It looked better in the window display...
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silverwhisper
just this guy, you know?
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sorry about those last few PMs, yuna! 
i honestly can't say i've had that experience on lit or in other forms of social media--but then again, i never initiate an interaction with someone i don't feel i've gotten to know somewhat through their posting behavior.
but yes, i've had that experience IRL. i've also had the reverse of that experience IRL, though, and either appear to happen about equally often--which is to say, not very. sometimes, some people present themselves very well at first blush, but then they open their mouths. sometimes, people present themselves very poorly but once they start talking, wow!
ed
i honestly can't say i've had that experience on lit or in other forms of social media--but then again, i never initiate an interaction with someone i don't feel i've gotten to know somewhat through their posting behavior.
but yes, i've had that experience IRL. i've also had the reverse of that experience IRL, though, and either appear to happen about equally often--which is to say, not very. sometimes, some people present themselves very well at first blush, but then they open their mouths. sometimes, people present themselves very poorly but once they start talking, wow!
ed
sunandshadow
Cocksnail!
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I've regularly in real life met people I thought were quite attractive but as soon as I started talking to them discovered some major personality flaw. I've also tried to work with several co-writers online, initially we were both excited to be working together and by the general type of the project, but the more we got into specifics the more we realized we were totally uninterested in what the other wanted to do.
subwannabe
Literotica Guru
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It is hard to read your post with that avatar! My mind hasn't returned to normal yet. What was it you said? I hate to admit it being a male, but there are many guys like you posted. I guess there are three main types:
1. The idiot morons you can tell right off the bat
2. The good salesmen who actually have nothing good to sell but words
3. The others
1. The idiot morons you can tell right off the bat
2. The good salesmen who actually have nothing good to sell but words
3. The others
NippleMuncher
Masticatus Nipplicanis
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sorry about those last few PMs, yuna!
X2, I usually only hump Eilan's leg, yuna caught me at a weak moment ...
I don't know that I've had this occur here, but I have on other general interest sites and IRL. Online it's pretty easy to get away from annoyances, IRL can be a bit of a bitch, particularly if there are others involved that you enjoy being around but have to put up with the jackmule to do it.
NippleMuncher
Masticatus Nipplicanis
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I was teasing. I'm not one to pester the women folk around here, those that I do wink at from time to time know that I'm harmless enough and my comments are all in good fun. If we get to know each other better, who knows, I may just have to tease you a little too.
philos
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Sorry I didn't always respond to your PM's. I'm easily distracted by real life while trying to talk on lit. Actually I'm usually the opposite. I usually like people more after I get to know them. Both on line and in life I'm slow to make friends but never regret it afterwards.
Mac98
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IRL, I'd say that first impressions are usually really important for me. Seldom are the times where someone come along lacking a bit of tact or who seems kinda' dumb that ends up being really intelligent and fun to talk with.
That being said, I've been told I'm exactly like that. At first glance, I seem like an annoying, over-hyper douchebag but then once people start talking to me (actually conversing, I mean) they realise that I'm actually not so retarded and that I have something to say.
Sometimes, though, I'm just not interested in talking about Hedley's latest album or how epic Jersey Shore is... in which case, their opinion of me being an asshole doesn't change very much, I'm sorry to say.
On Lit (which is the only forum I'm in), I've never had any problem chatting with other members. Everyone's always been very nice.
That being said, I've been told I'm exactly like that. At first glance, I seem like an annoying, over-hyper douchebag but then once people start talking to me (actually conversing, I mean) they realise that I'm actually not so retarded and that I have something to say.
Sometimes, though, I'm just not interested in talking about Hedley's latest album or how epic Jersey Shore is... in which case, their opinion of me being an asshole doesn't change very much, I'm sorry to say.
On Lit (which is the only forum I'm in), I've never had any problem chatting with other members. Everyone's always been very nice.
coastal-boy
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did someone say something? I was too busy dreaming about Yuna's av
Eilan
Absent(ish)
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X2, I usually only hump Eilan's leg, yuna caught me at a weak moment ...
