Is is possible to quit bdsm?

[Betticus]

Does anyone else ever feel like this?

I hit on an epiphany the other day. I'm not happy. That I knew but upon review it struck me that until a few years ago I would pick the toughest things upon my path through life that I could. With exercise, career choice, women, etc..

I pushed myself beyond what I thought I was capable of and in those struggles I found a sense of worth and happiness. I impressed myself and recently that hasn't been the case. Life has been way too easy, even the harder parts.

I could find something to do, train for a run or do a hard project but it's as if the zest for life is just not there to back it up.

I guess the question is how do I find that again?

Blah..

 

[Recidiva]

It's possible.

You have to get really thinky about what you want. And wise about how to go about doing it.

Sometimes the hardest question I've ever asked myself is "What do I want?" because I usually do not know. I know what I have to do to keep things the same.

But recognizing real needs and real truths takes a lot of work. And sometimes there's just seasons we pass through. Winter comes and taking a long nap can seem best. Pay attention to your patterns and your seasons and the thoughts that occur to you most often.

Whether or not it's quitting or altering or whatever you choose, I hope you can find the strength and the insipiration you need to keep your feet on the path that makes you happiest.

 

[Betticus]

I just realized that this time of year is the same time of year that my love tore my heart out. Wonder how I forgot? I always get odd around now. Four years now, it's a long time to be alone. No wonder I'm all depressed.

 

[Recidiva]

I just realized that this time of year is the same time of year that my love tore my heart out. Wonder how I forgot? I always get odd around now. Four years now, it's a long time to be alone. No wonder I'm all depressed.

It's at least good to know a seasonal occurence. Maybe mark your calendar for next year?

Celebrate a particular holiday. Day of the Torn.

You could have decorations.

Clearly I deal with my issues with humor. I'm not making light of yours. Well, I am, but it's what I do with everything.

 

[Betticus]

It's at least good to know a seasonal occurence. Maybe mark your calendar for next year?

Celebrate a particular holiday. Day of the Torn.

You could have decorations.

Clearly I deal with my issues with humor. I'm not making light of yours. Well, I am, but it's what I do with everything.

Well, maybe today while I'm at the bdsm booth at the gay pride event in El Paso I can work out some frustration on someone. My bent is for psych dom stuff tho and that can get pretty . . . evil.

 

[Recidiva]

Well, maybe today while I'm at the bdsm booth at the gay pride event in El Paso I can work out some frustration on someone. My bent is for psych dom stuff tho and that can get pretty . . . evil.

Sounds like you'd get a high chance at volunteers.

Have fun and be happy

 

[Betticus]

Oh c'mon, life is just misery with enough bubbles of happiness to trick you into not giving completely up.

 

[Recidiva]

Oh c'mon, life is just misery with enough bubbles of happiness to trick you into not giving completely up.

I'm the alivest suicidal person I know.

Accounting for my dark sense of humor.

 

[Betticus]

I'm the alivest suicidal person I know.

Accounting for my dark sense of humor.

My my,,, that could be said of me as well.

 

[Recidiva]

My my,,, that could be said of me as well.

We could start a club.

But we probably wouldn't pay dues or show up for meetings. Game called on account of rain.

 

[Betticus]

We could start a club.

But we probably wouldn't pay dues or show up for meetings. Game called on account of rain.

I'd steal all of the pens..

 

[Recidiva]

I'd steal all of the pens..

It's really best that we be supportive at a distance.

I'd resent having to make snacks.

We can just...wave across the internet.

 

[Betticus]

It's okay with distance. Right now I would only abuse someones poor ass with a very sadistic flogging.

 

[Recidiva]

It's okay with distance. Right now I would only abuse someones poor ass with a very sadistic flogging.

That sounds reasonable and healthy.

 

[Betticus]

I'm gonna go play in my garage.

 

[Recidiva]

I'm gonna go play in my garage.

We'll meet back here next year.

 

[Marquis]

It's possible.

You have to get really thinky about what you want. And wise about how to go about doing it.

Sometimes the hardest question I've ever asked myself is "What do I want?" because I usually do not know. I know what I have to do to keep things the same.

I agree with this wholeheartedly.

The hardest part of getting what you want in my mind is usually figuring out what that is. Once you know for sure what it is, doing what you have to do to get it is usually a labor of love.

 

[Recidiva]

I agree with this wholeheartedly.

