Isolated Blurt Thread

[Bran_Hopewell]

The pizza buffet is one of the greatest inventions. Ever.

 

[SlickTony]

I could use a piece of pizza.

 

[Katyusha]

It's a shame we can't do a System Restore on the economy.

Yeah it is.

 

[impressive]

Put down food & drink before reading:

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
*
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
*
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
*
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
*
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
*
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
*
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
*
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
*
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
*
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
*
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
*
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
*
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
*
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
*
P: Noise comin g from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

 

[rgraham666]

Good one, imp.

 

[Chantilyvamp]

I looked amazing in that dress! Even if I say so myself though considering the look I got from the man of the house when it was on and heels and everything finished I'd say I picked very very well.

 

[CeriseNoire]

I'd forgotten just how sad this movie was. Guess I better get some extra tissues for the kids.

 

[Gi_Venus]

Another night alone. *sigh*

 

[Katyusha]

Whoa. I did it. I knew I could, but I didn't think I would.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

Oh geez!

I'm watching "The Pickup Artist" on VH1 and they are "in a room full of perfect 10's".


Ummm no, no you're not. Either this guy's scale is way below mine, or the camera has a ugly lens to protect america from the power of their beauty but these are not 10's.

 

[Gi_Venus]

Oh geez!

I'm watching "The Pickup Artist" on VH1 and they are "in a room full of perfect 10's".


Ummm no, no you're not. Either this guy's scale is way below mine, or the camera has a ugly lens to protect america from the power of their beauty but these are not 10's.

lmao picky picky picky!

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

lmao picky picky picky!

Granted, I will say honestly, I doubt any woman there would look at me twice, until they talked to me. Now once I started talking... I'm dangerous. But it bothers me to hear them say it over and over "perfect 10 ... perfect 10" but really..... eh.

 

[starrkers]

I must've forgotten to take off the invisibility cloak again.

 

[Gi_Venus]

Granted, I will say honestly, I doubt any woman there would look at me twice, until they talked to me. Now once I started talking... I'm dangerous. But it bothers me to hear them say it over and over "perfect 10 ... perfect 10" but really..... eh.

its okay darling, I could not resist giving you a hard time.

 

[Gi_Venus]

I must've forgotten to take off the invisibility cloak again.

*hugs*

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

Why the fuck can't I remember to do that during the allotted time? Fuck. It means I'll get my check late.

 

[JagFarlane]

Ugh try as I might...I could not fall asleep in a timely matter last night...meant to pass out around 9ish...finally managed to sometime after midnight

 

[hollyocks]

Ugh try as I might...I could not fall asleep in a timely matter last night...meant to pass out around 9ish...finally managed to sometime after midnight

i passed out early then sobered up later

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

What else could i ask a pregnant woman about her transition (being pregnant) in relation to this particular developmental theory?

~~

On another note, which Georgia O' Keefe shall i draw?

 

[Misty_Morning]

I do not want to go back to work today......*sigh*

 

[TheeGoatPig]

I do not want to go back to work today......*sigh*

Hey now, that's what I said. And look how well that turned out. Here I am, and in slight trouble as I wasn't here on Friday...
(I haven't worked the last five or ten black Fridays, I have no idea why he expected me for this one)

 

[oggbashan]

Relief

One of my local hostelries is being refurbished.

I was slightly worried that some of the original features would be lost in the renovation.

Today I'm relieved. The etched glass window announcing "Ladies' Gin Room" has been replaced as have the signs announcing "No persons under 18 allowed on these premises".

The other etched windows "Saloon Lounge", "Public Bar", "Bottle and Jug" and "Tradesmen's Entrance" have also been replaced and the draught beer is as good as ever.

Og

 

[hollyocks]

One of my local hostelries is being refurbished.

I was slightly worried that some of the original features would be lost in the renovation.

Today I'm relieved. The etched glass window announcing "Ladies' Gin Room" has been replaced as have the signs announcing "No persons under 18 allowed on these premises".

The other etched windows "Saloon Lounge", "Public Bar", "Bottle and Jug" and "Tradesmen's Entrance" have also been replaced and the draught beer is as good as ever.

Og

thank god for that mr ogg, so many good pubs being ruined or sold off for housing

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

OK so i painted (or attempted to) a Georgia O'Keeffe

This one to be precise:

http://www.nga.gov/image/a00001/a0000196.jpg

I'm not sure i like how it's turned out...but ok...neways, when it's dry...i might put it in my gallery thread...

 

[Nirvanadragones]

Everything has gone wrong today.

Everything.