Inspired: orgasm denial?

[IsabellaKing]

I've almost reached the point where my own orgasm is near uninteresting.

No! Sorry, you sound just too good to be true now

 

[YourCaptor]

This one is inspired by sexycazz's thread:

Is orgasm control/denial more of a het-male top thing?

I for one am not particularly interested in it, either as a Top or a bottom.

What about you guys? Do you see a trend, or am I being essentialist here? Let's have a poll on it -- just to entertain my curiosity.


ETA: ok, forgive my stupid question. I just remember about all the cock-cage and stuff. Which is vastly popular among both gay tops and female het tops.

I shouldn't post when I'm in an altered-state.

What about bi peoples? (have yet to vote)

and no, I don't find it intriguing, in fact the opposite is much more fun, telling them that they will have an orgasm at a particular moment.

 

[twysted73]

No! Sorry, you sound just too good to be true now

Hmm?

 

[IsabellaKing]

Hmm?

Um...I think I may have misunderstood what you were saying

 

[Caitlynne]

I'm into sexual frustration. If I'm with someone low-libido or someone who becomes low libido after a certain duration of denial, I have to find other means of frustration - and I generally cut back on the duration of denial.

This is an important facet of orgasm denial. Although I think it is easier for women than men to deal with denial. Our bodies just work differently.

Anyway, for me, if I'm kept too long in denial, I go completely out of a sexual mode. I just lose interest. I am quite honestly the last person you want to have a contest with to see "how long a person can go without an orgasm'. I'll win.

I can't even be kept in that frustrated place easily. I'll give up, sublimate it some place and deal with the denial. But then that's just me, I'm sure some people love orgasm denial. I'm sort of "meh" about it. I can work in a short term session, not long term at all. After a while, I just won't give a damn one way or the other.

Now I do love, and I mean LOVE prolonging orgasm, or having it controlled. But that is short term and that does work nicely. The arousal is kept at a peak and the orgasm just out of reach. Oh when it does arrive, it is mind blowing and I'm a pan of jello waiting for a mold to shape me.

 

[madetotakeit]

This is an important facet of orgasm denial. Although I think it is easier for women than men to deal with denial. Our bodies just work differently.

Anyway, for me, if I'm kept too long in denial, I go completely out of a sexual mode. I just lose interest. I am quite honestly the last person you want to have a contest with to see "how long a person can go without an orgasm'. I'll win.

I can't even be kept in that frustrated place easily. I'll give up, sublimate it some place and deal with the denial. But then that's just me, I'm sure some people love orgasm denial. I'm sort of "meh" about it. I can work in a short term session, not long term at all. After a while, I just won't give a damn one way or the other.

Now I do love, and I mean LOVE prolonging orgasm, or having it controlled. But that is short term and that does work nicely. The arousal is kept at a peak and the orgasm just out of reach. Oh when it does arrive, it is mind blowing and I'm a pan of jello waiting for a mold to shape me.

I have to agree with you on this. It's the penetration I crave, not the orgasm so if I don't have one . I can only think of three orgasms that surpassed it, and only one that left me in the state you described. I've gone without sex for over two years before (I tend to be reactive and if nobody inspires me I'll just go without. I'm an all or nothing kind of gal.) At some point I just shut off the drive. Orgasms were more of tension relief or porn aided hormonally driven. For me prolonging an orgasm is more torturous than straight out orgasm denial, but it's a delicious torture.

 

[EmpressFi]

This is an important facet of orgasm denial. Although I think it is easier for women than men to deal with denial. Our bodies just work differently.

Anyway, for me, if I'm kept too long in denial, I go completely out of a sexual mode. I just lose interest. I am quite honestly the last person you want to have a contest with to see "how long a person can go without an orgasm'. I'll win.

I can't even be kept in that frustrated place easily. I'll give up, sublimate it some place and deal with the denial. But then that's just me, I'm sure some people love orgasm denial. I'm sort of "meh" about it. I can work in a short term session, not long term at all. After a while, I just won't give a damn one way or the other.

Now I do love, and I mean LOVE prolonging orgasm, or having it controlled. But that is short term and that does work nicely. The arousal is kept at a peak and the orgasm just out of reach. Oh when it does arrive, it is mind blowing and I'm a pan of jello waiting for a mold to shape me.

So with you on this. No matter what.. I will get to a point that I'll close my eyes and just go to sleep or shut off... if I'm not tired.. then I'll just lie there.. in other words..frustrate me too long and I wont even want you to touch me... and if you continue to touch me past this point, then you'd better be prepared for long periods without sex. And I know I can go longer than you can without it. This is not me "topping from the bottom".. it's just how my body and mind work... it happens with sex, it happens with food and it happens with drink. I'll want it..crave it..need it..obsess.. then.. nah.. I dont even want it anymore...

