Is romance a fetish/kink?

[Chloe_Harper]

So, I'm curious... when people ask you about your kinks/fetishes/limits, is romance one you think should be listed or do you think that it is a separate thing? I always considered romance separately from the kinks and fetishes I associated with fun sex, but I'm starting to wonder if people see it as its own kink. I would love to hear different sides of this. I no longer feel as though I'm on one side or the other as I try to expand my views of what makes something fall into these categories. Convert me or convince me my original opinion was the right one!

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

I believe romance is different for different people..

I don't particularly need flowers in general.. But if he got me purple flowers because he knows it's my favorite color... That's a romantical gesture..

Or doing things that are my love language.. That's romance..

For me, I get aroused by being treated with respect... Sometimes I orgasm at the idea that someone has treated me amazing!!

So, romance is a kink to me...

 

[Chloe_Harper]

I believe romance is different for different people..

I don't particularly need flowers in general.. But if he got me purple flowers because he knows it's my favorite color... That's a romantical gesture..

Or doing things that are my love language.. That's romance..

For me, I get aroused by being treated with respect... Sometimes I orgasm at the idea that someone has treated me amazing!!

So, romance is a kink to me...

I agree that romance is different for everyone. Just as what kind of flowers people like to receive, if any. If you're getting aroused and orgasming from being treated with respect and in respect to your love language, then I could see how romance could be considered a kink in this case.

 

[AlwaysDancing]

Ooo I’ve never connected these dots before.

I think romance is how we play when we’re in love (or attracted, or infatuated or or or).

I think sex happens all the time without having anything to do with love.

But is romance a kink?

I’m going to say yes!! I never thought about it before.

But no matter how vanilla, no matter how dirty, the sex is … no matter how soft or hard … it can absolutely be enhanced by an intentional, deliberate romantic connection…

Yup. I’m voting yes.

Is it my kink or not? I decline to answer

 

[Chloe_Harper]

Ooo I’ve never connected these dots before.

I think romance is how we play when we’re in love (or attracted, or infatuated or or or).

I think sex happens all the time without having anything to do with love.

But is romance a kink?

I’m going to say yes!! I never thought about it before.

But no matter how vanilla, no matter how dirty, the sex is … no matter how soft or hard … it can absolutely be enhanced by an intentional, deliberate romantic connection…

Yup. I’m voting yes.

Is it my kink or not? I decline to answer

See, this is why I love Lit. Getting to talk out these things that you never considered before with people that maybe also never considered them before.

I agree, romantic connection can enhance an experience, no matter what kind, but does that make it a kink? Or, does it just make actual kinks better? Is the romance genre just the universally accepted kink in literature?

You've definitely given me something to think about though.

 

[AlwaysDancing]

I’m thinking that it’s a kink all by itself. Some people are out there not interested in sex until they have a romantic connection.

a lot of kinks complement each other anyway. Why can’t romance complement kinks by itself.

 

[AlwaysDancing]

And also, I think romance is a turn off for some people.

Further supporting that its a kink

 

[SavannaT]

Depends on context, what if the kink is falling in love with a kidnapper or stalker or someone I just plain hate? Thats a kink of mine

 

[Chloe_Harper]

That is very true. There have been certain role-playing experiences where I have requested no romance because it would have taken away from the other themes. So, having it as a limit makes sense that it can be a kink. There are definitely times where romance adds to the scene too. Enemies to lovers, in extremes like Savanna's, is a great example of where romance could be considered kink. Y'all are definitely converting me.

 

[mark_j]

Personally, I think the word "kink" is over used.

YMMV

 

[UsuallyPresent]

My 2c (if you're in a generous mood) is that romance CAN be a kink or fetish, but has broad cultural acceptance to the point where it's vanilla. Taken to extremes, it has definite fetishistic overtones, but the bulk of the time the normal populace accept and understand it, and thus it avoids the 'fetish' or 'kink' label.

 

[Chloe_Harper]

My 2c (if you're in a generous mood) is that romance CAN be a kink or fetish, but has broad cultural acceptance to the point where it's vanilla. Taken to extremes, it has definite fetishistic overtones, but the bulk of the time the normal populace accept and understand it, and thus it avoids the 'fetish' or 'kink' label.

