to get it. Integrity and dignity is not important. You feel that friends are there to be used and life is one big hassle. Other people find it hard to understand you but you are not concerned as to what they think. Very self-centred person. Average sex partner as you are too selfish and tend to be absorbed in self pleasure at the expense of your partner. Your best partner in life will be those who chose e) privates and g) others.

c) Armpits - You are a dependable and hard working person. Generally very popular person as you are very down to earth and willing to help others. Tend to get yourself into trouble as you cannot tell whether people are genuine towards you. Make very poor sex partners as you are the working type with average talent. Your best partner in life will be those who chose f) shoulders.

d) Hair - Artistic type. Daydreaming is your hobby but you can achieve what most other people cannot. Dedication is lacking but you will work tirelessly towards goals which are to your liking. Money is not important. Friends are but only intellectuals and fellow artistic types. Make the best sex partners as you are most willing to explore and please the other partner. Talent is your main strength. Your best partner in life will be those who chose a) chest and e) privates.

e) Privates - Shy type. You lack self confidence and tend to be bullied by others. You do not have lots of friends as others find you boring and unattractive. Perseverance is not your strength and you tend to give up easily and at the first opportunity. However, you make an above average sex partner. You are able to show your true emotions to very few people. Hence in sex, you find your inner strengths. Your best partner in life will be those who chose b) face and d) hair.

f) Shoulder - A born loser. You fail in everything that you do. People dislike you and you tend to spend your time alone. Your type have been known to be heavy gamblers and drinkers. You see the world as a living hell. Money and power is also important to you. But your luck will always fail you. You make a lousy sex partner. You will find it difficult to find a partner in life. Those who chose c) armpits are your only chance.

g) Others - You are a very average person. Undoubtedly, you have your inner strengths but people find it hard to see. You must learn to be a little bit more adventurous and sell your potential. Deep down, you are a very likeable person with very few faults. However, the key will be to make your strengths stand out and not just hide your weaknesses. You are an average sex partner. You have great fantasies about different techniques but unfortunately are not brave enough to try them out. Your best partner in life will be those who chose b) face.
 
LOL... sorry for the arrows... I tried!

This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson
>University. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned
>it.
>
>It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.
>After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a
>microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for
>coming, many
>from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially
>wanted to
>thank the bride's family and his family and to thank his new
>father-in-law for providing
>such a lavish reception.
>
>As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a
>
>special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair,
>including the
>wedding party, was a manila envelope. He said this was his gift to
>everyone, and asked
>them to open their envelope. Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10
>glossy of his
>bride having sex with the best man.
>
>The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a
>Private detective to tail them.
>
>After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a
>couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, "Fuck you!". Then
>he turned to his
>bride and said, "Fuck you!". Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and
>said, "I'm
>outta here."
>
>He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning.
>
>While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after
>finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as
>if nothing
>were wrong. His revenge...making the bride's parents pay over $32,000
>for a 300-guest
>wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best
>man's
>reputations in front of 300 friends and family members. This guy has
>balls the size of church
>bells. Do you think we might get a MasterCard "priceless" commercial out
>of this?
>
>Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and
>friends......$32,000. Wedding photographs commemorating the
>occasion.......................$3,000.
>Deluxe two week honeymoon accommodations in Maui.................$8,500.
>The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride
>humping the
>best man..........Priceless.
 
The following list of rules apply to each
person as they enter Texas. Know them and learn them.

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look
like an idiot.

2. Let's get this straight, it's called a
'gravel road,' I drive a pickup truck because
I need to. No matter how slow you drive,
you're going to get dust on your Lexus.
Drive it or get out the hell of the way.

3. We have pigs, cattle, and oil wells;
that's what they smell like to you. They
smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't
like it? I-10, I-20,and I-30 go east and
west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.

4. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar
car. We're real impressed. We have quarter
million dollar cotton strippers that we
drive three weeks a year.

5. So every person in every pickup waves.
It's called being friendly. Try to understand
the concept.

6. We all started hunting and fishing when
we were nine years old. Yeah, we saw "Bambi,"
too. We got over it.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of
doves are coming in, we will shoot it out of
your hand. You better hope you don't have it
up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah, we eat catfish, and crawdads. You
really want sushi and caviar? It's available
at the corner bait shop.

9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of
deer season. It's a religious holiday held
the closest Saturday to the first of November.

10. Any references to "corn fed" when talking
about our women will get you jack-slapped, by
our women.

11. We open doors for women. That applies to
everyone regardless of age.

12. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the
menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you
can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the
two pounds of ham and turkey.

13. When we fill out a table there are three
main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We
use three spices -- salt, pepper, and Tabasco
Sauce!

14. You bring "coke" into my house it better
be brown, wet, served over ice and plenty of
it! You bring "hooch" into my house it better
have 4 legs, a tail, and have a nose for quail,
dove, duck, teal, or pheasant. You bring "Mary
Jane" to my house she better be cute, know how
to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

15. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a
glass with two packets of sugar, some lemon,
and a long spoon.

16. High school football is as important here
as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site
more fun to watch.

17. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit into
the water hazards; it spooks the fish.

18. Colleges? Try Texas and Texas A&M. They
come outta there with an education and a love
for God and country, and they wave at passing
pickups when they come home for the holidays.

19. We have more Navy, Army, Marines, and Air
Force than any other state, so, "Don't Mess
With Texas," If you do it will get your butt
kicked by the best!

20. Our military is only used as a back up.
Per capita, each man, woman, and child owns
at least two firearms and has taken a NRA
Certified Shooter Education Course.

21. Also, remember what Governor Sam Houston
once said, "Texas can make it without the United
States, but the United States can't make it
without Texas. "
 
tonitits said:
The following list of rules apply to each
person as they enter Texas. Know them and learn them.

