Jacking-Off Log

[Saint Peter]

What is a daredivel?

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

 

[stirbird]

What is a daredivel?

I am not quite sure. But it's what Rosceau told me he was once...along with that "Western World" bit.

 

[Hester]

buncha weerdos

 

[stirbird]

buncha weerdos

Says Jesus in a diaper on the down escalator. :/

I think with this judgement we are now doomed. But to what? Hmm. Since Jesus speaketh the truth, we are all probably sillyputty.

 

[MechaBlade]

You gotta add "Esq." to the end.


Mecha- it is nothing new
I am kinda suprised you had not read me blab about it before.

I probably have and forgot.

can i be sandy? the lines are easy.

The dog? Oh hell fucking yes.

But this means there will be lots of bestiality and peanut butter scenes.

Maybe Mecha and Tort are the bad boys we snuck in through the window of the room where we are having our slumber party? Daddy Warbucks will probably scold them some, but I imagine he'll be far more pissed at us and perhaps involve them somehow in our justly deserved punishment.

If I'm anyone, I want to be Punjab, the butler with the unfortunate name who spanks Annie when Warbucks is too tired.

If I was to give rosco a nickname it would be "rapscallion."

 

[Hester]

If I was to give rosco a nickname it would be "rapscallion."

that sounds like a gourmet green onion.

 

[MechaBlade]

that sounds like a gourmet green onion.

It means "rascal."

 

[Hester]

It means "rascal."

i know what it means. it still sounds like something i should use to garnish my soup.

 

[Hester]

see, i was right

RAPSCALLION CHIVE SOUP

Can be prepared in 45 minutes or less.

1/2 cup coarsely shredded zucchini
1/3 cup chopped shallots (about 2)
1 garlic clove, minced
1 teaspoon olive oil
2 teaspoons unsalted butter
1 cup chopped rapscallions (about 1 bunch)
1/2 cup chopped fresh chives
2 cups chicken broth
1/2 cup water
Accompaniment: Parmesan Puffs


In a saucepan cook zucchini, shallots, and garlic in oil and butter over moderately low heat, stirring occasionally, until shallots are tender, about 5 minutes. Add rapscallions and all but 2 tablespoons chives and cook, stirring, until rapscallions are softened, about 2 minutes. Stir in broth and water and simmer 2 minutes. In a blender purée mixture (use caution when blending hot liquids). Pour soup through a fine sieve into cleaned pan, pressing hard on solids and discarding them. Heat soup over moderate heat, stirring, until hot and season with salt and pepper. Stir in remaining 2 tablespoons chives.
Serve soup with Parmesan puffs.

 

[Saint Peter]

For a real good time double up on the Parmesan Puffs.

 

[luxey313]

I was thinking of forced jelly-cock anal stretching.
Bent over, forcing it into myself as he watches.
Seeing the strugle of the angle and my grimaced face.
Getting it in finally, of course with belittling and humiliation of how I am taking my sweet-ass time and frustrating him.
Told to put my panties on and sit down, both feet flat on the floor, and watch "Antiques Roadshow".
Not being able to pay attention or sit still.
Ignored and observed as my face looks pain and like baby is gonna cry.
Cry baby, cry.

 

[Hester]

antiques roadshow. lol.

nice touch.

 

[Hester]

For a real good time double up on the Parmesan Puffs.

just remember to use caution when blending hot liquids

 

[Saint Peter]

antiques roadshow. lol.

nice touch.

I noticed that as well.

Nice soup!

 

[luxey313]

antiques roadshow. lol.

nice touch.

I love that show.
I am always watching it and going, "yeah yeah... tell us how much this hunk of junk sucks or what a lucky person. tell the worth!!!!!!"
And I think the added excitement from the show with something inside that is foreign are very similar and would heighten each other.

 

[MechaBlade]

i know what it means. it still sounds like something i should use to garnish my soup.

Maybe you should garnish your soup with rathbone.

I was thinking of forced jelly-cock anal stretching.
Bent over, forcing it into myself as he watches.
Seeing the strugle of the angle and my grimaced face.
Getting it in finally, of course with belittling and humiliation of how I am taking my sweet-ass time and frustrating him.
Told to put my panties on and sit down, both feet flat on the floor, and watch "Antiques Roadshow".
Not being able to pay attention or sit still.
Ignored and observed as my face looks pain and like baby is gonna cry.
Cry baby, cry.

It's like you're channeling fantasies I haven't fantasized yet.

 

[luxey313]

It's like you're channeling fantasies I haven't fantasized yet.

I am but a public servant.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Rosceau.

The funny thing is that it was you, birdie, who dubbed me "rosco" many years ago in a mis-spelling of my original name which was "roscoe". It tickeled me and stuck.

 

[stirbird]

The funny thing is that it was you, birdie, who dubbed me "rosco" many years ago in a mis-spelling of my original name which was "roscoe". It tickeled me and stuck.