Oooh, this is a good point. The most normalized and accepted "fetish/kink" to the point that it no longer is one. I find this a fascinating way of looking at this.

 

[WonderPonder]

I believe in my situation it is. Being in the hotwife-cuckold lifestyle I believe it is between my wife and our friend and neighbor.

 

[EdwardsOtherSide]

Potentially controversial opinion; romance has become a kink.

While not universal, dating/hook-up apps are mostly normal, and it seems like they polarized dating & relationships. Either folks want minimal emotional commitment or maximum emotional commitment.
Romance, to me, is about cultivating and nurturing emotional commitment through creativity, tenderness, empathy, sensitivity to your partner's (prospective partner's) needs and tastes.

The assumption seems to be that romantic gestures are either transactional (dinner in exchange for sex or vis versa) or exploitive ("He's manipulating her!").
The idea of taking your time, and creating an appealing experience as a gift to another seems to be lost.

 

[Britva415]

I’m thinking that it’s a kink all by itself. Some people are out there not interested in sex until they have a romantic connection.

Sounds more like a fetish, when you put it that way!

 

[Phatfeet]

So, I'm curious... when people ask you about your kinks/fetishes/limits, is romance one you think should be listed or do you think that it is a separate thing? I always considered romance separately from the kinks and fetishes I associated with fun sex, but I'm starting to wonder if people see it as its own kink. I would love to hear different sides of this. I no longer feel as though I'm on one side or the other as I try to expand my views of what makes something fall into these categories. Convert me or convince me my original opinion was the right one!

I think it can be for certain people.

I knew of a lady that admitted she was addicted to getting married and while she was hesitant to admit this, often just saying, "that husband was a mistake", she told me in confidence that she just loved being the center of attention, the hopes and dreams of a new marriage, the thrill of months of dramatic wedding planning. The thrill of her latest husband swooning over her".

I am not sure if that is outside of the rather vague "romance fetish" or not, but I think its close. It certainly has one aspect in line with all fetish's; it could be very destructive to a person. She is especially setting herself up with destructive men who flippantly get married just to give her that rush she is looking for.

But I say all fetishes CAN BE destructive because if a husband can only get turned on by his wife wearing high heels that is a huge problem. Or if has to wear her panties before having sex. Or any of the other fetish's. When it becomes an obsession needing to be done before sex can happen, it is an issue. It's okay to have a fetish, but just must be guarded against so that the act itself does not become more loved than the person who allows it.

So I think that lady had that romance fetish, but it is also extremely rare in the physical sense of it. I think a whole industry has been set up for those inflicted with the romance fetish though which we call Romance Novels. Tons of people are addicted to that, which is, to be swept off their feet. Since the partners in their lives often do not measure up, they have ready access to novels that provide them what they crave via imagination that they cannot get in real life.

 

[subdudeme13]

I just found this, great question. I think it can be but I need some time to think about it. For me, the bonds of the heart are the strongest.

 

[Boat1]

So, I'm curious... when people ask you about your kinks/fetishes/limits, is romance one you think should be listed or do you think that it is a separate thing? I always considered romance separately from the kinks and fetishes I associated with fun sex, but I'm starting to wonder if people see it as its own kink. I would love to hear different sides of this. I no longer feel as though I'm on one side or the other as I try to expand my views of what makes something fall into these categories. Convert me or convince me my original opinion was the right one!

I don't really consider romance to be a kink. I DO consider it to be a way of daily living, especially at home, but even with daily interactions with people in general.

 

[subdudeme13]

I don't really consider romance to be a kink. I DO consider it to be a way of daily living, especially at home, but even with daily interactions with people in general.

Come on now. You know you love being romantically whipped into shape! What is more romantic than kneeling down and kissing the floor she just walked on?

 

[lifeis2short2b]

I love the romance. I don't know any other way. I've been told by a few different women " You don't have sex with me, You make love to me "
Fetish ? Kink ? Or just a love of women ?

 

[Boat1]

Come on now. You know you love being romantically whipped into shape! What is more romantic than kneeling down and kissing the floor she just walked on?

It just doesn't get any better than that!

 

[ManifestWill]

In my brain, romance is less of a kink and more of a potential Kink Mad Libs. It can be as vanilla as you want or as delightful as you want.