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Somehow...I don't think the roomie gets the fact that going from very hot and humid to cold and dry isn't good for the lungs...
 
Oops!

One of my friends is embarrassed.

He lives in a large flat (apartment) on the main street of his town.

He is a museum curator with a particular interest in military small arms and occasionally gives illustrated lectures on the development of small arms throughout the 20th Century.

Last week a passer-by noticed a smell of gas and called the Fire Brigade who called the Gas company. The Gas company were unable to reach the stopcock inside the flat to turn off the gas so called the Fire Brigade out to gain access.

The Fire Brigade broke into my friend's flat and the Gas company employee turned off the gas at the meter. The Fire Brigade then opened as many windows and doors as they could to allow the accumulation of gas to disperse...

...BUT they couldn't avoid seeing a large collection of small arms. In the UK such a collection is very rare and strictly controlled. The Fire Brigade was worried that the collection might be dangerous and illegal so they called the Police.

In the meantime the Fire Brigade had closed the whole road, evacuated the apartment block and everyone else for 100 metres radius - about 600 people.

The Police arrived. They couldn't decide whether the firearms were legal or not, dangerous or not, a threat to the public or not or even whether they had discovered the armoury of a terrorist network. They called out their Armed Response Unit.

In the meantime the main road remained closed diverting several bus lines and causing traffic chaos over a couple of miles.

The Armed Response Unit arrived after about an hour.

Then someone decided it might be a good idea to call my friend at his work about a mile away. He was there. The Police sent a car to collect him - from the Museum. This was three hours after the road had been closed.

He arrived and explained to the Armed Response Unit that every weapon was officially deactivated and that all the ammunition was inert including the 500lb bomb, the 25-pounder shells, the machine guns, the mortars etc. He produced all the necessary paperwork.

He ended up giving an impromptu lecture to the ordinary Police and the Armed Response Unit on the various laws relating to deactivated weaponry and a history of the UK's army small arms while the Fire Brigade re-opened the street and let everyone return home.

He has been asked to give a paid-for illustrated lecture at Police headquarters.

The Gas leak? A neighbour's builder had nailed through a floorboard into a gas pipe and the gas had descended to my friend's flat as the lowest point. The gas had been turned off by the Gas company at the wrong place. IF they had found the right place for the leak the gas could have been turned off without entering the building at all. They did that shortly before leaving and the remedial work was completed in about ten minutes.

My friend is waiting for the next issue of the local paper on Thursday.

Will he be named and shamed?

Og
 
oggbashan said:
One of my friends is embarrassed.

He lives in a large flat (apartment) on the main street of his town.

He is a museum curator with a particular interest in military small arms and occasionally gives illustrated lectures on the development of small arms throughout the 20th Century.

Last week a passer-by noticed a smell of gas and called the Fire Brigade who called the Gas company. The Gas company were unable to reach the stopcock inside the flat to turn off the gas so called the Fire Brigade out to gain access.

The Fire Brigade broke into my friend's flat and the Gas company employee turned off the gas at the meter. The Fire Brigade then opened as many windows and doors as they could to allow the accumulation of gas to disperse...

...BUT they couldn't avoid seeing a large collection of small arms. In the UK such a collection is very rare and strictly controlled. The Fire Brigade was worried that the collection might be dangerous and illegal so they called the Police.

In the meantime the Fire Brigade had closed the whole road, evacuated the apartment block and everyone else for 100 metres radius - about 600 people.

The Police arrived. They couldn't decide whether the firearms were legal or not, dangerous or not, a threat to the public or not or even whether they had discovered the armoury of a terrorist network. They called out their Armed Response Unit.

In the meantime the main road remained closed diverting several bus lines and causing traffic chaos over a couple of miles.

The Armed Response Unit arrived after about an hour.

Then someone decided it might be a good idea to call my friend at his work about a mile away. He was there. The Police sent a car to collect him - from the Museum. This was three hours after the road had been closed.

He arrived and explained to the Armed Response Unit that every weapon was officially deactivated and that all the ammunition was inert including the 500lb bomb, the 25-pounder shells, the machine guns, the mortars etc. He produced all the necessary paperwork.

He ended up giving an impromptu lecture to the ordinary Police and the Armed Response Unit on the various laws relating to deactivated weaponry and a history of the UK's army small arms while the Fire Brigade re-opened the street and let everyone return home.

He has been asked to give a paid-for illustrated lecture at Police headquarters.

The Gas leak? A neighbour's builder had nailed through a floorboard into a gas pipe and the gas had descended to my friend's flat as the lowest point. The gas had been turned off by the Gas company at the wrong place. IF they had found the right place for the leak the gas could have been turned off without entering the building at all. They did that shortly before leaving and the remedial work was completed in about ten minutes.

My friend is waiting for the next issue of the local paper on Thursday.

Will he be named and shamed?

Og
Click to expand...

oh good grief what a performance... about par for the course though:D
 
1) Good story, Og! :)
2) I wonder if Hollyock ever reads the "AV that makes you go"-thread...
 
I dreamed last night that someone else was on my date with a woman. He was talking to her about all of the stuff that I am interested in, and she loved him for it, while looking away from me as if I didn't belong there.
 
He whose country is free from fault shall cast the first stone...until then...fuck off and shut yer trap or hold yer fingers
 
I don't have glaucoma! I have thick eye membranes which apparently fuck with the air pressure machines. Guess my mama was right I'm just thick skinned all around! Either that or I really do like being the odd ball out! ;) :nana::nana:

I have code ideas running in my head like mad!:eek:

That was a truly strange experience.:rolleyes:

That old couple at the hospital, they made me smile and wish I had a camera with me. Walking off together holding hands both using a cane, they were incredibly adorable.:cathappy:

A phone ringing for 2 something hours is enough to irritate the hell out of a large group of people!:caning:

Oh yeah apparently my attitude and ass are enough to send some guy crazy *roflmfao*

Sorry for being such a freakazoid the last month or so. I promise I'll return to 1/4 normal status in oh about a week and a half. :eek:

I love her photos!:devil:

I have the intense urge to be cuffed and give the hubby another mind blowing blowjob.:devil:
 
voluptuary_manque said:
Why does the wife always get sick on her day off?
Click to expand...

Its an evil ploy :D

Actually, if I recall, the theory of why people get sick on their days off is because of the fact that, whilst working their body is going at a high pace, so when it slacks on a day off...its more prone to becoming ill. Or something of that nature...
 
Chantilyvamp said:
I don't have glaucoma! I have thick eye membranes which apparently fuck with the air pressure machines. Guess my mama was right I'm just thick skinned all around! Either that or I really do like being the odd ball out! ;) :nana:

I have code ideas running in my head like mad!:eek:

That was a truly strange experience.:rolleyes:

That old couple at the hospital, they made me smile and wish I had a camera with me. Walking off together holding hands both using a cane, they were incredibly adorable.:cathappy:

A phone ringing for 2 something hours is enough to irritate the hell out of a large group of people!:caning:

Oh yeah apparently my attitude and ass are enough to send some guy crazy *roflmfao*

Sorry for being such a freakazoid the last month or so. I promise I'll return to 1/4 normal status in oh about a week and a half. :eek:

I love her photos!:devil:

I have the intense urge to be cuffed and give the hubby another mind blowing blowjob.:devil:
Click to expand...
:D Great news!

Dammit - I had to cut one of your nanas so I could add my grin smiley - stupid forum limits.
 
I will not bite back at the delusional dipshit.
I will not bite back at the delusional dipshit.
I will not bite back at the delusional dipshit...
 
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