The hardest part of getting what you want in my mind is usually figuring out what that is. Once you know for sure what it is, doing what you have to do to get it is usually a labor of love.

Yay!

It's also possible to quit...start...quit...start...quit...start.

 

[desertslave]

I was introduced to BDSM/'the lifestyle' when I was 18. Had some wonderful relationships, wild times, all the good stuff for nearly 7 years. Then my first Sir, to whom I was still deeply attached, died unexpectedly. I spent the next 6 months vaguely attempting to get someone to kill me off (aka really stupid, reckless shit). Then I sort of came to my senses. I say sort of because my brilliant solution was to quit it all and revert to vanilla.

Talk about stupid.

I married a nice guy (well, not so much as it turned out) and rather successfully lied to myself and everyone around me for the next 12 years. (pretty good, huh?) Then a cascade of events happened that landed me solidly back into wanting....oh hell, NEEDING to submit to someone again. That someone was sooooo not my husband. (long nasty story)

I started reading online...something that didn't exist when this all started in 1978. I learned and re-learned, I found a great support network, and ultimately I found the Master I really needed. We've been together 9 years now. I'm living the dreams that I'd barely skimmed all those years ago. It's amazing! He gave me a collar, and set me free. I'm more 'myself' now than I've ever been.

You might be able to quit BDSM, but I'm not sure BDSM ever quits you.

 

[Betticus]

I agree with this wholeheartedly.

The hardest part of getting what you want in my mind is usually figuring out what that is. Once you know for sure what it is, doing what you have to do to get it is usually a labor of love.

I really feel more of an affinity for the psych/mind part of bdsm more than anything else. Force for me is more of a key into her mind than anything else.

Okay, there is that part of me that just wants to force her, force sex on her, see her tears....

fuck it, I guess that this kind of kink is part of me and I'll never be able to deny it.

I think the labor of love will have to be directed at myself, more accurate to say that I want things that will be tough to attain and I need to face up to what I need to do to be who I want to be.

 

[Marquis]

I really feel more of an affinity for the psych/mind part of bdsm more than anything else. Force for me is more of a key into her mind than anything else.

Okay, there is that part of me that just wants to force her, force sex on her, see her tears....

fuck it, I guess that this kind of kink is part of me and I'll never be able to deny it.

I think the labor of love will have to be directed at myself, more accurate to say that I want things that will be tough to attain and I need to face up to what I need to do to be who I want to be.

Who do you want to be?

 

[Betticus]

Who do you want to be?

Just me, that's who I want to be. I understand fronting in order to not spook the co-workers, etc.. but when I'm just me I tend to throw people off. Scare em a little bit. Not that I'm a badass or anything like that, more because nothing really seems abnormal to me. Just odd shit that would offend the christians.

I suppose that the only thing that would really trip me would be to walk into a snuff scene or a pedo rape. That's more like dogs that need to be put down though.

I want to forget the world for a while and straighten my own shit up. I'm building up a lot of anger or pent up frustration and I need to let it go, see my own shortcomings as my own fault and then do something about it.

 

[Recidiva]

Just me, that's who I want to be. I understand fronting in order to not spook the co-workers, etc.. but when I'm just me I tend to throw people off. Scare em a little bit. Not that I'm a badass or anything like that, more because nothing really seems abnormal to me. Just odd shit that would offend the christians.

I suppose that the only thing that would really trip me would be to walk into a snuff scene or a pedo rape. That's more like dogs that need to be put down though.

I want to forget the world for a while and straighten my own shit up. I'm building up a lot of anger or pent up frustration and I need to let it go, see my own shortcomings as my own fault and then do something about it.

Forgiveness is hard.

Lots of practice in order to learn how to do it well and completely. And then it probably takes years to see the real benefits.

But it's worth doing and worth learning.

 

[Betticus]

Forgiveness is hard.

Lots of practice in order to learn how to do it well and completely. And then it probably takes years to see the real benefits.

But it's worth doing and worth learning.

Not going to forgive myself at all, just learn from it and move on. Damn past!

 

[Recidiva]

Not going to forgive myself at all, just learn from it and move on. Damn past!

Yeah, that's the "move on" part.

Can't do it without actually forgiving.

Sorry. Learning alone doesn't cut it.

You end up bouncing between grief and bargaining and never make it to acceptance.

But at least you have your sense of humor!