Is this a fetish?

[AG31]

This topic is closely related in my mind to the other post I made today, but I don't want it to get lost in that larger topic.

I have very narrow, specific requirements for erotica that works for me. Turns me on by putting me at least in the neighborhood of physical arousal. I am on the lookout for stories that feature "A strong man who surrenders with dignity to sexual abuse."

My question is, does this constitute a fetish? It's so specific, I can see how it might, but I've never seen anything that came close in the Fetish category. Of course I rarely find anything that comes close in any other category either.

I'm posting in AH instead of Fetish because I don't usually find much that interests me there.

TIA
AG

 

[Bazzle]

This topic is closely related in my mind to the other post I made today, but I don't want it to get lost in that larger topic.

I have very narrow, specific requirements for erotica that works for me. Turns me on by putting me at least in the neighborhood of physical arousal. I am on the lookout for stories that feature "A strong man who surrenders with dignity to sexual abuse."

My question is, does this constitute a fetish? It's so specific, I can see how it might, but I've never seen anything that came close in the Fetish category. Of course I rarely find anything that comes close in any other category either.

I'm posting in AH instead of Fetish because I don't usually find much that interests me there.

TIA
AG

You can fetishize anything.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

It seems like a variant of domination/submission to me, which is closer to BDSM than to Fetish. I see it as a surrendering of control. There are many facets of D/s, all with their own nuances.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

I suppose it's a fetish - what do you mean by sexual abuse, though? Rape? Painful penetration? Accepting embarrassment with sex?

Probably more likely to be found in BDSM because it sounds like respectful dom(me)/sub action?

 

[lustychimera]

I am on the lookout for stories that feature "A strong man who surrenders with dignity to sexual abuse."

That's a really interesting twist. What's a scenario that you have pictured?

The "abuse" part is throwing me a bit. I can kind of picture it, but I can't quite wrap my head around it. But I like the concept.

 

[CuriousRick]

I could see it as a fetish or a kink. Either way it is what You enjoy

 

[gunhilltrain]

I suppose it's a fetish - what do you mean by sexual abuse, though? Rape? Painful penetration? Accepting embarrassment with sex?

Probably more likely to be found in BDSM because it sounds like respectful dom(me)/sub action?

I guess the correct term is femdom? Short for female domination. For some reason I usually write them as slightly goofy comedies that are not too extreme. (Whatever that means.) Also, I like to have both people as switches, who take turns although not on the same day. Usually these are rather brief (two-hour?) sessions, not lifestyles.

Even Nora, who is a semi-professional dominatrix twice in her youth, admits that she is a switch, but never for money. Also, either she or the client or both may have some sort of sexual release at the end - as long as they pay for it. So there are some parallels with your interests but major differences too.

So it is "respectful," I guess, as the clients usually tell her what they want. If it's with her boyfriend, either one can always opt out at any time, although they never do. So is that a fetish or BDSM? Both, I'd say, with the latter being a subset of the former.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Let's roll it back to basics - what is a fetish?

One clear source is the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition), a standard psychological/psychiatric publication. In the interest of brevity, what follows is summary, https://www.theravive.com/therapedia/fetishistic-disorder-dsm--5-302.81-(f65.0).

Fetishism is seen almost exclusively in men, and 25% of men with Fetishes are homosexual (Meston and Frohlich, 2013). In some cases, Fetishistic Disorder is a result of Classical and Operant Conditioning. One possible Scenario: A neutral stimulus, such as a pair of knee high leather boots are worn by a woman. Foreplay begins, and the boots are removed to the accompaniment of growing sexual desire, which is an unconditioned response. The association between the unconditioned response of sexual desire during foreplay turns the previously neutral stimulus of knee high leather boots into a conditioned stimulus. Through repeated trials, e.g. sexual encounters, the boots produce a conditioned response of sexual arousal through the sensory stimuli of the smell, appearance, and texture of the boots. Sex may not be as satisfying, or erection may not even be possible unless leather boots are present. Operant Conditioning can occur as the person will experience anticipatory pleasure or reinforcement from the process of coming into contact with the boots.

Emphasis added by myself as it fits in with what I had originally planned to respond. 'Kink' might be when something unusual makes sex more exciting, 'fetish' is when that something is essential for enjoyment. Note that this is scientific/medical as opposed to common usage. I'm not judging or preaching, just trying to establish a working definition here.

Back to the OP's question - is wanting erotica featuring a certain interplay a fetish? Using the above, maybe it is, maybe not. I trust that's sufficiently clear.

More important than that, IMO, is So What If It Is? Provided that it's not interfering with your life, AG31, who cares what it's labeled? It's nothing that would interest me, but I have my own 'special' desires and am in no position to point fingers. (Nor, I suspect, is anyone else.)

I do hope you find what you are looking for and, equally, that you find some pleasure in it.

tp

 

[intim8]

My question is, does this constitute a fetish? It's so specific, I can see how it might,

I think "fetish" is defined more by how you think of it than by the content of what it is about. A fetish to me is something that is raised so far above everything else that it is more than a preference, it becomes the only thing that matters, or close to it.

Huge boobs, though a common prefernce, is, for some guys a fetish. No matter what other qualities a woman has or doesn't have, no matter how attractive she might or might not be otherwise, if she's got huge boobs, he's in.

So yeah, it sounds like this is one, for you. The question is, are you OK with it being that way? If so, more power to ya.

 

[intim8]

"A strong man who surrenders with dignity to sexual abuse."

There's a story on Lush by WannabeWordsmith, "Being driven slowly mad" that you would just love. Came out last week.