 

[intothewoods]

Mister Man does teasing/frustration often. I like it. He likes it. Win-win. He also often does morning quickies where it's all about him doing whatever he wants, and I get nothing. This is usually followed by longer sex later in the day or that evening, so it's not an issue. There's basically enough sex to go around.

As far as denial goes - as in, for three days you won't get to come? He really would have no interest in that sort of thing. I'm kind of with OSG on that actually. It seems like that would be weirdly focused on me. I mean, weird for me. And anyway, he's more of an in the moment kind of guy. This generally works out well, although I would love to have full on bondage-percussion play a little more often than we do.

 

[shysilverwing]

It's just more fun

I find that not being able to orgasm makes me even more responsive to everything and crave sex non-stop. Although I am completely inexperienced, so I can't give that much input on this subject, so I only know about self-imposed denial. I find that after I do orgasm I get a little hyper-sensitized, and that makes me lose some interest in it. I find that if I can hold off orgasm, not only is it a better orgasm in the end, but I also enjoy that frustrated desperate feeling of needing a release. I really like the feeling of trying to do anything for an orgasm, I love it when you are at the edge and could go over it and then are let down and you feel some relief, but you are overcome with a feeling of desperation for release.
Now I realize that I really need to get more experience

 

[Caitlynne]

[..] I've gone without sex for over two years before (I tend to be reactive and if nobody inspires me I'll just go without. I'm an all or nothing kind of gal.) At some point I just shut off the drive. Orgasms were more of tension relief or porn aided hormonally driven.

Yep, this is me too.

 

[DeservingBitch]

What about bi peoples? (have yet to vote)

Wouldn't queer cover that? I purposely put 'queer' rather than 'gay'.

 

[_kiana_]

Yeah - I meant both. Again, shouldn't post when drunk.

Hey, this thread is interesting, even though you did post when drunk. So post away!

Denial + me = nono.

If I'm outright denied from touching myself at all, well, like I said earlier. I become asexual. Not interested in any sort of sexual contact in the slightest and will lead to me resenting whoever imposed said denial. But in saying that, I doubt I would ever allow someone to even try that on my again.

The sort of denial that you bring me close to orgasm over and over, for a long period of time, but never letting me have it? That gets my body to shut down the ability to orgasm. For some time. (The last time this was checked it took me four hours of very purposeful masturbation to fix it. And no, it is not any fun.) But that last check was some time ago. I'm not really wanting to find out if that peculiar attribute has gone away though.

Orgasm control can be wonderful. The last time I had it controlled it caused me to be more sexual than I ever had been before. And I'd love to go there again. I love the frustration that can be caused. I love the torment. I'm a masochist in more than one way it seems

 

[oneguy4fun]

I'm a straight male and I love it! If done right it's hot as hell. I'm not talking about flat out denial. That's just boring. However if it's done in a teasing and controlling manner it is very hot. My wife controls my orgasms and I am allowed release once or twice a month. The times in between I am horny as ever and I love it.

 

[bone251]

More about delay then total denial. and more about teasing and edging. What is so special to me is how this game can make me focus on her pleasure. Being brought to the edge of orgasm with a very intense BJ or PIV then to change to just me pleasuring her orally is such an incredible rush for me. Being kept on the edge and feeling her orgasm almost makes it feel like I came. Not being allowed to cum until she is totally satisfied make me feel really secure that she is happy. For me after being edged over and over for several hours or days will give me the most incredible orgasm.

 

[9to5]

I have to say being teased and brought to the edge a couple of times. then not knowing when or if this will be the time .
makes you want to keep pleasing the other person

 

[SubKekiLee]

I enjoy orgasm denial to a point, this week has been hard on me and he has been very hard to me.. I havent been allowed to cum all week since i violated the rules and came w/o permission ... I guess will teach me to do it w./o permission... and I begged today and he told me you beg so well.. but I know when he lets me it will be so rewarding..

but i am about to go CRAZY!!!!!

