It Physically Hurts...

[Vermilion]

When I think certain things. I feel them resound inside me like a canon firing, the thoughts echoing, each causing their own little flinch as they touch a tender part.

Like when I look at what other people my age have achieved and I'm still... what I am. I feel *less*. Why other peoples' success should do this to me is another story, but the feeling - feeling less - hurts more than actual physical injury sometimes. Other feelings that have the same effect - rejection, humiliation, being misunderstood.

How do mental thoughts cause physical pain?
How do you stop them?

Feel free to reply or ignore as you choose. I guess I just needed a place to vent. Today I am feeling *less*...

x
V

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

VERMILLION

I think it all depends on how you measure success. When I die there will be no large monument on my grave, the newspaper wont take notice of me, and I wont be long remembered by anyone. But I did pretty nearly everything I set out to do when I was a kid making plans for my life. I did what I wanted to do.

I also learned not to let a kid plan your life for you.

 

[Vermilion]

VERMILLION

My name has one L.

I also said that I did not want to discuss that. Try reading a post before shooting your mouth off.

 

[scheherazade_79]

For the first time ever I agree with James.

Success can be measured in lots of different ways, and sometimes it's all too easy to overlook really good things that you've achieved

The biggest achievement I ever made was being there with my arms around my dog when he died. It didn't get me a pay rise, a house of my own, nor my name in the paper. Nobody except me will ever know or recognise how hard it was, and I don't care.

Success is about accomplishing the things that are important to you, and to hell with what everyone else thinks. Any fool can get a flash job, a fancy car and a mortgage.

 

[scheherazade_79]

My name has one L.

I also said that I did not want to discuss that. Try reading a post before shooting your mouth off.

... I agreed on the first bit about measuring success. That's all. Dunnow what the kid reference was about.

 

[Vermilion]

Why other peoples' success should do this to me is another story

*Not* the point I wanted to discuss.
My business, my problem.

ETA- sorry to sound snippy, it's just a longstanding issue I have with myself and not something I want analysed. I only put it in to explain what I meant by 'less'. No offence is meant.

 

[Liar]

Certain thoughts can, at times, cause me extreme fatigue. I have to sit down, lay down, get my feet up, take a nap, what-have-you, and I'm unable to do anything else until I've gotten sufficiently distracted by other thoughts.

I guess it might be a difference in how we react to things emotionally that manifests itself in a different physical reaction. My main reaction when frustrated over something is to become apathetic, not angry or despairing like some others would.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

The kid allusion pertains to letting your teenage self decide what your 60 year old self will be doing.

 

[Vermilion]

Certain thoughts can, at times, cause me extreme fatigue. I have to sit down, lay down, get my feet up, take a nap, what-have-you, and I'm unable to do anything else until I've gotten sufficiently distracted by other thoughts.

I guess it might be a difference in how we react to things emotionally that manifests itself in a different physical reaction. My main reaction when frustrated over something is to become apathetic, not angry or despairing like some others would.

That's interesting, it's not something I;ve really heard of before. I tend to get despairing and, like I said, suffer actual pains, but never apathy. Do you have any coping techniques or do you just have to wait for it to subside?
x
V

 

[egelante]

How do mental thoughts cause physical pain?
How do you stop them?

That's something of a mother of all questions.

I suppose they cause them in the same way that they can numb them, if that makes any sense.

It seems to me that the body and mind are rather inextricably linked, and so, when there is an extreme emotional pain, it can be easier for the mind to express it as a physical sensation. Perhaps this is the root of concept-metaphors like "heart-ache", and I'm stuck for examples, but think that you will understand my meaning.

As to stopping them... I suppose that the only way is to do roughly the same thing as when numbing physical pain - by concentrating elsewhere.

That's how I deal with such things, anyway.

x

 

[egelante]

Certain thoughts can, at times, cause me extreme fatigue. I have to sit down, lay down, get my feet up, take a nap, what-have-you, and I'm unable to do anything else until I've gotten sufficiently distracted by other thoughts.

I guess it might be a difference in how we react to things emotionally that manifests itself in a different physical reaction. My main reaction when frustrated over something is to become apathetic, not angry or despairing like some others would.

I get the apathy thing occasionally... But it gets tied in with anger and determination.

It's an odd mix.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Generally speaking, by the time someone is an adult they know what works and what doesnt. And alcohol-drugs is generally the remedy they embrace because it requires no effort or inconvenience.

Being fit requires exercise and diet. Everyone wants to be thin but no one wants to do the work to be thin.

 

[egelante]

Generally speaking, by the time someone is an adult they know what works and what doesnt. And alcohol-drugs is generally the remedy they embrace because it requires no effort or inconvenience.

Being fit requires exercise and diet. Everyone wants to be thin but no one wants to do the work to be thin.

It's more difficult if the emotional problems arise at say 20/21 years of age, because then you have to find out how to deal with them.

As to alcohol and drugs, I think you might be right.

Although, I still hold that the best way to stop emotional pain is to gain greater control of the mind.

Not that it's a hundred percent reliable.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

ELEGANTE

Every stage of life has obstacles and limits and the frustration that goes with failure and delayed gratification. But most people make the transition and learn ways to cope and thrive.

