It's the "My heart's been broken, but at least I'm still alive" thread

[A Kilted Rogue]

If any of you know what I'm feeling right now, or have been there, I'm starting a support group. Praise, vent, tell someone you miss them, whatever. We've all had our hearts broken at some point. Some recently, some long ago. Let's see if we can't help one another through the tough times, and celebrate the good ones.

KR

 

[A Kilted Rogue]

I'm not quite at the moving on stage, yet.

She's In Love (Real Player® Audio Clip)

Mark Wills
(Keith Stegall/Dan Hill)

Third of June she said goodbye
I watched her walk into the night
The hardest thing I ever did was let her go
We swore as friends we'd stay in touch
Best of friends don't mean that much
When the phone call comes to tell you
She's in love

Chorus
She's in love
She's got that fire in her eyes
She's in love
How her smile lights up the sky
It's like she's walking on air
She's been set free
I still can't believe
She's in love
Strolling down a one-way street
She's in love
You'd swear her heart has wings
She's in love
Why can't it be me

Told everyone I'm doing fine
Learned to get on with my life
I just want what's best for her
So I lied
Found a note on my door last night
Said, "I'll be your friend 'til the day I die"
But you should know I found someone
Now she's in love

Repeat Chorus twice

Oh, now she's in love
Why can't it be me
She's in love
She's in love
She's in love
She's in love

 

[midwestyankee]

If any of you know what I'm feeling right now, or have been there, I'm starting a support group. Praise, vent, tell someone you miss them, whatever. We've all had our hearts broken at some point. Some recently, some long ago. Let's see if we can't help one another through the tough times, and celebrate the good ones.

KR

KR, why don't you start things off by doing a little venting yourself?

I think you're right that most of us who frequent Lit have seen our hearts break more than once. And for some the experiences might be so recent their hearts are still raw and bleeding.

What's making you bleed right now (or are you feeling something quite different)? What's the dominant emotion right now: is it loss, anger, fear, confusion, hurt; or are you feeling some sense of relief or joy?

 

[whspr]

{{{{{{{{{{{KR}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

My heart goes out to you. We all have been hurt before. It's not
any easy thing to get past. Just don't lock yourself inside. Talk
and try to stay open...closing off your heart ...only hearts you.

Kisses,
whspr

 

[A Kilted Rogue]

Re: Re: It's the "My heart's been broken, but at least I'm still alive" thread

KR, why don't you start things off by doing a little venting yourself?

I think you're right that most of us who frequent Lit have seen our hearts break more than once. And for some the experiences might be so recent their hearts are still raw and bleeding.

What's making you bleed right now (or are you feeling something quite different)? What's the dominant emotion right now: is it loss, anger, fear, confusion, hurt; or are you feeling some sense of relief or joy?

Actually, yankee, I've been going through all that you've mentioned.

Although we're staying friends - which is fine for both of us, I feel like I've lost my best friend.

I'm angry - both at her and at myself - for not trying harder (even though we exhausted all our "stay together" options).

I'm afraid to enter the singles scene again - I'm not the most handsome, outgoing, photogenic guy out there. I'm definitely not one of those "metrosexuals" who seem to be all the rage right now. She saw me for me, and at one time, loved me for who I am. I'm working on improving some aspects of my life, but I'm just not sure that there's anyone else out there for me. I'm in my mid-30's, and have not been part of the dating scene for over 10 years now...not that I was ever good at dating in the first place.

I'm confused still - because she has told me that she just "stopped" loving me. No idea why, she just did. She has a new s/o, but that had nothing to do with us. I'm not looking forward to the prospect of being alone. Plus, for financial reasons, we had to move in and share a house with my mother...not exactly something you want to admit to a potential mate <insert automobile commercial here: "I live with my mom">.

I am hurt for much the same reason that I am angry. I keep telling myself that there must have been something that we could have done differently (again, having tried everything reasonable to stay together). I am hurt because the love that we built over the years seemed to vanish so quickly.

I do have a small sense of relief in that she is now looking for a job to help our financial situation. That has been a sticking point for me that I did not assertively address. As that situation improves, I won't feel bad about spending "fun" money.

I can't say I have a sense of joy. Not yet anyway. This is all still too new. We were together over 10 years, married over nine. This has only been transpiring over the last few months. People keep trying to help and say things will get better, and I'm sure they will, I just can't see it right now. She was my world, even if she didn't see it every moment of every day. I have to convince myself that it could happen again, and prepare myself to go it alone if it doesn't. That's the most frightening part. My mother has been alone almost seven years since my father's passing, but they were married over 35 years. Being old school, I don't think she wants to find another. I do. I just believe that in present society, I won't be seen for my true self.