 

[faeriefire]

I'm not sure how long we're talking about denial...I love it if I'm constantly reminded over a period of time, kept on edge because someone is aware and keeps me conscious of my body with a look, a text, a call, an email, a touch. But if I'm ignored or just flat out know it won't be happening in the next oh, week, then I'll redirect and focus my energy on exercise or music or something. I don't think my body ever shuts off completely like some people have mentioned. But that said I'm also a bit of a late bloomer. And I haven't had a lot of freedom to explore my sexuality until recently. Sometimes I feel an overwhelming need to orgasm, often dependent on my cycle or level of life frustration and I think if I were told not to cum when I was feeling antsy like that it might make me rather grumpy. But my next reaction would be to smile and anticipate eventually being able to cum...I'm all about optimism lol. And I love to tease and be teased so I'd have to say that denial within reason is very good for me

 

[PassionateStars]

Time

It is very exciting to see a lover become more and more urgent and even desperate about being able to cum, with her wanting and waiting and feeling so filled with desire for her well-deserved orgasm.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

I love it (queer/femme/Top type). Don't like it so much on the guy/girl spectrum but girl/girl? Keeping her on edge for hours/days?? *happy grin* Why yes, yes I do.

ETA: I am all about the control of it..not flat out denial. Unless we won't be together for a few days. *shrugs*

 

[Daddyslilpet]

This is an important facet of orgasm denial. Although I think it is easier for women than men to deal with denial. Our bodies just work differently.

Anyway, for me, if I'm kept too long in denial, I go completely out of a sexual mode. I just lose interest. I am quite honestly the last person you want to have a contest with to see "how long a person can go without an orgasm'. I'll win.

I can't even be kept in that frustrated place easily. I'll give up, sublimate it some place and deal with the denial. But then that's just me, I'm sure some people love orgasm denial. I'm sort of "meh" about it. I can work in a short term session, not long term at all. After a while, I just won't give a damn one way or the other.

Now I do love, and I mean LOVE prolonging orgasm, or having it controlled. But that is short term and that does work nicely. The arousal is kept at a peak and the orgasm just out of reach. Oh when it does arrive, it is mind blowing and I'm a pan of jello waiting for a mold to shape me.

Yes this is me too. I thought I was an odd duck, glad to hear I'm not the only one that this happens to. I also like Netz's term for it... "becoming low-libido" I think that describes it aptly.

 

[ammre]

yeahhh, orgasm denial doesn't work very well on someone like me who's already situationally anorgasmic. (I can't get off when there's someone else int he room, or heck sometime even the vicinity)

heh, deny whattt?

 

[SubKekiLee]

Ive decided that I throughly enjoy the control he has over me when he denies me, I know when I first started I didn't care for it.. BUT the rewards of waiting until he does give me permission... mmmmmmm it so intense and I love what it does to me... It makes me more aware of my surroundings, my love for him, how to please him... and how to ensure I will be allowed to cum...

 

[ataxia.girl]

About a month ago i got into this weird funk where it seemed like the only time i could cum was when Daddy specifically told me i wasn't allowed to and so to do so was being naughty. i came, confessed, got lightly punished and straight away did it again. i found the experience pretty distressing as i'm not normally one to be so blatantly disobedient but i confess i enjoyed the thrill of being naughty and wondering what would happen when he "found out".

My orgasm is broken right now which is par for the course with me. i generally hate orgasm denial or any kind of orgasm control. Just leave me alone and let me cum when i fucking feel like it and the cosmos are aligned just right to allow me to do so. i like to be enjoyed but not if enjoying me is wrapped up in my ability to cum or not. On the other hand....i've been known to get upset if i think no one cares at all whether i ever cum at all ever.

Denying orgasm makes me almost as uncomfortable as permitting it because both are actively calling attention to something that neither i nor they have any control over but that they often think they should have control over and i wish they did have control over and feel really terrible they don't.

Rather just fuck me please and have your own orgasm

 

[Pure]

denial is contiguous to control. denial could be for an hour, a day a week. then removed at the top's discretion. long term denial may amt to desexualizing the bottom, as a few posters have said.

that *might* be a goal of the top, a goal to which the bottom surrenders, but it need not.

as to osg's point about control being linked to a focus on the sub's pleasure, i can see that *might* be the case. my idea, however, is to use the bottom's pleasure, e.g. sexual, as a 'carrot.' if she wants to come, she will present her mouth as a hole for spit, lick feet, or whatever.

when on the bottom, too, there's a fine helpless feeling from knowing the top controls the pleasures, the primal rewards that shape behavior in any desired way.

 

[nippleslut]

I am another one of those that if denied to long i just lose interest in sex. He found out about the early in our relationship. Now He no longer withholds or denies but instead brings on so many that i dont want to anymore. Neither one of us realy evert cared for the denial or stipulation of orgasums. It was just something we tried out. He likes knowing that what HE has done to me has brought it on. Also it is a natural response to sex so the way that i feel is why forbid it.??