is someone out there....

[emerald_a]

to talk to......
i feel soooo done.....
so goddamn done.

 

[emerald_a]

its ok...........forget it....i am done

 

[mokum13]

I'm here

 

[emerald_a]

thank-you mokum.......I can't do this.....not now...

 

[cally32]

Hi honey............. so, talk

 

[mokum13]

I'll stay here till you can

 

[emerald_a]

Right now I'm just feeling extremely useless.......like I really have no purpose except to keep giving..................never fuking recieving......I am so damn tired.

 

[cally32]

Giving constantly is exhausting.... you're right to want to receive, it does make a difference in the way we feel.

What's brought these feelings on....?

 

[emerald_a]

I'm not sure.....too much of people expecting me to be perfect when they can't reciprocate.....they all expect me too be there for them...but no one is there for me..........I just am so tired of trying to be perfect

 

[cally32]

Think about all the perfect people you know......... I know that I don't know any...

Don't ty to be anything but yourself

 

[emerald_a]

I don't know any perfect people.......thats what makes the people in my life special....but the people in my life want me to be the perfect person for them.....I'm so tired of trying to be THAT person.........
I'm just to tired

 

[cally32]

I'm sure you're being too hard on yourself........ If they are proper and true pals they will love you for you not the image you try to portray...... Be natural honey and know that people still love you

 

[emerald_a]

Sunshine......They aren't "pals"....one is my daughter...one my ex.....and the rest are my family........
I try to be me......but everyone expects their concerns to be first..I am just getting to the point that I feel if I'm not here......finally....they will learn how to fend for themselves

 

[Rex1960]

I'm not sure.....too much of people expecting me to be perfect when they can't reciprocate.....they all expect me too be there for them...but no one is there for me..........I just am so tired of trying to be perfect

Good morning, emerald_a

you're not responsible for those expectations others have. That's their prob if they expect more than you're able or willing to give.

I think you should just tell "them" how you feel. Upfront and rightout. Tell them about your own desires and wishes.

If they won't listen, just tell them where the door is.

And finally,
I truly believe that I'm the only one responsible for making me myself happy. I just take what I deserve (without hurting other's feelings).
Sometimes I'm in a giving mood and give whatever it takes. I take my own pleasure out of it without expecting any payback.

Sometimes I'm in the receiving mood and just relax and receive. Doing so I please someone other's giving mood. But I tell them they shouldn't expect anything.

Hope you're able to understand my point. Otherwise blame it on my rotten english.

Rex

 

[emerald_a]

Good morning, emerald_a

you're not responsible for those expectations others have. That's their prob if they expect more than you're able or willing to give.

I think you should just tell "them" how you feel. Upfront and rightout. Tell them about your own desires and wishes.

If they won't listen, just tell them where the door is.

And finally,
I truly believe that I'm the only one responsible for making me myself happy. I just take what I deserve (without hurting other's feelings).
Sometimes I'm in a giving mood and give whatever it takes. I take my own pleasure out of it without expecting any payback.

Sometimes I'm in the receiving mood and just relax and receive. Doing so I please someone other's giving mood. But I tell them they shouldn't expect anything.

Hope you're able to understand my point. Otherwise blame it on my rotten english.

Rex

I do truly try to do this hon....I guess in some respects I do find this hard because of my upbringing.....(you can ask about it in PM) but for some reason......tonight...as is other nights....it just sort of hits hard.....
I try to make others lives a little easier....surprising them with whatever.....and all of a sudden its a given that it "should be done"
WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?????

 

[Rex1960]

I do truly try to do this hon....I guess in some respects I do find this hard because of my upbringing.....(you can ask about it in PM) but for some reason......tonight...as is other nights....it just sort of hits hard.....
I try to make others lives a little easier....surprising them with whatever.....and all of a sudden its a given that it "should be done"
WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?????

See emerald, I know exactly what you're talking about
Been there, done that and ended fucked up...

Especially when it's not just some friends/pals/mates but our very own family, who are pulling and pulling and the more we give the more they demand and expect.
I'd like to think that we somehow feed their expectations.

But that only works to a certain line, that they've crossed now.
And since it's you who draws that line it 's now up to you to tell them. Tell them how you feel, tell them where that line is, tell them that they've crossed it.
Communication is the key word here. With a line drawn in your head only they'll never have the chance to realize that there is a line they've crossed. And I wouldn't be surprised to hear them telling you "OOPS, sorry, if only I've known that earlier"

 

[emerald_a]

hey sunshine....

Thank-you..............I know you're right.....totally!!
I have tried to be there for my sister.....my ex's......and most important my daughter.......
But damn it....I'm only one person and the more I give....the more they expect. It is time....time for me to frigging stand up and say HEY!!!!!!! Enough!!
Now is my time.....seriously.....I have spent over 30 years worrying and taking care of people......it is my time....
Thank-you hon for taking time out of your night to help me.

 

[Rex1960]

Re: hey sunshine....

Thank-you..............I know you're right.....totally!!
I have tried to be there for my sister.....my ex's......and most important my daughter.......
But damn it....I'm only one person and the more I give....the more they expect. It is time....time for me to frigging stand up and say HEY!!!!!!! Enough!!
Now is my time.....seriously.....I have spent over 30 years worrying and taking care of people......it is my time....
Thank-you hon for taking time out of your night to help me.

Is this me you're calling sunshine ???
If no, I remain quietly blushing....
If yes, I'm blushing anyway

You're welcome, emerald
no prob taking time of my morning (it's almost 12:30pm here in my office...)

Rex

 

[emerald_a]

GOOD GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IT IS ALMOST 4 IN THE MORNING HERE!!!!!!!!!!
I MUST GO TO BED OR SOMETHING.......LOL
AND YES SWEETIE......I WAS CALLING U.....ONLY U.......SUNSHINE!!!
THANX AGAIN SWEETIE.........YOU PUT A SMILE ON MY FACE

 

[Rex1960]

easy there, no need to shout that loud

your Av does that all the time to me and a lot of others

so, why don't you just consider it PAYBACK-TIME !!!

 

[emerald_a]

OPPS....

Got stuck there...
Thank-you though hon......seriously......not to often I'm down but tonight was an exceptionally bad time for me........you put a on my face and I needed that! Thank-you to everyone who helped this stupid woman get through a bad night!!