Is it just me..?

[silent_serenity]

Okay, so first off I'm not entirely sure where to post this thread but I thought it'd be a good fit here. I'm also new to this community so I'm still learning how things work on here as well.

Now moving onto the reason I'm posting this thread.

I would like to know if I'm the only girl who actually enjoys being physically slapped during or leading up to sex. From what I've read on here and heard from others they are appalled by this.

I was also wondering about the following things I enjoy, because well I seem to be the only person who enjoys them. They are as follows:

Hitting (as stated before)
Pulling of hair
Spanking, hard enough to hurt a lot
Physically held down by someone - I don't like the idea of having a piece of clothing or anything really holding me down I'd rather have that person do it
Being called something along the lines of a slut/whore
Choking or rather the sensation that I am being choked
Bitting - Hard enough to bruise ( i also love doing this )

 

[Stella_Omega]

Lots and lots and LOTS of women-- and men too -- love to be on the receiving end of all of those activities.

 

[the captians wench]

Hi, welcome to the group. On the left you'll find "stingy" toys, on the right you'll find the "thuddy" toys, and scattered about are a mix of other sinsation enhancing tools.

Yes, you're a freak, just like the rest of us. Welcome, pull up a seat.

Okay, I'm more than a little drugged right now (legally), I'm sure some one will be alone shortly with the proper links. In the mean time check out the thread titled "BDSM Library" lots of good stuff there.

 

[SxeSub]

Nothing wrong with any of it when it's in the right sexual context.

 

[Licia]

You're in good company, silent serenity.

Relatively new to the site myself, I wonder if perhaps you hail from a smaller town? A BDSM community in my area is non-existant. 'Tis why I landed here; most of my RL friends think I'm...a tad "off".

 

[BiBunny]

That's pretty much bog-standard stuff around here. Y'know, BDSM board and all.

 

[silent_serenity]

You're in good company, silent serenity.

Relatively new to the site myself, I wonder if perhaps you hail from a smaller town? A BDSM community in my area is non-existant. 'Tis why I landed here; most of my RL friends think I'm...a tad "off".

I'm actually in the same boat as you are. My town is relitivly small, and there isn't a community like this period. There isn't even a sex shop, a strip club or anything like that here either. Anything like that is over 2 hrs away.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I'm actually in the same boat as you are. My town is relitivly small, and there isn't a community like this period. There isn't even a sex shop, a strip club or anything like that here either. Anything like that is over 2 hrs away.

have you joined fetlife.com?
it's kind of like facebook,only for pervs Obviously post safely is your first concern, but you never know who might share your tastes...

 

[Licia]

I'm actually in the same boat as you are. My town is relitivly small, and there isn't a community like this period. There isn't even a sex shop, a strip club or anything like that here either. Anything like that is over 2 hrs away.

Blah, frustrating.

There is a college town about an hour away, but I/we just do not have the time it would take to flow into the proper channels. I happened upon a leather community, but popping up once doesn't really count for much, and they're suspicious of heteros. *shrugs* Hell, even the sex shops located an hour away advertise by word of mouth; therefore, yay interwebz.

Eh, maybe I'll do another run down the mountain. What's the worst an old Teddy Bear can do? Eat me for breakfast, I'd wager.

 

[silent_serenity]

have you joined fetlife.com?
it's kind of like facebook,only for pervs Obviously post safely is your first concern, but you never know who might share your tastes...

I've never even heard of it to be honest, but thank you for sharing. I may check it out

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Yes, you're the only one in the world who ever felt or even *thought of* those things as being sexy or desirable.

In case you can't tell, that's sarcasm. No, darlin', you're not the only one; it's not just you. Google BDSM Munch and follow some of those links to sites that list munches in your state. Find Fetlife.com, as Stella said. (A lot of folks from here are there, too, btw.)

If all else fails in your locale... MOVE! This is the most mobile century in the most mobile country in the history of the world. Unless you have a job that only exists in that one place on earth that you currently live, you can find it - or a similar one, or some other one that you are qualified to do - elsewhere. Probably in an elsewhere that is civilized enough to have people who like to beat on other people, or be beaten *by* other people, in a sexual manner.

Good luck... and welcome to the BDSM Talk forum and its darling child, the BDSM Café! People here are pretty nice, on the whole, knowledgeable and willing to share that knowledge, and don't much bite - unless you want them to.

ETA: Just noticed that you list your location as NC. Trust me. There are Lit BDSM folks within 150 miles of you, and *numerous* BDSM groups within that same radius. This site will maybe get you started in your search for a group.