 

[la_ruche]

Hasn’t this been discussed ad nauseam?
I’ve always adhered to the Wikipedia definition: “Sexual fetishism or erotic fetishism is a sexual fixation on a nonliving object or nongenital body part.”
If you aren’t into necrophilia I’d say you have a kink.
All my personal fetiches are around dead objects such as sports gear, so that’s my fetiches. What I do with them - that’s my kinks.

 

[lustychimera]

Let's roll it back to basics - what is a fetish?

I was looking to double check those stats, and came across this. Little off topic, but I thought it was interesting.

Dude took 350k stories from this site and ran them through a filter for kinky keywords, and created a graph. http://markallenthornton.com/blog/sexual-demographics/

The size of the words scales with the degree to which they are disproportionately used in stories of that category (relative to the others).

I knew it was a huge kink, but it's still wild that "mom" is right up there with "cock"

 

[Crownvic]

If you enjoy it..do it...fetish or not

 

[AG31]

You can fetishize anything.

And what does that mean?

 

[AG31]

I suppose it's a fetish - what do you mean by sexual abuse, though? Rape? Painful penetration? Accepting embarrassment with sex?

All of the above and public display and bondage and whips (but not a lot of emphasis on pain).

 

[AG31]

That's a really interesting twist. What's a scenario that you have pictured?

Read any of my stories except Undressing, Idyll and Stairway to Heaven. You can skim them. They're "simple erotica." You don't have to wade through a lot of background and relationships.

The "abuse" part is throwing me a bit. I can kind of picture it, but I can't quite wrap my head around it. But I like the concept.

Nudity, public display, rape, bondage, whipping (not much emphasis on pain).

 

[AG31]

I guess the correct term is femdom? Short for female domination.

The abuser is more often male than female in my stories. But it works either way, as long as there's not a lot of relationship going on.

So is that a fetish or BDSM? Both, I'd say, with the latter being a subset of the former.

And there's the rub.

 

[Bazzle]

And what does that mean?

There was a person in the UK who repetitively got caught masturbating in a farmers manure pool. He eventually got sectioned.

Fetish is a kink?

Something mundane that can be seen through a certain pair of eyes as a fetish?
Feet, stockings, panties... leather...you name it, it can be a fetish?

 

[AG31]

Let's roll it back to basics - what is a fetish?

"the previously neutral stimulus " Thank you!! I think this is what was tripping around the edge of my consciousness. And my "thing" doesn't involve a perviously neutral stimulus.

"Provided that it's not interfering with your life, AG31, who cares what it's labeled?" It's pure curiousity on my part. I was puzzled by my inability to define it. No matter where I came down, I wouldn't care. But I am sort of hung up on definitions of things.

 

[AG31]

There's a story on Lush by WannabeWordsmith, "Being driven slowly mad" that you would just love. Came out last week.

Thanks!! I pretty much liked it, but another piece of my narrow focus is I'm all about the man. My MCs don't exhibit desire for women, although it's usually clear that they are straight and do desire women in their vanilla lives. Anyway, Being Driven Slowly Mad had too much female presence for me.

 

[AG31]

Hasn’t this been discussed ad nauseam?

I've never seen it discussed in AH over the last half year that I've been active. Can you point me to a thread?

I’ve always adhered to the Wikipedia definition: “Sexual fetishism or erotic fetishism is a sexual fixation on a nonliving object or nongenital body part.”
If you aren’t into necrophilia I’d say you have a kink.
All my personal fetiches are around dead objects such as sports gear, so that’s my fetiches. What I do with them - that’s my kinks.

Yes, this is helpful too. Like @TarnishedPenny's summary from the diagnostic manual that references a "previously neutral stimulus."

 

[AG31]

I was looking to double check those stats, and came across this. Little off topic, but I thought it was interesting.

Dude took 350k stories from this site and ran them through a filter for kinky keywords, and created a graph. http://markallenthornton.com/blog/sexual-demographics/



View attachment 2327686

I knew it was a huge kink, but it's still wild that "mom" is right up there with "cock"

Fascinating. How do people do this stuff???

 

[la_ruche]

I've never seen it discussed in AH over the last half year that I've been active. Can you point me to a thread?

Yes, this is helpful too. Like @TarnishedPenny's summary from the diagnostic manual that references a "previously neutral stimulus."

I remember this discussion and some heated PMs following that - https://forum.literotica.com/threads/when-did-your-fetish-become-a-fetish.1593982/ - there could be others that I can’t find right now.

I chime in with the others - if it turns you on, then it’s good for you and you can call it whatever you like

 

[AG31]

I remember this discussion and some heated PMs following that - https://forum.literotica.com/threads/when-did-your-fetish-become-a-fetish.1593982/ - there could be others that I can’t find right now.

Thanks. I see this dates back to August, so I wouldn't have seen it. But it is an interesting thread.

I chime in with the others - if it turns you on, then it’s good for you and you can call it whatever you like

Yeah, and as I said to the others, I'm motivated strictly by curiousity about definitions. I'm very comfortable with my interests. But thanks.

 

[gunhilltrain]

The abuser is more often male than female in my stories. But it works either way, as long as there's not a lot of relationship going on.

And there's the rub.

You did say in the OP: "A strong man who surrenders with dignity to sexual abuse." That would mean female domination, right?

I wouldn't call what I write abuse. It's either a completely voluntary relationship between two people, or it's a guy paying a dominatrix. In both cases verbal "chiding" is important, but it's almost all made up, a pretext in other words. In fact several people in these stories compare it to the acting and script writing professions. The term "method acting" also comes up.

The humorous part can be seen in the deliberately silly safe phrases the characters come up with, usually based on foods (tuna salad, Dinty Moore).