NippleMuncher
Masticatus Nipplicanis
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Mac98
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billrichards41
okay then
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I'll start with the specific question but am interested in more general related situations.
On Lit, have you ever started chatting with someone who, during early interactions say on PM or if you read their posts, you think, wow, they seem pretty cool... and then as you talk to them more, realize that they are not as interesting as your early interactions seemed to promise?
And, more generally, have you been in situations like this offline? What do you think is up with that? Do some people just have good "selling points" that don't go deeper?
Believe me, I do not think so much of myself to say that I'm not seen like this either
Yuna, not to date myself, but... as you go through life you find there are many many different people you will come across. I have found it more about expectation setting. If you set them, you may be setting up for disappointment and unfairly so. If you are engaged with someone and you express them then it's a matter of communication. But if I may offer any advice, I would say be open minded, don't put too much into any one thing, stay optimistic and when you do find something worthwhile - be enthusiastic, committed and positive. You'll get and give more that way.
silverwhisper
just this guy, you know?
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yuna: yes, it's epic...epic fail. :>
ed
ed
billrichards41
okay then
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@Mac98 & silverwhisper
Hey, I don't like it enough to extol Jersey Shore's merits and further drive down your perceptions of my intelligence, but... I find it entertaining. I actually find a lot of really bad television quite entertaining, b/c my work taxes my brain so much I can't process anything of good quality, entertainment-wise.
@billrichards41
I have dueling optimistic and pessimistic tendencies, so I swing back and forth. So, my optimistic side is nodding in agreement, and my pessimistic side is saying... in other words, keep your expectations low at all times, and then you will never be disappointed.
While you do get the gist of it, I too have the dueling within as most people; I've just gotten better at knowing when to expect and when to let it go. Either way there is no easy path let alone simple. And yes annoyed at times for good and for bad. Just not angry at things I can't control or have minimal consequence in my life.
Que
aʒɑ̃ prɔvɔkatœr
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The unknown always has appeal...
becuase we always fill in the missing bricks with things we hope are there...the construct is closer to the ideal than is reasonably possible.
True in real life in the same way because online is real life, except everything you describe is amped up because there are SO many more unknowns. Even with a picture, its lit, shot and posed with the ability to delete the unflattering.
Well same thing is true with words and phrases and so on.
Fairly newly single after a 1/2 a lifetime of monogamy, I thought I was having an amazing string of good fortune as I got the number each and every time I approached and asked. I find that the trepidations women felt 2 decades ago about giving out their (real actual) phone number are completely non-existent thanks to caller ID, voice mail and texting. One can ALWAYS take the time to craft and parse words so that you can (one thinks) avoid any sort of hurtful dialog like rejection, keep as many men on the string as you have the time or patience for and basically never have any real interaction.
Online even more so. I cant believe how often i'll involve myself at early stages, fingers flying over the keyboard (all 4-5 of them in use) typing scenarios and crafting great masturbatory fodder for someone that may or may not be into the direction I am headed. Sooner or later i figure out that their , mmm, wow, cool, neato. one-word responses are not only lazy but concealing from me any real glimpse of who im talking to. My brain has been filling in their non-existent effort and interest.
becuase we always fill in the missing bricks with things we hope are there...the construct is closer to the ideal than is reasonably possible.
True in real life in the same way because online is real life, except everything you describe is amped up because there are SO many more unknowns. Even with a picture, its lit, shot and posed with the ability to delete the unflattering.
Well same thing is true with words and phrases and so on.
Fairly newly single after a 1/2 a lifetime of monogamy, I thought I was having an amazing string of good fortune as I got the number each and every time I approached and asked. I find that the trepidations women felt 2 decades ago about giving out their (real actual) phone number are completely non-existent thanks to caller ID, voice mail and texting. One can ALWAYS take the time to craft and parse words so that you can (one thinks) avoid any sort of hurtful dialog like rejection, keep as many men on the string as you have the time or patience for and basically never have any real interaction.
