Is this horribly WRONG?

[JackLuis]

Not bad was an understatement, I liked it. I also feel you did a good job on character development.

Thanks, it was a character intro chapter.

Who really cares about man sensations anyway.

Not Ms G.G. for now at least.

 

[Ironiclaconic]

Doesn't sound too offensive, but it got me thinking of story lines that would grant the greatest religious offense. Conception of Jesus as erotic lit? Gay porn between Jesus and Mohammed? Write it correctly and you could get your own personal fatwa.

 

[JackLuis]

Doesn't sound too offensive, but it got me thinking of story lines that would grant the greatest religious offense. Conception of Jesus as erotic lit? Gay porn between Jesus and Mohammed? Write it correctly and you could get your own personal fatwa.

It might stretch disbelief as Jesus and Mo were separated by ~600 years, but maybe you could have them meet in Hell?

 

[Ironiclaconic]

It might stretch disbelief as Jesus and Mo were separated by ~600 years, but maybe you could have them meet in Hell?

Good point. Resurrection, taken up to heaven, no problem, but one chronological anachronism and the readers will have your balls for breakfast.