Is there anything to the "sexual prime" thing?

[Cockyfox]

I have heard that the sexual prime for a male is the late teens and early twenties. For females I heard it was the thirties.
Based on your experience, is this true?

 

[midwestyankee]

These "primes" refer mostly to those periods when a person's physical sexual response is greatest. In males, this means that the frequency of erections is greatest and the recovery time between erections is shortest. In females, it tends to be about the intensity of physical responses within and around the vagina (the amount of bloodflow to the clitoris and the labia, the amount of lubrication on the vaginal walls, etc.

What these peaks are not about, though, is the ability to provide one's partner with a satisfying sexual encounter.

 

[dcraz]

Interesting question. And as always, Yank is quick on the draw (so to speak ) to offer his thoughts and wisdom.

A few comments of my own to add to what Yank has already offered. In my experience (mid 40s) and from what I understand, while a man's ability to get and maintain an erection may decrease and his recovery time increase with age, his ability to control his pace improves. Perhaps more importantly and more valuable, his attitudes and knowledge about pleasing his partner will (hopefully) increase to more than offset any physical declines that might be present.

As for the practical impact of a woman's age, I think women tend to learn more and more about their bodies and just as importantly (if not more so), learn more about what pleases them and the mechanics for achieving that pleasure increase. Her libido (sexual hunger and desire) increases as a result as well. And like men, her knowledge and attitude about pleasing her partner as well as herself probably leads to a greater, deeper (no pun intended) sense of satisfaction with her sexual experiences.

Again speaking from my own personal experiences and those of my peers (middle aged men and women) and my discussions with many here on Lit, it seems clear that the general consensus is that IF there is sexual activity still present, the experiences and intensities only get better with age. MUCH BETTER I might add!

Since you asked this question, I am assuming you are on the younger side of things which means you have much to look forward to (optimism) rather than the fear of a decline.

 

[LadyJeanne]

These "primes" refer mostly to those periods when a person's physical sexual response is greatest. In males, this means that the frequency of erections is greatest and the recovery time between erections is shortest. In females, it tends to be about the intensity of physical responses within and around the vagina (the amount of bloodflow to the clitoris and the labia, the amount of lubrication on the vaginal walls, etc.

What these peaks are not about, though, is the ability to provide one's partner with a satisfying sexual encounter.

Exactly so.

From personal experience, I'd say guys in their so-called "prime" aren't very good lovers, mostly from inexperience, miseducation about what women want from sex, and the lack of control they have over their erections and coming. By the time they're in their 30s, they are MUCH better at giving pleasure.

As for women, the 30's is when they start becoming more comfortable with themselves, which is what leads to better sex, IMO.

 

[eudaemonia]

Anecdotally, as a woman at the threshold of no return into her mid-40s it seems like sex really started to get good in my 30s and now is better than ever.

So there's $.02 worth ...

 

[vanelane]

I second eudamonia. I've always been a pretty sexual girl, but here in my forties my libido is higher than it's ever been, and my response is incredible as well. Good thing I married a younger man! Seriously, though, I think I'm a better lover than I've ever been, as well, and I was pretty damn good as a youngster!

 

[Straight-8]

I've always heard that women reach their sexual prime at 49 (and I'm sure that's as scientific as most of the things you 'hear'). There is no doubt that my partner (who recently passed 49) is doing just fine. As a result, the mere fact that my prime (if there ever was one) is lost in the mists of time doesn't seem to affect us.

In fact I agree with the suggestions above that things only improve with age (provided the plumbing keeps on working and the attitude is right). I've fortunately yet to hit the 'I ache where I used to play' stage. Hope I never do!

 

[NaughtyLil1]

As for the practical impact of a woman's age, I think women tend to learn more and more about their bodies and just as importantly (if not more so), learn more about what pleases them and the mechanics for achieving that pleasure increase. Her libido (sexual hunger and desire) increases as a result as well. And like men, her knowledge and attitude about pleasing her partner as well as herself probably leads to a greater, deeper (no pun intended) sense of satisfaction with her sexual experiences.

As a woman in her 40s, I agree with this. I think life circumstances also play a part. We are more settled, the kids are grown and leaving (my situation), and there is more time to explore ourselves and what makes us happy.

 

[dcraz]

As a woman in her 40s, I agree with this. I think life circumstances also play a part. We are more settled, the kids are grown and leaving (my situation), and there is more time to explore ourselves and what makes us happy.

