Irish Jokes

[zantac666]

Ok lets here your jokes there must be some of you that knows some.

What do you get when you cross and irishman with a dog.

Patti O'Drool

What do you get when a leprechaun eats chilie.

A pot of gold under the rainbow.

What kind of money do irishmen put in vending machines.

lepercoin.

 

[phrodeau]

I have to credit John Cleese for this one:

Why do the Arabs have all the oil and the Irish have all the potatoes?

Because the Irish had first pick.

 

[Lost Cause]

*Ever hear of the gay Irishmen, Patrick Fitzmichael & Michael Fitzpatrick?

*How about the patron saint of lounge chairs? Patty O' Furniture!

 

[Scruffy]

Stars and bars. Nice. I bet racial jokes run in your family.

 

[Weevil]

Give it up Scruff. Jeez, I'm Irish and from a long line of drunks so I don't care.

Here are my two faves.

What's an Irish 7 course meal?

A six of guiness and a potato

What's the difference between an Irish wake and an Irish funeral?

One drunk.

 

[Scruffy]

Hey Weevs, he can crack jokes about you dumb micks as much as he wants.

I'm just saying I'm not surprised a guy who chooses that flag as his AV is eager to join in on the fun.

 

[pabloback]

Stars and bars. Nice. I bet racial jokes run in your family.

noses run in my family

 

[Samuari]

from O'Tools Pub

One man looks at another and says, "Stranger, ya look a weee bit like me old dad, wha'cher drinkin'?"

"Red Stripe. You look ah lot like me dad, you'self I'm from Dublin, you?"

"Why I'm from Dublin, too. St. Mary's class of '69."

"I was in that Class. Did you know Sally O'Dougle?"

"Know her? ohhh yea I knew her!" He says with a wink.


One of the other folks in the pub asks the Bar Keep. "What's going on?"

"Oh nuttin' just the Callahan twins drunk again."

 

[Draco]

Quoted by Scruffy "I bet racial jokes run in your family."
"Hey Weevs, he can crack jokes about you dumb micks as much as he wants. "

 

[Draco]

Quoted by Scruffy "I bet racial jokes run in your family."
"Hey Weevs, he can crack jokes about you dumb micks as much as he wants. "

Kiwi of Irish descent...and darn proud of it...Happy St Patricks Day everyone. I got my green boxers on....ask nicely I might even show ya.....

 

[zantac666]

Scruff i have irish scottish desendents and also some from the south and i live in the north but i don't look at stara and bars as a racial flag.

Just because some assholes use it as there flag, like nazi or skinheads des not make all people racist the south used several flags during the war. not just one so does that make them racit to.

Anyway this is a thread fo fun.....

SO BUG OFF

 

[Scruffy]

Scruff i have irish scottish desendents and also some from the south and i live in the north but i don't look at stara and bars as a racial flag.

Just because some assholes use it as there flag, like nazi or skinheads des not make all people racist the south used several flags during the war. not just one so does that make them racit to.

Anyway this is a thread fo fun.....

SO BUG OFF

Gosh, how do I counter such an intelligent, well thought out post with no spelling msitakes.

First off the stars and bars, which were the flag of the CSA is the symbol of a nation founded on slavery. So you're wrong.

So does that mean I should be able to fly a swastika? Hey just some Nazi's used it doesn't make it "racit" right?

Dumbass.

 

[zantac666]

The only problem is the south did not like to be told not to d this but te north could.

Now is that fair.

Hey my spelling my not be great but i get my point across.

 

[zantac666]

The only problem is the south did not like to be told not to d this but te north could.

Now is that fair.

Hey my spelling my not be great but i get my point across.

Anyways if we keep living in the past we will always be fighting the each other.

 

[T.H. Oughts]

I got my green boxers on....ask nicely I might even show ya.....

Ok, I've read all the jokes and ignored the crap... Draco darlin I'm waiting for the side show now

 

[Scruffy]

The only problem is the south did not like to be told not to d this but te north could.

Hey my spelling my not be great but i get my point across.

Do you? I have no idea what that first sentence means.

But you're right. We should stop living in the past. So as soon as you burn all the confederate flags that are flying then we can move on.

 

[apple3141]

Always Rember....

Cleanliness is next to Godliness.

-- but only in an Irish Dictionary

An Irish Martini:
A cold, boiled potato, with eyes, in a pint of Guinness

 

[p_p_man]

*Ever hear of the gay Irishmen, Patrick Fitzmichael & Michael Fitzpatrick?

*How about the patron saint of lounge chairs? Patty O' Furniture!

I don't get any of these!

 

[Texan]

Yes, I'm of Irish decent...

The Doctor was puzzled "I'm very sorry but I can't diagnose your trouble, Mahoney. I think it must be drink. "
"Don't worry about it Dr. Kelley, I'll come back when you're sober."

"Hey Patrick, do I hear you spitting in the vase on the mantelpiece ?" "No, Nora, but I'm getting closer all the time !"

Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink. Quinn thinks he's very lucky because his own wife makes him walk !!

"Did you hear that Flanagan invented an invisible deodorant ?" "No, what good is it ?"
"Well if you use, you vanish and no one knows where the smell is coming from !"

His wife had been killed in an accident and the police were questioning Finnegan.
"Did she say anything before she died?" asked the sergeant.
"She spoke without interruption for about forty years," said the Irishman.