Is this ok?

[Guest]

I bought my wife a vibrator recently and she has used it in front of me which really turns me on. I know that she masturbates while I'm at work. How can I get her to videotape herself for me or at least call me when she does it. I find it very erotic. She is very reserved when it comes to sex and I'm somewhat surprised that she masturbates.

 

[seXieleXie]

um... have you asked her?

 

[Guest]

*lol*
That sexy lexie beat me to it!!


Open communication would be helpful in such matters.

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

How can I get her to videotape herself for me or at least call me when she does it.

You might start off by videotaping her yourself to get her used to the idea, then both of you watch the tape together.

 

[seXieleXie]

*lol*
That sexy lexie beat me to it!!


Open communication would be helpful in such matters.

aw shucks ma'am...

 

[Guest]

Yes, I have asked her. She says she's not comfortable enough with her body. She has taken Digicam pics for me, though. She is not fat nor obese. She has given me two wonderful children and is losing the "baby" weight. I just wish she would open up more to me.

 

[Guest]

aw shucks ma'am...

 

[Guest]

Yes, I have asked her. She says she's not comfortable enough with her body. She has taken Digicam pics for me, though. She is not fat nor obese. She has given me two wonderful children and is losing the "baby" weight. I just wish she would open up more to me.

I'd back off a bit. Let her take the steps needed to feel comfortable. Encouraging is fine. Validating is fine. Pushing will only do harm. So, let her warm up, in her own time.

 

[Guest]

I guess I'm hoping she's not doing herself to avoid having sex with me. We do have a nice sexual relationship. She finally did admit to me after a few years that she does masturbate which was a big step. Maybe this vibrator will loosen up some of her inhibitions.

 

[patient1]

Speculation- You'll have to take it a bit slower, then. When she's
performing "live" in front of you give her a lot of encouragement, see if you can get her to talk to you while she does it. When she's more comfortable with it, when she's feeling that she is sexier, maybe then you can get her to call you during the day. Maybe you can convince her to put the reciever near the action, if you can't get her to talk.

If you both enjoy the phone sessions, maybe you'll both want to progress with the video steps. You might want to get a home lockbox for her to secure her video appearances,so that she can control the viewing, because fear of who might see them could be what's holding her back.

Have you asked the friendly folks in the "How To" section?

 

[Guest]

I guess I'm hoping she's not doing herself to avoid having sex with me. We do have a nice sexual relationship. She finally did admit to me after a few years that she does masturbate which was a big step. Maybe this vibrator will loosen up some of her inhibitions.

No, no. I have a healthy sex life with my husband but I masturbate. Sometimes, one just needs some "alone" time.
I would continue your communication and support. It's a little more difficult for women to be uninhibited. We're not raised to be such. Once we feel comfortable, it's much easier.

 

[Guest]

When she was away at college, we did the phone thing. I think the receiver at the action would help as well as a lockbox. I know that I don't plan on showing anyone her "performance" but it really would mean a lot for me. We work different hours during the week and I sorta get lonely, if you know what I mean.

 

[seXieleXie]

I guess I'm hoping she's not doing herself to avoid having sex with me. We do have a nice sexual relationship. She finally did admit to me after a few years that she does masturbate which was a big step. Maybe this vibrator will loosen up some of her inhibitions.

uh... okay that is a valid fear but it's something you need to talk to her about. i don't know if it's true. in fact if she is masturbating it may mean she is more sexual than you think.

please please please PLEASE don't take this next suggestion the wrong way. i'm not trying to me mean or make any assumptions about either of you, but perhaps sex isn't as pleasurable for her as it is for you, and that's why she masturbates. you should talk to her about whether or not she feels satisfied with your sex life.

but really, communication is the key in any relationship.

 

[Guest]

i don't think that our sexual relationship is as pleasureable to her as I would like it to be. She hasn't orgasmed for me since we've been married. She told me she has while watching a porno by herself. Trust me, it's not from lack of trying on my part.

 

[Aphrodisiac]

Just curious ... how come you don't video tape yourself mastrubating and leave it for her & see what her reaction is ... maybe that will encourage her ... take matters into your own hands.

* no pun intended*

 

[Guest]

i don't think that our sexual relationship is as pleasureable to her as I would like it to be. She hasn't orgasmed for me since we've been married. She told me she has while watching a porno by herself. Trust me, it's not from lack of trying on my part.

Hmm, ok, well this information is helpful and valuable. I can't begin to address the root of the problem without speaking with your wife. There is a myriad of sexual problems that can stem from this or that.
I'd suggest talking to her in depth and finding out what she needs from you.

 

[Guest]

Thanks for all the advice. Al the help has been appreciated. I think I'll slow down and start by taping myself and let her watch it.

 

[Mischka]

She hasn't orgasmed for me since we've been married. She told me she has while watching a porno by herself. Trust me, it's not from lack of trying on my part.

If she's doing it on her own, then she is physically capable of climaxing with you. What is she doing to herself that you are not doing with her? How often do you incorporate oral sex into your sex life? Many women need oral sex to achieve an orgasm. Have you used a vibrator/dildo/butt plug on her in conjunction with oral or vaginal sex? Perhaps she needs extra stimulation in more than one area in order to climax.