 

[silent_serenity]

People here are pretty nice, on the whole, knowledgeable and willing to share that knowledge, and don't much bite - unless you want them to.

I like biting

 

[Sir_Winston54]

I like biting

Don't miss the "ETA" (Edited To Add) in my post....

 

[silent_serenity]

ETA: Just noticed that you list your location as NC. Trust me. There are Lit BDSM folks within 150 miles of you, and *numerous* BDSM groups within that same radius. This site will maybe get you started in your search for a group.

Thank you so much

 

[KoPilot]

Doesn't sound like you looked very hard.

Your list is pretty standard, I'd say.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Doesn't sound like you looked very hard.

Your list is pretty standard, I'd say.

Strangely enough, KP, a lot of people - no matter how experienced in *other* ways, even the computer-savvy - when they first start having yearnings in this realm don't think or believe that they'll find what they're looking for in Google. WE know better... but if you think back to your own beginnings in seeking out what you wanted and needed, did you automatically go to Lit, FetLife, and other such sites, or know enough to Google BDSM munches, groups, etc? I know I didn't when I started looking online, and I had been in the BDSM culture for close to two decades, and had checked out several groups that I had found through other sources.

Just that Serenity found *Lit* and then the BDSM forum was a pretty fair start, and then to have the guts to open a discussion - one that exposed her desires and needs: desires and needs that much of our society considers perverted and evil, and a discussion that also exposed her lack of knowledge *about* those desires/needs - is even better.

I know I've been guilty of tromping with hobnailed, steel-toed boots on the heads of a few new posters here, but if you were to look back at those trompings, I think you'd find that nearly without exception they came when the noobs wandered in here and presumed to insinuate or outright say that they knew "the one twue way," and tried to explicate that to us and educate us. When it appears that someone is truly searching for information and more knowledge of their own psyche and needs, most of us usually try to gently point them in the right direction to get where they want and need to go.

 

[sethp]

have you joined fetlife.com?
it's kind of like facebook,only for pervs Obviously post safely is your first concern, but you never know who might share your tastes...

what a cool site! I just joined like 2 seconds ago! Thanks!

 

[shy slave]

I can understand why KoPilot may have made their comment.

I was slightly taken aback by the OP saying that 'From what I have read on here....appalled by it.'

Really? I just did a quick flick through the last couple of pages and cannot find any appalled comments.

I agree its a tame list. I also agree with Sir W's post.

It can be difficult to find your way out of the porn flicks and into various discussion boards, but its not impossible or we would never be here or Fet Life, a place I rarely go as I hate the layout and subscribing to every damn thread just to make an odd comment. Actually drives me crazy!

That said, it is good that we don't bite every noob just because they ask the same question that can be found in the library or on the first page of threads.

Nothing wrong with a question, but soemtimes figuring out the answer is a journey initself.

I wish I could go back and read just how many dumb things I said when I arrived, I know there were a fair few, and no doubt I will continue to do that a time or two more

 

[the captians wench]

I can understand why KoPilot may have made their comment.

I was slightly taken aback by the OP saying that 'From what I have read on here....appalled by it.'

Really? I just did a quick flick through the last couple of pages and cannot find any appalled comments.

I agree its a tame list. I also agree with Sir W's post.

It can be difficult to find your way out of the porn flicks and into various discussion boards, but its not impossible or we would never be here or Fet Life, a place I rarely go as I hate the layout and subscribing to every damn thread just to make an odd comment. Actually drives me crazy!

That said, it is good that we don't bite every noob just because they ask the same question that can be found in the library or on the first page of threads.

Nothing wrong with a question, but soemtimes figuring out the answer is a journey initself.

I wish I could go back and read just how many dumb things I said when I arrived, I know there were a fair few, and no doubt I will continue to do that a time or two more

I must have had a certian like-ability about me from the get go because early on I created one of those "I was bad and now my Domly one wants me to tell the world what a bad little slut I've been so he'll forgive me" type threads and not one snarky comment! I've never since seen that happen!

 

[KoPilot]

I can understand why KoPilot may have made their comment.

I was slightly taken aback by the OP saying that 'From what I have read on here....appalled by it.'

Really? I just did a quick flick through the last couple of pages and cannot find any appalled comments.

Yeah, that's more of what I meant. Unless the OP was digging through other areas of the site and hadn't browsed the BDSM section at all before posting, I can see why they'd get that impression. But just a casual perusal of thread titles 'round these parts would give you a pretty good idea of what folks like, I'd say.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

I must have had a certian like-ability about me from the get go because early on I created one of those "I was bad and now my Domly one wants me to tell the world what a bad little slut I've been so he'll forgive me" type threads and not one snarky comment! I've never since seen that happen!

