Is It Difficult For You to Let Go?

[juicylips]

Still hoping that this guy/girl is the one, but knowing deep down, no, they aren't?

Kids growing up and you don't want to turn them loose?


Are you still dealing with death, divorce or disappointment?

If you have let go, how did you do it?


Tell me about it.
JL

 

[Cibo]

I still haven't let go about my Grandfather's death...and probably never will.

 

[juicylips]

I still haven't let go about my Grandfather's death...and probably never will.

I am the same way with my grandmother's death. It will be 13yrs. on the 29th and still very raw and painful.


JL

 

[SXCRgirl]

Is it hard to let go? Yes. Plain and simple.

I know that fear is in the heart of not being able to let go. I know that deep down inside, I still think that the relationship that I walked away from was a mistake. I still think HE is the one and that there is hope (okay, I admit it) in my heart that he'll come back.

The struggle lies in the fact that I know he wasn't the one. I read somewhere that true love isn't supposed to be hard work and that if he was the one, it wouldn't have been that difficult.

Yet, I felt like he was. Wasn't that enough?

Apparently not.

Okay, so I didn't answer the question. Just don't spank me for being all over the place.

 

[juicylips]

Is it hard to let go? Yes. Plain and simple.

I know that fear is in the heart of not being able to let go. I know that deep down inside, I still think that the relationship that I walked away from was a mistake. I still think HE is the one and that there is hope (okay, I admit it) in my heart that he'll come back.

The struggle lies in the fact that I know he wasn't the one. I read somewhere that true love isn't supposed to be hard work and that if he was the one, it wouldn't have been that difficult.

Yet, I felt like he was. Wasn't that enough?

Apparently not.

Okay, so I didn't answer the question. Just don't spank me for being all over the place.

You answered just fine. It was what was inside you. We are all looking for the "ONE", lol. Hoping the person we just left wasn't the biggest mistake we will ever make. You sound perfectly normal.

Can I still spank you, though?
JL

 

[dreamer]

Hmmm...letting go huh? Well, yep! that's me!

I don't know about this one. I move on with my life but the feelings remain. I've just never been able to understand people that can 'change' loving someone like flipping a switch. I've never felt anger, or disgust towards a woman I love. I've never really felt too differently about any of them either. Of course there have been relatively few due to this, three in fact.

So I guess I'm guilty as charged. I'll love them till I die, and miss them too. Two I know it's for the best, one well...I wish I knew anything. But either way my feelings haven't changed and I for one am kinda glad they don't.

oh...and btw is there a spanking line forming???

 

[amiss]

I think how you let go depends on the situation requiring you to let go.

When my grandmother died, it seemed surreal. Because my mother and grandfather didn't get along, I only had the chance to really know my grandmother for four-five years. But I still missed her terribly. Her funeral was my first; even at the cemetary, knowing we were going back to her house, I felt like she'd be there waiting for us. It was afterwards, when I realized all the lives she'd touched, and how fulfilled her life was, that I began to come to terms with her death. Knowing she left me things in her will that would make my life better, and that even when she was dying, she was looking out for me, made me realize that wherever she is now, she's probably still looking out for me. That she's not really gone. That "letting go" means accepting the fact that's she's physically gone, but still present in spirit.


As for past relationships... Well, obviously, it doesn't work the same way. Some, I don't think, I've let go even at this late date. Some, I never will. They are too precious to me. Not necessarily the people themselves, but what I learned (about myself and the world) while I was with them, I don't want to soon forget. And though I sometimes feel a stab of jealousy, or remorse, I work past it. Wish them well. Remember the good times as good times, but remember the bad times as reasons to let that person go.


And as a child who has recently "left the nest"... I'm definitely not ready to let go! I don't think I have, really. Anytime I watch a TV show or movie that involves anything remotely sappy involving family, I start crying. Thank God for technology, because I don't think I could function on the occassional letter, if that's what it was down to!