Sorry for the rambling post, but I wanted to answer all your points. Thanks for the first vent.

KR

 

[Kiss Me]

Hopefully time and friends can help you through the pain KR so that you can reach a happier place.

 

[midwestyankee]

KR, that wasn't a ramble.

I think I hear you clearly on your concerns about entering the dating scene. It's been 28 years since I stopped looking and if I was goint to start looking now I just can't imagine going back to the old methods of going to bars and so on. You might be in the right place here, you know.

As for whether or not it will happen again (finding someone you want to love) I can only say that it appears that it does when we are ready for it (mostly). That's because we seem to have sensors in us that we only activate when we are open to love. We might not even know that we're open at the time, but apparently we are. These sensors tell us when we have met someone we want discover and to whom we are willing to expose ourselves. I think it's that last thing, exposing ourselves, that is the toughest to reach.

Apparently it does take time. And chances are the right person won't be the person who seems right first. Been there. Still doing it. And I have a 28 years of tee shirts to prove it.

So hang in there, enjoy the parts of life that give you some joy and sooner or later you'll find the sun isn't so black after all.

 

[A Kilted Rogue]

{{{{{{{{{{{KR}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

My heart goes out to you. We all have been hurt before. It's not
any easy thing to get past. Just don't lock yourself inside. Talk
and try to stay open...closing off your heart ...only hearts you.

Kisses,
whspr

Thank you whspr. This hasn't been easy, especially since there has been so much going on in our little realm and in the whole of the world outside us that I've been reeling trying to keep up. I'm getting there, if I could only get the world to slow down.

Making new friends and having close ones to talk too will help, in time I'm sure. I just have to get used to things and take them one day at a time.

KR

 

[A Kilted Rogue]

Hopefully time and friends can help you through the pain KR so that you can reach a happier place.

Thank you too, KMF. Time and friends are what I think I need right now. Time to absorb everything, friends to help squeeze out the bad and shoring up the good. I know there's a big world out there (I'm hoping to travel some of it some day, including your fine country). I just have to find where the path leads me next.

KR

 

[A Kilted Rogue]

KR, that wasn't a ramble.

I think I hear you clearly on your concerns about entering the dating scene. It's been 28 years since I stopped looking and if I was goint to start looking now I just can't imagine going back to the old methods of going to bars and so on. You might be in the right place here, you know.

As for whether or not it will happen again (finding someone you want to love) I can only say that it appears that it does when we are ready for it (mostly). That's because we seem to have sensors in us that we only activate when we are open to love. We might not even know that we're open at the time, but apparently we are. These sensors tell us when we have met someone we want discover and to whom we are willing to expose ourselves. I think it's that last thing, exposing ourselves, that is the toughest to reach.

Apparently it does take time. And chances are the right person won't be the person who seems right first. Been there. Still doing it. And I have a 28 years of tee shirts to prove it.

So hang in there, enjoy the parts of life that give you some joy and sooner or later you'll find the sun isn't so black after all.

I'm going to try. It's just difficult to be optomistic, especially in present day society, what with all going on in the world. I'm a born cynic because of it. That's why I was happy in my own little realm. Venturing back out is nothing short of frightening. I'm just not sure I have the talents to make anything work. I'd be happy with companionship right now, "benefits" if they present themselves. I enjoy being pleasured, but not as much as I enjoy giving it. I just hope I don't get rusty.

That's not the most important thing, though. I'm just happy to wake up every morning. It would be better with a beautiful woman beside me.

KR

 

[done_got_old]

We have all been there, some of us more than once. At 55, I can't do the bar scene anymore. I'm not young, pretty or thin, but I've met a few people online because they accepted me for me.

It will get easier. It will stop hurting so much. I don't think the hurt really goes away, we just find a place and try to forget.

Hang in there!

 

[Missingmeds]

I agree that at one place and one time we have all been hurt like you describe KR.

I also think that as this relationship is replaced with others (which takes time) the hurts fades and the old memories are replaced with new ones that make us feel better.

I don't do the bar scene either. I have met some people from online and in my own community that have helped me realize that I have self worth and self respect.

Can people fall out of love? Yes, and they can fall back in as well.

 

[whspr]

Thank you whspr. This hasn't been easy, especially since there has been so much going on in our little realm and in the whole of the world outside us that I've been reeling trying to keep up. I'm getting there, if I could only get the world to slow down.

Making new friends and having close ones to talk too will help, in time I'm sure. I just have to get used to things and take them one day at a time.

