Jessie's Girl Syndrome... How many of you.....?

[Jade]

One of my favorite songs from the 80s is called "Jessie's Girl." It is about a guy who wants his friend's girlfriend.


I was just curious as to how many of you have desired (not been attracted to but, DESIRED someone that was "off limits" (eg: someone was married, going out with your friend, etc.) Does it really make someone more attractive if they are "inaccessible?"

I ask this b/c my husband is a firm believer of the "When Harry met Sally" theorum. (The one that says a guy won't make friends with a girl unless he finds her attractive or is attracted to her).... I just CAN'T agree with that. I find it impossible to believe that all of my male friends think I am "attractive!" LOL


I just read the results of a poll on yahoo and the "yes" response to that question (of who found themself "desiring" someone "off limits") was around 33% for those who CURRENTLY felt that way.... and who knows about who had EVER felt that way! Of course, who knows what "off limits" can mean but.....



So, has anyone ever felt that way? If so, did you curb your feelings or let them flow (joe)?

I am not saying that I feel that way (or don't or anything at all)... I was just curious what the general consensus was around here that's all!


Simply amazing.

[Edited by Jade on 08-13-2000 at 08:05 AM]

 

[Merelan]

You are right about the off limits thing. It adds attraction and mystery to the relationship, escpecially when you feel the attraction is mutual. It can be fun to flirt and tease, but beware. Feed the flame long enough and it will burn you.

 

[SimplySouthern]

I refuse to answer on the grounds that it may incriminate me. Gentle readers of the Lit, BB, I choose to envoke my 5th amendment rights.

Actually...yeppers. I sure have. Lusted (bigtime) after both married men and men that were "off limits" to me.

I'm weak. I can't help it. I see a man in uniform and my lusty wenchlike mind goes into hyperdrive. *sigh* It's hard being me.

 

[Jade]

Merelan,

I certainly hope that wasn't directed at me b/c I meant it as a general question, not as a "confession."
But love the analogy all the same.

SS: ditto on the uniforms.

 

[Merelan]

Never meant it to be towards you, just a general remark.
Ever been the subject of someone's admiration, when you didn't want it. A boyfriends friend or relative? That's a tough one to deal with too.

 

[Cheyenne]

Guilty.

Feelings flowing freely in one case, being curbed in another. Both married men.

So sue me, I'm human.

 

[CreamyLady]

Ahem. I do more than lust; I actively sleep with a married man. I knew he was married from the beginning, too.

I do not recommend this for everyone. I really don't. However, in our case, it has been working fairly well for four years now.

I do feel, though, that if he were to suddenly announce that he and I should live together, I'd probably run for the hills.

 

[Patryn]

Sorry...well, actually, I'm really NOT sorry to say that I currently desire a married man. Would I desire him if he weren't married? I dunno, because I don't have the opportunity to find out. I wouldn't actively persue it, and we are mutually attracted to each other, but I think if he approached me right now about it, I don't think I could say no. That's also hard to say for sure, however, since he hasn't done that and probably won't. For now, it's just a fun flirting thing. He and I are friends as well, so now that I think about it, I probably wouldn't. I lost a close friendship because of sex, and I don't want to go throught that again.

 

[Rosebud]

Being unnattainable is a turn on...When someone is spoken for there is something that makes us see the desirable person more....Have I ever gone after a married man or lusted over one...yes.

 

[Jade]

WOW
I am totally amazed at these responses!

I really appreciate all of the honesty and openness.
This is really amazing to me... I think I will start a diff. thread in a few days about something that has been sorta bugging me...

OH, and Creamy... does his wife know? (just curious)

 

[Gary1]

OK you caught me ... so what ... what is the big deal ... I desire just like everyone else ... whatever ... I see, I smell, I touch, I ... wow ... of course it is unattainable ... but, then again, maybe, just maybe it is attainable ... nah, just kidding ... just looking, ... just a little fantasy ... well I'm human too, you know ... Oh for just one little touch, one little lick, one little kiss, one little .... hmmmmmm... I guess in response to your question ... yes.

 

[Bonnie Wee Lassie]

I have never been attracted to any of my friends boyfriends. I have always thought of them as just friends. I guess when I look at them all I see is my friends boyfriend. As for male friends no to that either. Maybe I a wierd or something. Now I have had on of my friends boyfriends come on to me but I was totally disgusted with him to degrade my friend for going behind her back and asking me out. That is one golden rule I won't break. Even though I break all the rest. LOL

Bonnie

 

[Skibum]

Interestig thread. Since I am married, anyone other than my wife is forbidden, but I do "lust after" quite a few, some on this board! That's probably more information than any of you want, so I'll shut up now (wouldn't want to force any legends to shut me up!).