I don't remember that, but my memory is not nearly as good as yours and my spelling is atrocious, so I suspect you are right.

Anyway, the committee has decided in your absence, so you're either stuck with

Rosceau Wrathbone, Esq.

or

Daddy Warbucks.

 

[rosco rathbone]

You can call me fucko for all I care...but you better be smiling.

 

[Darla_Darling]

Time: approximately twenty minutes ago

Location: in the bath

Fantasy: My recurring sole erotic imagining for the past few weeks has been a fairly ordinary vanilla sexual fantasy about the actor Milo Ventimiglia. It is interesting to note that in this particular fantasy I imagine myself: not a thinner, more famous version of myself. He is fucking me in the missionary position, with his curtain of black hair falling in my face. I have an intense fascination with his hair. Sometimes I am on top as he fondles my breasts. This is enough to get me off with no further elaborations.

Props: 1) Mum Dry roll-on anti-perspirant bottle. It is absolutely the perfect size and shape. I have three vibrators, but none of them have worked so well as this. I am almost certain that the manufacturers knew that women would be using it as a masturbatory aid. If you refer to the picture below, I'm sure you will agree with me.

2) Bathtub faucet.

Method: Unfortunately, my bath is very old-fashioned and features both a hot and a cold tap, instead of a mixer. This means that when I use the faucet to masturbate, I have to use the cold water. This is acceptable in the summertime only, as in the winter the water is far too cold to bear. At the moment, we are in the midst of a searingly hot Australian subtropical summer.

I like to fill the bath with about 5 or 6 inches of steamingly hot water, as warm as I can stand. Then I turn off the hot tap, but leave the cold tap running. I use the deoderant bottle as a dildo. I contract and release my vaginal muscles to move the bottle in and out, as the rounded plastic bottom edge grinds against my g-spot. At the same time, I spread my legs and let the rapidly rushing cold water rush against my clitoris, as I hold my vulva open with both hands. It usually takes me a couple of minutes to reach orgasm. I usually repeat the process at least twice.

Today, I climaxed three times. The first time was a fairly ordinary orgasm, which was over a little too quickly. The second time, I barely peaked at all and was disappointed when it was over. The third time was quite spectacular fortunately, and I felt weak afterwards. Now I am quite relaxed, as I am still buzzing off the endorphin rush.

Ratings:

Orgasm 1: 5 (average)
Orgasm 2: 3 (more of a whimper than a bang)
Orgasm 3: 8 (a good effort)

http://www.pharmacyonline.com.au/images/628042.jpg

 

[rosco rathbone]

Now that's a jack, Doc. I feel like I just viewed it with a microscope.

 

[Zen_Life]

Time: approximately twenty minutes ago

Location: in the bath

Fantasy: My recurring sole erotic imagining for the past few weeks has been a fairly ordinary vanilla sexual fantasy about the actor Milo Ventimiglia. It is interesting to note that in this particular fantasy I imagine myself: not a thinner, more famous version of myself. He is fucking me in the missionary position, with his curtain of black hair falling in my face. I have an intense fascination with his hair. Sometimes I am on top as he fondles my breasts. This is enough to get me off with no further elaborations.

Props: 1) Mum Dry roll-on anti-perspirant bottle. It is absolutely the perfect size and shape. I have three vibrators, but none of them have worked so well as this. I am almost certain that the manufacturers knew that women would be using it as a masturbatory aid. If you refer to the picture below, I'm sure you will agree with me.

2) Bathtub faucet.

Method: Unfortunately, my bath is very old-fashioned and features both a hot and a cold tap, instead of a mixer. This means that when I use the faucet to masturbate, I have to use the cold water. This is acceptable in the summertime only, as in the winter the water is far too cold to bear. At the moment, we are in the midst of a searingly hot Australian subtropical summer.

I like to fill the bath with about 5 or 6 inches of steamingly hot water, as warm as I can stand. Then I turn off the hot tap, but leave the cold tap running. I use the deoderant bottle as a dildo. I contract and release my vaginal muscles to move the bottle in and out, as the rounded plastic bottom edge grinds against my g-spot. At the same time, I spread my legs and let the rapidly rushing cold water rush against my clitoris, as I hold my vulva open with both hands. It usually takes me a couple of minutes to reach orgasm. I usually repeat the process at least twice.

Today, I climaxed three times. The first time was a fairly ordinary orgasm, which was over a little too quickly. The second time, I barely peaked at all and was disappointed when it was over. The third time was quite spectacular fortunately, and I felt weak afterwards. Now I am quite relaxed, as I am still buzzing off the endorphin rush.

Ratings:

Orgasm 1: 5 (average)
Orgasm 2: 3 (more of a whimper than a bang)
Orgasm 3: 8 (a good effort)

http://www.pharmacyonline.com.au/images/628042.jpg

My last masturbation time was while I was reading this. The orgasm was great.

Thank you, Darla, for the write up. It was very useful for me!