Is my wife stepping out, or looking to? Would like opinions!

[RegularGuy48]

Hello all--I'm pretty new here; let this post double as my new-to-Lit-intro.

I'm just wondering what to think about some changes in my wife's dress and actions...maybe I'm reading too much into it, or maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part?

The backstory: I'm 48, she's 42, and she really is the one for me, marriage wise and sexually. A great stay at home mom, as well as a true MILF. We both enjoy watching porn from time to time; our favorite movies are one woman with multiple men (but not the 200 man gangbang types).

We've been married 20 years, and I'm the only man she's had intercourse with. My fantasy has been to watch her and another man make love, and then join in after a while. She's aware of this--several years ago I penned a story about her getting gang banged and after she read it she was extremely horny--she was as wet as I'd ever seen her, and she orgasmed almost immediately after we started making love.

I asked once about having a threesome with another guy, and she said, well who would we get? I said that would be up to you. She thought about it but said nothing. A couple months ago she brought a bottle of wine into the bedroom called "Menage A Trois", and I said, does this mean you're ready for it? She just laughed!

Over the past few months she's gotten away from her usual loose jeans and t shirts. Now she usually wears the skin tight skinny jeans and tight tops, sometimes with knee high boots with 3" spike heels. And man does she look hot...

And makeup more often, too--she went out recently to a fundraiser one night to man a table with the above mentioned outfit with eye shadow and bright red lipstick--unusual for her! A couple weeks ago I came back from work and noticed she had eye shadow on; she said she just felt like dressing up that day.

During the winter months we'll often make love by the fireplace on the floor; the room for this is sunk in the ground with two large windows in it at ground level. Anyone walking through the yard can look in--there are no curtains or blinds at all. From the neighbor's house across the street you can see right in our front window from the upstairs of their house. One mild night we had the fire going and several teenage boys from the neighborhood were out running around; two of them live across the street. She stood in front of the window in her lingerie watching them; I remarked that we really should get some curtains up because if they knew what was going on in here they'd be standing outside jerking off to her. She said nothing; she just came over to me and we layed next to the fire. And we still don't have curtains!

Having been the only man she's been with, I surely understand if she's curious about trying someone new. I'm not pressuring her in any way for a threesome--she knows my fantasy and if she wants it to happen it's up to her.

So what do you think? She just wants to look good these days, or she's looking to see if anyone is interested in her? I know guys are--I see them check her out quite often. Am I overthinking this? Something tells me I am. Just want to hear your opinions!

 

[bailadora]

I'm not trying bust your chops or anything, but why aren't you asking her what's going on?

The reasons behind her actions could be totally innocent. Or not. The thing is - anything anyone here says is pure speculation. The only way you're going to find out what's REALLY going on is to communicate with your wife.

 

[RegularGuy48]

I'm not trying bust your chops or anything, but why aren't you asking her what's going on?

The reasons behind her actions could be totally innocent. Or not. The thing is - anything anyone here says is pure speculation. The only way you're going to find out what's REALLY going on is to communicate with your wife.

You have a valid question, bailadora--she has never been open about sexuality; she's always been VERY conservative. I have always had to make the first move to initiate sex, and she is not comfortable with explicit discussions.

I have asked her about the outfits and make up--she says she likes the fit and style and she just feels like dressing up (I've told her she looks fantastic, as well).

I also asked her about it when she brought the "Menage A Trois" bottle of wine home, but she just laughed and said no more.

So yes, I have attempted to see what, if anything, she has in mind, but she's not one to open up on sexual issues, and I'm not going to force her to talk about something she is not ready to discuss as of yet.

I also know that all answers I get will be just guesses--I've been around enough internet forums to see that any question you ask, even one that should have a simple yes or no answer, will have an endless variety of reponses. You will not find a definitive answer to a question asked on any forum, whatever the topic!

Just wondering what opinions are out there...

 

[bailadora]

It seems to me that she's given you a perfectly valid reason for the renewed attention regarding her appearance. The question then becomes: do you believe her? From the wording of your post, it sounds like you don't. Or at least not entirely.

I'm also a SAHM and at times, I definitely feel like I put myself on the back burner in order to take care of everyone else. Maybe she's just decided that it's time she pay more attention to herself for a change.

Regarding the Menage a Trois wine. Yeah, I think you're reading too much there. My husband and I often choose a wine because of the catchy name or label. With the more suggestive ones, we'll give each other the ol' eyebrow waggle as a tease. It's a game with us.

 

[RegularGuy48]

I think you're right about paying attention to herself--she deserves it too. SAHM can surely be a thankless job...I'm not sure if I would be up to it if the roles were reversed.

Probably it's that a part of me wants to believe she's out looking--cougar on the prowl and all that. Like it's making me think, wow, maybe she's ready to try it at last!

But then again, I'm mindful of "be careful what you ask for". It's very erotic to imagine her with another man, but to actually watch it happen...I don't know...

 

[1sickbastard]

It takes a whole lot of trust and confidence to open up a marriage. Trust in one's self, one's partner, and the strength of the relationship.
My advice is to initiate more sex with her and do so more often. Make her feel like the desired, sensual woman she is.

And for adding a third, yes, do be careful what you wish for....

 

[wicked woman]

Menage a trois is a nice wine. I have a friend that enjoys the reaction he gets from its name, as I suspect your wife does, knowing your fantasy. I wouldn't read anymore into it.

From what you've posted, it sounds to me like you're reading your fantasy of a 3-some into her actions. If all she's doing is dressing in a manner that's more becoming to her I wouldn't read anything into it regarding having another lover. It could just be passing 40.

Personally I'm with asking her, but that's your call.

 

[RAddams]

Having never been with another man, she is probably nervous about the thought of it. She is also probably unsure if you are really serious about it. You really need to have a serious open discussion about it and make clear where each of you stand on the issue.

