Innocence Regained

[NemoAlia]

Near the end of This Side of Paradise, Fitzgerald's main character says, "I don't want to repeat my innocence. I want the pleasure of losing it again."

I lost my physical manifestation of innocence to myself long before I ever had sex -- thought I would try this masturbation thing that everyone was talking about, and wound up with bloody fingertips. Lately I've been fantasizing about having my hymen surgically repaired, so that I could eventually have the thrill of letting someone else break it. (Of course, the pain of being sewn shut appeals to the play-piercer in me too...)

I've seen some pretty graphic pictures of people having their labia sewn shut, and I've heard tales of people whose doctors have performed a similar procedure on their hymens -- the question is: Has anyone had any experience with this? Does anyone share my fantasy, even as a side thought in the back of your mind?

And most of all, what do you think?

 

[Limbhugger]

I can't recall when I first started touching myself. I must've been a young child. I can recall sharing it with my friends growing up. Our little masturbation gatherings seemed naughty yet completely normal. I miss those times. The purity, the innocence, the unkown.

But I never thought (nor did they) as my orgasms as breaking my virginity. That was something entirely different. And the first girl I had "sex" with was far from a virgin. I am happy to report that I am one of those men who has no desire to be with a virgin. I prefer my women to be experienced and knowledgable. But then I am that's me.

Hymen reconstruction to me is akin to a breast job. Uneccessary and dangerous. It is prevelant in Mid-East cultures but more for societal reasons than personal.

I always cringe at surgery as a part of play. You aren't a virgin anymore, period. That isn't a bad thing. At least in my mind. It indicates you a re woman of knwon desires and known pleasures. It reveals a woman in control of her body.

I really can't speak to the "kink" if that is what it is because I have no basis of reference. But body modification should always be taken very seriously. Especially with something as beautiful as a pussy...lol!

LH

 

[Pure]

I have heard of the operation; I think it's pretty minor surgery, and of course has nothing to do with labia sewing.

I'm not sure why to do it, unless you're moving to Somalia and want a Somali husband, or some such.

Still, if there's some kinky 'loss of virginity' scene that haunts and entices you, I don't see the big deal. And of course there are other ways to have pain in that area than hymen tearing.

Keep us posted.

J.

As far as fantasy goes, I don't have one centered on that blood. The idea of debauching a true innocent (in mind) might have some attractiveness, however.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Don't know if I would ever bother for the sake of losing the physical virginity again. Part of that losing process is the not knowing what it is really going to feel like to have intercourse, what is going to happen from there, having another become intimate with you and enter your body for the first time, a psychological/emotional deflowering of sorts. That is already lost and can never be regained unless you have amnesia. Aspects of torture along similar lines of surgery etc., as you discussed though do feature in my fantasies often and pleasurably. Not sure I want to experience the reality of some of my rather extreme and graphic imaginings though.

Catalina

 

[Mr Blonde]

Has anyone had any experience with this? Does anyone share my fantasy, even as a side thought in the back of your mind? And most of all, what do you think? [/B]

No!

It is interesting but I cannot really relate. I am circumcized and wonder what being uncircumcized would be like....but I ain't gonna have some operation to find out!

As for the general idea of innocence, it is an ongoing issue over the course of our lives. I still get a thrill the first time I bring a new woman into my bedroom. I remember the first touch, the first time we lay in bed together and those initial conversations we share about boundaries. I am no longer innocent but exploring a new relationship can still be exciting in its own way.

 

[NemoAlia]

All right, I admit it. I do have a kinky fantasy focused on that first bit of pain and that touch of blood. Maybe it's because I never had that with another person?

The thrill of beginning anew with a new person is enticing, sure, but I keep wondering what it would be like to have a long time of enforced chastity beforehand, with a physical alteration at the end -- a red badge of courage.

Anyhow, I'm blushing every time I open this thread. This'll teach me to begin every new thread hereafter with "I have a friend who..." Heh.

 

[snoozebutton]

I agree with Limbhugger you can't go back. But maybe hypnosis and have you believe your a virgin again , heck beats surgery.

 

[niteshade]

I was a really active child, horseback riding, tree climbing, that kind of thing (god, where did all that energy go?) and I guess that somewhere along the line, my hymen broke... or maybe it was the tampons my mother warned me about. Who knows? I can say that my first sexual intercourse was not painful in the least, and there was no blood. Granted, the guy was small... I tend to bleed now if I am even with someone who is on the large side, or if having a large toy used on me... but I hadn't thought of having my hymen surgically replaced.