 

[Summery]

I believe I already met "the one" for me. At least the person that was "almost" everything I was looking for. We were very compatible on so many levels. But, in the end, it wasn't meant to be. It was very hard for me to let go. But, I grieved for so long that eventually I decided it was time to let go. I had an enormous amount of support from my friends that help me see it through and letting go. I finally got closure and that made it easier in the end. Not to say it didn't hurt.

Well, my son is far too young yet for me to worry about letting go. I can only assume it will be hard. I am bummed sometimes as it is that he is already 4 and not my little baby I used to carry and rock to sleep in my arms. Even at 4 he is little Mr. Independent.

I don't know when it comes to death I ever really let go. I would say it is for me more like moving on. I have lost all my grandparents but one, and some close friends from high school. They are always remembered and a part of them are with me always.

All and all I think support systems of friends and family or mentors help us deal. At least for me.
I don't know if that really answered your original question. But, too bad. I'm your best friend, deal with it.

 

[SXCRgirl]

Can I still spank you, though?
JL

Sure, only if you kiss it and make it better after! LOL...

 

[SXCRgirl]

oh...and btw is there a spanking line forming???

Oh and why is that dreamer? You wanna be next?

 

[juicylips]

All and all I think support systems of friends and family or mentors help us deal. At least for me.
I don't know if that really answered your original question. But, too bad. I'm your best friend, deal with it.

Friends are invaluable in times like those.

I thank God for you everyday, Summery

JL

 

[Guest]

juicylips,

Letting go is a very difficult thing for me. During my lifetime, I've done a few things that I'm not very proud of. Those things are a constant source of pain for me now because I can't let go of them.

When you think that maybe you've just gotten things right and settled, you find that it's more like a mirage you witness when crossing the desert.

There is something I started writing tonight and I equated Life with Illusion. For me, that's how it is right now.

As for my son, I am having so much trouble letting him go. He is a major part of my life - he is the one I am able to count on right now, although I try not to let him know that because that's a huge responsibility. He's 13 years old and he needs his space now. I'm not always a part of that space either, I think that hurts just a little bit...I do love him so very much.

 

[Summery]

Friends are invaluable in times like those.

I thank God for you everyday, Summery

JL

Well, you know how I feel. I refuse to get all mushy on the GB.
These days, I seem to best express myself secretly behind the scenes. *don't you just love subliminal messages?*

Summery (I just love to do that to irritate people)

 

[juicylips]

juicylips,

Letting go is a very difficult thing for me. During my lifetime, I've done a few things that I'm not very proud of. Those things are a constant source of pain for me now because I can't let go of them.

When you think that maybe you've just gotten things right and settled, you find that it's more like a mirage you witness when crossing the desert.

There is something I started writing tonight and I equated Life with Illusion. For me, that's how it is right now.

Good Morning, Enchanted.

You are up early, my friend.

If something is causing you pain, you need to free yourself. I am glad to hear you are writing something that will help you start healing. You sound positive. That is the first step.

Take care,
JL

 

[juicylips]

oh...and btw is there a spanking line forming???

There is always a spanking line available in all my threads.

JL

 

[MechaBlade]

Sometimes. Some breakups and deaths have had relatively little impact. A couple deaths were bad for me, but I guess time heals those wounds. I wrote a song about one and a poem about the other, I'm not sure if that did anything. Probably helped.

But some disappointments mentally injure me to remember. I guess I know why: the breakups and deaths weren't my fault.

I am filled with such guilt. I just try to forget the past.

 

[juicylips]

But some disappointments mentally injure me to remember. I guess I know why: the breakups and deaths weren't my fault.

I am filled with such guilt. I just try to forget the past.

The day immediately following my grandmothers death, I have almost no recollection. I don't remember the funeral, except being lead away from the gravesite. It is like two days I lost somewhere. All I can remember is the crying. I felt so guilty for not being there when she died. I lived out of state at the time and arrived hours after she had passed on.