Who could snark that ass?

Yeah, that's more of what I meant. Unless the OP was digging through other areas of the site and hadn't browsed the BDSM section at all before posting, I can see why they'd get that impression. But just a casual perusal of thread titles 'round these parts would give you a pretty good idea of what folks like, I'd say.

Well, since the original post was her first, the day after she joined Lit, she might have made the mistake of first traipsing into the GB (and if so, she was even braver to keep looking after wandering into THAT snakepit!), then seen BDSM Talk and deciding this might be more what she was looking for. As most of us know, a *lot* of GBers must be closet Religious Right, because they think everything we do - even breathing - is Wrong with a capital "You're going to hell!"

Regardless, I didn't mean to imply that anyone had *attacked* her, merely that I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt on newness and naiveté, and perhaps less experience traveling the filthier paths of the interwebs than some of us. Not me, of course - I'm completely innocent myself.

 

[shy slave]

I must have had a certian like-ability about me from the get go because early on I created one of those "I was bad and now my Domly one wants me to tell the world what a bad little slut I've been so he'll forgive me" type threads and not one snarky comment! I've never since seen that happen!

You have 5* like-ability factor

We all love you, you reeled everyone of us in from the get-go and we are all still there

Yeah, that's more of what I meant. Unless the OP was digging through other areas of the site and hadn't browsed the BDSM section at all before posting, I can see why they'd get that impression. But just a casual perusal of thread titles 'round these parts would give you a pretty good idea of what folks like, I'd say.

Glad I read that right.

Who could snark that ass?

Well, since the original post was her first, the day after she joined Lit, she might have made the mistake of first traipsing into the GB (and if so, she was even braver to keep looking after wandering into THAT snakepit!), then seen BDSM Talk and deciding this might be more what she was looking for. As most of us know, a *lot* of GBers must be closet Religious Right, because they think everything we do - even breathing - is Wrong with a capital "You're going to hell!"

Regardless, I didn't mean to imply that anyone had *attacked* her, merely that I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt on newness and naiveté, and perhaps less experience traveling the filthier paths of the interwebs than some of us. Not me, of course - I'm completely innocent myself.

A first post doesn't mean a first time visit to Lit though, lots of people find the place, read through various forums, stories, whatever and then post.
Ithink if she had wandered into the GB and posted this question we would have found bits of her left in the corridor outside.
We can be difficult with Noobs sometimes but the GB eats everyone....and they think we are perverts

 

[Primalex]

I would like to know if I'm the only girl who actually enjoys being physically slapped during or leading up to sex.

And if you are the only woman, then what?

 

[badbkwrm]

It doesnt sound odd to me. I enjoy being bitten, having my hair pulled, being spanked, and being called a slut/whore. If thats odd, I don't think I want to be normal!

 

[DVS]

I can understand why KoPilot may have made their comment.

I was slightly taken aback by the OP saying that 'From what I have read on here....appalled by it.'

Really? I just did a quick flick through the last couple of pages and cannot find any appalled comments.

I agree its a tame list. I also agree with Sir W's post.

It can be difficult to find your way out of the porn flicks and into various discussion boards, but its not impossible or we would never be here or Fet Life, a place I rarely go as I hate the layout and subscribing to every damn thread just to make an odd comment. Actually drives me crazy!

That said, it is good that we don't bite every noob just because they ask the same question that can be found in the library or on the first page of threads.

Nothing wrong with a question, but soemtimes figuring out the answer is a journey initself.

I wish I could go back and read just how many dumb things I said when I arrived, I know there were a fair few, and no doubt I will continue to do that a time or two more

I agree with this, to a point. I also thought the list was relatively tame. But, I also understand the remoteness of some areas of this country. The Internet is the only method for finding some things, and people aren't born with computer savvy skills.

While my situation was long before the Internet was even a glint in Al Gore's eyes, I also grew up in a very small town and I know how limited the information can be filtered through such places. You literally know EVERYBODY and what's worse is EVERYBODY knows you. What some townies do find out about the real world doesn't often get told to others in the town, because they don't want to risk being outcast as a freak or pervert. So, everybody is pretty much on their own. Word of mouth communication of such things is rare.

I would have LOVED to have a place like Lit or even fetlife (which I HATE their format, by the way) to help me in my search when I was wondering if I was the "only one". It does happen. To this day, I blame my hair loss on the stresses I encountered as a naive little kid from small town burg.


The bold red part? I've noticed that about you. But, your crazy is a good crazy.