Online even more so. I cant believe how often i'll involve myself at early stages, fingers flying over the keyboard (all 4-5 of them in use) typing scenarios and crafting great masturbatory fodder for someone that may or may not be into the direction I am headed. Sooner or later i figure out that their , mmm, wow, cool, neato. one-word responses are not only lazy but concealing from me any real glimpse of who im talking to. My brain has been filling in their non-existent effort and interest.
Nasty_Deeds
Literotica Guru
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I'll start with the specific question but am interested in more general related situations.
On Lit, have you ever started chatting with someone who, during early interactions say on PM or if you read their posts, you think, wow, they seem pretty cool... and then as you talk to them more, realize that they are not as interesting as your early interactions seemed to promise?
And, more generally, have you been in situations like this offline? What do you think is up with that? Do some people just have good "selling points" that don't go deeper?
Believe me, I do not think so much of myself to say that I'm not seen like this either
Online or offline, everyone puts on their best face when they meet someone. That’s just normal. If everyone told the complete, raw truth about themselves upfront, no one would get anywhere in life, so we put on our best face, and let the truth come out a little at a time.
You can imagine, if you met a man for the first time, and the first words out his mouth was “Nice Tits!”, while you might be flattered in some way, you would also be cautious about letting him get too close too quick; however, if the same man were to present himself as someone who is intelligent and fun to be with, you would be more open to knowing him better.
The mask we wear when we meet someone for the first time, created the axiom: “You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find the Prince”.
CoyoteTales
Really Experienced
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I'll start with the specific question but am interested in more general related situations.
On Lit, have you ever started chatting with someone who, during early interactions say on PM or if you read their posts, you think, wow, they seem pretty cool... and then as you talk to them more, realize that they are not as interesting as your early interactions seemed to promise?
And, more generally, have you been in situations like this offline? What do you think is up with that? Do some people just have good "selling points" that don't go deeper?
Believe me, I do not think so much of myself to say that I'm not seen like this either
I can't say I have that happen much. Mostly because I tend not to initiate very many PMs. When I do, it's usually with folks who I've been watching for awhile -- like, at least a month -- and it seems right to start taking things off the visible boards. You get this vibe about people -- or at least, I do -- in that you recognize that someone is more than just the flirts, or the niceties, or the attempts to impress someone -- anyone who will notice.
It's always the quiet ones. The ones who aren't looking for a quick hookup; the ones who just want to talk. The ones who like to talk about what to do on a summer's day -- that doesn't involve screwing each other silly. (Most of the time, anyway).
There are philosophers, dreamers, and wanderers on these boards. There are real people behind the keyboard expressing a secret side of themselves that they can't do anywhere else. These are the real people; these are the folks I'd have a long conversation with.
Even when it doesn't go anywhere sexual. Sometimes it does. But the key trick is the -why- behind the PM that makes all the difference.
-CT.
billrichards41
okay then
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Not seeing you as angry, but maybe surprised or disappointed. That seemed to be your initial contention - people aren't what they appear as or are just superficial. limited.
Yes possibly I present it as simple, but that is one component. And too often it is easier to be annoyed at trivial things, hence some of the cliche's, "mountain out of a mole hill".
And yet again transference is behavior that we use. It just so happens in this case I actually try to live the way I describe it. Personally I have made many acquaintances in life and have heard many things. Have been the object of somethings that seemed implausible, but always kept a perspective and less often get disappointed. I've also had the opportunity to meet and speak to incredible people that later have been able to rely on for any number of things. So there may be a tinge of 'transference' but isn't that part of communicating? Empathy? Or maybe it's just window dressing that I am looking at and I'm taking or giving to much stock to the original question.
