Ending Zingers, Flips?

[Five_Inch_Heels]

Suppose you do a story and at the very last paragraph, you flipped it all on the head.


Example ... what appears to be a typical partner A in control, seeming to 'make' the other partner B do things. A essentially leads B all though the story. Maybe it goes into light Dom/Sub territory. Maybe a couple at a sex club. Maybe neighbors dating. Maybe family stuff. It LOOKS like many others stories.

Then in the last paragraphs, B explains that it was all their doing. THEY were the one in control the whole time. B was really the more dominant and 'made' A act that way.



I hashed one out that never got past draft stage. A woman executive alone in her office late at night. A masked stranger forces in and takes her. Forceful, but not violent. Ripping clothes, but not harming her. Dialog includes her protesting and resisting.

Last paragraph has her reach into her purse and give the 'attacker' a check for $10,000 then thank them and ask if she passed the audition for admission to an exclusive club.

 

[Voboy]

I used to do this kind of thing all the time, and I still really enjoy it. My current WiP is going to have one.

 

[Bamagan]

Suppose you do a story and at the very last paragraph, you flipped it all on the head.


Example ... what appears to be a typical partner A in control, seeming to 'make' the other partner B do things. A essentially leads B all though the story. Maybe it goes into light Dom/Sub territory. Maybe a couple at a sex club. Maybe neighbors dating. Maybe family stuff. It LOOKS like many others stories.

Then in the last paragraphs, B explains that it was all their doing. THEY were the one in control the whole time. B was really the more dominant and 'made' A act that way.



I hashed one out that never got past draft stage. A woman executive alone in her office late at night. A masked stranger forces in and takes her. Forceful, but not violent. Ripping clothes, but not harming her. Dialog includes her protesting and resisting.

Last paragraph has her reach into her purse and give the 'attacker' a check for $10,000 then thank them and ask if she passed the audition for admission to an exclusive club.

It's a mixed bag, in my opinion. If the 'flip' is related to the kink by which the story was categorized, it doesn't come off as clever so much as deceptive. In general, audiences who are hoping to be served lesbian romance (for example) are probably less receptive than a generic audience if you serve them a MFF threesome without warning. I don't read much in NC/R these days, but the 'it was all a set-up' is basically a trope there, and not always appreciated.
A surprise ending that doesn't retroactively invalidate the supposed erotic content, on the other hand, usually seems to be pretty welcome.

 

[sinfantasy]

Not exactly a flip but I love a good tweast or surprise at the end. I think I did pretty good job at it in my story "Thawing heart's."

But honestly, it's not exactly a rewarding experience. Don't know what's the magic combo to get it just right but the efforts are too much and risk is significant as story might not land the way you intend it to.
No twist no surprises is safe bet, but then again if you want flex your creativity do it anyway.

 

[Rustyoznail]

Basically, every entry in the April Fools comp is this.

 

[NotWise]

Basically, every entry in the April Fools comp is this.

Yeah, pretty common and April Fools is probably the least popular special contest.

You have to watch out that your flip doesn't lose the audience you developed. Take your female executive in the OP, for example. You've set up a non-con story. If you flip it around at the end as you described it, then it's no longer a non-con story, and you're probably alienating the only readers that read that far. Maybe you shouldn't expect them to be very happy about it.

 

[Voboy]

Yeah, I should clarify: when I do my little flips at the end, I never do flips that materially change the fundamental nature of the story. As a reader, I'd dislike that.

They just serve to give the reader a final little chuckle.

 

[Rustyoznail]

Yeah, pretty common and April Fools is probably the least popular special contest.

You have to watch out that your flip doesn't lose the audience you developed. Take your female executive in the OP, for example. You've set up a non-con story. If you flip it around at the end as you described it, then it's no longer a non-con story, and you're probably alienating the only readers that read that far. Maybe you shouldn't expect them to be very happy about it.

Yep. My last AF story had a twist at the end that explained why mum wasn't freaking out about her kids fucking each other.

Except - I forget to add that sentence. It was there in my head, but I missed it every time I reread the story. It wasn't until someone commented on it that I realised I goofed big time and lost a lot of votes because of it. I fixed it after the comp was over.

 

[Rob_Royale]

Not exactly a flip but I love a good tweast or surprise at the end.

I've done that as well, but have learned that there's a fine line between a fun twist at the end and deus ex machina.

 

[TheWritingGroup]

A current WiP will have a zinger ending, to use your word. I think of them as "twist" endings. It isn't a flip, exactly. I do include clues, clever readers could figure out what I'm doing.

-Annie

 

[glynndah]

I like writing those kinds of stories. I have one that was very successful using that tactic.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

My twist endings are generally loathed by the average reader. They will straight up tell me in the comments.

Want a nice score, write safe and stay between the lines. Twist at your own risk.

 

[Comshaw]

I've done a couple with twisted endings. The best I think is this one: Dumb Blonde Neighbor It was well-received by most of the readers. There were some though that didn't seem to grasp the ending.


Comshaw

 

[StillStunned]

Flesh for Fantasy: "I know you were watching."

Judging by the comments and rating, the readers loved it.

 

[StillStunned]

Fun with Fingers: "You look like you need a cold drink. Did you enjoy the ride?"

This one didn't do too badly either.

 

[StillStunned]

Last one. Not A Soul: "Two survivors to come aboard."

