Is anyone an empath?

[Saint Peter]

I don't.

Tell that fucker to shut the pie hole.

 

[Tryharder62]

I am.

So to you is it a good thing or a bad thing?

 

[butters]

I sympathise with your son, but you ought to know better that suggest autistic people frequently lack empathy and then mention sociopath and psychopath in the same breath.

Autistic people can often be overly empathetic

i apologise for the lack of clarity and resulting ambiguity of that post and hope the following below better expresses my point. Please don't feel the need to sympathise with my son: he totally believes he's superior to any 'regular' person where some of his abilities are so enhanced. He thinks he's a part of the next evolutionary steps

Yes, people on the spectrum do have to deal with the the vagaries of different reactions to regular stimuli, be it enhanced or diminshed. yes, people on the spectrum can feel love for others. Using my son's own experiences, he sees and consciously processes a lot more than most (spots all manner of stuff in adverts or spotting patterns, for example, the non-auti brain doesn't spot on a conscious level); he hates bright sunlight even if it's not a hot day, saying it feels as if it burns his skin; his auditory processing is different, too, in unusual ways. He HAS been head over heels in love and broken up about splitting up with her.

A lack of empathy is, unfortunately, a historic sterotype but it is also not uncommon, sometimes due to the person's inability to process or express their actual reactions. Understanding of the issue over years has developed enough for us to realise it fluctuates enormously between individuals--that it isn't something to be either discounted nor applied universally but each person should be individually appraised with a better current understanding. I also believe the banding together of so many 'conditions' (Aspergers lumped in with autism) over a broad sliding scale has muddied the waters whilst, at the same time, has also prompted even more rigourous investigations into the nuances of each, separate, classification.

As for my son, his lack of empathy doesn't mean he cannot understand his own emotional weather and realise that others experience their own... and, in doing so, he is capable of understanding someone might be in emotional pain and expressing an intellectual sympathy even if he cannot, at the same time, actually 'feel' their pain. It doesn't make him a psycopath. His own intellectual development has allowed him to better understand his own condition AND, crucially, his ability to express his awareness (or lack therof) of certain social inputs.

psycopathy and sociopathy aren't autism or aspergers, but are extreme human states of being normal for the few.

 

[stickygirl]

Hi Butters
This isn't meant to sound snarky or patronising ( and I know that usually means people are about to be ) but I read your personal experience as being focused on your son and how he masters the world around him. I totally accept that a lot of ASD people struggle with emotions and with interactions, but the myth of that being a universal problem amongst autistic people persists. I know you'll agree that doesn't mean all and that's the only reason I took you up on your point.

This exchange has been on my mind this morning because these things do, for me. Here's a small extract from a much longer "unofficial checklist" from Samantha Craft's book Everyday Aspergers ( NB the title was coined before Asperger got ditched for being a Nazi collaborator )

~ Section G: Sensitive

Sensitive to sounds, textures, temperature, and/or smells when trying to sleep
Adjusts bedclothes, bedding, and/or environment in an attempt to find comfort
Dreams are anxiety-ridden, vivid, complex, and/or precognitive in nature
Highly intuitive to others’ feelings
Highly empathetic, sometimes to the point of confusion

Here's a link to the page and I'd recommend you check it out and maybe her book, not because I think you need it, but because it's brilliant. It's funny, it's informative and very sympathetic writing.

When I first read it I started laughing at first, but by the end I was crying. How did she know me this well?

Next best thing is, it's written with women in mind

 

[RobDownSouth]

This thread has drifted off to an interesting tangent.

 

[pointless]

i'm having a flashback to an old perg thread where people got dangerously close to conflating autism with antisocial personality disorder because of the whole empathy thing. that was... fun?

 

[butters]

Hi Butters
This isn't meant to sound snarky or patronising ( and I know that usually means people are about to be ) but I read your personal experience as being focused on your son and how he masters the world around him. I totally accept that a lot of ASD people struggle with emotions and with interactions, but the myth of that being a universal problem amongst autistic people persists. I know you'll agree that doesn't mean all and that's the only reason I took you up on your point.

This exchange has been on my mind this morning because these things do, for me. Here's a small extract from a much longer "unofficial checklist" from Samantha Craft's book Everyday Aspergers ( NB the title was coined before Asperger got ditched for being a Nazi collaborator )

~ Section G: Sensitive

Sensitive to sounds, textures, temperature, and/or smells when trying to sleep
Adjusts bedclothes, bedding, and/or environment in an attempt to find comfort
Dreams are anxiety-ridden, vivid, complex, and/or precognitive in nature
Highly intuitive to others’ feelings
Highly empathetic, sometimes to the point of confusion

Here's a link to the page and I'd recommend you check it out and maybe her book, not because I think you need it, but because it's brilliant. It's funny, it's informative and very sympathetic writing.

When I first read it I started laughing at first, but by the end I was crying. How did she know me this well?

Next best thing is, it's written with women in mind

thanks, i'll check it out

 

[HisArpy]

Empath?

No.


I thought about seeing if I was. Then I discovered I didn't care enough either way.

 

[stickygirl]

This thread has drifted off to an interesting tangent.

Such is the nature of discussion, but you're welcome to nudge it back

i'm having a flashback to an old perg thread where people got dangerously close to conflating autism with antisocial personality disorder because of the whole empathy thing. that was... fun?

There are as many versions of autism as there are neuro-typical people so some will have natural empathy for the feelings of other people, some not.

Some will be so affected they are non-verbal, because their brains are permanently overwhelmed by the input their senses feed into the brain because they have no filter for that information. Imagine listening to AC/DC at 11 and then being asked to paint a watercolour in a room with a rotting badger - just an illustration off the top of my head!

Generally autistic people are smart enough to learn social skills the same way other people learn a foreign language. You can achieve a lot with studying but you might never speak French with a perfect accent.

So yea, some people pick up on other people's moods in an instant, so do dogs or horses I've heard.