Is submission best left to the imagination?

[BetaCuckLoserDeniedPussy]

So I've fantasized about being dominated by a woman sexually my whole life, ever since puberty. I've never tried to get a woman to dominate me in real life, but once I sent some money to an online financial dominatrix. Leading up to sending the money, I had all these hot fantasies about being dominated by her, what would she do? Etc. But after I sent the money and told her I wanted to be dominated, I was suddenly repulsed by the whole idea of it. I mean, what could she really do online? I didn't want someone sending me instructions, etc. The whole idea just seemed appalling suddenly. I wanted all kinds of domination in my mind, where I was safe from actually being bothered by real instructions in real life. But actually having someone give me "tasks" or whatever was a total turn off. Can anyone here relate? Has anyone here had a similar feeling or experience?

 

[Goldenfinger]

So I've fantasized about being dominated by a woman sexually my whole life, ever since puberty. I've never tried to get a woman to dominate me in real life, but once I sent some money to an online financial dominatrix. Leading up to sending the money, I had all these hot fantasies about being dominated by her, what would she do? Etc. But after I sent the money and told her I wanted to be dominated, I was suddenly repulsed by the whole idea of it. I mean, what could she really do online? I didn't want someone sending me instructions, etc. The whole idea just seemed appalling suddenly. I wanted all kinds of domination in my mind, where I was safe from actually being bothered by real instructions in real life. But actually having someone give me "tasks" or whatever was a total turn off. Can anyone here relate? Has anyone here had a similar feeling or experience?

For some, a fantasy is better left a fantasy.

I find it very erotic. My wife is my domme. She was always a strong woman but after I retired from the service the dynamics of our relationship changed. It’s cheaper than a shrink and more enjoying.

 

[emme8]

Maybe you just meet to find a real woman. And submit to her a little bit at a time. And let the fantasy go.
Would that be the ideal?

 

[BetaCuckLoserDeniedPussy]

For some, a fantasy is better left a fantasy.

I find it very erotic. My wife is my domme. She was always a strong woman but after I retired from the service the dynamics of our relationship changed. It’s cheaper than a shrink and more enjoying.

I think for me, the problem was that it was an online experience. Things would probably be a lot more fun in person.

 

[BetaCuckLoserDeniedPussy]

Maybe you just meet to find a real woman. And submit to her a little bit at a time. And let the fantasy go.
Would that be the ideal?

I think you've got the right idea. I think trying to be submissive to someone online would just be annoying, but if you meet someone in person, things could be exciting in real life.

 

[lisaharlot]

Fantasies are perfect, real life isn’t. If you’re into real submission, find someone to devote yourself to. Having a list of things you want to have happen to you isn’t submission, it’s called topping from the bottom.instead, try focusing on pleasing your partner, then you can talk about all those kinky things you want done to you.

Also, your Dominatrix was probably working out of a call center next to somebody trying to get senior citizens to pay ransom ware demands.

 

[BetaCuckLoserDeniedPussy]

Fantasies are perfect, real life isn’t. If you’re into real submission, find someone to devote yourself to. Having a list of things you want to have happen to you isn’t submission, it’s called topping from the bottom.instead, try focusing on pleasing your partner, then you can talk about all those kinky things you want done to you.

Also, your Dominatrix was probably working out of a call center next to somebody trying to get senior citizens to pay ransom ware demands.

I know what you mean about fantasies being perfect vs. real life. I think my issue was the lack of real human contact when you're being "dominated" over the internet. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

 

[Goldenfinger]

I know what you mean about fantasies being perfect vs. real life. I think my issue was the lack of real human contact when you're being "dominated" over the internet. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

You also have to remember that some of the activities you see in the memes and stories here are fantasy.

 

[BetaCuckLoserDeniedPussy]

You also have to remember they some of the activities you see in the memes and stories her are fantasy.

So you said your wife dominates you. Do you mind if I ask, how did this come about? How did you let her know that you wanted to be dominated by her? How did you explain your tastes and interests to her?