 

[roomfor1more]

We share many similar experiences including being our wives first. At one point in our relationship we had a few threesomes and what some would term cuckold experiences, though I see them more as a varation of a threesome. It was her that brought up the idea and I suspect, she brought it up as a way to keep my interest in her by showing my she can be sexually liberated. Then after a few experiences and moving several thousand miles it came to an end.

After about five years since moving, I have suggested about trying it again and like your wife, my wife will act as though she is considering the idea. At time she will joke about having a "boyfriend" and will act as though she is open to the idea buy talking about guys she would like to fuck. However, she always pulls back from the idea as it gets close to fruition. I suspect you wife is probaly playing mind-games with you to get you aroused and to let you mind run wild. Best thing to do is not to pressure her, giving her space on the subject, and see where things go.

 

[Hopeorless1]

Hello all--I'm pretty new here; let this post double as my new-to-Lit-intro.

I'm just wondering what to think about some changes in my wife's dress and actions...maybe I'm reading too much into it, or maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part?

The backstory: I'm 48, she's 42, and she really is the one for me, marriage wise and sexually. A great stay at home mom, as well as a true MILF. We both enjoy watching porn from time to time; our favorite movies are one woman with multiple men (but not the 200 man gangbang types).

We've been married 20 years, and I'm the only man she's had intercourse with. My fantasy has been to watch her and another man make love, and then join in after a while. She's aware of this--several years ago I penned a story about her getting gang banged and after she read it she was extremely horny--she was as wet as I'd ever seen her, and she orgasmed almost immediately after we started making love.

I asked once about having a threesome with another guy, and she said, well who would we get? I said that would be up to you. She thought about it but said nothing. A couple months ago she brought a bottle of wine into the bedroom called "Menage A Trois", and I said, does this mean you're ready for it? She just laughed!

Over the past few months she's gotten away from her usual loose jeans and t shirts. Now she usually wears the skin tight skinny jeans and tight tops, sometimes with knee high boots with 3" spike heels. And man does she look hot...

And makeup more often, too--she went out recently to a fundraiser one night to man a table with the above mentioned outfit with eye shadow and bright red lipstick--unusual for her! A couple weeks ago I came back from work and noticed she had eye shadow on; she said she just felt like dressing up that day.

During the winter months we'll often make love by the fireplace on the floor; the room for this is sunk in the ground with two large windows in it at ground level. Anyone walking through the yard can look in--there are no curtains or blinds at all. From the neighbor's house across the street you can see right in our front window from the upstairs of their house. One mild night we had the fire going and several teenage boys from the neighborhood were out running around; two of them live across the street. She stood in front of the window in her lingerie watching them; I remarked that we really should get some curtains up because if they knew what was going on in here they'd be standing outside jerking off to her. She said nothing; she just came over to me and we layed next to the fire. And we still don't have curtains!

Having been the only man she's been with, I surely understand if she's curious about trying someone new. I'm not pressuring her in any way for a threesome--she knows my fantasy and if she wants it to happen it's up to her.

So what do you think? She just wants to look good these days, or she's looking to see if anyone is interested in her? I know guys are--I see them check her out quite often. Am I overthinking this? Something tells me I am. Just want to hear your opinions!

Seems like she is almost rediscovering herself as a sexual, hot momma! She may be wondering about other people, but I would say its more of one of those things where she just likes showing off her goods. Or she may be interested in swinging/sharing a bit. Here's the thing- you gotta ask! Talk with her about it- and don't be negative. This sounds like a great thing for her; she probably feels very happy and sexy. Just ask her why non judgementally

 

[Lust Engine]

Just ask her why non judgementally

I think this is really the key here. Do it in such a way where you're still going to love and adore her whichever direction she chooses to go.

And not knowing her- she does need to open up to you. You're the one doing all of the initiating here and she needs to reciprocate somewhat with very honest answers. If she's unsure- she just needs to come out and say so.

But again, this is where you need to re-assure her your commitment and being non-judgmental in the listening process.

 

[RegularGuy48]

I thank you all--these are all thoughtful answers. Other forums/sites I've snooped around on are crude. If I had asked this question there, a typical response probably would have been, "lemme fuck her in the ass and cum on her face in front of you" or something to that effect.

Anyhow, over a couple glasses of wine (not Menage A Trois) I asked her about another man. It had been awhile since I'd mentioned this, and she loosens up after a couple drinks. She says that while it's fun to think about, it ain't gonna happen. And I agree--I don't think it would work for us. A great jerk-off fantasy for sure, but then I think of that movie with Robert Redford and Demi Moore about Redford paying the couple a million bucks to sleep with her, and their marriage implodes soon after. Too risky...

 

[bailadora]

I thank you all--these are all thoughtful answers. Other forums/sites I've snooped around on are crude. If I had asked this question there, a typical response probably would have been, "lemme fuck her in the ass and cum on her face in front of you" or something to that effect.

It was smart of you to ask this on the HT boards. If you'd gone to the GB, you'd likely have gotten the above and worse as responses.

 

[Lust Engine]

It was smart of you to ask this on the HT boards. If you'd gone to the GB, you'd likely have gotten the above and worse as responses.

On the General Board they would've had the wooden stakes sharpened and the torches at the ready. Here it's more about an intelligent discussion- that's not to say there can be some flippant remarks from time to time, but I think the people that are on this section of Lit are generally helpful, good hearted souls.

 

[bailadora]

On the General Board they would've had the wooden stakes sharpened and the torches at the ready. Here it's more about an intelligent discussion- that's not to say there can be some flippant remarks from time to time, but I think the people that are on this section of Lit are generally helpful, good hearted souls.

*nods*

I lurk all over Lit, but I hang my hat here.