 

[Rosebud]

Oh skibum...come here and let me make you a legend....*wicked smile*

 

[Jade]

Interestig thread. Since I am married, anyone other than my wife is forbidden, but I do "lust after" quite a few, some on this board! That's probably more information than any of you want, so I'll shut up now (wouldn't want to force any legends to shut me up!).

Skibum,... in a place of such open, honest and blatant sexually just emanating off the walls... should you really be surprised?

And since you are not acting on those feelings and seem to keep the very very well in check, I don't think you have a thing to worry about. Your wife is a lucky lady!

 

[Endlessly]

Eeeeeep. *shaking head* How bad is this?

I lust after a married man.. Who was recently ordained as a reverend.

It's sick. I mean, I lusted after him before he even ever MET his current wife.. And his wife is a blast, I love her to death. But if the man in question ever made a move, I'd jump him without question. He and I have been really good friends for a long time, and to this day I remember the day we met-- we ended up going to a church dinner and talking for hours like we were the only two people in the room. He backed off when he found out how young I was, but the attraction has never left.. Occasionally we're flirtatious, but it's never more than compliments.

I don't LIKE to lust after him, because I hate wanting what I can't have. Go figure.

 

[Skibum]

Oh skibum...come here and let me make you a legend....*wicked smile*

I'm starting to feel more lengendary by the minute!

 

[Jade]

Endlessly,

I know what you mean... I wish it didn't have to be like that.. life will just never make sense it seems.

PS: I am so jealous.. I wish I had a cool signiture like you and LL do... and why isn't she around; I miss her!

 

[Dreamer1]

Jade honey, since I too am married, everyone is off limits-damn! So I cannot answer your feelings about the unattainable being more attractive. As far as feelings for others, I let them flow but do keep them in check. I love to flirt, it is too fun to stop.

As for the When Harry Met Sally theorem, I disagree with it. I have too many female friends I would not consider "attractive, " in a physical sense.

I do have a lot of friends that say they would kill(hopefully not me) for what I have! I know they are referring to more than my career, home and children. My beautiful, sweet wife is a definite attraction to my single friends.

 

[Jade]

Jade honey, since I too am married, everyone is off limits-damn! So I cannot answer your feelings about the unattainable being more attractive.

Woah woah woah!
Why am I feeling so misunderstood today?

I am not trying to take anyone's husband or wife or anything... I was just asking a simple question... dammit... this is so annoying .. must have been something in the way I worded it all?

And I never said I agreed with the Harry met Sally thing, in fact, quite the opposite... only saying that my husband (who is also sweet!) happens to believe in that philosophy. Who knows, perhaps it makes him feel extra lucky to be wtih me when he thinks his friends want me, who knows with men?

Ugh men!
I knew I should have been a lesbian!
Sorry if it seems like I am going off on you Dreamer... my brain is very really fried right now...

 

[Dreamer1]

I never thought you were trying to take anyone dear. I knew that was your husband's theory not yours. I must have misstated something.

I am sure he does feel extra lucky to have you sweetie!

Sorry for the misunderstanding.
Men!!

[Edited by Dreamer1 on 08-13-2000 at 02:55 PM]

 

[Dreamer1]

Does it really make someone more attractive if they are "inaccessible?"

That was your question. I inadvertently said I could not answer your "feelings" about the unattainable being more attractive. You asked a question, these were not your feelings. I knew what you said and misstated something, not you dear. Sorry again.

[Edited by Dreamer1 on 08-13-2000 at 02:56 PM]

 

[CreamyLady]

OH, and Creamy... does his wife know? (just curious)

Officially, no. Unofficially, it is acceptable, as it is understood that I do not covet her position, and am discreet. No awkward phone calls, no visits to him in "her" part of town, etc.

As I said, I do not recommend this arrangement. We are older, and this kind of quasi-steadiness suits us. If anyone is looking for an exclusive partner, and has problems with possessiveness, avoid this kind of relationship altogether. It can really bite.

 

[Jade]

Dreamer:

Oh... okay well that makes more sense now... sorry if I jumped on you... I just had a number of bad (very bad) experiences with similar situations and similar misunderstandings beofore and just didn't want to feel like that was happening again.

Thanks for the clarification; I feel somewhat better now... enough to deal with titrations and precipitates? LOL not sure... but well enough to try? Yep!

 

[Never]

Oddly enough I consider all women to be off limits to me and, yes, the women I know that I haven't lusted after number few to none.

Then again, I might just be a pervert. Not quite sure there..
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