LOL... when I started typing, I would have said, no, I won't consider it, but now I am wondering what it would be like to actually have that experiance. See what you did?

 

[NemoAlia]

Yeah, I don't know if I would have developed this interest if it weren't for my exposure to other people's (men's?) fantasies. There's a great little bit of porn I read once about a girl who maintains her maidenhead all through her debauched youth -- depending on anal and oral sex for her physical pleasure. Her lover goes on and on in the story about how incredible it is to have a 'virgin' lover who is completely un-innocent. The poignant irony, etc. It appeals to me.

 

[NemoAlia]

I agree with Limbhugger you can't go back.

I guess I'm not really wanting to "go back." I like knowing what I like and how I like it. I'm just eroticizing the sacrificial pain, the anticipatory chastity.

 

[snoozebutton]

I guess I'm not really wanting to "go back." I like knowing what I like and how I like it. I'm just eroticizing the sacrificial pain, the anticipatory chastity.

I can see that, kinda like pushing my submissive to the threshold of her limit.

 

[ownedsubgal]

Near the end of This Side of Paradise, Fitzgerald's main character says, "I don't want to repeat my innocence. I want the pleasure of losing it again."

I lost my physical manifestation of innocence to myself long before I ever had sex -- thought I would try this masturbation thing that everyone was talking about, and wound up with bloody fingertips. Lately I've been fantasizing about having my hymen surgically repaired, so that I could eventually have the thrill of letting someone else break it. (Of course, the pain of being sewn shut appeals to the play-piercer in me too...)

I've seen some pretty graphic pictures of people having their labia sewn shut, and I've heard tales of people whose doctors have performed a similar procedure on their hymens -- the question is: Has anyone had any experience with this? Does anyone share my fantasy, even as a side thought in the back of your mind?

And most of all, what do you think?

i'm a bit ashamed to admit it, but yes, i've thought about something like this. what i refer to today as my "first time" wasn't really...it was just the first time someone had done something sexual to me that wasn't a sick twisted rape (many yrs of childhood abuse). my hymen was broken before i lost my first baby tooth. every once in a while, i get a little sad thinking about it...not having a real first time, that is. something done with love (not necessarily gentle, mind you, just with love in that person's heart for me)...something where he knows it's my first time and he wants to make it "special". when i first heard about that cosmetic surgery, to sort of rebuild a hymen, the possibilities definitely crossed my mind. with such a surgery, i could kinda, sort of, have a first time. and it would be right. but then reality strikes me...that would be fake. role play. it wouldn't be my real hymen, it wouldn't be my real first time, i am not truly an unbroken vessel....so what would be the point? i need reality, as glum as it may be.

 

[Netzach]

I have no idea where my hymen went only that it wasn't there to cause me any trouble upon "losing it"

I think there's a balance beam or a hobby horse or a monkey bar set out there with a notch on its bedpost.

 

[NemoAlia]

Re: Re: Innocence Regained

so what would be the point? i need reality, as glum as it may be.

I would be totally fine with the reality being I had been sewn together for the pleasure of being torn apart. I don't feel the urge to role play a loss of virginity.

 

[Pure]

Nemo, you are truly kinky. I like that.

N: //I would be totally fine with the reality being I had been sewn together for the pleasure of being torn apart. I don't feel the urge to role play a loss of virginity.//

Any other forms/methods of vaginal pain appeal to your imagination?

 

[Quint]

Yup, I've idly fantasized about hymen reconstruction since I heard the procedure existed. Mine too disappeared into the ether long before I could properly dispose of it--not that it mattered; there was more than enough pain in my deflowering to compensate. I think it's a combination of the physical and spiritual for me--ever since seeing "Stealing Beauty," I've vaguely regretted giving it up so recklessly. Plus I didn't really appreciate pain at that time. I'd like to do it over again, mebbe for a special occasion.

Nice to learn new things aboutcha, Nemo.

 

[NemoAlia]

Any other forms/methods of vaginal pain appeal to your imagination?

Well, yeah. All the good old standards. But I don't have an abiding fantasy about fisting, the way that I do about this. Dunno why not, though.

I think you're pretty neat too, Quint. Always glad to see you.