 

[lisaharlot]

I know what you mean about fantasies being perfect vs. real life. I think my issue was the lack of real human contact when you're being "dominated" over the internet. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

Maybe you should find a local munch on FetLife or something like that.

 

[Goldenfinger]

So you said your wife dominates you. Do you mind if I ask, how did this come about? How did you let her know that you wanted to be dominated by her? How did you explain your tastes and interests to her?

It’s a long story. She was already strong, we were both in the military when we met. It happened slowly and I kinda pushed it on her but she was happy to take it. I had no real tastes or interest, she found them.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Having a list of things you want to have happen to you isn’t submission, it’s called topping from the bottom

It could also be a sign that you are a bottom, rather than a submissive.

Having a list of things you want to try, ideas about when etc and finding some who wants to be the top in that scenario is a totaly valid way of having fun with these things too.

 

[SPARTAN047]

I think there are SOME fantasies you should only leave for the imagination.

I won't pretend it's easy, but you could find someone to dominate you though it'll be very hard and frustrating work. It's easy if you pay but you clearly didn't like it.

 

[cuck72]

It would be great if you could keep the fantasy separate from your real life with your partner. I LOVE! to fantasize at times about being a submissive little bitch husband, and my wife a dominant woman. In my fantasy it's always, "yes dear." I think of being on my knees begging for her pussy as she stands over me, her nice hairy pussy an inch from my face. I can smell it and be so hard, but I can't touch. I think of her spanking me over her knees at times like a bad little boy. But in real life I wouldn't want my wife thinking of me as a wimpy pussy boi. And I think if you have that kind of role-play in your life, GREAT! but can your woman keep it separate when you go about your normal life. I would think it could be hard for her to think of you as a real man. But then again, a lot of kinky couples love it.

 

[SPARTAN047]

Real life fantasies usually lead to anger, disappointment, and break ups or divorces.

 

[PaxNurgle]

I think for me, the problem was that it was an online experience. Things would probably be a lot more fun in person.

Exactly this. Underline this statement with a highlighter pen.

With an online experience, you are not really connecting with anyone face to face. Therefore things like trust (Which is vital to any relationship but ESPECIALLY to a kinky one), and true intimacy, cannot exist. And with no real connection to anything other than a picture on a computer screen, you have no real connection to a true person, and therefore the idea of submitting loses it's attraction.

And that picture on the computer screen- you have no way of knowing if the person you are "interacting" with is actually that person you see on the screen. Your "Mistress" may actually be a fat bald man, living in Nishny Novgorod or Ekaterinburg, working at a server farm and happily converting your tribute dollars into rubles.

You need face to face, real-time interaction. To hang out with someone, have a face to face conversation, get to know them in person,build up some trust, then submit to them if the connection is there- and the joy it will bring will increase a thousandfold.

 

[Boat1]

So I've fantasized about being dominated by a woman sexually my whole life, ever since puberty. I've never tried to get a woman to dominate me in real life, but once I sent some money to an online financial dominatrix. Leading up to sending the money, I had all these hot fantasies about being dominated by her, what would she do? Etc. But after I sent the money and told her I wanted to be dominated, I was suddenly repulsed by the whole idea of it. I mean, what could she really do online? I didn't want someone sending me instructions, etc. The whole idea just seemed appalling suddenly. I wanted all kinds of domination in my mind, where I was safe from actually being bothered by real instructions in real life. But actually having someone give me "tasks" or whatever was a total turn off. Can anyone here relate? Has anyone here had a similar feeling or experience?

I think I understand your dilemma to some degree, as the "virtual world" really doesn't appeal to me either.
I have the most perfect Domme/Wife I could ever ask for, but an online version just wouldn't cut it for me.

For example I've never played "Grand Theft Auto" but I have hidden a fugitive until we could get his charges reduced.
I've hidden a loaded 18 wheeler, until my friend got paid.... and shockingly enough, we even his a ship for over a month.
So, yes, IRL beats the virtual world in every aspect, IMHO.

 

[lowcollar]

Absolutely person to person. I am my mistress' toy any time she wants me to be. The best!