The score took a dive recently, but three out of the four comments said they loved the dark ending. (The fourth was "the bad guys won, that sucks, lol".)

 

[Erozetta]

The last time I wrote a plot twist, I didn't even know I wrote a plot twist!


Two comments on "A Dreamy Birthday Kidnapping."

• Being old enough to have survived Season 9 of Dallas in real-time, I generaly don't care for that particular plot twist. But you have written an exception to the rule. Well-played!
  
  
• I loved the plot twit. Her waking up to it being a dream made the parts of the dream I wasn't that into feel more like a dream environment than reality looking back at it. Her subconscious reaching out to get everything out of an experience in the dream was very real and understandable and it was brought full circle in the fight with her brother at the end. Everything made sense and it was all around a very hot story. 5/5 and would read this again for the pure enjoyments. Great job.

When I titled it, I thought that negated any sort of shock and awe from the dream aspect. Apparently people still considered it a twist.

It ended up in I/T even though the only I was in a dream and there was no T as it ended up being an "Younger sister hooks up with brother's friend" story. There was also an all out orgy and gay male interactions. It still managed to hang on to a 4.58 even with me leaning into the "Don't do this in this category" aspects I included.

 

[nice90sguy]

Then in the last paragraphs, B explains that it was all their doing. THEY were the one in control the whole time. B was really the more dominant and 'made' A act that way.

As most of my stories are all about that exact, well-known paradox in D/s power exchange, I wouldn't call it a "zinger". The reader and writer both suspend disbelief, which is necessary to read, and write, stories from a submissive's POV. Both the writer and the reader "want to make" the dominant dominate in the story, and, by definition, if the dominant does what they're supposed to, namely act dominant, they're really pandering to the wishes of the submissive.

This is explored in depth (and the subtlety is lost on a lot of readers) in my "Training" story series, and in my (non-fiction) work with LLMs, where I "tell them", in carefully crafted system prompts, how to act dominant.

 

[Audiflex]

Suppose you do a story and at the very last paragraph, you flipped it all on the head.


Example ... what appears to be a typical partner A in control, seeming to 'make' the other partner B do things. A essentially leads B all though the story. Maybe it goes into light Dom/Sub territory. Maybe a couple at a sex club. Maybe neighbors dating. Maybe family stuff. It LOOKS like many others stories.

Then in the last paragraphs, B explains that it was all their doing. THEY were the one in control the whole time. B was really the more dominant and 'made' A act that way.



I hashed one out that never got past draft stage. A woman executive alone in her office late at night. A masked stranger forces in and takes her. Forceful, but not violent. Ripping clothes, but not harming her. Dialog includes her protesting and resisting.

Last paragraph has her reach into her purse and give the 'attacker' a check for $10,000 then thank them and ask if she passed the audition for admission to an exclusive club.

That’s a really cool twist! I love stories that flip expectations like that, it adds a whole new layer and makes readers rethink everything they just read. The sudden reveal in the last paragraph can be super effective if done right. It’s kind of like pulling the rug out from under them, leaving them with a whole different perspective on what just happened. Definitely an intriguing concept!

 

[BobbyBrandt]

I tend to focus more on cliff-hanger endings that build the readers' anticipation for the sequel.

The few times I have attempted to bring more of a "Hitchcock" twist to a story, it seems to fly over the heads of many readers here. In my latest story, the feedback indicates that the plot twists were better understood, and appreciated as a result.

 

[Lifestyle66]

Suppose you do a story and at the very last paragraph, you flipped it all on the head.


Example ... what appears to be a typical partner A in control, seeming to 'make' the other partner B do things. A essentially leads B all though the story. Maybe it goes into light Dom/Sub territory. Maybe a couple at a sex club. Maybe neighbors dating. Maybe family stuff. It LOOKS like many others stories.

Then in the last paragraphs, B explains that it was all their doing. THEY were the one in control the whole time. B was really the more dominant and 'made' A act that way.



I hashed one out that never got past draft stage. A woman executive alone in her office late at night. A masked stranger forces in and takes her. Forceful, but not violent. Ripping clothes, but not harming her. Dialog includes her protesting and resisting.

Last paragraph has her reach into her purse and give the 'attacker' a check for $10,000 then thank them and ask if she passed the audition for admission to an exclusive club.

I did that last September in my story, "The Fucking Bitch!" (9.8k words in Loving Wives).

You need to pay attention at the end to see why she's doing it, and who really has the power.


EDIT: If you read the 17 comments at the end of my story (or the comments at the end of any twist story), you'll get a feel for what the audience response will be. Some readers don't really READ the story but just skim through it. They leave the shitty, clueless comments, because they skipped the details which led to the ending. But that's what they do in any case with any story.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

For a plot twist to really work there needs to be setup throughout the story, be it ever so subtle.
Otherwise you are just pulling the "Haha it was all a dream" trope.

 

[ShamBaLa]

Not on the story line level, but as a "let down" or termination. Last story posted, Erotic, exotic Central America Trip wife has incredible encounter with older guy in a tour group. Husband gets off on 1) knowing she is fucking this guy 2) loves it when she tells details on her return.

She teases him with text messages along the way. When he picks her up at airport he's horny as hell and while driving BEGS her for details. When she says nothing, he realizes she has fallen asleep. Taking awhile to get traction. It's long but 4.33. I'm OK with that.