I know what you are saying.
JL

 

[MechaBlade]

The day immediately following my grandmothers death, I have almost no recollection. I don't remember the funeral, except being lead away from the gravesite. It is like two days I lost somewhere. All I can remember is the crying. I felt so guilty for not being there when she died. I lived out of state at the time and arrived hours after she had passed on.

I know what you are saying.
JL

You were out of state. It's not your fault.

My father was buying tickets to see his father in the hospital when my grandfather died.

Death waits for no one. The bastard.

 

[sch00lteacher]

I never let go completely. I always (selfishly) hold something back.

But when the time comes I do find it easy to let go. Cut my ties, say good bye. And that is that. That is true of all of my good byes except for my brother's. His good bye should have been 17 years ago. But I haven't given it to him yet.

I have seen a few people die, some in my arms. It always hurts, even if it is a stranger. Death is a weird thing, never the same. You can always tell the very instant life leaves. There isn't any doubt. You just know that it is over, don't bother trying heroic shit like CPR and the like. I have seen people die instantly. Bullet through the head. That has to be the way to go. But not with your finger on the trigger. No time for pain, or even the knowledge that you are dead.

Saying good bye to partners is easy. I don't leave unless I can prove you have cheated on me. Then it is over and done with at the instant I know for sure. No regrets, get the fuck out of my life. That hasn't happened with a married partner so I don't know how I would deal with that. Here is to hoping I never do.

 

[MechaBlade]

Horrible. I have never seen anyone die. And really, I've known few people that have.

 

[StrawberryPez]

I still haven't let go about my Grandfather's death...and probably never will.

aww Cibo....*huggles*

 

[juicylips]

I never let go completely. I always (selfishly) hold something back.

But when the time comes I do find it easy to let go. Cut my ties, say good bye. And that is that. That is true of all of my good byes except for my brother's. His good bye should have been 17 years ago. But I haven't given it to him yet.

I have seen a few people die, some in my arms. It always hurts, even if it is a stranger. Death is a weird thing, never the same. You can always tell the very instant life leaves. There isn't any doubt. You just know that it is over, don't bother trying heroic shit like CPR and the like. I have seen people die instantly. Bullet through the head. That has to be the way to go. But not with your finger on the trigger. No time for pain, or even the knowledge that you are dead.

This puts things into perspective for me.

My experiences with death have been extremely limited. Maybe that is why I take things harder than I should.

JL

 

[cutie pie]

My experiences with death have been extremely limited. Maybe that is why I take things harder than I should.

JL

JL, I don't know that experience makes it any easier. My father died when I was 18. It wasn't unexpected, but I was still totally devastated. I still think about him a great deal. My mother died when I was 27. It was unexpected. I felt as though my heart had been ripped from my chest. The next year is pretty much a blur. . .I functioned, but barely. I'm still not sure that I've let go of her, and I'm not sure that I want to.

Letting go of a relationship can be just as painful as dealing with death. I am at a point in my life where it seems that the best course of action for me, and everyone else involved, would be to end it. I hate being the "bad guy". I hate the thought of letting go of what used to be a beautiful thing.


p.s. - can we have less somber threads tomorrow, JL?

 

[juicylips]

p.s. - can we have less somber threads tomorrow, JL?

Yes, I will return to my regularly scheduled fun and fuck threads tomorrow.

JL

 

[Rambrat]

I believe I already met "the one" for me. At least the person that was "almost" everything I was looking for. We were very compatible on so many levels. But, in the end, it wasn't meant to be. It was very hard for me to let go. But, I grieved for so long that eventually I decided it was time to let go. I had an enormous amount of support from my friends that help me see it through and letting go. I finally got closure and that made it easier in the end. Not to say it didn't hurt.

*sits down beside you...places arm around you...*

"There, there little soldier...it will be okay...if they can't see how beautif...
oh...gotta go...."