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look
like an idiot.

2. Let's get this straight, it's called a
'gravel road,' I drive a pickup truck because
I need to. No matter how slow you drive,
you're going to get dust on your Lexus.
Drive it or get out the hell of the way.

3. We have pigs, cattle, and oil wells;
that's what they smell like to you. They
smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't
like it? I-10, I-20,and I-30 go east and
west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.

4. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar
car. We're real impressed. We have quarter
million dollar cotton strippers that we
drive three weeks a year.

5. So every person in every pickup waves.
It's called being friendly. Try to understand
the concept.

6. We all started hunting and fishing when
we were nine years old. Yeah, we saw "Bambi,"
too. We got over it.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of
doves are coming in, we will shoot it out of
your hand. You better hope you don't have it
up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah, we eat catfish, and crawdads. You
really want sushi and caviar? It's available
at the corner bait shop.

9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of
deer season. It's a religious holiday held
the closest Saturday to the first of November.

10. Any references to "corn fed" when talking
about our women will get you jack-slapped, by
our women.

11. We open doors for women. That applies to
everyone regardless of age.

12. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the
menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you
can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the
two pounds of ham and turkey.

13. When we fill out a table there are three
main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We
use three spices -- salt, pepper, and Tabasco
Sauce!

14. You bring "coke" into my house it better
be brown, wet, served over ice and plenty of
it! You bring "hooch" into my house it better
have 4 legs, a tail, and have a nose for quail,
dove, duck, teal, or pheasant. You bring "Mary
Jane" to my house she better be cute, know how
to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

15. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a
glass with two packets of sugar, some lemon,
and a long spoon.

16. High school football is as important here
as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site
more fun to watch.

17. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit into
the water hazards; it spooks the fish.

18. Colleges? Try Texas and Texas A&M. They
come outta there with an education and a love
for God and country, and they wave at passing
pickups when they come home for the holidays.

19. We have more Navy, Army, Marines, and Air
Force than any other state, so, "Don't Mess
With Texas," If you do it will get your butt
kicked by the best!

20. Our military is only used as a back up.
Per capita, each man, woman, and child owns
at least two firearms and has taken a NRA
Certified Shooter Education Course.

21. Also, remember what Governor Sam Houston
once said, "Texas can make it without the United
States, but the United States can't make it
without Texas. "


YEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I WANT TO MOVE TO TEXAS ESPECIAL WHERE ALL THE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN ARE


THAT GREAT TONE ROFLOL
 
biggbear8 said:
OK SO HERE A TEST FOR EVERYONE LOL


The Shower Test/Quiz

When you step into a shower, which part of the body do you wash first?

a) chest
b) face
c) armpits
d) hair
e) privates
f) shoulders
g) others








The following describes your character:

a) Chest - You are practical person. Straightforward and do not beat around the bush. To you, convenience is of paramount importance. You hate to be distracted when concentrating and are impatient with people who do not see things your way. You are a good sex partner and are willing to try new things. Your best partner in life will be those who chose d) hair.

b) Face - Money is important to you and you will do anything to get it. Integrity and dignity is not important. You feel that friends are there to be used and life is one big hassle. Other people find it hard to understand you but you are not concerned as to what they think. Very self-centred person. Average sex partner as you are too selfish and tend to be absorbed in self pleasure at the expense of your partner. Your best partner in life will be those who chose e) privates and g) others.

c) Armpits - You are a dependable and hard working person. Generally very popular person as you are very down to earth and willing to help others. Tend to get yourself into trouble as you cannot tell whether people are genuine towards you. Make very poor sex partners as you are the working type with average talent. Your best partner in life will be those who chose f) shoulders.

d) Hair - Artistic type. Daydreaming is your hobby but you can achieve what most other people cannot. Dedication is lacking but you will work tirelessly towards goals which are to your liking. Money is not important. Friends are but only intellectuals and fellow artistic types. Make the best sex partners as you are most willing to explore and please the other partner. Talent is your main strength. Your best partner in life will be those who chose a) chest and e) privates.

e) Privates - Shy type. You lack self confidence and tend to be bullied by others. You do not have lots of friends as others find you boring and unattractive. Perseverance is not your strength and you tend to give up easily and at the first opportunity. However, you make an above average sex partner. You are able to show your true emotions to very few people. Hence in sex, you find your inner strengths. Your best partner in life will be those who chose b) face and d) hair.

f) Shoulder - A born loser. You fail in everything that you do. People dislike you and you tend to spend your time alone. Your type have been known to be heavy gamblers and drinkers. You see the world as a living hell. Money and power is also important to you. But your luck will always fail you. You make a lousy sex partner. You will find it difficult to find a partner in life. Those who chose c) armpits are your only chance.

g) Others - You are a very average person. Undoubtedly, you have your inner strengths but people find it hard to see. You must learn to be a little bit more adventurous and sell your potential. Deep down, you are a very likeable person with very few faults. However, the key will be to make your strengths stand out and not just hide your weaknesses. You are an average sex partner. You have great fantasies about different techniques but unfortunately are not brave enough to try them out. Your best partner in life will be those who chose b) face.

Well it says that I am an artistic type, lol. I couldn't be an artist if my life depended on it! But I like what is said about me. So did anyone else take the test or am I the only kooky one. So guys how about it? What type are you?
 
tonitits said:
Well it says that I am an artistic type, lol. I couldn't be an artist if my life depended on it! But I like what is said about me. So did anyone else take the test or am I the only kooky one. So guys how about it? What type are you?


toni it said i was dependable

guess its right lol
 
[url]http://superfunnypics.com/others/0001.jpg[/url]
 
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