KR

You have a new friend here...whenever you need me..just say.
I'll be here to listen

whspr

 

[diamondjim]

ok i'll say it

You have a new friend here...whenever you need me..just say.
I'll be here to listen

whspr

I need YOU

 

[whspr]

Re: ok i'll say it

I need YOU

I'm here for you

 

[Missingmeds]

KR, if you need just pm. I am off and on all the time. I have been where you are. I have a good listening ear, so if you just need to vent, just give a yell.

 

[A Kilted Rogue]

You have a new friend here...whenever you need me..just say.
I'll be here to listen

whspr

Thank you, whspr. I appreciate that.



KR

 

[A Kilted Rogue]

KR, if you need just pm. I am off and on all the time. I have been where you are. I have a good listening ear, so if you just need to vent, just give a yell.

I appreciate you, too, Mm. Usually for me it's the other way around, with my big, soft shoulders and room to cry I'm the one doing the listening. New experience for me, needing help for a change.



KR

 

[jazey_43]

Re: Re: Re: It's the "My heart's been broken, but at least I'm still alive" thread

Actually, yankee, I've been going through all that you've mentioned.

Although we're staying friends - which is fine for both of us, I feel like I've lost my best friend.

I'm angry - both at her and at myself - for not trying harder (even though we exhausted all our "stay together" options).

I'm afraid to enter the singles scene again - I'm not the most handsome, outgoing, photogenic guy out there. I'm definitely not one of those "metrosexuals" who seem to be all the rage right now. She saw me for me, and at one time, loved me for who I am. I'm working on improving some aspects of my life, but I'm just not sure that there's anyone else out there for me. I'm in my mid-30's, and have not been part of the dating scene for over 10 years now...not that I was ever good at dating in the first place.

I'm confused still - because she has told me that she just "stopped" loving me. No idea why, she just did. She has a new s/o, but that had nothing to do with us. I'm not looking forward to the prospect of being alone. Plus, for financial reasons, we had to move in and share a house with my mother...not exactly something you want to admit to a potential mate <insert automobile commercial here: "I live with my mom">.

I am hurt for much the same reason that I am angry. I keep telling myself that there must have been something that we could have done differently (again, having tried everything reasonable to stay together). I am hurt because the love that we built over the years seemed to vanish so quickly.

I do have a small sense of relief in that she is now looking for a job to help our financial situation. That has been a sticking point for me that I did not assertively address. As that situation improves, I won't feel bad about spending "fun" money.

I can't say I have a sense of joy. Not yet anyway. This is all still too new. We were together over 10 years, married over nine. This has only been transpiring over the last few months. People keep trying to help and say things will get better, and I'm sure they will, I just can't see it right now. She was my world, even if she didn't see it every moment of every day. I have to convince myself that it could happen again, and prepare myself to go it alone if it doesn't. That's the most frightening part. My mother has been alone almost seven years since my father's passing, but they were married over 35 years. Being old school, I don't think she wants to find another. I do. I just believe that in present society, I won't be seen for my true self.

Sorry for the rambling post, but I wanted to answer all your points. Thanks for the first vent.

KR

KR..I think you would be surprised at the amount of people who are going thru just what you have described...myself included. I can so relate to what you have talked of. Especially the part about "could I have done things differently"..that question nags at me still. And it's been quite awhile for me.
The broken heart will heal...in time...and the more you get out and socialize, the better it will all feel. I didn't. I closed myself up and hibernated...to be honest, I went on a major "self pity" trip that almost cost me everthing I had!!
I thank god for my family, and freinds..and my special friend MR for basically saving my life.

And now??..well, I'm a different person...I too did the soul searching and tried to better myself in many aspects...the results being...I LIKE ME!!! And life will go on. The pain is slowly diminishing...but the memories will linger forever.

Hang in there sweet, sweet man!! And as far as your concerns about the person you are (ie: looks etc)..I'm here to tell you, you seriously have NOTHING to worry about!!!..*winks*
Take care...and thanks for starting this thread!!

 

[No.1Pinklady]

Re: Re: Re: It's the "My heart's been broken, but at least I'm still alive" thread

Actually, yankee, I've been going through all that you've mentioned.

Although we're staying friends - which is fine for both of us, I feel like I've lost my best friend.

I'm angry - both at her and at myself - for not trying harder (even though we exhausted all our "stay together" options).

I'm afraid to enter the singles scene again - I'm not the most handsome, outgoing, photogenic guy out there. I'm definitely not one of those "metrosexuals" who seem to be all the rage right now. She saw me for me, and at one time, loved me for who I am. I'm working on improving some aspects of my life, but I'm just not sure that there's anyone else out there for me. I'm in my mid-30's, and have not been part of the dating scene for over 10 years now...not that I was ever good at dating in the first place.

