Is it love?

[curiousslave94]

Is it possible to fall in love with your Dom if you have only ever instant messaged online, and haven't seen each others faces.
How do you know its love, when you haven't seen his face and he hasn't seen yours?
Any one know if it is love or something else?

 

[Stella_Omega]

Is it possible to fall in love with your Dom if you have only ever instant messaged online, and haven't seen each others faces.
How do you know its love, when you haven't seen his face and he hasn't seen yours?
Any one know if it is love or something else?

Humans are capable of huge leaps of faith. men and women used to fall in love through writing letters to each other-- waiting weeks between delivery.

You are able to communicate much quicker then that-- yes, you can fall in love. I know several couples who met online.

But it doesnt always translate when people finally meet face-to-face. We need certain chemical signals-- pheromones have to be right for us to be comfortable in someone else's presence. And if you have even the loosest of physical preferences-- it's possible that you will be utterly disappointed, or he will. it's no one's fault, that. You would have screened each other out under face-to-face conditions.

Plus-- you can't truly judge someone as a person, if they are only domming you. There are a million and one other interactions that make up a relationship.

What else might it be if it isn't love? Gratification, which is no small thing in a person's life, let me tell you. If you guys have a limited exchange which is always successful-- awesome! Enjoy it for what it is.

 

[curiousslave94]

Thank you for that Stella it clears thing up a lot.

 

[velvet_crush]

I've narrowed this online v. real life relationship thing down to whether it's your pussy (or cock) talking or your head talking.

I started my bdsm life online. I learned a ton 'o stuff. I fell in love (or was it lust?). The feelings are super super strong. I'd stay up way too late "talking" to someone because my heart raced and my pussy - well - it was feeling stuff it hadn't felt ever!

Like Stella said, enjoy it for what it is. Learn about yourself, learn about bdsm. Decide whether this is a relationship that will move in to real life. If it is, realize the romance of online goes goes away once you hear him fart or you work a long day and don't really want to (fill in the blank).

By the way, I met my Dominant online and we now live together.

 

[desertslave]

I believe! LOL I'd better or there's a freaky stranger sharing my bed.

We met online 13 years ago because of an ad I posted. He swept me off my feet, first by email then in chat. (Dangerous stuff, that.) Long story short, we've been married for 7 years. Sometimes the reality doesn't match up to our fantasies, but that's real life, and you persevere.

We've had our rough patches, but I'm still crazy about him. Lately I'm not sure he feels the same way about me, but I'm here, waiting patiently and hopefully. Maybe he'll even read this.

He's not my first Master, but he is most certainly the best, and I'm grateful beyond words that he found me when he did. I hope he finds me again, soon.

 

[Primalex]

Is it possible to fall in love with your Dom if you have only ever instant messaged online, and haven't seen each others faces.
How do you know its love, when you haven't seen his face and he hasn't seen yours?
Any one know if it is love or something else?

You can love a lot of things. Like the messages you get or the attention or your communication with him. And you can love the image you have in your head about him. But I doubt that you love him.

 

[UhOhItsMerci]

I think at the moment, you love how he makes you feel. And your enamored with the image of him you have constructed in your mind based on his words. I would truly be wary about calling those feelings love though.

Try to keep yourself level headed and try not to inflate his image. Everyone has flaws and sometimes its hard to remember that when talking to someone online. Remember that you are only seeing what the person on the other end wants you to see.

Don't put too much pressure on trying to label your feelings and try not to build up this perfect image of a man. The more you build within your mind, the more room you leave for disappointment.

Just have fun, and learn things about yourself and learn things about him. Don't sweat the small stuff

 

[Brunne]

Is it possible to fall in love with your Dom if you have only ever instant messaged online, and haven't seen each others faces.
How do you know its love, when you haven't seen his face and he hasn't seen yours?
Any one know if it is love or something else?

Honestly? To answer your first question - is it possible - yes. Possibly. What you have online could possibly translate into a real-life relationship. But there is no guarantee. As the others have said, being in person is very different than being online, and that doesn't even touch on the complexities of having a relationship or living together.

But if you're asking how do you know it's love...that can take any number of things to answer.

I knew my partner online for about 4 years before we met in person. The irony was that we didn't realise we'd fallen in love until the day we met in person. We thought we were just odd...friends. Then we clapped eyes on each other and everything changed.

So nothing is impossible, but you will never know unless you meet.

 

[subwannabe]

People have to take online for what it really is. It is a computer screen (or whatever). You can only fall in love with a real person. You may think you are in love with a computer but in reality you can't fall in love with with a tech gadget (OK some would argue with this). What I'm trying to say is that I met my current wife online but it was only when we met in person that I realized she was real and that I could really fall in love. You are fooling yourself if you think you are in love with someone who is not real (at least yet). The person you are falling "in love" with could be Jack the Ripper or a great con-artist who is going to take all of your money. Or he could be Homer Simpson. Or is Homer Simpson real? Now I'm confused.

 

[Cautious_Eli]

I think calling it love is probably a stretch. I agree with the general sentiment that what you build online is something different than real life, but I certainly am not dismissive of how important that can be.

Just remember that you are mostly in love with an idea of who this person is. It's easier online to see what you want to see and overlook other attributes. That doesnt mean the other person isn't someone you care deeply for, and who gives you something in your life you are looking for.

Enjoy what it is, or what you do have, more than trying to define it and make it into something it is not. If it becomes something more, that can be great too.

 

[desertslave]

People have to take online for what it really is. It is a computer screen (or whatever). You can only fall in love with a real person. You may think you are in love with a computer but in reality you can't fall in love with with a tech gadget (OK some would argue with this). What I'm trying to say is that I met my current wife online but it was only when we met in person that I realized she was real and that I could really fall in love. You are fooling yourself if you think you are in love with someone who is not real (at least yet). The person you are falling "in love" with could be Jack the Ripper or a great con-artist who is going to take all of your money. Or he could be Homer Simpson. Or is Homer Simpson real? Now I'm confused.

If you draw that sentiment out, blind people can't fall in love. Also, people have been conned in person for centuries prior to the internet. As a kid I would try to find something good on TV when I was home sick, and I can remember several episodes of "talk shows" discussing people leading double lives, outright lying, etc. The Net has made it easier for some folks, but it most surely didn't create the potential for deceit.

I didn't fall in love with the computer screen. I fell in love with the words, the thoughts, the ideals and aspirations that Master conveyed to me, using the Net as a tool. Means and message are two different, discrete things.

In some ways, IF both parties are being genuinely themselves (with the usual best foot forward that most new couples go through, even IRL), having an online relationship can be a serious enhancement. How much does the average couple fully communicate during a "dinner and a movie" date? Compare that to chats that could last hours at a time. By the time Master and I met in person (about 7 months later) most of the awkwardness was gone except for the pesky physical stuff like which side to tilt my head for our first kiss.