Jerichoisms

[Dar~]

My four year old daughter, Jericho, is the funniest little kid I have ever met, so I am starting this thread to comemorate her fablulous comentarry on our life. Feel free to add your childrens tidbits also.

David: Man baby, I could sure use a quickie before I go back to work.
Me: Okay honey (dragging him down the hall) I'll give you a quickie.
Jerichorunnin gdonw the hall after us) I want a cookie!!!
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Jericho: (after walking in on David and I having sex) Daddy did you put that in mommy's butt? That's okay daddy, you can put it in mommy's butt again. I love you.
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David:Jericho, if you clean up the toys in the living room, I'll give you some money.
Jericho: Ok daddy. (gives her coins, she puts them in her purse and goes about her business)

Next Day
David: Jericho, if you clean up the toys in the living room I'll give you some more money.

Jericho: (walks down the hall to her room gets her purse hands it to daddy) Here. you do it.
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David: Jericho, come here and give me smooches.
Jericho: Daddy, you're a dope smoker!

 

[TheEarl]

David:Jericho, if you clean up the toys in the living room, I'll give you some money.
Jericho: Ok daddy. (gives her coins, she puts them in her purse and goes about her business)

Next Day
David: Jericho, if you clean up the toys in the living room I'll give you some more money.

Jericho: (walks down the hall to her room gets her purse hands it to daddy) Here. you do it.

Oh, that is superb! She's quick to learn the way of the world.

JOI: Why the name Jericho?

The Earl

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Butt sex? Dope smoker? How old is this kid?


Reminds me of the time my son, who was in fourth grade and undergoing anti-drug indoctrination, brought his friends into the kitchen where I was having a cigarette, and said, "See, my Daddy uses drugs!"

Fucking D.A.R.E. program!

 

[impressive]

Son, at age 3, comes home from preschool during the week of Presidents' Day and proclaims:

George Washington was a president.
Bill Clinton was a president.
And, Hammerhead Lincoln was a president.

(We'd been to the National Aquarium the weekend before.)

(Then, he threw up on me.)

 

[carsonshepherd]

Jericho needs to get together with OhMissScarlett's little boy.

last time I visited, I was leaving to come back home and he put himself in front of the door, locked it and informed me,

"You're not leaving, you're stuck here with me forever."

(which prompted my friend OhMissScarlett to quip, "No honey, that's me.")

I love those two.

 

[impressive]

Daughter, when experiencing her first bout of diarrhea since infancy, wailed from the throne: "I want my old poop back!"

Son, just out of diapers, comes tearing through the living room, holding his ass and shouting, "Poop is coming! Poop is coming!"


Shit reigns in this family.

 

[cantdog]

At four, they're so individual! They get socialized when they go to school, and become quite conservative in just a couple of years, but at four, it's all them. Fours are more articulate and aware, less resolutely self-involved, too. Fours rock.

 

[Dar~]

Jericho: (driving into town) Mommy, I have to poop!
Me: Okay baby, hold it til we get to a toilet.
After getting to a restroom
Me: okay Jericho, go poop.
Jericho: I don't have to, my poop went back in my butt.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Jericho needs to get together with OhMissScarlett's little boy.

last time I visited, I was leaving to come back home and he put himself in front of the door, locked it and informed me,

"You're not leaving, you're stuck here with me forever."

(which prompted my friend OhMissScarlett to quip, "No honey, that's me.")

I love those two.

Yes, my kiddo is quite the character.
here are just a few memorable quotes:

"I love everyone, even the goofballs!"

"Get the hell out of the way, people, or my mom is gonna pee her pants!"

"You're not supposed to say "fuck" Grandpa, especially in front of Grandma."

(upon seeing the president on television during the election) "Hey, my dad ran over that guy's sign last night."

"You scared me out of the crap!" instead or "you scared the crap out of me."

 

[Guest]

Butt sex? Dope smoker? How old is this kid?


Reminds me of the time my son, who was in fourth grade and undergoing anti-drug indoctrination, brought his friends into the kitchen where I was having a cigarette, and said, "See, my Daddy uses drugs!"

Fucking D.A.R.E. program!

Tell me about it! Kid hid my beer for weeks.

 

[AppleBiter]

After church, my dad was standing in the lobby, socializing. This little boy approached him and informed him, very proudly, that his name was Mike. He then added, with the same amount of pride, "God's name is Howard."

My dad, intrigued, asked him, "How do you know that?"

The little boy said, "When we pray, we say 'Our Father who art in heaven, Howard be thy name.'"

 

[Guest]

"God's name is Howard."

No, it's Andy.

As the song goes,

"Andy walks with me"
"Andy talks with me"

 

[McKenna]

Butt sex? Dope smoker? How old is this kid?


Reminds me of the time my son, who was in fourth grade and undergoing anti-drug indoctrination, brought his friends into the kitchen where I was having a cigarette, and said, "See, my Daddy uses drugs!"

Fucking D.A.R.E. program!

Thanks Doc, this one had me rolling! (And I needed a good laugh.)

 

[Guest]