Jacking-Off Log

[rimmy]

Wanked for the first time in a while yesterday. Haven't had the need as the bean and I have been wanting it at the same times for the last month or so but last night at around 1:30 I was IMing with a litster and one thing led to another. I was in an exhibitionistic mood and turned on the cam. She only wanted to see my face so I obliged her as I tilted my head back and read her slutty words on the screen and Jayed myself to a solid O.


Good to be back on the books here.

 

[cjh]

i am saving my seed for heaven.

REPENT!

* lights brimstone bomb

 

[tortoise]

i'll stop posting about it if it makes you uncomfortable!

DEAR GOD NO!!!!1!1

Ahem. I mean. No. The discomfort is momentary, easily remedied with a quick furtive adjustment, and more than compensated for by the vivid visions and various physical responses thus engendered.




(waterbottle!)

 

[Hester]

i am saving my seed for heaven.

REPENT!

* lights brimstone bomb

brings new meaning to the phrase "collection plate"

 

[Marquis]

I don't know what comes first, the jacking or the depression, but they seem to be well acquainted.

 

[rosco rathbone]

i am saving my seed for heaven.

REPENT!

* lights brimstone bomb

License and registration.

I'm gonna have to ask you to step out the vee hickle, sir.

*reaches under drivers seat and pulls out a red ladies high heel shoe*

 

[cjh]

License and registration.

I'm gonna have to ask you to step out the vee hickle, sir.

*reaches under drivers seat and pulls out a red ladies high heel shoe*

why do i suddenly feel like anthony perkins in crimes of passion?

 

[rosco rathbone]

perving on dwarves @ the gym

I was on the Stairmaster and casting my eye about for someone to perv on to alleviate the boredom a little bit. A very small woman had gotten on the treadmill in front of me. From the waist up, she appeared to be "a middle aged Mexican hottie mom with several kids who was getting back in shape" as I put it to myself. Curly bobbed hair dyed a daring platinum white, a green sports tank top. She had youthful skin and something about the hard planes of her cheekbones and nose, her pointy chin, thin lips and deepset dark eyes reminded me very much of young Sigourney Weaver-the Mexican version. Tits were large for her size, with a firm deep cleavage. She was tiny, almost childsized, and her top didn't cover a bulging, attractive slutgut, the kind of thing that Latina mamas always sport and we connosieurs find pervily hot. The problem began below with waist. She was wearing jeans and her legs and ass were so miniaturized, so childlike and unwomanly, that I realised I wasn't perving on a very short Central American mestizo but a regular dwarf.

This failed to fill me with shame and disgust and instead maddened my jaded mind with images. She cast a scornful eye about and saw me perving; then looked away with a toss of her head. I am 6-5 and naturally I began to speculate on how far she'd have to bend over to blow me. Then I thought about what it would be like to fuck someone that I could toss around like a doll. Or what it would be like to discipline a female that was actually girl-sized. A boner began to plague me. Hot midgets? Absurd. She carried herself like a sexy woman. The audacity! I began to want to pick her entire body up by the hair. What the hell would it be like to fuck someone that small? I alternated between imagining her chuckling on my lap like an aged salacious child and spread beneath me. Would she have a shallow woomb?

My cycle ended and I dismounted the machine. All of the treadmills were occupied. I cast a level eye across from her mouth and noted that, astride the treadmill, she came up to my nipple. I bent down, feeling somewhat ashamed of myself and took the elevation of the treadmill in order to subtract. Performed the necessary mental calculations. Standing side by side, her mouth would be right at my navel. She'd only have to spread her legs and put her hands on her knees. I stared at her long and hard to fix her image in my brain then ran home and lost it in six strokes.

why do i suddenly feel like anthony perkins in crimes of passion?

I was going more for Jimmy Swaggart in busted mode. Now can we have some wailing and gnashing of teeth, some proper self-recrimination?

Which makes me think, apropos of Olivianna's Mel Gibson Responsibility Thread: if we are disgusted by the sight of MG blaming his actions on a doppelganger and showing no remorse, how ought we to feel about born-again Christians who are sure of forgiveness no matter what they do? Just a passing thought.

 

[tortoise]

My cycle ended and I dismounted the machine. All of the treadmills were occupied. I cast a level eye across from her mouth and noted that, astride the treadmill, she came up to my nipple. I bent down, feeling somewhat ashamed of myself and took the elevation of the treadmill in order to subtract. Performed the necessary mental calculations. Standing side by side, her mouth would be right at my navel. She'd only have to spread her legs and put her hands on her knees. I stared at her long and hard to fix her image in my brain then ran home and lost it in six strokes.