Agreed. So much of the sexual experience now is mental and attitude. It is one's ability and willingness to focus on the quality (the journey vs. the destination) that makes it so much more pleasurable now. For myself, I gain more pleasure out of pleasing my partner than I do my own release. Don't get me wrong, I like exploding as much as the next guy, and there are times and places where raw, primal, animalistic lust is the call of the day (but then that belongs over in the craving thread ). But at this point in my life, it is about pleasing, being pleased in the deepest, most intimate and complete ways. Quality over quantity. Experience and prowess over inexperience and abandon.

And as you suggest, it also has much to do with the comfort we have with our bodies and the accompanying willingness to explore more boundaries. Not just the excitement of it all, but also one's learned ability to better appreciate the depth of these experiences. Ina sense, we learn how to get the most out of our experiences. We appreciate them more, they mean more to us and we look forward to them with a greater sense of opportunity than we did when we were younger.

To repeat a common ideal here - Smile, it just keeps getting better!

 

[Randy_Random]

I'd hate to argue it but when I had my ingrown toenail cut off I have to say the bills were prohibitive despite my insurance. ANd would you believe it? The toenail grew back and ois all infected again. I just think if I going to pay a mint then at least I should have a pain free toenail no?

 

[silverwhisper]

i gotta be honest, i do see a difference in my recovery period, but then again, i do find ways to keep myself occcupied until my little buddy is ready for more. :>

ed

 

[Quoll]

Sexual Prime

 

[Denae]

I've always heard that women reach their sexual prime at 49 (and I'm sure that's as scientific as most of the things you 'hear'). There is no doubt that my partner (who recently passed 49) is doing just fine. As a result, the mere fact that my prime (if there ever was one) is lost in the mists of time doesn't seem to affect us.

In fact I agree with the suggestions above that things only improve with age (provided the plumbing keeps on working and the attitude is right). I've fortunately yet to hit the 'I ache where I used to play' stage. Hope I never do!

Glad to hear this as I have a few more years to go until I reach my prime. I thought I was wasting them in celibacy.

 

[pleasteasme]

Glad to hear this as I have a few more years to go until I reach my prime. I thought I was wasting them in celibacy.

I'm going to be running out of prime here pretty quick! Nobody to take advantage of the prime-ness... oh well.

 

[Denae]

I'm going to be running out of prime here pretty quick! Nobody to take advantage of the prime-ness... oh well.

Sweetie, you've almost got 20 years until you're 49

 

[pleasteasme]

Sweetie, you've almost got 20 years until you're 49

I highly doubt that in the later 40's I could still be considered "prime"

 

[Denae]

I highly doubt that in the later 40's I could still be considered "prime"

You're still a young'un & you're just coming into your own as a woman.

 

[pleasteasme]

You're still a young'un & you're just coming into your own as a woman.

I'm not feeling so spry lately but, thanks

 

[midwestyankee]

I'm not feeling so spry lately but, thanks

Did I just see the eminently young and vivacious PTM use the word "spry" in a public post? My dear, you are at least forty years shy of having the license to use the word spry in any manner other than tongue in cheek.

You hear me, whippersnapper?

 

[bobsgirl]

I'm not feeling so spry lately but, thanks

Oh my, yes. You're starting to look quite decrepit.



I am KIDDING!

 

[LindaL]

All I can say is that when I hit my mid-thirties, I was finally comfortable (for the most part) with my body, had some self-confidence in my own abilities, had kids who could mostly manage themselves, and discovered my husband would do just about anything to please me sexually if I just asked him.

As a result, my sex life took off like a rocket, and hasn't returned to earth yet.

 

[pleasteasme]

Did I just see the eminently young and vivacious PTM use the word "spry" in a public post? My dear, you are at least forty years shy of having the license to use the word spry in any manner other than tongue in cheek.

You hear me, whippersnapper?

Thanks yank. I did use "spry." Ever have one of those days (or weeks, or even years) that you just feel like you are dragging your rear?

Now, tongue in cheek...that sounds like something for the YKYSFW thread!

 

[DLL]

I have heard that the sexual prime for a male is the late teens and early twenties. For females I heard it was the thirties.
Based on your experience, is this true?

i hope not i think i am in my prime at any age

 

[Stryderthorongil]

Hmmmmm, if what you say is true for males, I must be an oddity. Still reaching my prime here.

 

[hdlynnette]

I'll be 45 in a couple months, and my attitude towards sex has never been better. I think when a woman reaches a certain age, she accepts she will never be 25 again, nor have the body of one. Once she realizes this, she learns to work with what she's got and in my case, enjoys sex more than ever.

As for the men, give me one that's older, wiser and knows how to please his partner without trying to break a worlds record of how many times he can cum in one session.

Quality far out weighs quantity.