I'm confused still - because she has told me that she just "stopped" loving me. No idea why, she just did. She has a new s/o, but that had nothing to do with us. I'm not looking forward to the prospect of being alone. Plus, for financial reasons, we had to move in and share a house with my mother...not exactly something you want to admit to a potential mate <insert automobile commercial here: "I live with my mom">.

I am hurt for much the same reason that I am angry. I keep telling myself that there must have been something that we could have done differently (again, having tried everything reasonable to stay together). I am hurt because the love that we built over the years seemed to vanish so quickly.

I do have a small sense of relief in that she is now looking for a job to help our financial situation. That has been a sticking point for me that I did not assertively address. As that situation improves, I won't feel bad about spending "fun" money.

I can't say I have a sense of joy. Not yet anyway. This is all still too new. We were together over 10 years, married over nine. This has only been transpiring over the last few months. People keep trying to help and say things will get better, and I'm sure they will, I just can't see it right now. She was my world, even if she didn't see it every moment of every day. I have to convince myself that it could happen again, and prepare myself to go it alone if it doesn't. That's the most frightening part. My mother has been alone almost seven years since my father's passing, but they were married over 35 years. Being old school, I don't think she wants to find another. I do. I just believe that in present society, I won't be seen for my true self.

Sorry for the rambling post, but I wanted to answer all your points. Thanks for the first vent.

KR

Ramble a will darlin' we all have been there and I sympathize with you, I just went thru the same type of situation, and there are days it hurts to breathe, but there are days when, I can say that it is better this way. You will survive it and don't worry about the dating scene, when your heart, mind, and soul are ready you will get out there. Don't rush it, and remember you can always come here for conversation, compassion, and vicarious thrills. .

 

[A Kilted Rogue]

Re: Re: Re: Re: It's the "My heart's been broken, but at least I'm still alive" thread

KR..I think you would be surprised at the amount of people who are going thru just what you have described...myself included. I can so relate to what you have talked of. Especially the part about "could I have done things differently"..that question nags at me still. And it's been quite awhile for me.
The broken heart will heal...in time...and the more you get out and socialize, the better it will all feel. I didn't. I closed myself up and hibernated...to be honest, I went on a major "self pity" trip that almost cost me everthing I had!!
I thank god for my family, and freinds..and my special friend MR for basically saving my life.

And now??..well, I'm a different person...I too did the soul searching and tried to better myself in many aspects...the results being...I LIKE ME!!! And life will go on. The pain is slowly diminishing...but the memories will linger forever.

Hang in there sweet, sweet man!! And as far as your concerns about the person you are (ie: looks etc)..I'm here to tell you, you seriously have NOTHING to worry about!!!..*winks*
Take care...and thanks for starting this thread!!

Thanks, Jazey. I may take you up on that offer some day. A day when we can both enjoy a good stiff belt.

KR

 

[A Kilted Rogue]

Re: Re: Re: Re: It's the "My heart's been broken, but at least I'm still alive" thread

Ramble a will darlin' we all have been there and I sympathize with you, I just went thru the same type of situation, and there are days it hurts to breathe, but there are days when, I can say that it is better this way. You will survive it and don't worry about the dating scene, when your heart, mind, and soul are ready you will get out there. Don't rush it, and remember you can always come here for conversation, compassion, and vicarious thrills. .

I'm at various times going through exactly what you describe. Just trying to get through things one day at a time.

KR

 

[truescotsman]

i know exactly how you feel kilted, i recently had my heart broken went through denial anger, everything, even contemplated suicide but i thought no, im gonna get my life back on track, dont look back on the past, theres no point you cant change it, i know it hurts it still hurts for me too, i work with her now so i see her every day, which hasnt helped, but hopefully before long ill get away from it all and get a chance to start afresh, and relive my life the way i like...


True

 

[Missingmeds]

I appreciate you, too, Mm. Usually for me it's the other way around, with my big, soft shoulders and room to cry I'm the one doing the listening. New experience for me, needing help for a change.



KR

No matter how strong we think we are, we all have a time or two that we need to be the one using someone else's shoulder to lean on.

You are welcome to lean on me anytime you need to.

 

[jazey_43]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: It's the "My heart's been broken, but at least I'm still alive" thread

Thanks, Jazey. I may take you up on that offer some day. A day when we can both enjoy a good stiff belt.

KR

You just name the time and date, handsome!!!!