I've lived long enough to be confident that 99% of the crap I fret about is nonsense; so when I catch myself worrying about something I remind myself that I'm playing mind-games again. I dont know that this technique works well for young people with no experience.

The trick is to live in the moment you have. If you fancy yourself a rocket scientist use the moment to do something about it.

 

[Liar]

That's interesting, it's not something I;ve really heard of before. I tend to get despairing and, like I said, suffer actual pains, but never apathy. Do you have any coping techniques or do you just have to wait for it to subside?
x
V

Distraction is good. If i'm at home, I flop on the couch like a stoned sloth and watch a sufficiently brainless movie. Usually fall asleep half way through and feel more up and at'em when I wake up.

 

[neonlyte]

it is very difficult to understand how anguish inflicts physical pain upon some people. It is a neurosis of sorts and neurology treats evident physical problems by repairing where possible, or chemically to reduce the neurosis. The latter approach is pretty much a 'hit and miss' affair with potential for other problems to surface. I resisted neurological drugs for a long time only latterly coming to appreciate that if I wanted any sort of life, I'd have to accept taking drugs. I am now pretty much 'pain free' and neurological examination continues to determine if damage cause the pain or whether it is a manifestation of anguish. The neurologist was frank with me, he doesn't expect to find evidence of repairable damage, he does expect to find irrepairable damage on neural pathways suggesting my pain is entirely psychological. It take that to mean they don't know enough about cause and effect and use 'anguish' to explain the unknown. Meanwhile I keep myself drugged and makes notes of physical manifestation, the latest of which is an uncontrolable trembling late at night and after an hour of light exercise. I could live with that if it didn't make me so anxious.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Milton Erickson MD trained people to forget pain. That is they didnt experience pain because they forgot it as soon as it happened.

I read a biography of Harry Houdini. I think he did the same thing in his escape tricks. He dislocated arms etc and felt no pain because he forgot it when it happened.

 

[SensualCealy]

To be honest, I'm not sure, but I do know, I think I'd rather feel the pain then not feel anything. Feeling the pain reinstates that you are a real person with real feelings. The desire to do more, be more is natural, I think we all do it, and those who say they don't are lying!

I know I get physically sick when my kids drive me completely insane, maybe its just the nerves causing turmoil in your system that causes it?

Wished I had the answers, but since I don't I'll be here sitting with you until the feelings pass...
C

 

[egelante]

ELEGANTE

Every stage of life has obstacles and limits and the frustration that goes with failure and delayed gratification. But most people make the transition and learn ways to cope and thrive.

I've lived long enough to be confident that 99% of the crap I fret about is nonsense; so when I catch myself worrying about something I remind myself that I'm playing mind-games again. I dont know that this technique works well for young people with no experience.

The trick is to live in the moment you have. If you fancy yourself a rocket scientist use the moment to do something about it.

More pointedly, every one who hasn't committed suicide has coped with everything that has been thrown their way; but this is drifting a little way off-topic.

Your point about playing mind-games is interesting, if a little redactist (redact here in the latin sense - driving back - so a sort of "stripping back approach... if one must invent words, then they need to be justified). It's not always a matter of age and experience: patterns come into play quite a lot, particularly if there is a lot of background. Thought patterns can be very hard to break, even when one is aware of their ephemerality.

And in a way that is the question - how do you break a pattern of thought that leads to physical pain as a result of emotional pain.

Dismissing worry as nonsense is something that can be done when holding off a particular mode of thinking, but not something that can be done from within it. It takes time to shed it and then you can begin dismissing it if you ever feel it returning. And even that isn't 100% reliable, which I imagine is the reason for the 1% of things you worry about as opposed to simply dealing with.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Pain is useful for making us aware of problems that require fixing. But I see no point in being continuously reminded of the problem. If I have a dental problem at night, why not get a good rest and deal with in the morning? Intermittent pain is better.

 

[egelante]

To be honest, I'm not sure, but I do know, I think I'd rather feel the pain then not feel anything. Feeling the pain reinstates that you are a real person with real feelings. The desire to do more, be more is natural, I think we all do it, and those who say they don't are lying!

I know I get physically sick when my kids drive me completely insane, maybe its just the nerves causing turmoil in your system that causes it?

Wished I had the answers, but since I don't I'll be here sitting with you until the feelings pass...
C

There's definitely something in that!

I don't advocate completely removing it, but it is something that I've needed to learn to control.

 

[egelante]

Milton Erickson MD trained people to forget pain. That is they didnt experience pain because they forgot it as soon as it happened.

I read a biography of Harry Houdini. I think he did the same thing in his escape tricks. He dislocated arms etc and felt no pain because he forgot it when it happened.

Which is roughly what I was saying with my first post on the subject.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

ELEGANTE

People often abandon emotional pain when they are forced to deal with other, immediate problems. And life has a way of imposing worse problems on us that takes our attention away from the stuff we ruminate about. Unless you isolate yourself at home and avoid people and work and school and driving on the streets.

But each of us is the best authority for what makes us happy and contented. We know what works....for us.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

ELEGANTE

Yes, you want to make pain helpful. As it is, it's a nag who gives us no rest.

 

[xssve]

Go take a long hot bath, it's good for pain.