Very interesting pervaciousness, rapscallion. Thank you for sharing. In spite of my better sensibilities, I am reminded of a stupid old Bob Saget joke (as if there are other varieties of old Bob Saget jokes): "I'm nuts over her. No, seriously, she's this tall!" [hand gesture indicating a height below his nuts].

 

[rimmy]

her top didn't cover a bulging, attractive slutgut, the kind of thing that Latina mamas always sport and we connosieurs find pervily hot.

I love a little slutgut. Gives me something to grab on to and squeeze. Sure, sometimes they complain that I'm squeezing and twisting too hard but that's too bad for them.

Would she have a shallow woomb?

Now that gave me wood.

 

[tortoise]

Now that gave me wood.

Cervical pounding is SO uncouth.

*waggling my finger*

 

[rimmy]

Cervical pounding is SO uncouth.

*waggling my finger*

You have a better alternative?

It ain't my fault she's cervically challeneged.

 

[tortoise]

You have a better alternative?

It ain't my fault she's cervically challeneged.

I was being facetious. I am pro-pounding. Preponderantly, profoundly, preposterously pro-pounding. Pound away, my good man. Pound like the wind!

 

[rimmy]

I was being facetious. I am pro-pounding. Preponderantly, profoundly, preposterously pro-pounding. Pound away, my good man. Pound like the wind!

Of course you were being factitious. I was being the same.


Now let's find some ho's to pound.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I love a little slutgut. Gives me something to grab on to and squeeze. Sure, sometimes they complain that I'm squeezing and twisting too hard but that's too bad for them.

Now that gave me wood.

We see eye to eye...good to have you back in the jol.

Manseed, the trick is to use extra lube and gently insert the cockhead into the clutching cervix, then slowly work up a head of steam the same way you'd do with an anus until you are pounding the woomb itself, not the sensitive portal thereto.

 

[tortoise]

Of course you were being factitious. I was being the same.


Now let's find some ho's to pound.

A smashing proposal! (pun intended)

*donning ho hunting garb*

 

[rimmy]

We see eye to eye...good to have you back in the jol.

Manseed, the trick is to use extra lube and gently insert the cockhead into the clutching cervix, then slowly work up a head of steam the same way you'd do with an anus until you are pounding the woomb itself, not the sensitive portal thereto.

Good to be back.

All this real sex has seriously cut into my jacking.

 

[Hester]

We see eye to eye...good to have you back in the jol.

Manseed, the trick is to use extra lube and gently insert the cockhead into the clutching cervix, then slowly work up a head of steam the same way you'd do with an anus until you are pounding the woomb itself, not the sensitive portal thereto.

i'm doubled over with cramps just thinking about this

 

[tortoise]

Manseed, the trick is to use extra lube and gently insert the cockhead into the clutching cervix, then slowly work up a head of steam the same way you'd do with an anus until you are pounding the woomb itself, not the sensitive portal thereto.

You have given me pause for thought, my friend. I shall endeavor to put this into practice the next time I find a willing cervix.

"Come on. It's not THAT big. It can dilate enough to pass a baby's head, fer crissakes. Relax!"

 

[tortoise]

i'm doubled over with cramps just thinking about this

See my bit of monologue.

It's tongue in cheek, I assure you.

*earnest nod*

 

[tortoise]

Good to be back.

All this real sex has seriously cut into my jacking.

Fucker.

Literally.

 

[Hester]

See my bit of monologue.

It's tongue in cheek, I assure you.

*earnest nod*

yeah, but i'm pretty sure rr is serious.

*cramps

 

[tortoise]

yeah, but i'm pretty sure rr is serious.

*cramps

Aww! C'mere.

*comfort*

You know, I hear tell that a good, hard, no-cervical-insertion fuck is good for those. Just sayin'...

 

[rosco rathbone]

"Come on. It's not THAT big. It can dilate enough to pass a baby's head, fer crissakes. Relax!"

I've actually said something almost exactly like this.

 

[tortoise]

I've actually said something almost exactly like this.

Okay, I seriously lol'd. I can picture it, in detail.

I love you, man. You are an inspiration to us all.

And this is the greatest pervy thread in the history of the world.