Iranians Seize Squirrels

[R. Richard]

This purports to be an actual news story. OK, R. Richard goes into action to get you the story behind the story. R. Richard interviews one 'Bushy Tail,' squirrel spokessquirrel.
RR: Is it true that you had spy devices?
BT: Spy devices, my ass! They seized our hoard of nuts, stored against the winter.
RR: Maybe the Iranians thought your nuts were spy devices.
BT: Yeah, and maybe the Iranians are nuts! We want a damn lawyer to get back hoard of nuts, stored against the winter. We have rights!
RR: You are squirrels, you have no legal rights.
BT: What!? They can just come in and take our hoard of nuts, stored against the winter? OK, If we don't have legal rights, once we get back to our trees will shit on passers by. Lousy, no good nut thieves!
RR: That won't solve anything, except the recent decline in dry cleaning business in Iran. You need to petition the iternational community.
BT: What use? You two leggers are all a bunch of nut stealing no goods!
RR: There you have it, from the front lines!


Iranians arrest 14 squirrels for spying

Islamic Republic's intelligence agents allege rodents were carrying advanced Western spy gear

Iranian intelligence operatives recently detained over a dozen squirrels found within the nation's borders, claiming the rodents were serving as spies for Western powers determined to undermine the Islamic Republic.

"In recent weeks, intelligence operatives have arrested 14 squirrels within Iran's borders," state-sponsored news agency IRNA reported. "The squirrels were carrying spy gear of foreign agencies, and were stopped before they could act, thanks to the alertness of our intelligence services."

Iranian police commander Esmaeil Ahmadi-Moqadam confirmed the report, saying that a number of squirrels had been caught bearing foreign spy gear within Iran's borders.

"I heard of this but I have no specific knowledge on the subject," he said. He refused to give further details.

Recently, Iran has increased its efforts in combating espionage by the West. The use of rodents has not been documented in the past.

 

[cloudy]

Charley will be crushed.

 

[cumallday]

Here's who I believe must be the masterminds.

 

[FallingToFly]

I wondered where Liar was...

 

[R. Richard]

Charley will be crushed.

At least she won't have to suffer the squirrel's revenge, unless she goes to Iran.

 

[TxRad]

I wondered where Liar was...

Well, he is on "Vacation" and he never did say where he was going.......

 

[R. Richard]

Well, he is on "Vacation" and he never did say where he was going.......

The key question here is, did he rent a squirrel costume befroe he left?

 

[bluebell]

The key question here is, did he rent a squirrel costume befroe he left?

Wait, are you telling me that Liar isn't a real squirrel?!
*sobs*

 

[Lisa Denton]

Our Ingenuis plan worked as the decoy squirrells was nabbed, our real spys got away with all the top secret stuffs and .......................... uncovered irrefutible proof that the Iranians have WMD's ---Weapons of Mouse Destruction.


http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b11/LisaDenton/Untitledd-8.jpg

 

[Eluard]

Our Ingenuis plan worked as the decoy squirrells was nabbed, our real spys got away with all the top secret stuffs and .......................... uncovered irrefutible proof that the Iranians have WMD's ---Weapons of Mouse Destruction.


http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b11/LisaDenton/Untitledd-8.jpg

Lisa, either you are a genius with Photoshop, or…nah, there's no other possibility, you're a genius with Photoshop!

 

[Boxlicker101]

I remember years ago, watching cartoons about Secret Squirrel, the spy in the trench coat. I had no idea the stories were true, or even based on truth.

 

[R. Richard]

Wait, are you telling me that Liar isn't a real squirrel?!
*sobs*

That is NOT the question. The question is did Liar 1) go to Iran as a spy? [good] 2) go to Iran to rescue the squirrels? [good] 3) go to Iran to steal the squirrels winter store of nuts [reprehensible].

 

[R. Richard]

Our Ingenuis plan worked as the decoy squirrells was nabbed, our real spys got away with all the top secret stuffs and .......................... uncovered irrefutible proof that the Iranians have WMD's ---Weapons of Mouse Destruction.


http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b11/LisaDenton/Untitledd-8.jpg

Lisa, you missed the point here. That is NOT a mouse. It is a squirrel in deep disguise. The squirrel is not after top secret stuff, it is after its winter stash of nuts. HOWEVER, it is willing to trade top secret stuff IFF it can get back its winter stash of nuts.

 

[bluebell]

That is NOT the question. The question is did Liar 1) go to Iran as a spy? [good] 2) go to Iran to rescue the squirrels? [good] 3) go to Iran to steal the squirrels winter store of nuts [reprehensible].

1) If he did, I hope he brought his best contingent of forest creatures from Sleeping Beauty. He'll need the help.
2) What if he's also working in conjuction with PETA?
3) You know, I did ask on his sayonara thread whether "vacation" was squirrel code for "nut-hunt" and he never answered me.

 

[R. Richard]

1) If he did, I hope he brought his best contingent of forest creatures from Sleeping Beauty. He'll need the help.
2) What if he's also working in conjuction with PETA?
3) You know, I did ask on his sayonara thread whether "vacation" was squirrel code for "nut-hunt" and he never answered me.

The bad news is that one of the captured squirrels was reportedly wearing a leather flying helmet. The good news is that Agent Bullwinkle continues to evade capture!

 

[cumallday]

I remember years ago, watching cartoons about Secret Squirrel, the spy in the trench coat. I had no idea the stories were true, or even based on truth.

Yes, maybe Liar is a codename and only Morocco Mole knows the truth.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Boxlicker101
I remember years ago, watching cartoons about Secret Squirrel, the spy in the trench coat. I had no idea the stories were true, or even based on truth.

Yes, maybe Liar is a codename and only Morocco Mole knows the truth.

Oh, no. Atom Ant was the patner of Secret Squirel, and he would know too.

 

[R. Richard]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Boxlicker101
Oh, no. Atom Ant was the patner of Secret Squirel, and he would know too.

I looked Atom Ant up in Wiki:
"Atom operated out of an anthill in the countryside, where he possessed such things as a mainframe computer and exercise equipment. His powers mostly consisted of the ability to fly, superspeed, and amazing strength."

"He was often contacted by the police, who sent him out on assignment. Some of these missions parodied those of Batman. In one episode, the police force was shown to be underfunded and inept, as they relied on Atom Ant to do all their police work. The only two police officers were the chief and deputy chief. The department only possessed one rusted patrol car."

Somehow, I am very attracted to the ideas behind Atom Ant.