Is this Lifestyle Prone to Casual Meetings.

[TigerClaw]

I know a number of people are in long term relationships and/or marraiges. Before the long term relationship and those that are single are/did you meet people casually to explore the lifestyle?

 

[FungiUg]

I think it's very much an individual thing. Some do that, some are serial monogamousts... there's no hard and fast rule.

While I have done some "playing around", I would say the majority of the submissives I have talked to are looking for a committed relationship.

 

[TigerClaw]

Thank You, In terms of the life style I was beginning to get discouraged. The other avenues are opening up so surprisingly fast.

 

[FungiUg]

Practice pretend patience...

 

[catalina_francisco]

I didn't play the field or submit to anyone, but I did experiment with a couple of people while I was searching. It was mainly to explore my limits so I was better able to define what I wanted, instead of persuming all my fantasies would be just as thrilling and acheivable in real life. I didn't do it casually, nor with anyone I didn't get to know and trust first. I saved the submission for the one who I knew would respond to it from a need they had and a connection we shared which went beyond the casual play partner. Also helped ease the frustration and temptation to accept someone just to feed the hunger.

Catalina http://www.smilies4you.de/content/sonstige/c84.gif

 

[Mr Blonde]

No, I was much more promiscuous when I was swimming in the "vanilla" pond.

It might have been a symptom of other things in my life -- being young, being a university student, being in a local rock band, being in certain social clubs, etc.

I am much less casual and much more selective now. I used to sleep with women that I wouldn't even ask on a date now. My current girlfriend was carefully screened for "long term relationship" potential before I even starting thinking about the D/s stuff. I might be in the minority, but such things show where my current priorities are at!

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

With the exception of one short term play partner, both my relationships with dominants have been long-term. If I had known then, what I know now, I would have probably done more dating, and "casual play." I think it's a great way to learn where your limits are, learn about yourself as a bottom, and to figure out in what direction you might want to go.

Personally, I think the whole search for the mythical "One" limits people, and keeps people from finding the diamonds that might be right in their back yards, so to speak. Fortunately, I wasn't looking when I found my dominant, and since I don't believe in the whole "One" fallacy, I'm happy that we were able to find common ground, learn and grow together, and ultimately, end up on the exactly the same path .

~anelize

 

[MissTaken]

Short answer: Yes.

Long answer: Yes, I had what you might call casual interaction when exploring the lifestyle. In both instances, we were very clear in our expectations and the limits for the relationship. Both have become very dear friends.

 

[kitty4ever]

No more than a vanilla lifestyle.

 

[TigerClaw]

I didnt get to come back and answer these posts. I will tomorrow. I am encouraged for the most part. Even though it seems that I have been meeting ppl in the casual category the more monogomous is possible. That is encouraging.

 

[graceanne]

I only had three boyfriends before K. Two of those only lasted two weeks. I was 18 when I started dating him, and 19 when I married him. Quite frankly he's my one and only sex wise, too. We only recently got into bdsm, so he's also been my only dom. lol I quite frankly am not made for casual relationships, it's how I scared off the two guys I only dated for two weeks. I give my heart to easily, it's a good thing I found K as early as I did. But I talk to others, and it seems to me that it depends on the person. I know of at least one person who likes the casual ones, and is not looking for anything permanent right now.